Convincing the 'non disney lover' of the family!

[Carolynleanne]

Okay, I KNOW there must be others facing the same situation as us!

We returned two months ago from our most recent Disney trip and had a wonderful time. We always travel with my parents, my brothers and then my husband and two little boys.

We are now looking towards our trip NEXT year and have been leaning towards bumping our trip up to early next year so that we can buy a house and go for a third child after. But Grandpa says it's TOO soon and he doesn't want to go.

I know what you're thinking. Go without grandpa right? But if Grandpa doesn't go, Grandma who LOVES Disney won't go either. Suddenly the trip goes down to just my husband, myself and the boys. It'd still be fun, but because we usually split a VRBO rental it totally changes our plans around.

I feel like we just need to convince Grandpa to come along, but I'm not sure how. I understand that he doesn't share the Disney love like the rest of us... but him not going would totally change the dynamic of our trip. My husband may not even want to go if he doesn't!

 

[SMD]

You can't convince someone to like something they've tried and don't want to repeat. Maybe it's too soon since you just got back. And it seems a little selfish to complain about how someone deciding not to take a trip they don't want to take will impact your VRBO rental. I'd suggest budgeting a trip for your family, and if they decide to join when they trip is closer they can pick what's feasible for them.

My mother is much more traveled than my father, and therefore doesn't like to take as many trips or doesn't want to go back to places she visited before they met. I used to worry that he was letting him hold her back, but I've realized that he's an adult. I will occasionally bring up the idea of us taking a trip without her but he's always declined. Sometimes I go alone, and it's his choice to stay home. I'm never going to change his mind, that's just how their relationship works, I guess.

 

[starshine514]

If he doesn't want to go, he doesn't want to go. It's not fun to take along someone who doesn't want to be there. You said your husband might not want to go if grandpa doesn't and that grandma also won't go without grandpa. Are you sure of this? Is grandma healthy enough that maybe just you and she could take the kids? I would scrap the VRBO idea entirely and just stay at one of the motels across the street. My sister and I have gone with just us and my girls before, stayed at the Hojo and had an excellent time. I would plan a trip with a smaller group (who does want to go) and switch to a regular motel, rather than a VRBO home. It will be different than your previous trips, but I'll bet you'll have a great time with just those who really want to be there!

 

[Dot2Vegas]

Would Grandpa be content hanging at the rental and just relaxing? Maybe only visiting the parks for a portion of the time? My mom wants to come to Disneyland with us some time but is not a big fan. She's already said that she will spend a good chunk of time in the room relaxing, if she ever decides to join us.
That being said, if it were me, I would probably change the budget and stay somewhere that we can afford without another family member's help. Bringing someone who does not want to go could really put a damper on things. It could drag the mood down for the entire group. And I know I would feel a bit guilty about someone in my group not having fun.
I don't think you can sway him or anyone for that matter. If Disneyland isn't your thing, then it is not your thing. The crowds, the prices, the lines...all things that we put up with because we love Disneyland. Those same things are not nearly as acceptable when you don't love it!

 

[Carolynleanne]

I think calling me selfish is a little harsh... he still wants us to do a trip all together, but he'd prefer we tote our 1 & 2 year old on a 6 hour flight to Hawaii instead (which we did a year ago.) That's miserable for us, since once we get there we spend the entire time chasing our kids around instead of relaxing like he gets to do. They want us to be with them as much as we want them to be with us. We ALWAYS split accommodations so that we can get a much bigger place to stay. I have nothing against hotels

I totally get that this may not be his thing, and perhaps pp is right in saying we just go without him and skip the VRBO.

 

[sheetz]

Well then maybe you can compromise a little and have a split vacation--part Disney and part somewhere else. How about Las Vegas?

 

[SweetAlex]

If you and your little family (kids and dh) want to go to Disney, then can you not go without them? I can't imagine going with my parents every single time... lol, you are brave (and my DH would likely divorce me if I insisted on it... ) Or, like another poster said, wait a few more months as you only just went a little while ago and bring it up again. By then, he might be more inclined to go, since it won't feel like he was just there.

It's great that you are so close with your family (or your dh's family) but it gets tough when you ALWAYS go with them and then certain expectations are laid and feelings get hurt when things don't go as expected. Maybe a holiday apart wouldn't be such a bad thing to do every once in a while...

 

[Carolynleanne]

If you and your little family (kids and dh) want to go to Disney, then can you not go without them? I can't imagine going with my parents every single time... lol, you are brave (and my DH would likely divorce me if I insisted on it... ) Or, like another poster said, wait a few more months as you only just went a little while ago and bring it up again. By then, he might be more inclined to go, since it won't feel like he was just there.

It's great that you are so close with your family (or your dh's family) but it gets tough when you ALWAYS go with them and then certain expectations are laid and feelings get hurt when things don't go as expected. Maybe a holiday apart wouldn't be such a bad thing to do every once in a while...

Yes. TOTALLY! I think that's what it is. We ALWAYS vacation with them. That's the norm. They go on additional trips once or twice a year without us since they have more money... so when we DO go on ours once every year or two they always join. But our trip always ends up being Disneyland. It's close, it's cheaper than most other places and ours kid LOVE it.

I guess I'll look into either going without them or trying to find another location for a vacation that doesn't require a long flight and doesn't cost much. But it'd be sad, cause that'd mean no Disney for 2+ years

 

[sweethannah]

DH is not really into Disney either and after our last trip ( the 3rd in 5 years or so ) he says he is pretty much done for awhile. I can understand his pov and his biggest complaint is that the pace is too rushed and wants to relax more. We've talked it over and if we do go again he would like to spend more time at the hotel relaxing so a couple of down days for him and if needs be DD10 and I can go to the Parks for a few hours on our own. That being said he is 33% of our vacation input and after 3 trips perhaps it's time DH got his way and we did a simple week on the beach in Mexico.

What is your Dad's primary reasons for not wanting to go and perhaps they can be addressed. Is it the pace or simply that you guys have obviously been a lot and he is bored.
If you guys still love Disneyland it might be time to try a solo trip or if you would rather travel as a family try a completely different destination this time. Check out some of the VRBO rentals in Waikiki or Maui, lots of them look amazing! You can sometimes luck out and get good flights with Westjet or if you'd rather, PVR has some reasonable and fun all inclusives and you can fly out of Abbotsford lol!

 

[YukonMommy]

I get it. We travel with my Mom ALL THE TIME! She is part of our family and splitting costs or not it will be weird when we ever go without her! We are in the same dilemma Disney or Hawaii.....my Mom and hubby really want Hawaii and I of course want Disney (kids do not get a vote although I am pretty sure they would vote with me!!)

Part of the reason is my Mom (who is a widow) wants to experience Hawaii with her grandkids while she is still physically able to play, splash, etc with them. At first I was really sad about the thought of no Disney for 2 years. We try to get out once a year (we live in very Northern Canada and it is expensive to fly out of) and then I thought, give your head a shake woman.... a vacay is a vacay and we are lucky enough to be able to go on one whether it be Hawaii or Disney!

So I guess I do not have your answer but wanted to let you know I understand all about the pull of Disney!!

 

[Carolynleanne]

I get it. We travel with my Mom ALL THE TIME! She is part of our family and splitting costs or not it will be weird when we ever go without her! We are in the same dilemma Disney or Hawaii.....my Mom and hubby really want Hawaii and I of course want Disney (kids do not get a vote although I am pretty sure they would vote with me!!)

Part of the reason is my Mom (who is a widow) wants to experience Hawaii with her grandkids while she is still physically able to play, splash, etc with them. At first I was really sad about the thought of no Disney for 2 years. We try to get out once a year (we live in very Northern Canada and it is expensive to fly out of) and then I thought, give your head a shake woman.... a vacay is a vacay and we are lucky enough to be able to go on one whether it be Hawaii or Disney!

So I guess I do not have your answer but wanted to let you know I understand all about the pull of Disney!!

Thank you!!! Yep. It's pretty much Hawaii (grandpa) vs Disney (me) haha. We LOVE Hawaii. We even got MARRIED in Hawaii! But we didn't enjoy our trip there with kids cause we feel like Hawaii is somewhere you go to lay on the beach or hang out in the pool. We both had MAYBE an hour our entire trip to do that and it was only because my husband and I switched off. At Disney the kids are SO entertained that they are a breeze to take care of! When they get exhausted, they just pass out in their stroller haha.

 

[SweetAlex]

Thank you!!! Yep. It's pretty much Hawaii (grandpa) vs Disney (me) haha. We LOVE Hawaii. We even got MARRIED in Hawaii! But we didn't enjoy our trip there with kids cause we feel like Hawaii is somewhere you go to lay on the beach or hang out in the pool. We both had MAYBE an hour our entire trip to do that and it was only because my husband and I switched off. At Disney the kids are SO entertained that they are a breeze to take care of! When they get exhausted, they just pass out in their stroller haha.

I totally get you. Friends and family can't figure out why we keep returning to Disney rather than hitting Mexico or Hawaii and for us, it's just not as "relaxing" as others think it is when you have two children who would last maybe 3 hours a day at the beach then get bored. For obvious reasons, we don't have that problem at Disney . Plus, dh and I aren't "beach-people" either. We honeymooned at Disney!

 

[Carolynleanne]

I totally get you. Friends and family can't figure out why we keep returning to Disney rather than hitting Mexico or Hawaii and for us, it's just not as "relaxing" as others think it is when you have two children who would last maybe 3 hours a day at the beach then get bored. For obvious reasons, we don't have that problem at Disney . Plus, dh and I aren't "beach-people" either. We honeymooned at Disney!

Whoop whoop! Someone who gets exactly our issue haha. I'm sure the grandparents like having the kids around on their relaxing beach vacation, but when they aren't sharing any of the responsibility it's WAY different. They just see the cute moments

 

[hjgaus]

Thank you!!! Yep. It's pretty much Hawaii (grandpa) vs Disney (me) haha. We LOVE Hawaii. We even got MARRIED in Hawaii! But we didn't enjoy our trip there with kids cause we feel like Hawaii is somewhere you go to lay on the beach or hang out in the pool. We both had MAYBE an hour our entire trip to do that and it was only because my husband and I switched off. At Disney the kids are SO entertained that they are a breeze to take care of! When they get exhausted, they just pass out in their stroller haha.

Have you thought of giving Disney's Aulani Resort a try?
You can keep the kids occupied @ Auntie's kids club house (never been inside but hear it's great for the kids) plus enjoy a very mellowed out beach to lay out without worrying too much about the kids! There NOW is an adults ONLY poolside for you OR your parents as well!
Perhaps EVERYONE can relax and enjoy themselves!!!

 

[Carolynleanne]

Have you thought of giving Disney's Aulani Resort a try?
You can keep the kids occupied @ Auntie's kids club house (never been inside but hear it's great for the kids) plus enjoy a very mellowed out beach to lay out without worrying too much about the kids! There NOW is an adults ONLY poolside for you OR your parents as well!
Perhaps EVERYONE can relax and enjoy themselves!!!

You know what? I was JUST thinking about that! That COULD be a good compromise... though it would still involve one miserable 6 hour flight haha. We couldn't afford to stay on our own, but if my parents wanted to use their time share we could maybe split that cost.

 

[ClosetDisneyJunkie]

Aulani sounds like a very nice compromise!!

Short of that I was just going to mention that my dad really gets sick of Disney. Any time we head down there with my folks we plan at last one beach day and one other day doing something else completely unrelated to Disney (dad likes golf so we go golfing). It's a little more palatable for him if it's not all Disney all the time. Probably an obvious thought, but just thought I'd mention it.

 

[Carolynleanne]

Aulani sounds like a very nice compromise!!

Short of that I was just going to mention that my dad really gets sick of Disney. Any time we head down there with my folks we plan at last one beach day and one other day doing something else completely unrelated to Disney (dad likes golf so we go golfing). It's a little more palatable for him if it's not all Disney all the time. Probably an obvious thought, but just thought I'd mention it.

Totally. We usually do at least two days 'off' of the parks for non disney activities.
PS - My mom just told me she'd leave my dad at home and come with us if need be

 

[Renae De Liz]

Ugh what a predicament! I so wish the grandma would just go with you and the kids! Also, absolutely no offense to the grandpa intended, I am shocked he wouldn't care more about how much his wife, daughter, and grandkids would enjoy DL, and so put their happiness first.

In your situation, I would choose to do whatever I felt would build the best memories for my children, followed by the best memories for my husband and I. I feel like starting a tradition of you going without grandpa would be the best thing to do if going to Disneyland is important to you in your heart, because this seems to be an issue that will return every time you want to go to DL with your parents. Then I would find other ways to incorporate time with the grandparents outside of DL time. Hopefully grandma will choose to go with you!

Anyway, good luck with your decision! A long time ago I tried to get friend to enjoy DL with my family, and they would not have any of it. They even called it "THE WAL-MART OF THEME PARKS" Needless to say we went without them and never regretted it, haha.

 

[JeriLee]

Memories… Memories that will last the lifetime of your boys and yourself – that is what you should tell your dad…

My dad just passed away, my daughter can no longer create memories with her grandfather and the ones she has are priceless.

Your dad is *very* fortunate he is healthy enough to create memories with his grand kids…

This is what you need to help him understand.

 

[Geemo]

Totally. We usually do at least two days 'off' of the parks for non disney activities.
PS - My mom just told me she'd leave my dad at home and come with us if need be

I'm glad your mom will go solo with you.

You just might find that with time your dad may change his mind.

Plan your trip and have a great time.

Geemo