Completely OT - Job change?

[disykat]

I think your current part time job sounds like the perfect thing. If they aren't pressuring you about the full time, I'd stay. It sounds like it has worked pretty well for you overall? Was the "we want you full time within three years" an actual threat that they'll let you go if you don't? Surely not, because it's sounds like you're a great employee with a great employee/employer relationship.

My guess is that the upcoming summer is the issue since all four kids will need watching? Can your MIL continue to keep the smallest ones for you and you make alternate plans for the other two? Maybe a neighborhood teen or a SAHM wanting some extra cash for the summer?

If you were deciding between working at all vs. being a SAHM, my opinion might be different. However, exchanging one part time for another doesn't change your circumstances that much. You'll still have daycare issues for the ones not in school yet (is MIL available 5 days a week?) and sick child issues, etc.

While the summers off of being a cafeteria lady appeals at this point of your life, I think it's possible you might regret it in the long term. The next ten years will go by quickly and you'll probably be helping those four kids through college in addition to planning your retirement, wanting to travel, etc. The income potential of your current job sounds pretty hard to give up, especially if they'll let you stay part time indefinitely.

 

[runwad]

Op I had to do a double take with your post because it sounded so much like my situation minus the lunch lady job. I've worked part time for 15 years since my youngest was born(we have 3). Except I work 3 days a week, I'd love to go down to 2 but no way my boss would approve that. He bugs me every once in awhile to work full time too but I just tell him no way not at this stage of the game. My kids are all teenagers with one in college. We have lived our lifestyle so I could be home. And honestly like another poster mentioned, its going to get crazier the older they get. Do they do sports? I get out of work at 4 so I was always able to have them fed and off to practice by 5:30. Then once they get to middle school and start playing sports for the schools the game times are 4 in the afternoon during the week. I was always able to go to those. I do have the opportunity to work from home so I usually put in a couple of hours on my two days off, but its not a big deal, just answering emails and doing easy stuff. But I would've never given up this job because it kept me in my industry and if anything every happened and I needed a full time job, I'd step right in to one at a good salary. I vote for keeping the part time job you have and contributing to our 401k for your retirement.

 

[NY Pirate Princess]

This is a fantastic thread and I think you have gotten very supportive answers. The only thing I will add is that I suggest you stop looking at the decision in such a black or white way. You can't know what the future will bring, as so many previous posters have said. However, I don't think the choice is ONLY to continue whatever high paying role you have now with the knowledge that you must return to a 50 hour work week shortly or make grilled cheese for minimum wage. Think about your skill set at your current job and how that might transfer to another flexible part time gig that will fulfill all your needs. While you are facing pressure at work, it sounds like you have time to decide. Don't let their emergency be yours until they tell you it's all or nothing.

Maybe you really want to explore the school environment and would be happy providing nourishment to the children and participating in the work force that way. My personal secret job at early retirement is to work the dawn shift at a coffee shop a couple of mornings a week. The idea of seeing the sun rise and helping other people on their way to work and dispensing jokes is very appealing, as is giving up my high paying high stress work life. In the meantime I do what I can to minimize the impact on my only.

Please also remember those years that you spend working and breaking even due to day care costs also contribute to your social security wages. That said I would love to find a way to keep my girl OUT of summer camp and give her a 10 week BREAK.

Good luck with your choice and please know that whatever you decide it will obviously be from a thoughtful place and a grateful heart.

Hey, maybe you can develop that fiscal education for kids and sell it!!!!!

 

[photos_101]

As a stay at home mom for the last 15 years or so (first 4years of my DS18yo was self employed) I can say we have given up ALOT for me to be at home. I would not change one day of it. There is no amount of money that could make up for being able to spend those days with my kids. Even when they were in school, I was there everyday to take them and pick them up. I was able to go to every school activity, go on field trips, be the class mom, pick them up when they were sick(or keep them home). To see their faces when they come bursting out of that school door at the end of the day and listen to all the ramblings of how their day went, as we are driving home is something that I will never have again and I cherish those days now. My kids are 18 and 23, one will be moving out after she graduates college in Dec and will likely move 20hrs away. The other will graduate HS in 2 weeks and start at a local university in Aug.

After being out of the work force for 15yrs, Last year an opportunity came up at our local Library where I could work part time, leave when necessary, have the days off I need for kids (college tours and such). I was already thinking about what I was going to do since the kids are older and don't need me as much. And bam!, there it was, the perfect job for me. I work 29hrs a week now and will go to 22 during the summer, then back to 29 this fall. Since we were so used to living on one income and still do, my check is fun money and I am now paying into SS again, which will help. I am 43 and have alot of work time left in me (i hope lol). DH and I have always been on the same page with this. I always knew that once my kids were grown, I would have nothing else to do but work, so why not spend as much time with them while they were little!

OP, do what feels right in your heart. You are the only one who knows what that is. I promise you, your kids will grow up and be adults living their own life before you know it. It goes so fast. I am loving working my measly job, interacting with our local patrons, helping people who need it and still having the freedom of being there for my kids. I know in my heart that all those years of doing without, to be home with the kids is what completes my life and allows me to work now and feel accomplished. I didn't need a degree or a high paying job, I simply needed to be a full time mom. And that is what I did, no regrets! Enjoy life and whatever decision you make will be right for you!

 

[yeahdisney]

I worked part time for 16 years. I had one job 9 years, now this one 7 years. Both wanted me full time. I tell them no, I am the one to be there for the kids. DH worked two full times since he was 18. He retired from the 40 hr job 2 years ago. I am still the planner for the kids, DH can now help at times. I could of switched locations and made at least $10 more an hour, I think my friend makes $15 more than me an hour but she has a ton more stress, Works more than double shifts at times, mandatory and on call hours. For a weekend once she was paid 46 hours!
I tell my work this is my retirement job. I asked my kids years ago you want more stuff and more money or do you want me around. They picked a parent around. I am happy with my choice. I can at times pick up extra days when offered.

I would ask for reduced hours in the summer, no grief if sick kid and I would throw in I might want to leave early for special events. Never hurts to ask and OP said she laid the cards on the table.

 

[bjscheel]

Your job sounds like mine. I started my job with a law office at 3 days a week. If a kid was sick, I could move my days around. I only have 2 kids though. It turned out our office manager retired (at age 80) the fall that my youngest started kindergarten. I stepped into that role and worked more during the school year and still 3 days a week in the summers. As the years have gone on, I have worked more and have been full time for a couple of years. I can leave as needed for track meets, to run after things, whatever is needed within reason. I am very happy that I stayed in the field as now that my kids are teens (one a driver) I have a good paying career that still has flexibility. I had thought about doing shortened days when I added more days, but my girls ended up just going to grandma's house after school until I got out, or sports practice, or to friends, or hung out in the empty conference room next to my office...so no need to cut down but it's certainly a consideration.

We did daycare for a while, then in summers a high school girl who was pretty cheap when they were 7 & 10 until they were old enough to stay alone. I know with 4 kids it is harder to find and pay for care, but someday some of them will be old enough to stay home and eventually watch their siblings

So, just in my experience, I would do what I could to make the part time work until you are ready to do more (maybe not full time, just more) or as long as they will have you.

 

[Colleen27]

It sounds like the part time arrangement is working out pretty well right now... Why not hang onto that while developing the financial education program you're working on and then, when you're ready, make the leap to that as a part time career of its own? Unless you reach a point where you're told "full time or else", it seems like you'd do better to keep a foot in your field while working to develop the right alternative opportunities. Selling your expertise will be easier as a working professional than as a lunch lady pitching an educational program.

My kids also attend Catholic school and ours is too small to have cafeteria workers - mothers do that job and "earn" a credit towards tuition. I don't do it on a regular basis, just as a sub when a mom who has regular duty has a conflict and I'm available, but I'm there enough to know that it would be a very taxing job to do every day. It really demands a certain type of personality and I think it would be hard to transition from a challenging professional job to working in the cafeteria every day, no matter how much more attractive the work schedule might be.

 

[Lemurone]

I know there's a lot of talk about how spending time with your kids is priceless, but my kids get on the bus before I leave for work and get out of school an hour and a half before I come home. In other words, I'm losing 90-120 minutes with them by working. The older two, anyway. We could debate that those are the most precious 90 minutes and I've missed pivotal discussions, but to me once they're in school the "they're only little once, take the time now" argument starts to fall flat. However, 50-60 hour work weeks obviously paint a different picture unless you're able to set your own hours.

 

[disykat]

Lemurone, we are responding to the OP's post. No one is judging you for working!

That's the great thing for those of us who have a choice about whether we work or not. Everyone can do what works best for them!

 

[Lemurone]

I never said I was the victim. I'm just saying that it's something to consider--once the kids are all in school, most of your time being a stay at home mom is spent with no kids in the house.

 

[crisi]

I know there's a lot of talk about how spending time with your kids is priceless, but my kids get on the bus before I leave for work and get out of school an hour and a half before I come home. In other words, I'm losing 90-120 minutes with them by working. The older two, anyway. We could debate that those are the most precious 90 minutes and I've missed pivotal discussions, but to me once they're in school the "they're only little once, take the time now" argument starts to fall flat. However, 50-60 hour work weeks obviously paint a different picture unless you're able to set your own hours.

The other side of that coin is that the middle school years are often the most challenging. The ones where homework slips and peer pressure creates stupidity. Its the point at which your kids might skip school and not get on the bus if you aren't there in the morning, and might decide to go hang out with friends who are getting into trouble if you aren't there in the afternoon. Its the point at which teen angst, social pressure, and hormones combine to a truly volatile level in a lot of kids.

If you are going to work for some years and not others, elementary school and high school seem to be a relative breeze. Them being little and the middle school years.....

 

[myhoney]

It's been a whirlwind few days. Wednesday night, I sat down to pay the bills, and thought I would be crazy to leave. It's incredible stability, and if I ever had to make some more money, I can easily work more hours from home. And, since they are not making me go full time now, I thought I would just pass on the school job idea at this time, even though I would love to do it.

Then, I was at work yesterday, all ready to focus on bringing our team back together and retraining people on some things to make the office good again. My co-worker, the full timer who is getting burned out? She pulls me into a meeting to say she is fed up with work, and thinks she will go back to school to become a CPA and eventually leave. And I completely understand. My bosses, as great as they are, do some things backwards. For instance, while I have a degree in Finance and 18 years experience, I am almost the lowest paid person in the office. She recently discovered that the woman we hired last year is making more than she is, even though the new girl had no experience, while my co-worker has been there 9 years. She was crying telling me how offended she was, and I told her I completely understood. 7 years ago, I found out that this co-worker had passed me in pay, even though she didn't have a degree and I had taught her everything she knew. I remember how mad and hurt I was. In my case, I eventually resolved it because I have an incredible perk of being part-time with a full-time job waiting for me. But for her...it's a slap in the face. Especially because she carries so much stress from the job, and brings work home/stays late to get it all done...

The bosses want to hire an additional person with experience, and are "willing to pay a premium for it". And my co-worker is like, they don't pay US a premium, and we have the experience and knowledge of their clients, their likes/dislikes! Loyalty is not necessarily rewarded in the typical sense there. And, as I've said, I let a lot slide because they let me be home with the kids. But if she leaves....things are going to change for me. We have hired 4 people in the last 18 months, and none of them could do what she or I do.

So, I'm back to square one. I think I will stay there for now and formulate a new plan in the meantime. I really do want the school schedule, but the financial education program is more interesting to me than the cafeteria. So, perhaps I will keep building that program so that I can leave to do that, instead. My co-worker was thinking of pulling the owners into a meeting today to tell them what she thinks of their pay issues. I warned her, because they are tight, and get very offended when money/vacation talks are not initiated by them. We will see how that goes.

 

[scrhsa]

Trust your gut. Think of quality of life. Not just in financial terms but in the daily grind of things. Think of what you will regret most at the end of your life....a job or family? I am a bit biased...I have been a stay at home mom most of the time. My husband and I made that decision early on when we knew that daycare would cost more than what I would make. Sure we didn't have name brand things but that was a choice. I had to go back part time when my husband retired out of the military. I work at a small private school. I have done the cafeteria thing and it isn't all that bad. Like I said though, it is a small school....not even a real cafeteria. I love having the same schedule they have/had. I look at it as my number one priority is to get my kids ready for their adult lives. What is the best way for me to do that? Read what everybody says( there have been some great insights), let it all sink in and write a pros and cons. Don't let guilt about leaving the corporate world mess with your head. Don't let the guilt of not staying home with your kids mess with your head. What ever you decide won't be finite. Things change all the time and new opportunities pop up ALL THE TIME!! Trust your gut and pray about it. Good luck!!!!!!!

 

[Colleen27]

The other side of that coin is that the middle school years are often the most challenging. The ones where homework slips and peer pressure creates stupidity. Its the point at which your kids might skip school and not get on the bus if you aren't there in the morning, and might decide to go hang out with friends who are getting into trouble if you aren't there in the afternoon. Its the point at which teen angst, social pressure, and hormones combine to a truly volatile level in a lot of kids.

If you are going to work for some years and not others, elementary school and high school seem to be a relative breeze. Them being little and the middle school years.....

I've been home now with kids at every stage, infant through high school, and the 4th to 8th grade range is definitely the time period I'd choose to be home if I could pick only one. Not only are those the years where kids really seem to get off track easily while they try to figure out who they want to be, they're also the craziest from a parental point of view with kids starting to specialize a bit and put more time into fewer activities but before the activities shift to being school-based and get easier to manage without an on-call chauffeur.

 

[staceyeileen]

To me it sounds like you have an ideal situation. There aren't many "professional" jobs where you can work part-time. I'm probably missing something in your post, but I don't quite understand if you feel like you're being pressured into changing the situation or if you are genuinely interested in changing the situation.

 

[moniqueand2]

This sounds like a good suggestion. Maybe ask if you can work more days at week but for 5-6 hours. Also ask if you can go down to 2 days in the summer months.

I think negotiating for 2 days per week in the summer is the way to go. Ask for it. Sounds like they want to keep you and will probably agree to this. Then as you increase your hours during the school year you will see the financial benefit and feel good about working at the time.

As other posters have said, as your kids get older they will be a little more self-sufficient and can watch themselves or not be as draining on the ILs when they watch them.

 

[ceecee]

I had planned to go back FT and never did. My FT hours were 36, I currently only work 2 days a week. I miss my 401K, but being with my daughter was worth it. Depends a lot on your finances, talk with your boss and be honest, the older your kids get the more they need you imo. I was always driving her somewhere. Working in the cafeteria is HARD work too.