Completely OT Just Venting

[pampam]

How do you handle nosey questions? Today I had a homecare worker ask me how long DD had to live. I controled myself, and said "We don't discuss that". She said ok and moved on. But it was completely none of her buisness. I have discussed it a bit here, under anonimity, but I feel this woman who I have only met once before should butt out. She is here to cook and clean. She is not a nurse, or in the healthcare field. I have found quite a few of few of her questions nosey and am seriously considering reporting her. Now I'm upset, and hurting all over again.

 

[KirstenB]

That was very insensitive, I'd be upset too.

 

[mechurchlady]

People are naturally curious and want to know things especially if they are concerned. Probably she was making small talk or was worried about your child as in praying for it and sad that a child is sick. She probably did not mean to offend you nor did she understand how offensive she was. I have birth-related poor socialization skills and might blurt something like that out though hope not. Maybe she has poor socialization skills that make it hard for her to think before she speaks.

I would not report her but would explain to her how she offended you and that that is a taboo subject in your presence, in your house, and in any conversations on the phone or elsewhere. Also you should cover any other taboos with her. If she did it again then report her.

As for your anger you were very correct in being angry. It is something I would hate to hear from someone even a close friend let alone a housekeeper or a stranger at the store. I would have probably hit her with a pillow or screamed at her.

Big hugs and ice cream and chocolates. Sorry you had to meet such a rude person.

 

[BeckyScott]

Since you don't know her motivation, I'd say wait and the next time she asks you something, just say "Why do you ask?" (practice saying it so when the time comes it will just flow from your lips)

She may have good intentions and is just very very bad with words. Asking her to explain herself gives her the chance if there's a sincere reason for her questions. If she's just being nosy, throwing a question back at her, she'll have trouble coming up with anything coherant.

Shoot, there could be a million reasons why she'd ask, some okay and some not so appropriate. Maybe she wants to buy your child a Christmas gift or heard about something really cool happening next summer. Maybe she's trying to educate herself. Maybe you all are her first family and she has no idea what's appropriate but is trying to build a relationship.

The phrasing was really bad on it, and I would have definately been taken aback. But I'd try to find out why she's doing it before I reported her.

 

[buzz for boys]

Whilst I agree that she may have a reason why she asked I know from experience how hurtful other peoples auestions can be !! People just dont think and my advice to you would to do what you did dont give them info just politly pass it off as a stupid question ur not prepared to answer because if u dont you just find that it upsets you and the people think it ok to keep asking stupid questions.
bigg hugs hun x x x

 

[carj]

This person is in your home to make life easier right? Uggh! She may not have had malicious intentions but WHY on Earth would anyone think that they could ask a parent this kind of question? That is appalling!

Some people are idiots but that doesn't mean that you have to let idiots into your home. I don't know how much control you have over which homecare workers are sent to you but I would report this insensitive comment. Your home should be a safe haven for your family. If nothing else, this person needs some serious training on how to sensitively work with families.

I am so very sorry that she said that to you.