Cool idea or bad idea?

[Imzadi]

ITA. One of the daughters could at least have your mom's room for the 2/3's of the year when she's not there.

I agree with letting your DD have the room 2/3's of the year.

Or if the closet door is the only problem, take the door down & replace it with an accordion pleat door or a curtain.

I would think twice about the chair bed. most of those aren't designed for every nite sleeping. The mattress & whatever it rests on may not give enough support for a good night's sleep every nite.

I had a cheap futon. After a while, I used to get out of bed, all kinked up & my back & neck would only unwind after a long, hot shower in the morning. I thought I was just getting older. Once I got a memory foam mattress, the difference in my back was like night & day. My back problems instantly went away.

I'm an adult & didn't realize my physical problems were due to the bed. Your DD might not be able to tell you later she's having problems because of the chair bed.

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

it's not as if the guest room is a shrine to my mom or anything. I'm sitting in it right now

Okay this made me laugh out loud
I think you are doing the right thing by having your mothers room for her. It's not going to kill the kids to share a room, I don't see what the big deal is AT ALL.

I love the idea of the little alcove being hers, it's a great idea you came up with! Let us know how it turns out!!

 

[Carys]

I slept on a couch bed with a simple pull out foam mattress from age 12 to 17 with no problems. Hope you find a solution that works for your family

 

[SandraVB79]

OP, Can you post a "map" of the house, or at least of the girl's room. I am sure this will help some of the more creative minds here to come up with something neat!


I used to sleep on one of those Ikea beds you are talking about when I had sleepovers at my cousins. It hurted my back in a really bad way.

 

[chyam]

Does the room fit two beds without being bunk beds?
Is it possible, when your mother visits, that she could sleep with your younger daughter in her room either on the bottom of the bunk or on a separate bed in your youngest room (if you moved your older daughter to the spare room).
I have an almost 14 year old daughter and although I don't see anything wrong with it, if I had to choose, I would side with your husband although my sensible side does say nothing is wrong with it.
I would just put my older daughter in the spare room and have my mom sleep with my younger daughter.

I have to agree with this idea, after all your mom is there for only a short period of time, as your older daughter gets older she is going to want even more privacy. I don't think your mother would be a problem in with the 4 year old, just leave the set up the way it is and she can have the full bed when she does come.

 

[Nancyg56]

I see nothing wrong with your solution. Sharing a room helps children to prepare for the future when they need to "play well with others". They will survive and they will not be scarred for life, in fact their employers will kiss your feet!

I worked in a large call center and as we grew we needed to "hotel" work spaces on some shifts, we were a 24/7 center. This was a work space, not someones personal property and I cannot tell you the tantrums and the squabbles that ensued. Most of the people who complained were the younger set who had their own spaces throughout their lives, not the older set who were raised with larger families with fewer bedrooms. The transition was a nightmare for these folks and for those of us who had to deal with them.

I generally do not make blanket statements but honestly these young folks had never needed to share space or respect that others would use an area when they were not there.

 

[Cindy B]

It sounds like a great idea. Most older kids like something different. For example, my son has a Ikea loft bed.. and he loves it. (he's 13)

I wouldn't worry about it being proper. I've worked with clients (I used to do home based therapy) whose kids slept on mats on the floor.

 

[DVC Sadie]

OMG! Not "someone". My MOTHER! My 72 year old mother. Heck yes, the comfort of my elderly mother comes before the comfort of my perfectly healthy 12 year old.

And FWIW, my kids adore their grandmother and would never dream of turning her out of "her" room. They ask all the time when she is coming back.

Oh - and by the by - she stays with us because she cannot afford to live on her own, having stayed home to raise five children for most of her adult life she doesn't have much Social Security. She takes turns staying with me and my other siblings.

My mom has worked hard all her life and done more for me than I could possibly say - she deserves the respect and comfort of her own personal space. Yes, she deserves that more than a child does.

ITA! Good for you and I so agree. Some of the replies actually make me sad.

 

[Missy1961]

OMG! Not "someone". My MOTHER! My 72 year old mother. Heck yes, the comfort of my elderly mother comes before the comfort of my perfectly healthy 12 year old.

And FWIW, my kids adore their grandmother and would never dream of turning her out of "her" room. They ask all the time when she is coming back.

Oh - and by the by - she stays with us because she cannot afford to live on her own, having stayed home to raise five children for most of her adult life she doesn't have much Social Security. She takes turns staying with me and my other siblings.

My mom has worked hard all her life and done more for me than I could possibly say - she deserves the respect and comfort of her own personal space. Yes, she deserves that more than a child does.

I think this is wonderful. Your kids get to see first hand how to respect their grandma because you respect her.

And I think a chair bed sounds so cool! I would have loved that.

And BTW, I shared a room thru my college days with my 9 yr younger sister. Of course we had rough patches, but we got along pretty well, and we are still incredibly close today.

 

[va32h]

I have to agree with this idea, after all your mom is there for only a short period of time, as your older daughter gets older she is going to want even more privacy. I don't think your mother would be a problem in with the 4 year old, just leave the set up the way it is and she can have the full bed when she does come.

My mom snores really loud. I really don't think my 4 year old would get any sleep in the same room with her.

Really, kicking my mom out of the guest room is not an option. When my parents got divorced, my mother went back to work after more than twenty years as a housewife. All she could afford was a two bedroom apartment, and those rooms were given to my brother and me (the other siblings had moved out by then) while she slept on the couch. For ten years. For ten years my mom slept on a couch so I could have my own bedroom; the very least I could do is keep a space in my home reserved for her.

Now...my daughter certainly could walk down the hall and sleep in that bed at night when my mom is not around, but I'm not going to redecorate it or make it her permanent room. And that's what I'm really trying to give my daughter - a place that is "hers" to look however she wants it to look. And I will do that, regardless of where she eventually sleeps.

So what my daughter and I are going to do is...take the measurements of the alcove, including all the odd places where the closet is and so forth, and go to Ikea and see what they have. If I can render a little sketch or layout for you of the room, I will.

 

[puffkin]

I like the loft bed idea.....that is very popular in college so maybe she would find that cool. I think a pull out bed would get uncomfortable after awhile

And I see nothing wrong with reserving the guest room for your mom. You sounds like a wonderful and giving mother who deserves her own space. I think there would be more issues with having your daughter stay in that room for 2/3 of the year and then moving back with her sister for the other 1/3. I think you are making the right choice by finding a way to make your daughters' room work for them.

 

[fltwinmom]

OP - Can you post a picture of it and possibly post dimensions?

I'm an interior designer. Might be able to give you a few suggestions on space planning.

 

[phillybeth]

In two years they will be 14 & 6. Can you really see them still sharing=a teen with a 2nd grader?

My ex husband shared with his younger brother from the time they were 10 and 2 until they were 26 and 18, so yes, I can see a teenager sharing a room with a grade-school age sibling.

I'm shocked, really shocked, at some people's responses. I think you're absolutely right to reserve the guest room for your mom.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

I see nothing wrong with your solution. Sharing a room helps children to prepare for the future when they need to "play well with others". They will survive and they will not be scarred for life, in fact their employers will kiss your feet!

I agree.

I'm shocked, really shocked, at some people's responses. I think you're absolutely right to reserve the guest room for your mom.

Ditto.

 

[Darcy03231]

My ex husband shared with his younger brother from the time they were 10 and 2 until they were 26 and 18, so yes, I can see a teenager sharing a room with a grade-school age sibling.

I'm shocked, really shocked, at some people's responses. I think you're absolutely right to reserve the guest room for your mom.

I agree! You should continue to reserve the room for you mom. My sister and I shared a room until we both moved out of our parent's home - and it was much smaller than what you've described your daughters' room to be. While we had our moments, we're now 45 & 42 and very close to each other. I think trying to turn the alcove area into a private space for her is a great idea! Also, as they get older your younger child will not want or need the larger toys and at that time you might be able to divide the room more evenly between them with some type of a divider/screen/curtain.

 

[va32h]

OP - Can you post a picture of it and possibly post dimensions?

I'm an interior designer. Might be able to give you a few suggestions on space planning.

It has sort of odd dimensions, but I'll try to explain. The main room is 14ft X 16ft, your standard box.

The alcove is approx. 8ft wide, and 14ft long, but on the 14ft side, it is not a solid stretch of wall. It's 3ft of wall, 8ft of doorway, 3ft of wall. On the opposite side of the room, it's 3ft of wall, 8ft of closet w/bifold doors and 3ft of wall.

Does that make sense? The twin mattress is slightly over three feet wide, and that's just the mattress, without the actual bed frame, which is well over three feet. So it block the closet door and part of the doorway.

The rooms need to accommodate a full size bed, two dressers (one with a mounted mirror), two nightstands, a bookshelf, a desk with computer & accessories (which is for all the kids to use), a play kitchen, kid size table and chairs, a hamster habitat, and just about every Fisher Price toy ever made.

 

[Merriwind]

I think you are very generous and gracious--hooray for you!

If a loft bed will fit in your spacde, they are so cool! Sophomore year in college, my dad and roommate's dad built us loft beds. (Sophomore dorms were 10x12 doubles~!) Our room was the envy of the hall. We just had to watch we didn't sit up too fast. AFter a couple of bumps on the forehead, it was all good.

Good luck to you!

 

[Doesney]

I think you build the older dd a "tween" apartement over the garage. You do not wnat to traumatize her any further then she already is. My goodness YOU made her share a room with her sister. Bad mom, bad bad mom

 

[Mickey'sMainMami]

It seems to me that you have alot of extra stuff that you could possibly move elsewhere. I too think if you got one of those loft beds, you could move the desk under there and save some room. Also use a divider curtain or something so the oldest has some privacy.

I know and totally understand you wanting to have a room for your mom, is there a way that you could move the play kitchen and some of the younger one's toys in there in a corner or so? Your youngest could go in there and play when grandmom isn't staying with you, and then when she is staying with you, you could move them into the corner of the living room, if it's only for a few months. I think decluttering is the best, especially if you have an extra room that is only used a few months out of the year.

.

 

[Mickey'sMainMami]

Another idea that I thought of that can really help is hanging shelves on the wall for books and stuffed animals. We have a 2bedroom home and our spare room is really small, then again so is the master bedroom. I had a standing bookshelf that took up a lot of room, so my dad came up with the idea to put up shelves for us instead. We went to Lowes and they had precut shelves in different widths and legnths and curved pieces to hold them up. All we had to do was paint and install. Let me tell you how much bigger the room is now! It's amazing how much more floor space there is. Good luck!