Confronted the noisy neighbors tonight...

[MouseJunkie]

Our floors are all carpeted except for the obvious the kitchen and bathroom.

 

[Narnian_Princess]

We've had all kinds upstairs. We've had kids that run all over, and that was bearable until we started hearing the kids throwing tantrums every morning over a woman's voice yelling "TAKE YOUR MEDICINE!!" We've had people that run their dishwasher and vacuum cleaner at 1am, and blare their music at the same time. Another tenant... I wasn't ever sure what the noises were. One time it sounded like an explosion, another time it sounded like they were torturing an elephant or something because there were huge thumps and squealing noises. Another tenant kept on doing construction or something; we'd hear drill noises at all hours. But by far the weirdest... One set of tenants I could ALWAYS hear them use the bathroom.

 

[DMickey28]

I just wanted to say I feel your pain.

We have lived here for 6 months. The people upstairs moved in about a month ago. It's a mother and a 8ish year old boy. Their door and staircase is right next to DS's room and his crib. I can hear the squeak of their front door over the baby monitor. Obviously that's more of a apartment problem than them. However they SLAM the door ... I mean SLAM, shakes the windows and closet doors in my DS's room. The boy runs up and down the apartment all night as well. He is up at 6:30 in the morning EVERY morning and jumping all around. The last two Sunday mornings he has woken us up at 7am. Now with a new baby, we take turns sleeping in on the weekends. It's not a happy day when the person who gets to sleep in gets woken up by the neighbors.

I KNOW they have carpet because I watched the guys install it before they moved in. However it sounds like he plays jax on a cement floor sometimes.

He is home from school at 2:30 and in and out all day slamming the door. My DS naps in the afternoon and gets woken up by it all the time.

Anyway ... I feel for you. I hope it works out.

 

[Mish19]

I know what you are going through, almost all my neighbors are loud. My next door neighbors are the worst - loud music pretty much all day. Once in a while parties where they hop on the fire escape (which is kinda scary), they go away for the night and leave their alarm clock on way before I need to be up, and well other "noises" I won't mention in detail. They seem normal but they are so annoying. It's gotten to the point where I have daydreams of being loud when they are sleeping. I can't wait to re-do my bathroom early in the morning so I can wake them up with noise.

 

[Lynn CC]

It is very annoying when you have to put up with that, my son lives on the middle floor of a 3 floor apartment in Boston and the last tenant above him used to play music that was unbearably loud for him while he was trying to study. He went up and told him. He was nice and bought an ipod! With kids there isn't really much you can do, they are so active. All I can think of is investing in those Bose noise canceling headphones. He used to wear them in his dorm when he was a freshman and he says they really work.
You just never know who your going to get as neighbors these days.

 

[poohandwendy]

That is very possible. I just wonder if soundproofing really works though. It'd be worth a try. I still plan on talking to the office to see what my options are. I'll do that when I go to pay my rent.

Soundproofing really does work.
I have known people who literally used egg crate foam to sound proof their bedroom in an apt and it was amazing, the difference. Sound travels super easy through the weirdest places too, like the vents and electrical outlets.

It doesn't matter if your neighbor has carpeting if the floors are not insulated in any way. There is even a huge difference between cheap carpet and the good stuff, when it comes to sound deadening. It's pretty common for apts to be built as cheap as possible and many times that means cheap materials, no insulation, etc.

 

[famofsix]

If you can get out of the lease, I would move.

 

[Sleepy]

I have not read the entire thread, but from experience, neighbors like that will not change no matter how nice you are in your request for quiet. My mother lives in a downstairs apartment and her problem is the neighbor on the other side of the wall (also in a downstairs unit). The stereo starts between 7 and 8 pm and lasts until most nights 1am. When visiting this past summer, even I asked them to please turn down the base (one time they tried to open the door and the frame came down with the chain lock...lol). It is not the volume of the music. It is the base being wide open. JUst like my experiences with apts, it is written in the lease (usually) that there is a something about noise being unacceptable if it can be heard by neighbors. Might as well just put in the lease "NOISE- blah blah, don't bother us at the office with your complaints. WE DON'T CARE!" Because, that is their response with all apt complexes. They write in a lease about breaking a contract of you are too noisy and they tell you if someone else is too noisy to let them know in the office, because it is unacceptable and grounds for eviction as written in the contract, yet when you continually complain, eventually they tell you to handle it with the police, then you bother the police on a daily basis (literally) and they tell you to take it up with the apt office. THey only care about getting the rent money.

So, I got tired of this with my own apt dealing years ago. My problem was people sitting out on the parking lot with car stereos. The apt complex refused to do something about it and I told them they broke my lease by not stopping the noise. I moved out at 7 months into my 1 year lease.

My mother on the other hand has not gone to that length yet. She bangs when they get loud. Usually they turn it down, but once, when they had a party, she banged and she heard them say "Talk louder and turn up the base". Why do people like that rent an apt rather than a house? Why do people who allow their kids to stomp and jump off furniture rent an apt that is NOT on ground floor? They are just plain rude.

 

[justhat]

I already posted, but I want to add that it is definitely not just downstairs residents who hear all the noise. The loud Bette Midler playing neighbor I described in my earlier post lived below us.

And I also agree that with what seems loud to you really might be normal if you were in their apt. Our new downstairs neighbors are very nice, quiet people, but I hear them pretty much every night. Not only do I hear their tv or radio, but I can also hear them talking and have even heard them sneezing. There's only 2 of them and they are not a loud couple so I know that when I hear them talking that they're using normal voices and not being especially loud, but it's just poorly insulated here.

And we have 2 floors within our own home. When my husband is upstairs walking around I feel like he's stomping. And my son, though he's only 15 months, well, his regular walk is like a controlled falling run, so I'm sure he sounds loud to our neighbors. Of course, he's in bed by 7pm everynight and they don't get home till at least 6pm at the earliest, so not a big deal.

But we're just lucky that it works out like that, that my kids are active while they're at work and that they work late enough to not be disturbed. But when my daughter's home from preschool in the afternoons, my kids run around and chase each other all the time. I think I said already that I take them outside everyday that the weather permits, and my daughter gets recess time at school, but they love to chase each other. And my son often thinks he's a bigger boy than he is so he'll carry heavy toys and then drop them, making a ton of noise.

With that said, after dinner we have quiet time before bed so there's typically not any running around going on. That's as much for my own sake as the neighbors though, because they would be impossible to get to bed if I let them run wild immediately before.

 

[rgf207]

Call the police. The police will show up and ask them to keep it down. It is most likely violating a noise ordinance in your apt building. After a few times they might be issued a citation.

 

[momof2inPA]

Call the police. The police will show up and ask them to keep it down. It is most likely violating a noise ordinance in your apt building. After a few times they might be issued a citation.

What would you tell the police? A three year old is running around in his family's apartment upstair?

I don't think this apartment (and maybe any apartment) is right for the OP. He should move, maybe to a retirement community.

 

[MouseJunkie]

What would you tell the police? A three year old is running around in his family's apartment upstair?

I don't think this apartment (and maybe any apartment) is right for the OP. He should move, maybe to a retirement community.

Btw I'm a she and I'm only 34. I'm not unreasonable, but you're more than welcome to come over and have a listen. Yes, it may not be as loud up there, but I can't imagine if you heard the noise I do every evening you'd be the least bit happy about it either. Honestly, I found the comment about the retirement community a little rude too!

This is why I haven't called the police. It'd be different if they were playing loud music every night until 3am. I can't exactly disturb them because of a 3 year old. They've got more important things to deal with.

Well...any effort at all on their part has been very short lived. I've been inside 20 minutes and it's been extremely loud on at least 3 occasions. We're back to running full speed ahead along with stomping and up and down stairs louder than usual. You know when the parents walk around I rarely hear them. You know when I was a kid if I'd run in the house, I'd have been in big trouble. Why I think that's some what old school, sometimes I wish people still followed that rule.

I can't remember if I posted this or not, but I did find out Elvis does suffer a little separation anxiety in the morning and barks for a short while. I spoke to one of my nice neighbors who's home most days. I've been leaving the tv on for him and tonight I went and bought him a Kong. My plan is to set it out a few minutes before I leave and then when I come home offer him a treat. I'm trying to make my coming and going a happier time for him. I don't normally make a big deal out of my leaving. I usually just look at him and say, "Be good hairy. I'll see you later." and that's it. So, I figure if I just sneak out the Kong a few minutes before I leave and act like it's all not big deal, he won't bark at all. I don't hear him when I leave or as I'm walking out to my truck, but apparently he starts barking. I've been told it's not all the time and that he usually settles down though.

So, see at least I make an effort to fix the problem .

I'll be paying my rent tomorrow after work and plan on having the what are options discussion then.

Thanks everybody for all the help and suggestions. This has been rather trying.

 

[justhat]

I think it might be that kids are just be nature louder and that's probably why you hear them, not the adults. Like I said earlier, my son is by far the loudest walker in our family and he's only 24 pounds! Since he learned to walk it's always looked like a controlled fall, so each step is very heavy. And he's always in a rush for whatever reason. My daughter wasn't like that as a baby and I haven't found a solution yet. He's not running cause he can't, but it's a fast, crazy walk.

 

[jenrose66]

Well...any effort at all on their part has been very short lived. I've been inside 20 minutes and it's been extremely loud on at least 3 occasions. We're back to running full speed ahead along with stomping and up and down stairs louder than usual. You know when the parents walk around I rarely hear them. You know when I was a kid if I'd run in the house, I'd have been in big trouble. Why I think that's some what old school, sometimes I wish people still followed that rule.

When I first read your thread I did feel sorry for you, but now I think you may be unreasonable. Toddlers run, that's what they do. The child you are talking about is 3, not 7 or 8. Toddlers run and stomp, there is nothing quiet about them. I have a 15 month old and he runs and stomps all the time. Granted I don't live in an apt, but not everyone is able to afford a home.

These people are just trying to raise their kids, if you can't deal with the sounds of a little toddler, just being a toddler you need to find an apt that doesn't rent to families.

 

[MouseJunkie]

When I first read your thread I did feel sorry for you, but now I think you may be unreasonable. Toddlers run, that's what they do. The child you are talking about is 3, not 7 or 8. Toddlers run and stomp, there is nothing quiet about them. I have a 15 month old and he runs and stomps all the time. Granted I don't live in an apt, but not everyone is able to afford a home.

These people are just trying to raise their kids, if you can't deal with the sounds of a little toddler, just being a toddler you need to find an apt that doesn't rent to families.

Yeah, when it goes on till midnight it's a problem. When it wakes me up in the morning it's a problem. When it's distressing on my dog it's a problem. Sorry, I don't see how I'm unreasonable for wanting peace and quiet in my apartment. Yes a 3 year old can be taught to not run wild at all hours of the day, night. Are they high energy? Yes, but does it have to be allowed all the time? No.

If you lived here believe me you would probably have the same beef I do. They should be downstairs. Basically, what I need is not to live below a young family. I mean honestly why should I have to endur all this noise just because he's three. Like I said I think there are things a parent can be doing to make sure this doesn't go on ALL night! I really don't see how that makes me unreasonable. Sorry! Also I never said I expect complete silence. Don't make me the bad guy here, because I'm really not. The whole thing is just unnerving.

 

[poohandwendy]

Sorry, I don't see how I'm unreasonable for wanting peace and quiet in my apartment.

This is where it goes back to how the apartment was built and not necessarily a problem with the neighbors.

What you are being disturbed by are typical/normal household noises, (children running, going up and down steps, etc) that says that your apartment is not insulated in a decent way for multi-family housing. It's pretty common, because it's cheaper to build that way. You can either try to get your landlord to do something about soundproofing or make sure that the next time you choose an apartment, you find out how soundproof the wall/ceilings are.

It would be one thing if your neighbor was doing something extraordinary to disturb you, doesn't sound like it. Even midnight isn't a really unusual time for a toddler to be up. They don't have school, so that just may be the schedule this child is on, all children are different.

 

[MouseJunkie]

Yes, I agree lack of soundproofing is a huge part of the problem. However, good luck in getting an apartment complex to spend money to fix the problem. Not to mention it's really not that simple a process to soundproof. Like I said part of my irritation is that the parents could care less if there kid is bothering anyone else. Honestly, if I knew in some my way I might be able to do something to make a situation more tolerable for someone else I'd do it. If I was bothering someone else I'd make an effort. I don't think you can blame it all on poor construction.

I wasn't allowed to run, stomp and jump around all the time. Why is it parent's seem so lax on their parenting these days. I don't get that either. I see more parents who let their run wild than ever these days. But that's a whole other post!

I'm just saying you can't blame everything on "Well he's three." and "the insulation sucks!"
I mean what's wrong with teaching a child not to run in the house all the time, jump off furniture. You can teach your child not to do those things. A few no's or stop doing that would go a long way instead of going well he's 3. Let him run around like a maniac if he wants too. My parents taught me. So no...I don't get it,sorry!

Besides I never signed on to live with the wrath of a 3 year old. If I wanted a 3 year old child to contend with day and night, I'd have one. Yeah, really the only option is for me to move to another apartment because no I don't want to live with a noisy 3 year old for 10 more months or more. That doesn't make me a jerk btw.

I don't know why I'm starting to feel like I have to defend my actions anyway. This is about me and what I'm experienceing and what is going to work for me. I live here.

 

[poohandwendy]

I wasn't allowed to run, stomp and jump around all the time. Why is it parent's seem so lax on their parenting these days. I don't get that either. I see more parents who let their run wild than ever these days. But that's a whole other post!

But, like others said...you do not know this kid is being allowed to run with wild abandon, it only sounds that way in your apartment. It's very likely he is just doing what normal toddlers do. That doesn't mean they are lax in their parenting.

Honestly, if I knew in some my way I might be able to do something to make a situation more tolerable for someone else I'd do it. If I was bothering someone else I'd make an effort.

They may really be trying to make an effort, but you can hear every move, so there isn't much that can be done to help. It's completely unreasonable to expect parents to tie a toddler down so they cannot move around the apartment...and some toddlers never just walk, they run.

I don't think you can blame it all on poor construction.

When normal household activity is a major disturbance to the people living below you...the contruction is absolutely to blame.

 

[MouseJunkie]

But, like others said...you do not know this kid is being allowed to run with wild abandon, it only sounds that way in your apartment. It's very likely he is just doing what normal toddlers do. That doesn't mean they are lax in their parenting. They may really be trying to make an effort, but you can hear every move, so there isn't much that can be done to help. It's completely unreasonable to expect parents to tie a toddler down so they cannot move around the apartment...and some toddlers never just walk, they run. When normal household activity is a major disturbance to the people living below you...the contruction is absolutely to blame.

I never said I expected him to be tied down and told never to move. Please don't exaggerate what I've said. Again, I appreciate all the comments, but don't feel like I need to defend my actions. Really, I do realize there are many many things that factor into what's going on. I've taken everything a lot of people said including you and I agree with a lot of it.

What it boils down too is I'm not the right kind of person to live with these conditions no matter who or what is at fault. I can't just suck it up and say oh well...I need to be comfortable in my home too. I never signed on to live with a 3 year old. This precisely why I'm not a parent. I don't have the patience for it. If they were downstairs. I'd be happy as pie. Maybe someone else wouldn't mind being under them, but I do. It's not for me. Like I said I just want to be comfortable too!

Thanks. Really...I do appreciate the comments.

 

[Cool-Beans]

Oh, apartment living. I remember it well.

The kitchen with fruit flies coming out of the sink because of the disgusting mess in the guy upstairs' kitchen. Had to go clean his kitchen.

The drunk who set his house on fire or fell asleep on the common landing. "Just climb over him kids." With the fire - called THAT DAY to up the renter's insurance. Told them about the guy and the fire and would that be a problem, they said the insurance would not only be there but that I was wise to up it.

The lovely sound of "romance" in the next apartment. And the prayers the woman was always saying. Oh God. Oh God. God spent a lot of time there, I guess.

The guy who beat his wife. And the wife coming over when she'd been beaten.

The drug dealer across the hall who wasn't SO bad, but had customers who puked in the hallway (and left other garbage as well) and came banging on his door at all hours screaming his name.

Attempting to exit the apartment only to find a cop right outisde the door with his gun drawn who didn't even look at me, but loudly and quickly commanded me to "Get back in the house!" Half an hour spent fully dressed in the bathtub to avoid being in the line of fire. Idiot robbed the bank down the street, but his girlfriend (the getaway driver) left him while he was inside.

There are just so many joys to apartment living.

OP, I felt your pain! But...

Kids run around and play. They bang. That's what kids do. If you're going to live in an apartment, sometimes you just have to suck it up and make-do. Next time, try to live on the top floor.

If I could work out deals with all of those neighbors to make my life fairly livable (and I did it, even with the drug dealer - got his respect, cooperation and a sort-of friendship)...you can, too!

Grin and bear it and save every cent you can to get the hell out.