Could the magic of Disney ever return to me?

[KickTheSky]

I think what you need to do is look for Magic in other places than just what you and your fiance shared. There is Magic everywhere at Disney. You just have to look. Watch a child get off a ride once and see their beaming faces. It will melt your heart. Take in the wonderful detail in the attractions and see the Magic that the imagineers imparted on them.

Yes, a lot of the Magic comes from the loved ones we share the park with, but it can also come from your own heart.

Also, it may be a good idea to take someone else that is close to your heart. By this I mean your family. Take your parents to the park as a surprise and forge wonderful memories with them that will last a lifetime.

Losing someone that you are that close to is very difficult. I went through it when I was your age, too. Now I am happily married and sharing Disney Magic with my wife as much as we can afford. You will bounce back. Take some time to deal with your loss and then move on.

I wish you all the luck in the world my friend. You will find the Magic.

 

[Chickkypoo]

I just PM you. I'm going thru the exact same thing right now. My fiance and I just split, and we were supposed to be getting married at Sunset Pointe this November 15th. I've decided since the plane tickets were already purchased that I'm going anyway with my family, and I'm going to try and enjoy things the best I can!

 

[Figment's friends]

My first true love dumped me in Disneyland. We are Canadian so it was a little far from home. I was pretty young and I had believed we would get married and be together forever. I thought we were a perfect match and loved him so strongly I couldn't fathom that he didn't feel the same way. (I found out years later he had been cheating on me the whole time) I have to say I stayed away from Disney and all things Disney for years.
I wasn't until I began planning for this, our next trip (10 years later) that I realized I had been denying myself the Disney magic. It hadn't left - I just didn't want to see it.
A big part of the joy is sharing the magic with someone else, my mother and I are taking a 14 y old girl with us that otherwise would probably never make it there. She is a complete Disney newbie and seeing the magic unfold before her is going to make our trip all that more wonderous. The magic is still there my friend and you WILL find someone worthy of sharing it with. My suggestion- Keep the promise rings in a box and forget about them for awhile. Years from now you will be able to look at them with the person you end up falling for and you will realize that by losing her at Disney you were given a magical gift. The chance to find someone that truley is your match.

 

[kidsister]

I believe that John gave you some excellent advice and Deekapee gave you a beautiful perspective.

The magic is in you, and you will someday feel the magic either alone or with someone else if you just let it happen gently and gracefully.

I was engaged at WDW. We spent a few nights of our honeymoon and every year thereafter at WDW. Then, on our 20th, my wasband kept making excuses to not go. We ended up going , but he was very cold and withholding. He left shortly thereafter and had been cheating. I too, wondered if I could ever go to WDW and not feel a deep longing for what had once been a magical memory. (We had not one, but two bricks!!!! one over by the luau and wedding pavillion, the other in front of MK).

I decided that I wasn't going to let his bad choices and bad behavior take away something that I cherished deeply. The first time I went back, I made sure that I was with friends. And yes, that time I avoided the Poly. And then I decided to buy into DVC, and start a new set of memories! It's been wonderful and I've made so many friends on this and other Disney boards.

The memories are in your heart and not AT Disneyland. Young love is terribly difficult to get over, but you will...I promise. Don't go to DL for awhile, and then when you finally do go, go with friends. Laugh. Smile. Eat a Dole Whip.
Do something brand new that you never did before. Time heals.

 

[PlutoLuvr]

The magic will definitely return for you. As you grow older, you'll find magic in many, many new ways.

One day, you'll meet someone who melts your heart in ways you've never imagined (yes, even more than this recent girl). One day, you'll go to Disney together and find all sorts of new magic spots that will belong to the two of you. Maybe you'll even propose to her at one of your magic spots.

Possibly years later, you both will bring your children to Disney and experience Disney through the eyes of your children and find a new magic you had never experienced.

When your children are grown and have kids themselves, you will find even yet more magic as you watch your kids experiencing that magic with your grandchildren. You'll have waves of memories of your lifetime with your true love by your side thinking the same thing. Maybe one of your kids will surprise you both with a 50th wedding anniversary vow renewal at one of the resorts.

Don't let your love of Disney die out with your love of this recent girlfriend. Like another posted mentioned, go to Disney with your friends or family when you're feeling up to it. Disney does an exceptional job of bringing the magic to its visitors, whether we're single, children, teenagers, childless couples, families with 10 kids or retirees who just like to people watch.

 

[Warlock128]

An Update.

i just re-read this thread and wanted to thank everyone for thier support and help that i needed when i started this thread. The pain and sorrow is still there, and i think of the many, many happy memories that we had at disneyland, and they will never ever leave my mind, sometimes i smile, and sometimes i feel the tears come, but i always remember the beautiful moments we shared at disneyland, and that i can keep in my heart forever.

the reason i return to this thread, is not only to thank those for your support, and yes, time does help ease the pain...a bit...i still think of what happened that sad day, but the happy thoughts are still there too.....but its because i have found someone who cares for me as much as i care for her. someone who appreciates me for who i am, is a disney nut who hasnt been able to go to disneyland in over 6 years, and is very beautiful, and is in love with me. i never thought id be able to feel this way again, and not only that, feel, happy, and have begun healing slowly every day, a little bit at a time.

But what i want to truely know is, how to be prepared, and if im making a mistake, or doing the right thing. I never thought id ever would think of going back to disneyland after what happened, especially with another woman, but she hasnt been in so long, and i love disneyland so much...i currently have ressies for the DLH for mid dec. for 2 days...am i doing the right thing, returning there with another, hoping to leave the old memories behind and make beautiful new ones and in hopes to finally move on for a happy future, or should i not go, and risk the chance of all those bad memories coming back, and ruining the magic for us.

i hope all turns out well, and that i can find the magic again, if i can , with this new person i am beggining to find happiness with, and in hopes we can share the disney magic, and other joys in life together.
thank you all for your support and advice and understanding.

 

[Johnfish]

An Update.

i just re-read this thread and wanted to thank everyone for thier support and help that i needed when i started this thread. The pain and sorrow is still there, and i think of the many, many happy memories that we had at disneyland, and they will never ever leave my mind, sometimes i smile, and sometimes i feel the tears come, but i always remember the beautiful moments we shared at disneyland, and that i can keep in my heart forever.

the reason i return to this thread, is not only to thank those for your support, and yes, time does help ease the pain...a bit...i still think of what happened that sad day, but the happy thoughts are still there too.....but its because i have found someone who cares for me as much as i care for her. someone who appreciates me for who i am, is a disney nut who hasnt been able to go to disneyland in over 6 years, and is very beautiful, and is in love with me. i never thought id be able to feel this way again, and not only that, feel, happy, and have begun healing slowly every day, a little bit at a time.

But what i want to truely know is, how to be prepared, and if im making a mistake, or doing the right thing. I never thought id ever would think of going back to disneyland after what happened, especially with another woman, but she hasnt been in so long, and i love disneyland so much...i currently have ressies for the DLH for mid dec. for 2 days...am i doing the right thing, returning there with another, hoping to leave the old memories behind and make beautiful new ones and in hopes to finally move on for a happy future, or should i not go, and risk the chance of all those bad memories coming back, and ruining the magic for us.

i hope all turns out well, and that i can find the magic again, if i can , with this new person i am beggining to find happiness with, and in hopes we can share the disney magic, and other joys in life together.
thank you all for your support and advice and understanding.

Warlock,

I want to wish you the best of luck! It is so tough to know what will happen with a new love. (Talking from recent personal experience) I think the best thing to do is keep looking forward. Dont live in the past. Memories are just that memories. Good or bad they are experiences we cannot undo or relive. Learn from them and cherish them (as apropriate) But dont let them rule your present and future. Live for the moment but also live for the future and enjoy life!!!

Again I wish you the best of luck! Now go out and create some new happy memories!!


John

 

[ecpool]

Also note that the promise rings we both wore, she returned them to me, i gave them to her there, and if i were ever to return, i would only see it fitting i return to our spot, and bury them there, and leave them there, since it was there our love was strongest, and its also where it died.

Not to be cold, but, I would sell the rings on e-bay and use the money towards another Disney trip (try Disney World) this time. You will have a great time and It will be part of the healing process.

 

[Goofy4Disney!]

My first trip to Disney World was with my husband. I have tons of memories there. I though I'd never be able to go back there after He died. And the first time back there was really hard for me. Full of memories. I think I cried most of the week...everytime I saw something for the first time again. I could remember Him running into a store the last minute on Main St. As the park was closing and running out with a huge stuffed Mickey Mouse that he bought me! I had memories of him everywhere...I went at Christmas time...my first christmas without him..because I also didnt want to celebrate Christmas at home in the old traditional way...being without him. So I went back to Disney....sort of hoping to cleanse my heart and soul...I was very sad, I have to admit.

But I've been back several times since....and each time it's easier than the first. I have made new memories there now...and even though I'll never forget the memories we made there....I'm making new ones. I think of my husband everyday...Disney or no Disney there are memories everywhere. So...yes...the magic can be found again. It's just a different kind of magic. A magic all it's own.

Best of luck to you, you sound very happy, I'm glad things are working out for you.

 

[mamaprincess]

If I understand correctly, your ex and you went to Disneyland together. Maybe you could dip a toe back into the magic at WDW in Florida. You guys have no history there. You could plan a trip with a few close friends and maybe go to Animal Kingdom and Epcot first, then MGM and MK later in the week. You could resort hop eat at some fun restaraunts, visit downtown disney go to the water parks.

In time the pain will subside and you will be able to return to disneyland. Meantime get to know the magic of WDW. Don't lose the wonderfulness of having disney be a part of your life. She took her love. Don't let her take Disney. Keep it, because you can, it is not something she can take away.

 

[alfredromero1975]

That's a sad story Warlock. Sorry about the pain you must have felt. I can see and understand your reluctance about wanting to visit again. I've known people that have met, got engaged and married at WDW. But don't force it. There are plenty of fish in the sea and you'll know what to do when the time is right.

 

[Bliss22]

Im posting this to see if others think if they were in my situation, the magic of disney could return to them.
Ive been going out with my faince for 3 years, and we are very close. The very first christmas present i ever gave to her, was i took my first part time job, worked for 3 months, and on Dec. 29th. i took her to disneyland, and it was the best day of my life, everything was perfect, it was as magical as it can be. We just saw pirates of the caribbean on dvd the night before, and it helped add to the disney magic, since we both loved disney.
It was also the day where i gave her our promise rings, so we would be together forever. She accepted and cryed with tears of joy, it was bar none the happiest day of my life.
For the next 3 years, every day on that day, we would return to disneyland on that day, and pledge our love once more, and i would give her a different gift each time. Last year, i asked her to marry me and she said yes. We were engaged.
then this Febuary, 2 weeks after her birthday, we went to disney again just to go, but its funny, the place where i experienced the happiest day in my life, will soon be the place where i have the worst day of my life. i was a muggy day, crowded and hot, lots of rides were closed, and she didnt have any affection for me. At our special spot where we pledged our love, she wouldnt even hold me or let me kiss her. i knew something was up. The whole day went like this until we went home and she wouldnt tell me whats wrong. it killed me to see her treating me like this, and i didnt know why.
A week later she phones me and says she doesnt love me anymore, and she gives me back the promise ring, and since then, she hasnt phoned me back or want anything to do with me. At disney, she gave me the happiest day of my life, but at the same time, 3 years later, she tore it apart.
If i went back there again, alone, with another, i dont know, i dont think i could Bear it, we have a beautiful memory at every spot at that park that i dream of always, and if i was there again, i dont think my heart could bear it, i would probably break down emotionally and leave, most likely.
I went on google video and youtube, just to type in " disneyland " And hear music from the park, or footage of people walking around or on the rides, and that alone tears me apart. i cant imagine what would happen if i was Actually there.
Has any DIS'ers ever lost there love or made there greatest love at disney? and then lose them? how could i ever return to my favorite place? i dont think i can, the memories and heart felt feelings, knowing shes gone forever, would crush me to deeply. I want to go to disney and go on the new POTC and see the updates of the Haunted mansion, but now i cant, i just couldnt....

Is there any tips you can give this heartbroken, disney lover, who doesnt think he could ever step foot in the kingdom again?

Edit : Also note that the promise rings we both wore, she returned them to me, i gave them to her there, and if i were ever to return, i would only see it fitting i return to our spot, and bury them there, and leave them there, since it was there our love was strongest, and its also where it died.

The only way magic will return is when you let it. It is always there you just have to be willing to forget the past and start fresh.

 

[chriskre]

I think you should come to Orlando and rekindle the awe at Disney World. At least you won't be constantly reminded as you are in Disneyland. I've been to Disney World more than 35 times in my life and can say that it still has not lost the magic for me.
God bless.
Chris

 

[SlightlyGoofy]

I am a bit older than many on the Boards and have seen a whole lot more of life than many (I hope) and I can tell you that I do not regret the loss of past relationships. At the time they were special in their own way, mostly, and the ones that were toxic, while mourned at the time are best left in the past now.

I have learned something from each and every person who has crossed my path and hopefully I have added something to their lives as well but not every relationship is destined to be the one for a lifetime. Some are short lived, some longer lasting and more meaningful.

When you finally do meet the once in a lifetime person you will be so grateful that you are not committed to someone else who would be less than perfect for you or you for her.

The only thing worse than being alone is being with the wrong person. One things it sure cuts down on your chances to meet someone better suited as they seldom let you date.

Time changes things. Give it time and make new memories at Disney while treasuring the happy moments you have had so far.

Best wishes and Happy Holidays!! Slightly Goofy