Confessions 2010....Spill it...Share it...

[AKL_Megs]

After my mum passed away I developed a sheer hate for people who told me it was "God's plan" or who offered to pray for me. I always smiled and said "thank you" because the people mean well and are trying to offer comfort and I know and appreciate that, but I still hate it.

I'm just curious... We had a close family member pass away last month, and ALL of the immediate family affected commented on how people's "God's Plan" and "We Will Pray" comments stung the most.

If you don't mind sharing here, what IS the right thing to say?

I've always just said NOTHING as opposed to saying the wrong thing. People tell me I am "cold" for not saying anything, but I have always been under the impression that there IS NOTHING to say to make people feel better, so it is just best to tell them how sorry you are and leave it at that.

Is there something people would like to hear?

 

[minkydog]

I'm just curious... We had a close family member pass away last month, and ALL of the immediate family affected commented on how people's "God's Plan" and "We Will Pray" comments stung the most.

If you don't mind sharing here, what IS the right thing to say?

I've always just said NOTHING as opposed to saying the wrong thing. People tell me I am "cold" for not saying anything, but I have always been under the impression that there IS NOTHING to say to make people feel better, so it is just best to tell them how sorry you are and leave it at that.

Is there something people would like to hear?

When my beloved Step-dad died the comments that meant the most to me were along the lines of "I'm sorry Dave died. He was a good man and I know you're gonna miss him terribly" and "Here, I brought some BBQ and a coconut cake."

 

[AKL_Megs]

...and "Here, I brought some BBQ and a coconut cake."

I tend to speak with food... I always cook/bake something! It speaks louder, somehow.

 

[Ember]

I'm just curious... We had a close family member pass away last month, and ALL of the immediate family affected commented on how people's "God's Plan" and "We Will Pray" comments stung the most.

If you don't mind sharing here, what IS the right thing to say?

I've always just said NOTHING as opposed to saying the wrong thing. People tell me I am "cold" for not saying anything, but I have always been under the impression that there IS NOTHING to say to make people feel better, so it is just best to tell them how sorry you are and leave it at that.

Is there something people would like to hear?

I think this could be different for everyone. For the most part I appreciated an "I'm sorry" and then leaving it at that. This let me know the person cared, but didn't assume an intimacy that wasn't there. I also didn't want to cry at work and was thankful to the people who didn't feel the need to press their sympathy on me. I got a lot of cards, too, that I read in my own time, privately. I appreciated those, too.

As I said, I did try to always look at the intent of the person, rather than their words. But there were times I was screaming on the inside and smiling on the outside.

 

[Took]

Okay, true confessions....

I still secretly read Nancy Drew sometimes....

For years, I watched ESPN's Sports Center because I had a crush on Stuart Scott (he hasn't aged very well, I know...)

I hate carrying a purse (and haven't for over a decade)...

My favorite film is the Errol Flynn The Adventures of Robin Hood

 

[mickeymedic]

the dog didn't do it.

 

[mumom95]

I'm just curious... We had a close family member pass away last month, and ALL of the immediate family affected commented on how people's "God's Plan" and "We Will Pray" comments stung the most.

If you don't mind sharing here, what IS the right thing to say?

I've always just said NOTHING as opposed to saying the wrong thing. People tell me I am "cold" for not saying anything, but I have always been under the impression that there IS NOTHING to say to make people feel better, so it is just best to tell them how sorry you are and leave it at that.

Is there something people would like to hear?

The day after my mom died my best friend was helping my sister and I with going through her house. After a while we were tired and all just sat down at the kitchen table. It was quiet for a couple of moments and then my best friend just looked at me and said "this really sucks, I'm sorry you have to go through it so soon" (I was only 28 and both my parents were dead).

It wasn't very PC and some people may think it was too harsh, but I have to be honest, it made me feel better than many of the other things that were said. When someone close to you dies, it does suck. It sucks big time. And I know everyone is trying to make you feel better, but sometimes it's just nice when they stop trying to make you feel better and just acknowledge that it's ok that you feel bad.

I never got mad at anything people said. But saying things like "they're in a better place" and "you're in my prayers" is almost like saying you shouldn't be upset or I'll pray that you get over being upset soon. Sometimes they just want you to acknowledge that it's ok for them to feel bad.

 

[CathrynRose]

If you don't mind sharing here, what IS the right thing to say?



Is there something people would like to hear?

"I'm so sorry about your Mom". Only *one* person said that to me, and I still remember how sincere and real it felt. Honestly.

My mom wasn't religious - AT ALL. I think my mom would have been really pissed to know people were saying it was "God's Plan". Let's put it this way, when she was unconscious in ICU and the Nun came by and asked me if I wanted her to pray over her, I half considered it, thinking it might make her mad enough to wake up.

Confessions ~

 

[Scurvy]

I re-read all my favorite books fairly often, even the children's and young adult books.

Some of my favorite movies are the really horrible, mindless action movies that nobody in their right mind would admit to liking. "Doom", "Hitman", "Death Race" (the new one ), "Gone in Sixty Seconds", "Resident Evil" - if there's lots of action and/or special effects, I probably love it.

My favorite date nights are the ones where we order takeout and play video games.

I don't intentionally drive over the speed limit, and I'm always appalled if I realize I've inadvertently started speeding.

I really do try not to be judgemental, but I do judge people for lying or cheating and I don't feel bad about it.

 

[MnMomtoboys]

One of mine is that there are some really disgusting people out there and I can't believe karma hasn't kicked them in the you know what yet.

 

[Elmo9607]

I'm 21 and I still love Spongebob Squarepants

I sing along to the radio in the car, but I get embarassed if anyone sees me!

I went on a date once with a guy who called me the wrong name, and I didn't call him out on it!

I hate eating cereal with milk

I could watch the Weather Channel all day and never get sick of it

 

[jamimb]

Im 33 and I listen to the Enchanted soundtrack when my kids are not in the car. I also have the music on my Ipod.

 

[klacey1]

I am a terrible driver.
I ADORE stupid movies like The Hangover, even though sometimes I pretend to be an elitist snob.

 

[kirbsam]

well it is confessions. And maybe the OP has already come clean to thier SO, just not to the world.


Let's see...
I spend way too much time on the dis
i spend way too much time in theme parks.
i never have a problem spending some one else's money
i despise my family and their "values"
i was faithful once in a relationship... But we were only friends with benefits.
I can't wait to get the heck out of dallas

what does friends with benefits mean? and what relationship were you faithful in?

 

[charming23]

I love watching iCarly and I am 25.

I only watch CNN to see Anderson Cooper (I have such a huge crush on him)

I will check the celebrity gossip before I check any real news

I would rather stay in with friends on a saturday night watching movies than go out drinking or to any club.

 

[SandrA9810]

friends with benefits... Means you do bf/gf stuff but not be in a relationship. So you're free to be with other people. Most the time one person doesn't stay a friend and usually wants a relationship/commitment, while the other does not.

Can't say i'm proud of my past... But i did do it, and i can't act like it never happened. And the person i'm gonna start new with, well was around for all the past and is ok with it being in the past.

 

[hereyago]

I am 42 and I have the hots for Robert Pattison-and he isnt even my usual type.

I love Johnny Depp-only when he is Capt. Jack and yet again not my usual type.

I also love to color with crayons. DD11 and I color on flights to WDW, ok, we colored going to Hawaii too.

I love to watch Scooby Doo, not the newer ones, but the ones who would have Sonny and Cher as characters.


I have seen Jaws i don't know how many times, but i still get scared at certain parts and laugh at others.


About the people not liking comments that other people may think wil help when someone passes, I was the same way. I know they were tryig to help or just not sure what to say, but I did have one experience when my DF died:

I went back to work about 2 weeks after DF died, everyone was trying to be so supportive and I loved them for it, but I was craving a sense of normalcy. One of my co workers and I were both little pistols and thought a like. She even offered not to give me a hard time that day and I told her I needed to feel normal.
She made me laugh for the first time in weeks.

 

[JoShan1719]

-After seeing the new Star Trek movie last year I started watching the reruns of The Next Generation on Sci-Fi. I have about 30 episodes DVRed at the moment and I get mad when I'm interupted while watching them.

-DH and I get a little too excited when the Disney Channel has a Suite Life on Deck marathon. We do not move from the couch.

-When we aren't watching Suite Life, we're watching HGTV. DH says if we ever get the money we'll hire David Bromstadt to decorate our house.

-I only watch Income Property on HGTV for the sexy host guy.

 

[Goobergal99]

I have a horrible "south philly" mouth and I am really **** working on it!

I love Teen Soaps and reality shows (Hills included!)

I DIS way more then I should

Sometimes I get lazy and put my gum under my window sill instead of taking it to the trash at night, this goes against my very nature as I am a clean freak!


Although I really don't come from money and work very hard for what I have, I really like having my designer bags and jewelry, it is a status thing and I fully admit that but it makes me feel good )

 

[curiouslittleoyster]

I re-read all my favorite books fairly often, even the children's and young adult books.

Same here!!! I've even gone out of my way to try to restock my bookshelves with the childhood faves I've donated or given away in the past.

I also love Spongebob Squarepants as a previous poster mentioned and I have been known to break out and sing the theme song on occasion while at work(don't worry, it was in the break room).