Cool idea or bad idea?

[va32h]

Well, not really cruel.

My daughters, 12 and 4 share a room. Currently they sleep on bunkbeds, twin over full. I know my oldest wants a little more privacy and am trying to figure out how I can make it work.

Their room consists of one large space with an adjacent alcove. Right now the alcove houses the 4 year old's play kitchen, table and chairs and a bookshelf. I could move all that to the larger room and fit the 12 yo's dresser and nightstand in the smaller space, but not the twin-size bed as it would block the closet door. So I was thinking of getting one of those chair-beds from Ikea, which could be pulled out at night and folded up during the day.

My idea is that it would be like a little studio apartment for her. But my husband is balking at the idea of his daughter not having a "real bed". For her part, my daughter is intrigued by the idea, but not sure it would be comfortable. So we are taking a trip to Ikea to test them out. Is there anything "wrong" with a child sleeping every night on a pull out bed?

We do have a guest room, but that really needs to be kept free for my mother who stays with us for several months out of the year.

 

[kdibattista]

I don't see anything wrong with that... I would have thought that was the coolest thing when I was 12

ETA: As long as it was comfortable

 

[Cool-Beans]

LOL, I know a guy who spent his first 13 years sleeping on the floor under the dining room table and grew up to happy and well adjusted. He also made millions and millions of dollars.

So, I don't think sleeping on a pull-out will scar her for life. If you're all happy with it, go for it.

 

[js]

Does the room fit two beds without being bunk beds?
Is it possible, when your mother visits, that she could sleep with your younger daughter in her room either on the bottom of the bunk or on a separate bed in your youngest room (if you moved your older daughter to the spare room).
I have an almost 14 year old daughter and although I don't see anything wrong with it, if I had to choose, I would side with your husband although my sensible side does say nothing is wrong with it.
I would just put my older daughter in the spare room and have my mom sleep with my younger daughter.

 

[va32h]

Does the room fit two beds without being bunk beds?
Is it possible, when your mother visits, that she could sleep with your younger daughter in her room either on the bottom of the bunk or on a separate bed in your youngest room (if you moved your older daughter to the spare room).
I have an almost 14 year old daughter and although I don't see anything wrong with it, if I had to choose, I would side with your husband although my sensible side does say nothing is wrong with it.
I would just put my older daughter in the spare room and have my mom sleep with my younger daughter.

My mom stays with us for 4-5 months at a stretch. I think that's a long time to share a room with a preschooler! The guest room has a TV and computer for her, as well as a closet for all her clothes and she can go to bed whenever she wants and wake up whenever she wants without worrying about disturbing anyone else.

While I do think my oldest daughter needs her privacy, I think my 70-some year old mother needs it more.

 

[mommasita]

I think it is a nifty idea

 

[Loverly]

In two years they will be 14 & 6. Can you really see them still sharing=a teen with a 2nd grader?

I'd try to steal some space from an adjacent room. Possibly a closet from the room your Mother uses for a few months-is it next to theirs? A closet could fit a single bed, and make a real divider in their room to give the older DD privacy.

 

[Forevryoung]

So someone who stays in your house for 1/3 of the year gets her own bedroom put aside for her and your daughter sleeps with a preschooler?

I would make it work. Somehow.

 

[va32h]

In two years they will be 14 & 6. Can you really see them still sharing=a teen with a 2nd grader?

I'd try to steal some space from an adjacent room. Possibly a closet from the room your Mother uses for a few months-is it next to theirs? A closet could fit a single bed, and make a real divider in their room to give the older DD privacy.

No, their room and the guest room are on opposite sides of the house. Their bedroom used to be the formal living room and dining room - so it really is too big for just one of them to have by themselves.

I don't see anything wrong, honestly, with 14 and 6 year old sisters sharing a room. When I was growing up, I shared a room with my two sisters who are 9 and 13 years older than me respectively. When my oldest sister moved out, I was five, and then it was just me and my teenage sister in the same room. And we are still alive to tell the tale.

 

[va32h]

So someone who stays in your house for 1/3 of the year gets her own bedroom put aside for her and your daughter sleeps with a preschooler?

I would make it work. Somehow.

OMG! Not "someone". My MOTHER! My 72 year old mother. Heck yes, the comfort of my elderly mother comes before the comfort of my perfectly healthy 12 year old.

And FWIW, my kids adore their grandmother and would never dream of turning her out of "her" room. They ask all the time when she is coming back.

Oh - and by the by - she stays with us because she cannot afford to live on her own, having stayed home to raise five children for most of her adult life she doesn't have much Social Security. She takes turns staying with me and my other siblings.

My mom has worked hard all her life and done more for me than I could possibly say - she deserves the respect and comfort of her own personal space. Yes, she deserves that more than a child does.

 

[Snow_White]

So someone who stays in your house for 1/3 of the year gets her own bedroom put aside for her and your daughter sleeps with a preschooler?

I would make it work. Somehow.

ITA. One of the daughters could at least have your mom's room for the 2/3's of the year when she's not there.

 

[I'mNoPrince]

I see no problem with it if DD has no problem with it.

Our DD14 had a twin over full futon in her small room. We made it a train garden for a while (upper part see Sig TinkRoom) and then she wanted more room. So she now sleeps about 2 inches off the floor on a Futon rack thing from Ikea she helped pick it out and it works great really opened her room up .

So what ever works and doesn't call sleep problems then go for it.

 

[solferino]

How big is the closet in the room? I ask because my sister is like this crazed decorator chick that gets this whim and runs with it. She took the doors off the closet in my younger niece's room and somehow managed to get a twin size mattress in it. Then she put up a beaded curtain to make it a separate area from the rest of the room- which now has like beanbags and a larger space for hanging out and playing DDR.

My niece loves it and my BIL was freaked out by the idea at first, but liked what my sister came up with.

Ok, so I have NO CLUE what the heck my niece is now doing with her clothes, but it looks really cool.

 

[Minnie]

ITA. One of the daughters could at least have your mom's room for the 2/3's of the year when she's not there.

This makes the most sense to me. Simply use storage containers to carefully pack your mothers things in while she is visiting your siblings and let your older daughter enjoy having the room to herself.

Then when grandma comes back for her next visit have everything unpacked and ready for her and the teen moved back in with the younger sibling.

I personally wouldn't go with a pull out bed. That sounds very uncomfortable and I can't imagine it would be good for her back during this high growth period. I'd keep the bunks and make it work with the extra room when grandma is visiting her other children.

Just another quick idea.... if you can't live with allowing the teen to use the room 7/12 of the year then is there a way to divide the room a little better? Say one side for the teen and one for the younger child with some sort of divider even if you had to go to super single beds for both? I ask because this was a solution a friend used years ago when they lived in a 2 bedroom home (no extra room anywhere to use for an extra bedroom). There are many types of safe free standing dividers or yeck even a curtain would likely work.

Good luck!

 

[allison443]

I don't think there's anything "wrong" with the pull out bed idea...do you remember the Mary Tyler Moore show-that's what she had and I thought it was cool!! It sounds like your daughter likes the idea. I know my daughter might get lazy and not fold it up-do you think that would be a problem?
I also don't see anything wrong with your two girls sharing a room (two of my girls share, although they are closer in age than yours). I think you're right, though, to look for ways to give the older one some privacy-maybe a bookcase could be used as a room divider, or maybe some curtains hung from the ceiling...just something to give her an area that's off limits to the little one.

 

[poohandwendy]

I think it's a cool idea. But, I am wondering if it may work out better if the 4 yo is the one who sleeps in the alcove, because it's likely the chair bed would be more comfortable for someone who is lighter and smaller. Just a thought.

Another idea that worked for us, waaaay back in the day. My parents had 5 kids in a 3 bedroom house, at one time. What they did was convert the game room into a large bedroom for the three oldest girls (I was one of them) Privacy was our biggest issue and what my mom did was buy those folding wall things and separate the room partially for each of us. It wasn't a great deal of privacy, but it afforded us all our own spaces. Just another way to incorporate privacy, in a non-permanent way. So maybe your eldest DD could have some space beyond the alcove, to call her own?

I think if you post a pic of the room, surely someone here could come up with some great ideas.

 

[Sandy321]

You will make it work!! and I applaud you for putting the needs of your mother a priority - it must make her feel so welcome - I think that is teaching an important lesson to your girls - - and it sounds like they are fine, you are just experimenting with ideas to make the room work!!

When I read the closet idea, that reminded me of my grandmother's one bedroom apartment, when my mom came to stay she had her own "room" - the closet - my grandmother somehow got a twin bed in there too - all I know is how proud my grandma and mom were with the arrangement - so do what needs to be done - I cant imagine anyone thinking you should give up your mom's space for even 5 months, or the girls wanting that space - it would always be grandma's room, that they would be "visiting" or "intruding" on - at least in their room they can put up posters, paint it like they want etc...

I think you have great ideas - go with it!!

 

[nataliela]

What about a a bunk bed with a twin on top and a desk, or just empty space at the bottom. Getting the bed off the floor will leave space for a dresser or another chair at the bottom. I actually think they have these at IKEA also.

I also think that room dividers or some sort of curtains will break up the room more to give more privacy.

 

[va32h]

I don't think there's anything "wrong" with the pull out bed idea...do you remember the Mary Tyler Moore show-that's what she had and I thought it was cool!! It sounds like your daughter likes the idea. I know my daughter might get lazy and not fold it up-do you think that would be a problem?
I also don't see anything wrong with your two girls sharing a room (two of my girls share, although they are closer in age than yours). I think you're right, though, to look for ways to give the older one some privacy-maybe a bookcase could be used as a room divider, or maybe some curtains hung from the ceiling...just something to give her an area that's off limits to the little one.

She probably would get lazy and not want to fold it up - but she has to make her bed every morning anyway, and if you've ever tried to make a top bunk -- this looks way easier.

I do already have curtains up between the two parts of the room; that's one of the things that made me think of making them two separate rooms.

I think it's a cool idea. But, I am wondering if it may work out better if the 4 yo is the one who sleeps in the alcove, because it's likely the chair bed would be more comfortable for someone who is lighter and smaller. Just a thought.

I thought of that too, but I worried that she has too many big toys (like the play kitchen and her Little People dollhouse) so I would still have to put a lot of those toys in the other daughter's part of the room.

Well we can always try it and go back to the bunkbeds if it doesn't work out. I can just leave the bunkbeds up actually, and if dd12 is unhappy after a week or two, her old bed is right there and she can use the alcove for a reading room or just a lounge or whatever.

And just to clarify - it's not as if the guest room is a shrine to my mom or anything. I'm sitting in it right now. I have an old desktop in here and bring my laptop in whenever I need to print or scan something or don't want to use the laptop in another room. And it is currently my present hiding and wrapping area.

 

[Tink&SquirtsMom]

Is there a reason you couldn't put the 4yo in the alcove area of the room? I only ask because if you are heading to Ikea anyways you could check out those "extending" kids beds. They grow from toddler size to twin size and everything in between (with only one mattress to buy, it's neat ). My 5yo who is way too big for a toddler, would easily fit in much smaller than a twin size and those beds would work for him. Not sure how much space you have to work with before blocking the closet becomes a problem, but maybe that is a solution that would work for a few years.

http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/S39847516

Another idea... what is their closet like? Could you get older dd a high loft bed to go in the alcove that wouldn't block access to the closet? Or on another wall could you put the dresser, etc under the loft bed so the bed could go on the same wall as those items and dd could have regular sized bed in the alcove?

I have my 2 boys (5 and 2) sharing a small room, and we don't plan on moving so I've spent ALOT of time looking at space solutions and how we can get them each more privacy as they age. I think there might be a few other options before resulting to a chair bed and Ikea is definitely a great place for researching small space solutions.

That said I don't see anything wrong with a chair bed and I can totally see a 14 yo loving the "studio apartment" set up. I have no idea how comfortable those beds are, and I also see the daily folding/unfolding of the bed getting tiresome (after months and years).