ruadisneyfan2
DIS Legend
- Joined
- May 20, 2006
- Messages
- 17,183
Another vote here for the Debt Dumpers thread & Dave Ramsey. I didn't sign up for anything with him or have to buy anything. I read his website explaining the 7 baby steps and I watched some Youtube videos of him. I found that the debt snowball made it easy to follow. Instead of throwing "a little extra here and there" and getting absolutely no where, it offered a very methodical system to get it done asap. With debt, what starts out small starts getting out of control and gets to impossible way too quickly.
As others have said, kids only become more expensive as they get older. By then they're also a lot more aware of what's going on, hearing discussions when you think they're not listening, etc.
I didn't want to teach my kids by example How to Run Your Life into the Ground. I was not raised like that and neither was dh. Our parents paid cash for everything and lived below their means. I started feeling like I was walking along the edge of the Grand Canyon and one little slip up and it's over the edge we go. I was feeling very irresponsible to lead my family down that path.
We didn't use any kind of consolidation company; I heard too many negative things about who to trust, who not to trust, how if negatively affects one's credit score, etc. My payments were never late and my credit score was good. I wasn't going to try to get out of paying what we owed; I was just getting tired of giving up too much of our paychecks to pay toward old stuff. I really wanted to keep a good credit score and more importantly, I wanted to be able to have more of our paychecks go into savings.
At the time we started with Dave Ramsey, I also made a mental note to only buy things that are really needed. Every purchase I had to ask myself, Is this a need? or a want? It is truly amazing how much you really don't need. I also have become accustomed to thinking that way so it's a habit now. I have become a saver instead of a spender. After a while you start to notice how other people spend ridiculous amounts on completely unnecessary BS and later cry that they're broke. Seriously, I know people who have well over $200k household income who are constantly crying how broke they are, they "just can't get a break" and have borrowed more than once from their retirement account. Their "must-have" list is a mile long. Not even just one couple, but 3 who are like this. From day one of my career, I swore I'd never tap into my 401k unless I was so poor I was living on the street in a cardboard box. I don't know how people rationalize this.
I did still take some trips while paying down our debt which I know only dragged it out longer but my job is utterly physically & emotionally draining (in breast cancer) so I'd come back with renewed strength and vigor and get right back in the saddle.
I'm still on the DD thread because it's a nice group of people and hopefully I can give support like those who gave some to me to help me stay on the right path.
It feels great to be able to plan an amazing vacation, save it all up in advance, and even though we use a credit card for points, we can just transfer from savings to pay for it. This includes some really special trips like a Disney cruise in the Mediterranean and Disneyland Paris a few years later. I just finished saving for a 14 nt Disney cruise through the Panama Canal next Feb though we'll probably end up cancelling it unless a reliable vaccine is available.
I was saving for a car last year (not brand new) and really wanted to keep saving and pay cash for it, just for the challenge to see if I could. I was up to $16k in my car savings fund when I stumbled on exactly what I wanted, 3 yrs old just off a lease, still under manufacturers warranty and immaculate. The shortest car loan they'd give was 4 years but I paid it off way sooner. First payment was March 2019 and I paid it off on Halloween 2019.
That's how much I dislike having debt.
One last thing, I completely agree with the pp who mentioned spouses must be completely aware and onboard to make it happen. If one is trying to pay down debt while the other keeps spending unnecessarily, or he/she is "in the dark" it wont' work. Be up front with each other, make a plan together, and when its done you'll have a stronger marriage for it. Anything besides honesty will only drive a wedge and create a lot of hurt down the road.
You can do it!
You will look back at this stage in your life, like a bump in the road, and say to yourself, "Whew! What was I thinking??!!" The same way all of us in the 70's thought our plaid pants were so cool. 
Good luck!!
As others have said, kids only become more expensive as they get older. By then they're also a lot more aware of what's going on, hearing discussions when you think they're not listening, etc.
I didn't want to teach my kids by example How to Run Your Life into the Ground. I was not raised like that and neither was dh. Our parents paid cash for everything and lived below their means. I started feeling like I was walking along the edge of the Grand Canyon and one little slip up and it's over the edge we go. I was feeling very irresponsible to lead my family down that path.
We didn't use any kind of consolidation company; I heard too many negative things about who to trust, who not to trust, how if negatively affects one's credit score, etc. My payments were never late and my credit score was good. I wasn't going to try to get out of paying what we owed; I was just getting tired of giving up too much of our paychecks to pay toward old stuff. I really wanted to keep a good credit score and more importantly, I wanted to be able to have more of our paychecks go into savings.
At the time we started with Dave Ramsey, I also made a mental note to only buy things that are really needed. Every purchase I had to ask myself, Is this a need? or a want? It is truly amazing how much you really don't need. I also have become accustomed to thinking that way so it's a habit now. I have become a saver instead of a spender. After a while you start to notice how other people spend ridiculous amounts on completely unnecessary BS and later cry that they're broke. Seriously, I know people who have well over $200k household income who are constantly crying how broke they are, they "just can't get a break" and have borrowed more than once from their retirement account. Their "must-have" list is a mile long. Not even just one couple, but 3 who are like this. From day one of my career, I swore I'd never tap into my 401k unless I was so poor I was living on the street in a cardboard box. I don't know how people rationalize this.
I did still take some trips while paying down our debt which I know only dragged it out longer but my job is utterly physically & emotionally draining (in breast cancer) so I'd come back with renewed strength and vigor and get right back in the saddle.
I'm still on the DD thread because it's a nice group of people and hopefully I can give support like those who gave some to me to help me stay on the right path.
It feels great to be able to plan an amazing vacation, save it all up in advance, and even though we use a credit card for points, we can just transfer from savings to pay for it. This includes some really special trips like a Disney cruise in the Mediterranean and Disneyland Paris a few years later. I just finished saving for a 14 nt Disney cruise through the Panama Canal next Feb though we'll probably end up cancelling it unless a reliable vaccine is available.
I was saving for a car last year (not brand new) and really wanted to keep saving and pay cash for it, just for the challenge to see if I could. I was up to $16k in my car savings fund when I stumbled on exactly what I wanted, 3 yrs old just off a lease, still under manufacturers warranty and immaculate. The shortest car loan they'd give was 4 years but I paid it off way sooner. First payment was March 2019 and I paid it off on Halloween 2019.
That's how much I dislike having debt.One last thing, I completely agree with the pp who mentioned spouses must be completely aware and onboard to make it happen. If one is trying to pay down debt while the other keeps spending unnecessarily, or he/she is "in the dark" it wont' work. Be up front with each other, make a plan together, and when its done you'll have a stronger marriage for it. Anything besides honesty will only drive a wedge and create a lot of hurt down the road.
You can do it!
You will look back at this stage in your life, like a bump in the road, and say to yourself, "Whew! What was I thinking??!!" The same way all of us in the 70's thought our plaid pants were so cool. Good luck!!
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