Cousin from Japan...

[RickinNYC]

So Mom just called and reminded me that she and a cousin from Japan (never met her) will be coming to NYC next week for a couple of days. Good son that I am, I'm taking off time from work to be happy host. Now get this! Mom just gave me the list of what this girl wants to do when she's in town:

1. Visit Empire State Building
2. Shop in Chinatown
3. Go to a fancy "New York style" steak house
4. Visit East Village
5. Go to a jazz club
6. See Blueman Group
7. Shop along 5th Avenue
8. Visit Ground Zero
9. See Statue of Liberty
10. See Central Park
11. Get coffee in Greenwich Village (NO idea what that's about)
12. Take a boat tour of Manhattan
13. Go to Brooklyn
14. Go to Rockefeller Center
15. Tour Radio City Music Hall
16. And if we have time, see a Broadway show



After Mom gave me the list, I was stunned into silence. The kicker was that this chick expects Mom and I to pay for everything, not to mention that fact that she apparently has control of the time/space continuum becuase she wants to do all of the above in two evenings and one full day.

I asked Mom what in the world gave this girl the idea that all of the above was even remotely possible in the time she had. Apparently her friend was in town last y ear and did all of that and more so she expects to do the same. Her friend, by the way, was here for two weeks.

Pretty much told Mom that she can confidently tell this kid that I'm going to happily pick a few of the things on the list she graciously provided and will gladly take her around in the time allowed. But I wasn't about to drive Mom and I ragged doing so.

I totally understand that this girl has never been here, but I suggested Mom tell her to do a little internet research so she can get an idea that what she wants to do and what she really will do are two totally separate things. Yeesh.

Nevertheless, I'll just smile and wave, smile and wave and be the happy go lucky son/tour guide! While Mom, of course, will just smile and wave and smack me on the back of the head should she see me get my "ticked off Ricky look" as she so aptly put it.

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

Tour Guide Rick is on the case! I have faith in you.

 

[luvwinnie]

Wow. She's Japanese I assume? I mean, not an AMerican LIVING IN Japan? How old is this person? I'd definitely email her informing her that she cannot do all this without the aid of someone who can stop time!

 

[diznygirl]

After Mom gave me the list, I was stunned into silence. The kicker was that this chick expects Mom and I to pay for everything, not to mention that fact that she apparently has control of the time/space continuum becuase she wants to do all of the above in two evenings and one full day.

That's crazy! Maybe the Blueman Group wants to eat a steak dinner with you at the Empire State Building???

Good luck with that!

 

[luvwinnie]

If I walk outside my building on 34th St and see a ticked-off looking man leading 2 women in a sprint, I'll know it's you!

 

[freckles and boo]

Good luck! What is the forecast? Maybe you can just blame the weather!

 

[luvwinnie]

That's crazy! Maybe the Blueman Group wants to eat a steak dinner with you at the Empire State Building???

Good luck with that!

Great idea! And ask Bloomberg to move 5th Ave to CHinatown!

 

[ButchJohnson]

I would just act like you are going to try to fit it all in, then pick the ones you don't mind doing, then when time runs out for the others, you can say "oh well we tried, maybe next time."

 

[L107ANGEL]

That's crazy! Maybe the Blueman Group wants to eat a steak dinner with you at the Empire State Building???

Good luck with that!

 

[meandtheguys2]

Bless her heart! You are a good son!

 

[RickinNYC]

Wow. She's Japanese I assume? I mean, not an AMerican LIVING IN Japan? How old is this person? I'd definitely email her informing her that she cannot do all this without the aid of someone who can stop time!

Yup, she's Japanese. And she doesn't speak one lick of English. And I don't know much Japanese beyond asking for the time, how much something is and where is the bathroom.

I'd email her but... well... see above.

 

[Missy1961]

If I walk outside my building on 34th St and see a ticked-off looking man leading 2 women in a sprint, I'll know it's you!

Yes, me too!

This kind of sounds like the people who do no research on WDW & expect to visit all 4 parks completely in 2 days....in the middle of summer!

 

[brasswillow]

That's crazy! Maybe the Blueman Group wants to eat a steak dinner with you at the Empire State Building???

Great idea! And ask Bloomberg to move 5th Ave to CHinatown!

Oh I like both these idea! Do you think you could work it out for me the next time I visit New York?

You should get some kind of award if you are able to accomplish half of the things on her list!

 

[hentob]

The kicker was that this chick expects Mom and I to pay for everything....

I would be sending her an email right this minute reminding her that you are not going to be doing so

 

[RickinNYC]

Oh! And I forgot MOMA! She wants to spend time at the Museum of Modern Art.

This is what I figure we'd do:

Pick them up at Amtrak at 1:30pm and take them to their hotel. Try my best to make sure the girl hasn't driven Mom out of her mind during the three hour train ride.

Hotel is in Time Square so give them a quick tour of the area, then walk over to 5th Avenue and set them loose shopping. Try my best to make sure Mom still has control of her wits through Purse/Shoe Therapy.

Carry Mom's bags, scoff at the girlie girl and make her carry her own dang stuff while I take them across town to Gallagher's for said, "fancy New York style steak house." Get Mom a Margarita and me a gigantic martini and keep 'em coming. Of course, insure sanity is still part of Mom's vocabulary.

Drop off their crap at the hotel after dinner, hop on the subway so I can scare the bejesus out of the girl in hopes of some reality treatment. Make sure Mom is still pleasantly buzzed from the margarita. Take them to the Blue Note for some jazz as she requested, in the hope that perhaps the music will act as Prozac and make her nod off, ditch her accordingly so Mom and I can go to a cabaret to tie one on. Margaritas and martinis.

Reality strikes me when I realize she hasn't passed out to the lull of some modern jazz, so I take them both through Greenwich Village to a coffee house for desert for chick, and LOTS of coffee for Mom. She has now apparently stopped loving margaritas and has also forgotten how to speak English.

Hop in a cab and take them back to their hotel, drop them off and I head home to sleep off my martini induced hang over.

That's the first night of planning. Thoughts?

 

[L107ANGEL]

Oh! And I forgot MOMA! She wants to spend time at the Museum of Modern Art.

This is what I figure we'd do:

Pick them up at Amtrak at 1:30pm and take them to their hotel. Try my best to make sure the girl hasn't driven Mom out of her mind during the three hour train ride.

Hotel is in Time Square so give them a quick tour of the area, then walk over to 5th Avenue and set them loose shopping. Try my best to make sure Mom still has control of her wits through Purse/Shoe Therapy.

Carry Mom's bags, scoff at the girlie girl and make her carry her own dang stuff while I take them across town to Gallagher's for said, "fancy New York style steak house." Get Mom a Margarita and me a gigantic martini and keep 'em coming. Of course, insure sanity is still part of Mom's vocabulary.

Drop off their crap at the hotel after dinner, hop on the subway so I can scare the bejesus out of the girl in hopes of some reality treatment. Make sure Mom is still pleasantly buzzed from the margarita. Take them to the Blue Note for some jazz as she requested, in the hope that perhaps the music will act as Prozac and make her nod off, ditch her accordingly so Mom and I can go to a cabaret to tie one on. Margaritas and martinis.

Reality strikes me when I realize she hasn't passed out to the lull of some modern jazz, so I take them both through Greenwich Village to a coffee house for desert for chick, and LOTS of coffee for Mom. She has now apparently stopped loving margaritas and has also forgotten how to speak English.

Hop in a cab and take them back to their hotel, drop them off and I head home to sleep off my martini induced hang over.

That's the first night of planning. Thoughts?

Brilliant!

 

[Caradana]

Rick, I had no idea you had jet packs and Donald Trump to make that plan possible. Two nights and one full day?!? I did a mental pricing and time accounting of just the first few. Empire State, $40 and 4 hours ... Chinatown, probably $100 and 5 hours ... Steakhouse, with wine, at least $250 and 3 hours ... Blue Man Group, $300 and 5 hours ...

She's nuts. You're a nice man. Handling this with a lot of grace.

P.S. Having met him, I think that Joe is probably faintly amused by this.

P.P.S. go look at the video.

 

[CEDmom]

Look at it this way, at least she didn't ask to visit the Smithsonian, see Mount Rushmore, the Grand Cayon and Hover Dam and then top it off with a ride on It's a Small World during her whirlwind trip to the US .

 

[Caradana]

P.P.P.S. doesn't this chick need to go to one of those bars on Christopher Street btw Washington and the West Side Highway? Buy her leather pants and a whip in Chinatown first. You might scare all knowledge of the English Language right out of her.

 

[PixiePop]

I say take her to a book store and buy her a book on New York.