Crabby crabby crabby vent about preggos....

[Laurabearz]

Ugh I am sooooo crabby...... mostly when I am reading posts (not here on the DIS of course) but preggo posts.....

So many of gals that post on these other boards are asking us questions that they should be asking their doctors...... Like I am bleeding on and off, is that bad? The doctor said I have blood in my urine...... why is that?

DUH.......... Ask your freaking doctors ladies......... :eyeroll:

But of course if one says hey you... ask you doctor not us fellow preggos..... well the whole gang jumps on you.......

Plus on all the boards I have visited there is one or two die hard natrual/breast/no circ any other way is sad and just plan wrong... and post under the geise that it is their opinion and anyone who disagrees with them can shove it...... coz they are right.

I was so blessed to find the best group of ladies while pregnant with my first..... we all went through the whole circumsion debate and natrual vs drug debate so nicely and supportively..... Even the breast vs bottle debate.... all went off without a hitch.... Each of fully supported each other in whichever choices we made..... No bashing.... no pressure..... just sharing of ideas and thoughts.....

But the board I mostly lurked on for Juju and now the boards for this baby UGH.........

It really saddens me...... I love my May 199 moms.... and wish so much to find another wonderful group of ladies like them.... but I fear it wont happen......

And it is making me crabby!

Thanks for letting me vent......... Off to cry now........darn hormones.....

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

you've been posting at iVillage haven't you?

sometimes the fighting over ther makes the disagreements here seem like nothing.

I love the epidural man, my kids were bottle fed, and if they'd been boys we'd have had the circ done. so don't think you are alone.

 

[Laurabearz]

Just for the record....... I breast fed my first for over 9 months, my second for over 18 months, and may or may not breast feed my third at all...... This had the breastfeeding gurus up in arms.....:eyeroll: How could you NOT bfed your last...... LOL My story into the darkness of Post pardum insanity shut them up for the most part...... Yet some still wont respond to me because I am a traitor.....and talk honestly about my breastfeeding experieces.... the good and the BAD LOL

And no, Not IVillage, but close..... the AOL boards...... IVillage's format sucks..... but it is the same kind of people I am sure.

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

yes, we are totally inadequate parents because we didn't choose their regimen for raising our kids.

my older dd will be 12 this week, younger dd is 10. they are happy, healthy and well adjusted kids. so what difference does it make what I chose to do when they were infants?

 

[ahutton]

I found all the millitant mom's when I was expecting my kids too. I was lucky that my DH, while he had his own ideas, realized his best bet was to support whatever I wanted or needed. It made the difficult times liveable, and the rest of the times good.

 

[dcgrumpy]

double post

 

[dcgrumpy]

I'm also due in May, if you find a good board let me know.

I'm not breastfeeding, taking all the drugs I can get and if it's a boy, I'll be circumcising (well not me personally)

 

[Laurabearz]

Originally posted by dcgrumpy
I'm also due in May, if you find a good board let me know.

I'm not breastfeeding, taking all the drugs I can get and if it's a boy, I'll be circumcising (well not me personally)

So far no luck in any good boards.... but if your interested in an email loop let me know!

Is this your first???

 

[AirForceRocks]

I had the misfortune of meeting up with a couple of commando mammarians when I was pregnant with my first child. I was undecided about breastfeeding at that point, and when I said so, I was shocked at the response. Good moms breastfeed, if you don't do it you're a terrible mom, blah, blah, blah.

So, my pat answer for the radical breastfeeders was modified to: "Actually, we're doing IV feeding - you know, a needle and a bag. I can just hook the kid up in the morning, shut the door, and I don't have to bother with him/her again until the bag runs dry". After that, bottle feeding didn't seem like such a bad thing to the la Leche Leaguers.

BTW, I did end up nursing both kids for a year.

 

[aahmom1]

I'll bet I know which board you're talking about. I can't believe some of the things I've read on a certain mothering board. They're enough to make your head spin. LOL

 

[robinb]

Gee ... I kinda like being "radical" . I had a natural, drug free delivery with a midwife, a doula, my husband and my best friend. It was one of the most amazing moments of my life. Then I nursed my daughter for 2 1/2 years .

I was a member of a Mom's List for August 1999. I fired my high-risk OB at 36 weeks because he wanted me on drugs and said all his patients had an episiotomy. The condition I was being treated for was no longer a concern and I found a more simpatico practioner.

I find the majority of obstetric medicine is really appalling. I would read other women's birth stories and cringe. The stories about doctors "breaking the waters" and "pushing pitocin" in the beginning to "get the labor going" made me sick. Why? What's the big hurry? It was done as a matter of course.

I'm sure that in many instances epidurals, pitocin, episiotomies, fetal monitoring, clamps and c-sections are needed. I also want to say that any birth is a wonderful birth, even with such medical interventions. But ... in most cases they are not needed and are just part of the medical practitioner OB staus-quo. That's just the way that things are done with this doctor at this hospital. Most women don't know that they can question the "experts" and have a different kind of birth. I think it's good that some of the women on the lists are questioning the deeply held assumptions on birth. If that makes them "radical" then so be it. What, then, are the women who "follow doctors orders" through out their labor without question? Hint: Baaaa.

 

[clutter]

I'm an EXCUSED mom....

I'm single, so sahm's excuse me for working.

I had a breech baby (and was an old mom), so the natural birther's excused my drugs, because I was a c-section. (Kid was upright since birth, skipped crawling and walked at nine months.)

I was bone dry, so I was excused for bottle feeding (for the most part, because as we all know, there's really no such thing as a mom with no milk. Of course, that didn't keep me from having dry let-down for months.) from the la lache league.

Guess I'm just an excuse for a mom. Makes me wonder how I ended up with such a great and healthy kid.

 

[Laurabearz]

Originally posted by robinb
Gee ... I kinda like being "radical" . I had a natural, drug free delivery with a midwife, a doula, my husband and my best friend. It was one of the most amazing moments of my life. Then I nursed my daughter for 2 1/2 years .

Most women don't know that they can question the "experts" and have a different kind of birth. I think it's good that some of the women on the lists are questioning the deeply held assumptions on birth. If that makes them "radical" then so be it. What, then, are the women who "follow doctors orders" through out their labor without question? Hint: Baaaa.

I want to make sure you understand my thoughts on this.... I support any method of birth a women chooses.... And I support gathering as much information as one can so that one knows all the options... That is the important thing.... knowing all your options.... Not which way someone thinks is better......... not forcing one's own opinion on someone as the only way...... but sharing your experiences and the information you have gotten with others... not condeming them for not following what you did to the letter....

Then, after one has the information, making the choices that are best for them........

Information can be shared in a non judgemental way.... It can be.... and if that makes me a sheep...... well I will be one..... coz better to baaaaa nicely than be a witch

 

[Kallison]

I had two epidurals and one natural. The epi might not be needed but boy did it make delivery easier! My natural isn't any healthier or more well adjusted than the epidural, so I really don't see the point to the extra pain. Also breastfed oldest for 6 months, middle for 6weeks and youngest for 6 days! The middle has asthma and allergies. Breastmilk didn't make him healthier than the youngest. Those decisions seemed so earth shattering then, and really don't matter much to having healthy, well adjusted, kids. All different choices can lead to the same outcome.

 

[Patricia]

Don't let them get to you! Choice is the key to the whole game. If you and your doctor and spouse are happy and the baby is healthy, that's all that matters. I remember feeling those pressures when I had the kids. My first was a natural labor, then an emergency C. People had all types of comments about that and made me feel inadequate and like I had failed. Second was a VBAC with an epidural at the end of 7 hrs of labor. ( I adored that epi by the way). Still people had comments about that. Then my last was 6 hrs with a C at the end. I had no apologies to anyone and no regrets either. I finally got enough courage to say that I was happy with the way it turned out. No failure here at all. I had 3 perfect and healthy babies. THen the breastfeeding dilemna. I bf the first for a little while and hated it. I just simply hated the whole thing and dreaded feeding time instead of feeling a bonding and joy. When I finally went to the bottle, it was so much better for me. No bf for either of the other two. I have 3 of the healthiest kids I know. None of them has been to the dr. for more than 5 year other than sports physicals. I am not denying it's better for babies, it just didnt' work for me and my family. Why oh why do women persist on beating each other up about their choices. We do not have to do everything the same. Smile and enjoy the pregnancy and whatever you choose to do. My sister says " This childbirth and child raising thing is a marathon. We all take a different pace and I will meet you at the finish line either way. Just enjoy the run"

 

[epcotfan]

Well said Patricia!

 

[robinb]

I know I shouldn't DIS late at night and let other's name calling get to me . I'm sorry if I hurt anyone's feeling because it was not my intention and I appologize.

Labor and delivery is a very personal decision and one that should be made by the parents. Drugs, no drugs, whatever ... every birth is special and every baby beautiful .

I would like to make my point clear. I am not judgemental about moms who make a educated choice to have medical intervations or in those terrible cases when those interventions are needed. It's the medical establishment that gets me riled up and how those interventions are the norm and some women do not know that certain procedures are really not needed.

 

[Breezy_Carol]

Sixteen years ago, when I had my DD, I went to the childbirth classes. The leader was sooo anti-medical intervention. As a physical therapist, I could see where there are times when an IV might actually be necessary, along with other interventions. I said so with mixed responses. I ended up having a c-section secondary to several medical problems. Then, after DD was born, I called the leader to report back. I told her about the section. She said "Oh that is too bad." My thoughts were, no this is a healthy baby and we are all well, it is not "too bad." Needless to say, with DS, I went to different classes.

 

[pajamommy]

I'm with you, Laurabearz, I never understood why some women get so riled up about these issues. Why can't people just do what is best for themselves and their families, and not worry what others are doing, what do you care? I bottle-fed both of my kids, and they are 2 of the healthiest kids you'd ever meet. Now, my best friends kids, who were breastfed, they are constantly sick, so go figure. Oh, and my son got the cut, too! Do what works for your family, and live and let live. There are certainly better things in life to debate.

 

[goofygirl]

Reading stuff like this makes me even MORE glad to be childfree

I've lurked on "mommy boards" just out curiousity. They sound like a bunch of people who have no life and are totally obssessed with babies. Pathetic.