catsrule
Mary Jo
- Joined
- Jan 14, 2001
- Messages
- 15,649
MORON #1
> > A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter
> > and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man
> > pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the
> > clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and
> > fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he
> >got
> > from the drawer? $15.
> > (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, was a crime
> > committed?)
> >
> > MORON #2
> >
> > A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and
> > carrying a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled,
> > "FREEZE, MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A ****-UP!" For a moment,
> > everyone was silent. Then the snickers started. The guard completely
> > lost it and doubled over laughing. It probably saved his life, because
> > he'd been about to draw his gun. He couldn't have drawn and fired
> > before the thief got him. The thief ran away and is still at large. In
> > memory of the event, the banker later put a plaque on the wall
> > engraved, "Freeze, mother-stickers, this is a ****-up!"
> >
> > MORON #3
> >
> > Seems this Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
> > that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor
> > store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block
> > and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced
> > back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious.
> > Seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event
> >was
> > caught on video tape.
> >
> > MEGA MORON #4
> >
> > As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed
> > her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately and the woman was
> > able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within
> > minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car
> > and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car
> > and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied "Yes
> > Officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
> >
> > MORON #5
> >
> > The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
> > Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5am, flashed a gun and demanded
> > cash.
> > The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash
> > register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the
> > clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated,
> > walked away.
> >
> > MORON #6 Kentucky:
> >
> > Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain
> > from the machine to the bumper of their pickup
> > truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though,
> > they pulled the bumper off their truck!. Scared, they left the scene
and
> > drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine. With their
> > bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle's license plate
> > still attached to the bumper. They were quickly arrested.
> >
> > MORON #7 and 5 STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!!
> >
> > When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a
> > Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police
> > arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motorhome
> >near
> > spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to
> > trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor
> >home's
> > sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press
> > charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
>
> > A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter
> > and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man
> > pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the
> > clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and
> > fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he
> >got
> > from the drawer? $15.
> > (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, was a crime
> > committed?)
> >
> > MORON #2
> >
> > A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and
> > carrying a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled,
> > "FREEZE, MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A ****-UP!" For a moment,
> > everyone was silent. Then the snickers started. The guard completely
> > lost it and doubled over laughing. It probably saved his life, because
> > he'd been about to draw his gun. He couldn't have drawn and fired
> > before the thief got him. The thief ran away and is still at large. In
> > memory of the event, the banker later put a plaque on the wall
> > engraved, "Freeze, mother-stickers, this is a ****-up!"
> >
> > MORON #3
> >
> > Seems this Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
> > that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor
> > store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block
> > and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced
> > back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious.
> > Seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event
> >was
> > caught on video tape.
> >
> > MEGA MORON #4
> >
> > As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed
> > her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately and the woman was
> > able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within
> > minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car
> > and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car
> > and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied "Yes
> > Officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
> >
> > MORON #5
> >
> > The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
> > Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5am, flashed a gun and demanded
> > cash.
> > The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash
> > register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the
> > clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated,
> > walked away.
> >
> > MORON #6 Kentucky:
> >
> > Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain
> > from the machine to the bumper of their pickup
> > truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though,
> > they pulled the bumper off their truck!. Scared, they left the scene
and
> > drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine. With their
> > bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle's license plate
> > still attached to the bumper. They were quickly arrested.
> >
> > MORON #7 and 5 STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!!
> >
> > When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a
> > Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police
> > arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motorhome
> >near
> > spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to
> > trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor
> >home's
> > sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press
> > charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
>
