college students and NYE

[Tiggeroo]

my twin sons are home for Christmas break. We live in a small town and they want to go to their friend's on NYE. This friend goes to college in Hawaii and will only be here for a short time. All of their friends will be there. He as well as my sons is 18yo.
My ds, her dh and their 6 kids are in town from Chicago. They are staying at my other sisters in PA. My dh and I would like to be their with the family for the evening.
My sons are good kids, but not perfect. Drinking is not something that's been a problem nor is drugs. But both of them have done the alcohol thing before and gotten busted by me. The kid who they are going to and these friends are the same as my boys. Not really parties but most of them have done so at least once.
Would you go to your families party and leave the boys home? Would you force the boys who are technically adults to go with you? If I stay home it won't be to check on them at the party or anything. They will most likely spend the night. But as it's a small town they would probably pop into my house once or twice. The town is having a big first night celebration and they will be going to the fireworks which are right down the street from me on the beach.
Concerns might be the boys drinking or doing something stupid and having a problem. People who I don't know or whatever coming to crash at my house. Party being ended and moving to my small condo.
BTW my college dd who is 21 will most likely be here and have a small group of friends over to watch the fireworks. She is very responsible. If she does stay here then those concerns about my house wouldn't really exist.

 

[Beth76]

I would go to the family party and allow my sons to attend their party. I would tell them to be smart and if need be to call me to drive them home. Or better yet, make sure they spend the night. I would also expect them not to have people over at my house--that the party stays at the friends house.

 

[becker1123]

I'd go to the family party and let them stay home, too. They are in college and so have been "on their own" for awhile. I would be clear about expectations regarding drinking responsibly, not driving, etc. Sometimes college kids have to be reminded to use common sense, although I do believe most of them have it buried somewhere inside of them.

I hope you all have a safe and fun celebration!

 

[Blueeyes101817]

Id go to the family party and let them stay home...
My brother is 19 and i know hes going out--mom already told him call us if he needs a ride or just sleep over

 

[Blueeyes101817]

o and i had to tell you that your post sounds alot like my family..
im 21 and would be considered the more responsible one...my brother is 19, and would not be the responsible one!

 

[Tiggeroo]

i swear it's much harder to parent these older teens then any age yet. I don't want to overstep my bounds but they're still dependent on me and in some ways not really adults yet.

 

[Michie]

i swear it's much harder to parent these older teens then any age yet. I don't want to overstep my bounds but they're still dependent on me and in some ways not really adults yet.[/QUOTE

Are any of thier friends old enough to buy alcohol?

 

[Tiggeroo]

Are any of thier friends old enough to buy alcohol?

I don't think so. But as experience has shown that doesn't matter. If teens want alcohol they can get it any time.

 

[florida-again]

Here in the UK, 18 is an adult, most notably drinking at 18 is legal. Therefore, from a UK perspective it would seem crazy to stop an 18yo doing what they want on NYE.

I can't really advise you on this, I just thought it was interesting how the two nations create two quite different outlooks. In the UK the question would be '15YO kids and NYE'....if you see what I mean

 

[Patricia]

We are in the exact same position. My daughter is a sophomore in college and wants to spend the night with friends. She is staying over and I am pretty comfortable with that. I just want her off the roads, it's not the night to drive. You are so right, parenting is so much harder now. Give me a baby any day!

 

[disneylizzy]

We are in the exact same position. My daughter is a sophomore in college and wants to spend the night with friends. She is staying over and I am pretty comfortable with that. I just want her off the roads, it's not the night to drive. You are so right, parenting is so much harder now. Give me a baby any day!

Same position as me! DD is headed to CT after she gets out of work on Sat to see friends. I would go to the family party and be clear on the rules, especially no party at your house. I think by this age parents know what kind of kid they have. You either have the kid that recognizes trouble and gets the heck out of Dodge or one that can't spot the train approaching on the tracks he's on. DS20 is not perfect, but I would trust him in this situation, but with DS15 I would stay home!