Controversial...

[anna08]

This is totally NOT my usual persona, but I have had thoughts about adding on without telling my spouse ahead of time. The current incentives with lowered price are SOO tempting, and I have the money available. Obviously I would have to confess when the contract comes to sign, and would have to use *ahem* strong persuasion to get him to sign. Anyone ever done such a thing? I think DVC has made me crazy.....

 

[maburke]

This is totally NOT my usual persona, but I have had thoughts about adding on without telling my spouse ahead of time. The current incentives with lowered price are SOO tempting, and I have the money available. Obviously I would have to confess when the contract comes to sign, and would have to use *ahem* strong persuasion to get him to sign. Anyone ever done such a thing? I think DVC has made me crazy.....

It completely depends on your relationship. I know that I am more into DVC than my husband, but if I catch him at the right time, with the right persuasive arguments, he has agreed to add-ons. But we have mixed funds in our household -- everything belongs to us both, so there is no such thing as "I have the money available." If you do have money of your own, I guess you could do it in only your name, except for its being an add-on.

It just depends on how financial decisions work in your house. If you know he would be actively opposed to it, I wouldn't do it. It should bring you pleasure, not marital strife.

 

[BirdsOfPreyDave]

I won't presume to give you marital advise, but will share a personal experience. I found an add-on contract on the Timeshare Store listing about six months ago that was the perfect contract we'd been looking for -- at the resort we like, close to the number of points we wanted, fair price, and lots of banked points.

The week before, we'd had the good ol' "you've got to stop spending money like there's no tomorrow" conversation... well, I call it a conversation, but that's cleaning it up a bit. I was certain that bringing up the add-on contract would do nothing more but re-spark that topic. I was very, very tempted to just call and start the purchase on my own.

Instead, I printed it out and braved the conversation. By the end of the night, I was no longer the one who was most excited about making the purchase. We called that very evening to start the process.

 

[kristenrice]

I have thought the same thing!

DH is the "reluctant tag along" on our Disney trips. He is not really into WDW and only agrees to go "for the kids." An add-on to him is just a waste of money, but that is because he has no desire to go anyways. (Although he never seems to complain once we get there!) We have already agreed that it is fine for me to go with the kids and he doesn't have to come along if he doesn't want to. (This is because he goes hunting every year for at least a week while I stay home with the kiddos.) I would love to be able to take annual trips, with DH coming along on every third trip. I would like to take the girls in the early summer (flying) and then do a spring break trip (driving) with DH. Unfortunately, our 100 point contract can only be stretched so far. While I do not mind the studios, my main reason for buying DVC is so we could have 1BR (or even 2BR on occasion) villas. Another 25-50 points would go a long way!

Now, if I could just have another one of those good days at the casino...(DH won $12,000 the same day that I won $3500 and that's how I got the DVC in the first place) If I won $3000 again, my first call would be to my guide to add on 25 points at AKV! I'd tell DH that he couldn't go hunting until he signed the papers.

We are leaving in three weeks for our next trip. This will be DH's first stay at the AKV and I am hoping that he softens a little. I am hoping that we land a savanna view (had to book value to save points for next year with my parents) and I booked us on the Wanyama Safari. I'm even upgrading our flight to business class. I really want this to be a great experience for DH so that perhaps he will be more excited about vacations.

One thing in my favor is that DH is suddenly taking an interest in HHI. Of course, he has ulterior motives...he found a hunting plantation about 1 hour away. Now, HE is trying to convince ME to go to HHI in the early fall. If I were able to acquire the funds for an add-on, HHI would be my "bait". I doubt we'd actually add-on there, at least not without trying it first, but it might help me get another 25 at AKV.

 

[Crystal_27]

In my marriage, I could never imagine undertaking such a large purchase as DVC without DH's full blessing and knowledge. That said, although I handle the family's household finances, we typically tell each other when we've spent over $50 on a particular transaction (except for groceries, etc.) so there has always been "full disclosure" from very early on in our marriage. It works for us. However, only you know your DH and the dynamics of your marriage. If you think it better to go ahead and add-on points and spring it on him, that's totally your call.

Either way, best of luck to you!! I just bought in March and I'm already battling add-on-itis. It's soooo temping to want more points.

Check back in with us and let us know what happens!!

 

[fers31]

The fact that you're making a real estate purchase behind your husband's back is mindblowing. Maybe I have a higher moral stance against this because I'm a guy.

 

[Starr W.]

The fact that you're making a real estate purchase behind your husband's back is mindblowing. Maybe I have a higher moral stance against this because I'm a guy.

Hey I'm a girl and I agree with you.

DH and I don't roll that way, we discuss all monetary issues(2 MBA's in the house) to the nth degree.

 

[I'mNoPrince]

Just go ahead and do it . it's only money and heck you don't even have to tell him when it comes in. Like you never signed his name to anything else.

Your adding on not buying in Do you tell him or does he tell you everything you guys buy . If it's a dollar value you agree on to let the other know then fine but what thehell. There are bigger things to worrry about now a days then an add-on.

 

[whitfamily]

I would go apoplectic. My mother-in-law goes off a drops $1K+ on a new lap top without telling her the FIL and I am baffled. I would never do that to me DW and if she did it to my trust in her would go out the window.

I think you should tell him and try to persuade him. However money is set up matters little as every undertaking should be a 50/50 venture. If he is unreasonable and won't at least have the conversation then there are other issues at play.

At least this is how I would view my marraige and I think my DW would agree. Everyone has different arrangements though on how such decisions are made, so at the end of the day only you can answer your own question.

 

[Duckfan-in-Chicago]

You could do like my mother does when she buys something new and my father calls her on it.

Oh these old points? I've had had them for years.

 

[starbox]

As a general rule, if I feel tempted to be sneaky or hide something I take that as a sign that Jimminy Cricket is trying really hard to tell me not to do it.

I'd have the discussion before getting the papers sent - even if it's your money, I think it just feels more respectful.

 

[ssawka]

We are leaving in three weeks for our next trip. This will be DH's first stay at the AKV and I am hoping that he softens a little. I am hoping that we land a savanna view (had to book value to save points for next year with my parents) and I booked us on the Wanyama Safari.

Make sure DH leaves his guns at home or he may want to go hunting from your balcony.

 

[ssawka]

I think it really depends on how you handle finances in your house. If you have separate accounts, as in "my money" and "your money", then I see no problem with it. If however you pool your funds, then I would be totally P!$$ed if DW did this to me.

 

[bobbiwoz]

Marriages are different, we're going on 41 years. I wouldn't buy it without at least talking about the purchase over again.

It is also true that over these years there have been very few things that either of us wanted that we haven't gotten eventually even if one wasn't as enthused about the purchase. DH likes more expensive vacations than I do and we've had our share of them.

Bobbi

 

[Brian Noble]

It completely depends on your relationship.

Yep.

In our marriage, we each have individual discretion to make purchases that cost less than $X. Things that cost more than $X are discussed first. $X is a pretty reasonable number, but even a small DVC contract costs more than $X.

But, we only have "our" money, not "yours" and "mine". If you have some money that is "yours", then it might be a different story.

 

[BroganMc]

This is totally NOT my usual persona, but I have had thoughts about adding on without telling my spouse ahead of time. The current incentives with lowered price are SOO tempting, and I have the money available. Obviously I would have to confess when the contract comes to sign, and would have to use *ahem* strong persuasion to get him to sign. Anyone ever done such a thing? I think DVC has made me crazy.....

Like everyone else has said, it depends how you've worked out your finances. But even then, if you intend to put his name on the contract you should get his verbal ok first. It's only fair and a lot more respectful.

Isn't one of the main reasons people fight over money because one has felt left out of the decision-making process?

What you could do is get all the information together and then present it to him. There's no committment until money has been transacted.

 

[gkrykewy]

You need to tell your husband, unless you've got so much "money available" that this is a drop in the bucket.

 

[rutgers1]

For most people, this is not a drop in a bucket. If it is for you, then it could be justified as a "present" for the family. However, if my wife did that, I would be very upset. Anything costing in the thousands is something that should be discussed, at least in our household.

The fact that you are posting the question here tells me that you think that it is wrong and are looking for someone else to help you justify it. That tells me that you shouldn't do this. Whenever I get that "Perhaps I shouldn't do this feeling," the feeling is right.

 

[5forDiz]

Like everyone else has said, it depends how you've worked out your finances. But even then, if you intend to put his name on the contract you should get his verbal ok first. It's only fair and a lot more respectful.

Isn't one of the main reasons people fight over money because one has felt left out of the decision-making process?

What you could do is get all the information together and then present it to him. There's no committment until money has been transacted.

Good post & ita especially regarding respectfulness

 

[whitfamily]

Well, depending on what state you live in it doesn;t matter if his name is/isnt on the contract-- he is responsible.