Controlling Peope

[mojo55000]

Flexibility includes maturity. Usually most learn that when we are kids... we learn to lead and follow, we learn to play well together and collaborate with each other.

 

[scrapquitler]

My Grandmother was a control freak, and my MIL is as well. I've noticed over the years that I have the tendency to go in that direction myself, and I have to make a HUGE effort to keep myself in line and squash that control freak trying to escape from inside me.

 

[DMRick]

I know many people who like to control situations, and I happen to think that can be a good thing. It's controlling other people that I don't care for. I agree with you..it's more manipulative that I think is a bad thing. There are some people that rule their family and friends by manipulating them (and some times the family doesn't even know it)..that's the type of people I stay away from. Some people are master manipulators.

I have also found that people who are manipulators (I like that much better than controllers) think that they are perfect, and it's the family members and friends that have the problems. They just don't see they often cause the problems. I know someone that doesn't see all of her kids or grands anymore, but doesn't get that they don't like being manipulated, and that's why they stay away. Her son, that she does see, is major manipulated by her, but he doesn't realize it, so he's still in her life. She tries to also have full control of his spouse, and the spouse really doesn't like it, so it causes problems in their marriage.

To me, what you are describing is more along the lines of, if you want something down right, do it yourself LOL. The kind of controlling you describe is good controlling in my eyes.

I do a ton of volunteer work but am in charge of whatever it is I am doing.
I work for a small company where I am in charge of my office and the surrounding environment.
I have 2 kids and a DH who will all tell you that when Momma is happy everyone is happy.

We have a friend who we spent some extra time with recently and DH came to see what I have always known, she is high maintenance, manipulative, controlling and basically a 45 year old brat. He said to me, that while my family teases me about my issues the one thing they all know is that I don't demand they all sort me out, I sort out my own issues and take care of my needs myself.

I think most people have control issues of some sort, its how they manage them and what they do with those tendencies that make the difference. What the majority of you have descibed is manipulative people. I guess manipulative and controlling can be one in the same but I tend to view them very differently.

 

[JulielovesDisney]

My former college roommate/ex-best friend was a controller. She controls every aspect of her BF's life. And she tried to control every aspect of my life as well. She even tried to control/change the way I feel about my own BF. I stood up to her, and she resented me for it and refused to talk to me when we were in our room together. Eventually she moved into her BF's room, who was rooming with my BF, and tried to control that situation too.

Long story short, it was a huge disaster and we are no longer friends. I am much better off though!

 

[C.Ann]

My former college roommate/ex-best friend was a controller. She controls every aspect of her BF's life. And she tried to control every aspect of my life as well. She even tried to control/change the way I feel about my own BF. I stood up to her, and she resented me for it and refused to talk to me when we were in our room together. Eventually she moved into her BF's room, who was rooming with my BF, and tried to control that situation too.

Long story short, it was a huge disaster and we are no longer friends. I am much better off though!

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This is exactly the type of controlling I was speaking of.. Trying to control "people" and trying to control your "environment" are two very different things..

Sounds like you made a very good choice.. It's great - isn't it?