Crazy neighbor kids...crazier neighbor mom :(

[myhoney]

Unbelievable night, and not in a good way. We have few kids in our neighborhood, but there are 3 kids that live 2 doors away. Similar in age to my older 2 girls (10 and 8). It has always been a strange relationship. The kids play nicely for a while, but the neighbor kids don't listen well, and DH and I have a problem with that. We are generally strict about rules and boundaries.

We had a school friend over for dinner, and they were playing outside in our driveway. Neighbor kids come over to the lawn in between our houses with two other kids from the neighborhood, who we don't really know well, but have had mixed experiences with. Through our window (we had just finished giving our little two kids a bath), we see the four neighborhood kids appear to be throwing things. I go out and hear that they were throwing rocks in our yard, toward our car, and pretending to throw them at our kids, and then teasing them for flinching. Of course, the other kids left when I came out, but the dad of the random kids (not our close neighbor) asked if everything was ok. He had just come up to take his kids home. I told him I heard they were throwing rocks, and he immediately was on his son about it, telling him to apologize and never to do that...good.

We had a snack and went back outside. Then the girls showed me the rocks. OMG! It wasn't gravel/pebbles like I was expecting (not that that would be right, either). They were landscaping stones! I found 5, and holding all 5 at once took up my entire hand (with fingers flat out, too!) I was shocked and furious. The close-by neighbor mom had gone out, but when she got home, I took the rocks over.

I approached the mom and showing her the rocks said that these were the rocks the kids were throwing in our yard. She asked me (in between checking her phone) what kids? Um...your kids and the other kids. She then asks if I actually saw them throw the rocks. Um...yes, through my window I saw the hand motions. She goes, "So, you didn't actually see them throw the rocks?" ***? So, I pointed out that we don't have landscaping rocks, but the yard her kids had been standing in did. She went off on me about how I obviously have an issue with her kids and why would they even throw rocks. Good question. I'd like to know myself!

I told her I did have a problem with her kids if they are going to pull stunts like this. And that 2 years ago, her kids told us they weren't allowed to play at our house, but they keep coming over, so we don't know what's going on. In fact, they don't "come over". They stand on the very edge of the yard of the house between us, because the old man that lives there went to a nursing home. And they stand there and stare at us as the kids play in the driveway. Sometimes we want to play by ourselves. Or sometimes they invite themselves over and the kids play, but the neighbor kids make snarky comments, and DH and I don't like it. They are not good friends, but we put up with it to a point just to try to be neighborly.

So, the mom brings up that 2 years ago I asked her son what the hell he was doing in my yard, which I absolutely did. And I explained to her that after the first time I caught him in my backyard uninvited and unbeknownst to me, I nicely told him our backyard was off limits, as we were building a deck and it wasn't safe. There was wood and nails about and it was a construction zone. The second time, I yelled because I didn't know it was him; I didn't know who it was, just that someone unknown was in my backyard and appeared to be standing on the joists. Very dangerous. I burst outside yelling, saw it was the kid, and asked what the hell he was doing there since I had already told him it was off limits. Then I asked how he had gotten there, since I had been at the kitchen window and he hadn't come by there. He had snuck through the back woods behind our houses and come all the way through our backyard! And, because I had burst out of the house, I had startled him so he tried to hide between our brick house and our natural gas grill, standing in and around the gas line. (We immediately bought a million dollar umbrella policy to protect ourselves from liability. Not kidding.)

She didn't say anything to all that, but just went on again about how I obviously have issues with her kids, and I'm always yelling at them. (The only other time we yelled at them, I was having contractions with my 4th child, and after saying 3 times that we were done playing for the night, and bringing our kids inside, we found her kids still in our driveway, playing with our stuff. DH opened the door and yelled out, "We are done. Go to your own home!" Oops. Our bad.)

So, she finally says sarcastically to send her a bill for any damage. Unbelievable! Not, thank God no one got hurt, or the cars didn't get hit. There is no damage. But I was and am shocked that she turned this around to be me just not liking her kids. She said a few times "what do you expect? They are kids." Sorry, but I have kids, too, and my kids don't stand on your property line mooning over your fence at your pool. Never ever. My kids don't bring their playdates to your house, asking if they can play with your stuff (but not with your kids). They have no boundaries, and what is most upsetting, is that if she really feels like we are so horrible, why does she even let her kids come near our house??? Because then they are out of her hair. I already told my girls to never ask if they can play with those kids, and when the neighbor kids start calling over (which they always do), to just ignore them. My girls asked what the mom said when I showed her the rocks. I said that she didn't seem to believe it happened. They seemed as shocked as I was.

My kids are not perfect by any means, but I would certainly take any accusation seriously, however unlikely it may seem. And, in the 11 years we have lived here, and all the crap her kids have pulled and said, never once did I complain to the parents. (The dad moved out a few years ago.) We would just end the play or not let them come over to play for a while. So, it's not like I'm always over there complaining that one of her kids looked at mine crosseyed, or some crazy thing. Tonight someone or something could have been hurt. The one rock they threw hit our tree and bounced back toward my kids and the school friend. But, as crazy as the mom's response seems, what possesses a group of kids (ages 11, 9, 7, and 6) to act that way?

 

[firecracker725]

Unbelievable night, and not in a good way. We have few kids in our neighborhood, but there are 3 kids that live 2 doors away. Similar in age to my older 2 girls (10 and 8). It has always been a strange relationship. The kids play nicely for a while, but the neighbor kids don't listen well, and DH and I have a problem with that. We are generally strict about rules and boundaries.

We had a school friend over for dinner, and they were playing outside in our driveway. Neighbor kids come over to the lawn in between our houses with two other kids from the neighborhood, who we don't really know well, but have had mixed experiences with. Through our window (we had just finished giving our little two kids a bath), we see the four neighborhood kids appear to be throwing things. I go out and hear that they were throwing rocks in our yard, toward our car, and pretending to throw them at our kids, and then teasing them for flinching. Of course, the other kids left when I came out, but the dad of the random kids (not our close neighbor) asked if everything was ok. He had just come up to take his kids home. I told him I heard they were throwing rocks, and he immediately was on his son about it, telling him to apologize and never to do that...good.

We had a snack and went back outside. Then the girls showed me the rocks. OMG! It wasn't gravel/pebbles like I was expecting (not that that would be right, either). They were landscaping stones! I found 5, and holding all 5 at once took up my entire hand (with fingers flat out, too!) I was shocked and furious. The close-by neighbor mom had gone out, but when she got home, I took the rocks over.

I approached the mom and showing her the rocks said that these were the rocks the kids were throwing in our yard. She asked me (in between checking her phone) what kids? Um...your kids and the other kids. She then asks if I actually saw them throw the rocks. Um...yes, through my window I saw the hand motions. She goes, "So, you didn't actually see them throw the rocks?" ***? So, I pointed out that we don't have landscaping rocks, but the yard her kids had been standing in did. She went off on me about how I obviously have an issue with her kids and why would they even throw rocks. Good question. I'd like to know myself!

I told her I did have a problem with her kids if they are going to pull stunts like this. And that 2 years ago, her kids told us they weren't allowed to play at our house, but they keep coming over, so we don't know what's going on. In fact, they don't "come over". They stand on the very edge of the yard of the house between us, because the old man that lives there went to a nursing home. And they stand there and stare at us as the kids play in the driveway. Sometimes we want to play by ourselves. Or sometimes they invite themselves over and the kids play, but the neighbor kids make snarky comments, and DH and I don't like it. They are not good friends, but we put up with it to a point just to try to be neighborly.

So, the mom brings up that 2 years ago I asked her son what the hell he was doing in my yard, which I absolutely did. And I explained to her that after the first time I caught him in my backyard uninvited and unbeknownst to me, I nicely told him our backyard was off limits, as we were building a deck and it wasn't safe. There was wood and nails about and it was a construction zone. The second time, I yelled because I didn't know it was him; I didn't know who it was, just that someone unknown was in my backyard and appeared to be standing on the joists. Very dangerous. I burst outside yelling, saw it was the kid, and asked what the hell he was doing there since I had already told him it was off limits. Then I asked how he had gotten there, since I had been at the kitchen window and he hadn't come by there. He had snuck through the back woods behind our houses and come all the way through our backyard! And, because I had burst out of the house, I had startled him so he tried to hide between our brick house and our natural gas grill, standing in and around the gas line. (We immediately bought a million dollar umbrella policy to protect ourselves from liability. Not kidding.)

She didn't say anything to all that, but just went on again about how I obviously have issues with her kids, and I'm always yelling at them. (The only other time we yelled at them, I was having contractions with my 4th child, and after saying 3 times that we were done playing for the night, and bringing our kids inside, we found her kids still in our driveway, playing with our stuff. DH opened the door and yelled out, "We are done. Go to your own home!" Oops. Our bad.)

So, she finally says sarcastically to send her a bill for any damage. Unbelievable! Not, thank God no one got hurt, or the cars didn't get hit. There is no damage. But I was and am shocked that she turned this around to be me just not liking her kids. She said a few times "what do you expect? They are kids." Sorry, but I have kids, too, and my kids don't stand on your property line mooning over your fence at your pool. Never ever. My kids don't bring their playdates to your house, asking if they can play with your stuff (but not with your kids). They have no boundaries, and what is most upsetting, is that if she really feels like we are so horrible, why does she even let her kids come near our house??? Because then they are out of her hair. I already told my girls to never ask if they can play with those kids, and when the neighbor kids start calling over (which they always do), to just ignore them. My girls asked what the mom said when I showed her the rocks. I said that she didn't seem to believe it happened. They seemed as shocked as I was.

My kids are not perfect by any means, but I would certainly take any accusation seriously, however unlikely it may seem. And, in the 11 years we have lived here, and all the crap her kids have pulled and said, never once did I complain to the parents. (The dad moved out a few years ago.) We would just end the play or not let them come over to play for a while. So, it's not like I'm always over there complaining that one of her kids looked at mine crosseyed, or some crazy thing. Tonight someone or something could have been hurt. The one rock they threw hit our tree and bounced back toward my kids and the school friend. But, as crazy as the mom's response seems, what possesses a group of kids (ages 11, 9, 7, and 6) to act that way?

Your history with this woman and her kids has shown that she will not react well to you confronting her about their behavior, so I don't understand why you bothered. If there is property damage, file a police report. Otherwise, just try to avoid them as best you can.

 

[Disney Doll]

Ignore them. If the kids come onto your property calmly say "You guys need tog o home. You're not welcome here". If he mother says anything say "Based on our kids' history together and your lack of desire to properly supervise your children, it's best that we keep them apart".

Nice people always worry about ticking off nasty neighbors...meanwhile the nasty neighbors never seem to worry about ticking off the nice people. Your neighbors don't need to be your best friends or even casual acquaintances....they just need leave you alone and not annoy you.

 

[TheIncredibles!]

Unbelievable night, and not in a good way. We have few kids in our neighborhood, but there are 3 kids that live 2 doors away. Similar in age to my older 2 girls (10 and 8). It has always been a strange relationship. The kids play nicely for a while, but the neighbor kids don't listen well, and DH and I have a problem with that. We are generally strict about rules and boundaries.

We had a school friend over for dinner, and they were playing outside in our driveway. Neighbor kids come over to the lawn in between our houses with two other kids from the neighborhood, who we don't really know well, but have had mixed experiences with. Through our window (we had just finished giving our little two kids a bath), we see the four neighborhood kids appear to be throwing things. I go out and hear that they were throwing rocks in our yard, toward our car, and pretending to throw them at our kids, and then teasing them for flinching. Of course, the other kids left when I came out, but the dad of the random kids (not our close neighbor) asked if everything was ok. He had just come up to take his kids home. I told him I heard they were throwing rocks, and he immediately was on his son about it, telling him to apologize and never to do that...good.

We had a snack and went back outside. Then the girls showed me the rocks. OMG! It wasn't gravel/pebbles like I was expecting (not that that would be right, either). They were landscaping stones! I found 5, and holding all 5 at once took up my entire hand (with fingers flat out, too!) I was shocked and furious. The close-by neighbor mom had gone out, but when she got home, I took the rocks over.

I approached the mom and showing her the rocks said that these were the rocks the kids were throwing in our yard. She asked me (in between checking her phone) what kids? Um...your kids and the other kids. She then asks if I actually saw them throw the rocks. Um...yes, through my window I saw the hand motions. She goes, "So, you didn't actually see them throw the rocks?" ***? So, I pointed out that we don't have landscaping rocks, but the yard her kids had been standing in did. She went off on me about how I obviously have an issue with her kids and why would they even throw rocks. Good question. I'd like to know myself!

I told her I did have a problem with her kids if they are going to pull stunts like this. And that 2 years ago, her kids told us they weren't allowed to play at our house, but they keep coming over, so we don't know what's going on. In fact, they don't "come over". They stand on the very edge of the yard of the house between us, because the old man that lives there went to a nursing home. And they stand there and stare at us as the kids play in the driveway. Sometimes we want to play by ourselves. Or sometimes they invite themselves over and the kids play, but the neighbor kids make snarky comments, and DH and I don't like it. They are not good friends, but we put up with it to a point just to try to be neighborly.

So, the mom brings up that 2 years ago I asked her son what the hell he was doing in my yard, which I absolutely did. And I explained to her that after the first time I caught him in my backyard uninvited and unbeknownst to me, I nicely told him our backyard was off limits, as we were building a deck and it wasn't safe. There was wood and nails about and it was a construction zone. The second time, I yelled because I didn't know it was him; I didn't know who it was, just that someone unknown was in my backyard and appeared to be standing on the joists. Very dangerous. I burst outside yelling, saw it was the kid, and asked what the hell he was doing there since I had already told him it was off limits. Then I asked how he had gotten there, since I had been at the kitchen window and he hadn't come by there. He had snuck through the back woods behind our houses and come all the way through our backyard! And, because I had burst out of the house, I had startled him so he tried to hide between our brick house and our natural gas grill, standing in and around the gas line. (We immediately bought a million dollar umbrella policy to protect ourselves from liability. Not kidding.)

She didn't say anything to all that, but just went on again about how I obviously have issues with her kids, and I'm always yelling at them. (The only other time we yelled at them, I was having contractions with my 4th child, and after saying 3 times that we were done playing for the night, and bringing our kids inside, we found her kids still in our driveway, playing with our stuff. DH opened the door and yelled out, "We are done. Go to your own home!" Oops. Our bad.)

So, she finally says sarcastically to send her a bill for any damage. Unbelievable! Not, thank God no one got hurt, or the cars didn't get hit. There is no damage. But I was and am shocked that she turned this around to be me just not liking her kids. She said a few times "what do you expect? They are kids." Sorry, but I have kids, too, and my kids don't stand on your property line mooning over your fence at your pool. Never ever. My kids don't bring their playdates to your house, asking if they can play with your stuff (but not with your kids). They have no boundaries, and what is most upsetting, is that if she really feels like we are so horrible, why does she even let her kids come near our house??? Because then they are out of her hair. I already told my girls to never ask if they can play with those kids, and when the neighbor kids start calling over (which they always do), to just ignore them. My girls asked what the mom said when I showed her the rocks. I said that she didn't seem to believe it happened. They seemed as shocked as I was.

My kids are not perfect by any means, but I would certainly take any accusation seriously, however unlikely it may seem. And, in the 11 years we have lived here, and all the crap her kids have pulled and said, never once did I complain to the parents. (The dad moved out a few years ago.) We would just end the play or not let them come over to play for a while. So, it's not like I'm always over there complaining that one of her kids looked at mine crosseyed, or some crazy thing. Tonight someone or something could have been hurt. The one rock they threw hit our tree and bounced back toward my kids and the school friend. But, as crazy as the mom's response seems, what possesses a group of kids (ages 11, 9, 7, and 6) to act that way?

You already addressed the rock issue with the Dad, he responded, spoke to the child and made him apologize. You going over after that with the actual rocks was unnecessary and that is probably why the mom responded the way she did. It was addressed, you needed to let it go. What did you expect by going over there with the actual rocks? The size of the rocks doesn't change the fact that no damage occurred and that the kids were already held accountable for it.

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

I think this is one of those situations where you wait until you've completely cooled down before approaching someone. Perhaps your demeaner came across as threatening or accusatory in a way that this mom felt she had to defend herself the way she did. It doesn't make it right, and I'm not justifying her actions. I'm just going through it in my mind.... I also think some of these issues should've been addressed in a responsible way many, many years ago. There is definitely some built up anger.

 

[Christine]

The "Dad" she addressed it with was the father of another child. This mom is the mother of the other set of children. So the OP did not address it twice with the same family.

The first parent responded appropriately. The second parent did not. Is it any wonder her kids are horrible?

 

[Mizzoufan]

I get a fence to keep the kids out of the yard. It sounds like this women could care less. I wouldn't approach her again.

 

[Dawnlight]

It doesn't sound like she's handled things very well, but I wonder if she's overwhelmed with being a single mom (mention of the dad moving out years ago). That certainly doesn't justify bad behavior on her or the kids part (I was raised by a single parent), but it could explain things.

I wonder if you might implement "You catch more bees with honey than with vinegar". See if you can be a friend to her, try to have organized and supervised playdates with the kids so they can get to know one another. Maybe it's gone beyond that and there is no chance, but if you are going to stay put and they are going to stay put, I'd try to be at least civil to them (not implying that you weren't).

 

[Lisaloo]

Two years ago you asked a 6-8 year old child what the hell they were doing in your yard?!

 

[SC Minnie]

Is your neighbor Rita Glossner?

 

[Dawnlight]

It doesn't sound like she's handled things very well, but I wonder if she's overwhelmed with being a single mom (mention of the dad moving out years ago). That certainly doesn't justify bad behavior on her or the kids part (I was raised by a single parent), but it could explain things.

I wonder if you might implement "You catch more bees with honey than with vinegar". See if you can be a friend to her, try to have organized and supervised playdates with the kids so they can get to know one another. Maybe it's gone beyond that and there is no chance, but if you are going to stay put and they are going to stay put, I'd try to be at least civil to them (not implying that you weren't).

Quoting myself because I want to give an example of how I used the honey vs. vinegar in a situation with a neighborhood boy:

Our street has many kids including a boy a couple houses down that can be very difficult. My girls get along with his sister, so he often is in our yard either playing with one of my younger boys or together as a group. We had a fire pit that got a small hole in the bottom, but was still usable. When the weather got nicer and I wanted to use it, I saw a HUGE hole in the bottom that rendered it useless. I asked my kids about it and they told me that neighbor boy saw it, saw the hole, and decided that since it had a small hole it was useless any way, so he jumped on it to create the large hole. I was fuming!

I let myself cool off and considered options. I first thought that I'd approach the parents and tell them what their son did, but then thought the better of it. I, instead, approached the boy. I asked him if he had done it, he denied, then fessed up. He explained exactly what my kids had told me; he saw the hole, thought it was useless, and destroyed it fully. I told him that 1) it was our property and whether he thought it was useless or not was irrelevant; that was our call, not his and 2) things that are damaged can be mended or still used as-is. I gave him examples such as showing him the dent in our car door and the porch stairs of ours that need repair. He agreed that he wouldn't damage those further just because they were somewhat damaged already.

He was very remorseful and we left it at that. I never talked to his parents about it (we are on good terms with them; very nice people). I felt he was capable of discussing it maturely. A week or so later, he came up to me and asked me if he could pay for the fire pit. I got really choked up! He understood that it still had value and wanted to make things right- he did this on his own with no prompting from parents. I told him that I appreciated the offer, but that it wasn't necessary, and told him that when we get a new one he's invited over for s'mores- no hard feelings.

I don't think he would have internalized this lesson had I gone to his parents and he was forced as punishment to pay for the item. I think he would have been angry at me for telling on him, and the parents may have responded in a way that I hadn't anticipated (people can get weird when other adults find fault in their kids, no matter how justified they are!).

BTW, this boy is 11, so similar in age to the ones mentioned above.

 

[aaarcher86]

Eh, I don't know why you care if she thinks you're big meanies. I'd just tell the kids no when they ask to play and send them home if they invite themselves.

If they pull rock throwing stunts again I'd call the cops and maybe it'll scare the kids into knocking it off.

Kudos to you for not losing your bananas on the mom. She probably wouldn't have been so lucky with me. Sometimes you just have to be the crazier neighbor.

 

[Dizlvr]

We had some issues with a neighborhood punk and we put up a security camera outside and made it known that we would involve the police if we had too.
He was older than your kids OP but doing the same thing, throwing rocks at my car. I also believed he keyed it but have no proof which is why we put up the camera.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I am stuck on how extremely upset you are by the size of the rocks. 5 rocks which all together cover one hand? That is still pretty small--no, not pebbles, but the type of rock I imagined as soon as I read "throwing rocks" that is a common size and easy to pick up and aim and throw.
Which is not to say that the kids should have been throwing rocks (they should not) or that no one could have been hurt (they could have)--but the amount of reaction to the size of the rocks seems a bit of overkill even here on this thread a day later---perhaps you can across a bit overly strong when talking to the neighbor?

personally, based only on what is here, it seems like you perhaps come on too strong and react too much (also based on the "what the hell are you doing in my yard?" to a young kid) and she does not supervise her kids enough and the combination of the two is really not good. It DOES seem like she is right that you do not like her kids, which probably leads you to overreact to anything they do do, which makes her even more defensive, and so on and so forth. Maybe you would be best to cool off, and try to put a stop to the cycle with that honey instead of vinegar suggestion from above?

 

[slo]

Whenever I read threads like this (as in the OP) or hear stories like yours, it makes me even more grateful for the wonderful neighbors I have, and that all their girls are like nieces to me (I've known all but one since birth).

Because I'm blessed with wonderful neighbors I have no suggestions
I can say that I hope everything gets better and easier soon for you.
It can't be easy feeling stressed and angry when you're home.


ETA.....Do you have any friends that are in law enforcement?
You may want to ask them if they have any suggestions for you.
I have multiple friends that are police officers, and I think I would ask them before anyone what I should do in this situation.
They've seen it all. I know, because my DH is a retired volunteer firefighter and EMT and he's seen it all too. The difference between him and a police officer is he would go to a domestic disturbance or with neighbors and he would treat the injured and be done. The police officer gets the whole story (or as much as someone is willing to tell).
Again....good luck!!!

 

[luvsJack]

I haven't had problems like this with kids since my sons were little (dd's friends just didn't do that kind of stuff) but I usually found it was easier to deal with the kids. Now, I never told a kid he wasn't welcome at our house, just that he had to behave. I was known for getting on to someone else's kids just like I did mine. Not sure if that would work the same in today's world but it worked then.

If I saw the kids throwing rocks, I went out and asked what they were doing and proceed to reprimand the kids doing the throwing. And usually there was a "if you want to keep coming over here, you have to behave"

It seemed to me, that if the kids felt welcome at a home, they may mess up but usually they would want to behave to continue being welcome. And if they see the adults as "parent figures" rather than "that mean lady that won't let us play", they behave better too. (not saying you are a mean lady).

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Put bear traps in the yard.

 

[TAX GUY]

My first thoughts after reading this was.... they are all just kids. Keyword: KIDS. Between the ages of 8-10 +/-. We live in a development with many families and kids of all ages. Mostly boys with a few girls. We hear the kids outside all the time. Most of the time they get along and play well. Other times they argue and "fight" (typically over stupid stuff like who wanted to use what toy and you had it last time and its my turn...you know, KID stuff). Anyway, there were times I would run to the window or the door to try and make them all play nice but I learned quickly...they will sort it out. I was a kid and had the SAME encounters and we always worked it out. Within a few minutes we were all playing again and more often than not, it was onto something different.

Here's my take on your situation. You yell and tell the other kids to beat it, "get off my lawn you pesky kids", you can't play here or with my kids, blah blah blah. You are teaching your kids to shoo away these kids too. The "bad neighbor" kids only want to play but when your kids tell them, "I'm not supposed to play with you", then they react to that. In turn, they stand at the yards edge, wanting to play, but yet they are turned away. Good job setting the example!

To revert back to my story, yes, we've had issues with other kids. Yes, we've had to play referee and help move them all along onto the next game. Never did tell any of them to "get the hell out of our yard" or told they were not allowed to play with our kids. We tell them ALL if they cannot get along, then they ALL need to either find something else to do or EVERYONE goes home. Oddly enough, they all moved on and played on.

 

[mjkacmom]

Are they boys? Boys throw rocks. Tell them to stop throwing rocks, and I bet they will. As a mom of two boys, and three girls, they are night and day. I've always been amazed at some if the stuff I'd have to tell my boys not to do, and when you get a group of them together? Only as smart as the dumbest one. It doesn't mean that they are bad kids - their brains just seem to work differently. My oldest son is 17, and way past this stage, but ds12 still has some of those "what were you thinking?!" times, especially when he's in a group of kids.

No standing on the van! No hitting golf balls into neighbors' yards. No smashing pumpkins and throwing the pieces at the girls! Would I ever have to tell my daughters these things? Nope.

 

[lauradis]

Put bear traps in the yard.

Then she can yell "what the hell are you doing stuck in my bear trap"

All joking aside op. I wouldn't be a mother bear over this. Doesn't seem like the other mother wants to hear it. I would try being more friendly. Maybe you will get lucky and they will move.