Jodi, I would talk with a professional the first time at least. They can help you decide what you need or want done and how to do it.
Perms and highlights can damage hair.
But here's what I do. When I get the perm, I have them do the highlights or just color, whatever. Then between perms, I color my hair using a level 2 color just a shade or two lighter than my own. It highlights my hair without bleaching anything. They really aren't noticed, it looks very natural. When I started this I just had a few grays. Only people taller than me could notice. lol But by now, I've a few more.
Most of all, condition like crazy.