College Sororities - Sad and Confused......kinda of long sorry

[bunny]

Actually I don't think anyone was saying that their contributions are worthless, but I think people get upset by the superficiality of the selection process. The OP's daughter is heartbroken, because she didn't get choosen. Maybe her grades weren't good enough and maybe she wasn't choosen because she isn't a freshman and maybe (just maybe) she wasn't thin enough or didn't have the right color hair.

 

[MICKEY88]

My friends also had an anti frat house: LMIT or lick my inner thigh.

I'm guessing they were popular with the guys..

 

[friendofgusgus]

I never had any contact with the sororities at my university, or anybody who belonged to one. So I have no personal experience.

I do have a philosophical objection to "auditioning" for the part of lifelong sister/friend.

My (white) best friend went to Indiana U and got excited about pledging, then looked around and saw no minority women. She asked, and was told "Oh, we'd love to have them but they wouldn't feel comfortable." She took that as her cue to walk away.

Indiana University has a very strong African-American Greek system. They host one of the "Divine Nine" - Kappa Alpha Psi, founded in 1911 - and have a separate governing body for those houses.

The girl your friend spoke to is an idiot and not very good at describing Greek life on her own campus, but she may not have been factually incorrect.

 

[ROIE01581]

I only did it college for the free wine. When it came time to really pledge I said forget it. I was not into that suffering stuff.
I do agree that the girls who do belong think they are God's gift and no one was more stab in the back then those who belonged.

Tell her to go to a community center and give her time to something that will help others. It will help her as well.

 

[rascalmom]

Yes - all sorority women are blond bobbleheads.

Here is a list of some from the National Panhellenic Conference website:

http://www.npcwomen.org/parents/whos_who.aspx


Who's Who in the Panhellenic World
Panhellenic Women in:

Education
Arts and Communication
Business and the Non-Profit Sectors
Science, Medicine, and Aviation
Law, Politics, Government, Military & Public Service


Panhellenic Women in Education

Marinell Ash, BBC Educational Producer
Jahnae Harper Barnett, First Woman President of William Woods University
Barbara Aronstein Black, Former Dean, Columbia Law School
Jean M. Buckley, President/CEO, Phi Beta Lambda, Future Business Leaders of America
Dr. Joy Garrison Cauffman, Professor Emerita, University of Southern California
Ruth Colvin, Founder and President, Literacy Volunteers of America
Ada Louise Comstock, President, Radcliffe College
Peggy Gordon Elliott, President, South Dakota State University
Dr. Deborah Floyd, President Emerita, Prestonsburg Community College, Kentucky
Patricia Albjerg Graham, Dean of Graduate Education, Harvard University
Dr. Marsha Guenzler-Stevens, Director of Activities & Associate Director of the Stamp Student Union, University of Maryland, College Park
Anna Rose Hawes, Dean, Mills College, AAUW National President
Karen Holbrook, President, The Ohio State University
Betty Jacka, President, National Merit, Scholarship Corporation
Dr. May Lansfield Keller, Founding Dean of Westhampton College at the University of Richmond
Maria Leonard, Founder, Alpha Lambda Delta, National Scholastic Honorary Society
Franees Lucas-Taucher, President, Millsaps College
Kathryn Sisson Phillips, Organized the National Association of Deans of Women and was its first president
Dr. Shirley Raines, President, The University of Memphis
Patsy Bostick Reed, Chancellor, University of North Carolina at Ashville
Clyda Stokes Rent, President, Mississippi University for Women
Dr. Judith Rodin, President, University of Pennsylvania
Kayla Mays Stroup, Missouri State Commissioner of Higher Education
Nancy L. Zimpher, President, University of Cincinnati

[to top]
Panhellenic Women in Arts and Communication

Barbara Barrie, Actress, Author
Rita Braver, CBS News National Correspondent
Beth Brickell, Actress
Dr. Joyce Brothers, Psychologist and Advice Columnist
Pearl Buck, Author
Andrea Canning, ABC News National Correspondent in Washington D.C.
Kate Capshaw, Actress
Dixie Carter, Actress
Kristin Chenoweth, Actress
Shirley Christian, Pulitzer Prize winner
Lisa Colagrossi, Emmy Award-winning news anchor
Rita Coolidge, Grammy-winning Singer
Joan Ganz Cooney, Businesswoman and Television Producer; Creator of Sesame Street
Katie Couric, News Anchor
Sheryl Crow, Singer
Margaret Truman Daniel, Writer; Daughter of President Harry Truman
Faith Daniels, News Anchor, Media Personality
Agnes DeMille, Dancer, Choreographer
Joyce Dewitt, Actress
Faye Dunaway, Academy Award-winning Actress
Nanette Fabray, Actress
Donna Fargo, Singer
Barbara Feldon, Actress; Game show panelist of the 1960s and model
Ruth Ford, Actress
Nancy Foreman, Actress
Jennifer Garner, Actress
Phyllis George, News Anchor
Leeza Gibbons, Talk Show Host
Nancy Grace, CNN News Anchor
Sue Grafton, Author
Amy Grant, Singer
Cathy Guisewite, Cartoonist; Created comic strip Cathy
Edith Head, Academy Award-winning Costume Designer
Patricia Heaton, Actress
Eileen Heckart, Academy Award and Tony Award-Winning Actress of Stage, Screen and Television
Florence Henderson, Actress
Jane Henson, Co-creator of The Muppets Show
Marilyn Horne, Opera Singer
Kate Jackson, Actress
Ashley Judd, Actress
Nancy Kulp, Actress
Christine Lahti, Actress
Sherry Lansing, Former CEO, Paramount Pictures; First woman to head a major studio
Carol Lawrence, Actress
Cloris Leachman, Academy Award, Emmy and Golden Globe-winning Actress
Nell Harper Lee, Author
Lucy Liu, Actress
Heather Locklear, Actress
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Actress
Joan Lunden, Broadcaster, Former "Good Morning America" Host
Victoria MacKenzie-Childs, New York Yankees Co-owner
Patricia Pritzkau MacLachlin, Author; Winner of 66th John Newberry Medal
Ann-Margret, Singer, Dancer
Rue McClanahan, Actress
Bette Midler, Actress, Singer
Donna Mills, Actress
Mary Ann Mobley, Actress, Former Miss America
Patricia Neal, Academy Award-winning Actress
Agnes Nixon, Emmy Award-winning Writer and Producer
Deborah Norville, Television Broadcaster and Journalist
Georgia O'Keeffe, Artist
Jane Pauley, Television Journalist
Kyra Phillips, CNN News Anchor and Correspondent
Sylvia F. Porter, Columnist
Paula Prentiss, Actress
Dorothy Provine, Singer, Dancer, Actress, Comedian
Gena Rowlands, Actress
Atoosa Rubenstein, Editor in Chief, Seventeen magazine
Charlotte Rue, Author
Jeri Ryan, Actress
Eva Marie Saint, Academy Award-winning Actress
Gail Sheehy, Cultural Observer and Author
Cybill Shepherd, Actress
Dinah Shore, Singer, Actress
Anne Rivers Siddons, Author
Jean Smart, Actress
Jennifer Smith, Producer of CNN's "Crossfire"
Suzy Spafford, Cartoonist
Marlo Thomas, Actress
Marcia Wallace, Actress
Carrie Underwood, Singer
Sela Ward, Actress
Carole Warner, Pulitzer Prize Winner
Dawn Wells, Actress
Ruth Whitney, Former Editor in Chief, Glamour Magazine
Judy Woodruff, TV Newscaster
Joanne Woodward, Actress
Kimberly Williams, Actress
Liz Winstead, Creator of Comedy Central's "The Daily Show”
Helen Levison Worth, Author

[to top]
Panhellenic Women in Business and the Non-Profit Sectors

Betty Stanley Beene, President/CEO, United Way of America
Carol Bellamy, Executive Director, UNICEF
Bridget Ryan Berman, Retail Group President, Polo Ralph Lauren
Sara Blakely, Founder, Spanx
Nancy Goodman Brinker, Founder, Susan G. Komen Foundation
Lee Ducat, Founder, Juvenile Diabetes Foundation
Paula Garrison, Founder, National Sleepwear
Elizabeth Meyer Glazer, Founder, Pediatric AIDS Foundation
Dr. Ruth Hartgraves, President, American Women's Association
Betsy Holden, CEO, Kraft Foods
Betsey Johnson, Fashion Designer
Susan Kinder, President, American Express, Travelers' Cheques
June Kummer, Co-owner, Adam's Mark Hotels
Alice Sheets Marriott, Co-founder, Marriott Corp.
Jennifer Biddulph Maxwell, Co-creator, the Power Bar
Patricia Miller, Co-owner/President, Vera Bradley Designs
Pat Mitchell, President, PBS
Margaret Moffat Toy, Founder, Meals-on-Wheels
Elisa Lee Morgan, President/CEO, MOPS International, Inc.
Anita Morris Pearlman, Founder, B'nai Brith Girls
Ann Potter Person, Founder, Stretch and Sew
Donna Stone Pesch, Founder/President, Prevent Child Abuse America
Mimi Halper Silbert, Founder, Delancey Street Foundation
Melvynne Sommers, Founder, Save Our Seniors
Kate Spade, Designer
Henrietta Szold, Founder, Hadassah
Rhoda Morrow Tomasco, Founder, Sunshine Kids Foundation
Patricia Pulliam Upton, President/ Chairman, AROMATIQUE
Donna Wolfe, President, Jockey Inc.
Susan Bernstein Zeegan, Founder, Pediatric AIDS Foundation

[to top]
Panhellenic Women in Science, Medicine, and Aviation

Dr. Linda Hawes Cleaver, First Woman Governor, American College of Physicians
Rita Colwell, Director, National Science Foundation
Dr. Gladys Henry Dick, Co-discoverer, Test for Scarlet Fever and the anti-toxin used in its treatment
Jan Davis, Astronaut
Bonnie Dunbar, Astronaut
Dr. Marion Fay, First Woman President of a Medical College (The Women’s Medical College in Philadelphia)
Anna Fisher, Astronaut
Dian Fossey, Pioneer Zoologist
Dr. Jessie Gray, First Woman elected to the Royal Academy of Surgeons of Canada
Mary Kathryn Hammock, Neurosurgeon & Founder of National Brain Research Association
Susan Helms, Astronaut
Carolyn Huntoon, Astronaut
Jerrie Mock, First woman to successfully fly solo around the world
Julia Morgan, Architect, San Simeon
Dr. Valerie Neal, Curator, Smithsonian Institution, National Air & Space Museum, Department of Space History
Judith Resnik, Astronaut
Donna Shirley, Mars Project Manager, NASA, Jet Propulsion Laboratory
Mary Ellen Weber, Ph.D., Astronaut

[to top]
Panhellenic Women in Law, Politics, Government, Military & Public Service

Eva Bertrand Adams, Director of the first U.S. Mint
Gracia Backer, Missouri State House of Representatives
Jane H. Barrett, First Woman on the Board of the American Bar Association
Kathleen Babineaux Blanco, Governor of Louisiana; First woman governor of Louisiana
Barbara Levy Boxer, U.S. Senator (D-CA)
Margaret A. Brewer, Brigadier General, Marine Corps
Carol Laise Bunker, U.S. Ambassador to Nepal 1966-1973; First woman Director General, Foreign Service
Jocelyn Burdick, U.S. Senator (D-ND)
Laura Welch Bush, First Lady, U.S.
Shelley Moore Capito, U.S. House of Representatives (R-WV)
Jean Carnahan, U.S. Senator (D-MO)
Carrie Chapman Catt, Suffragist & Founder of the National League of Women Voters
Lynn Cheney, Wife of U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney
Martha Layne Collins, Governor of Kentucky; First and only woman governor to date in Kentucky
Grace Goodhue Coolidge, First Lady, U.S.
Elizabeth Dole, U.S. Senator (R-NC); Former President, Red Cross of America
Marianne Blackburn Drew, Rear Admiral, Navy
Terri Walter Gabreski, Brigadier General, Air Force
Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Justice, U.S. Supreme Court
Mary Gladwin, Red Cross nurse who served in three wars from 1898 to 1919, decorated by the United States, Russian, Japanese and Serbian governments
Shirley Mount Hufstedler, Former U.S. Secretary of Education
Karen Hughes, Presidential Spokesperson
Kay Bailey Hutchison, U.S. Senator (R-TX)
Nancy Landon Kassebaum, U.S. Senator (R-KS)
Yvonne Kauger, Chief Justice, Oklahoma Supreme Court
Claudia Kennedy, General, Army
Mary Landrieu, U.S. Senator (D-LA)
Blanche Lambert Lincoln, U.S. Senator (D-AR)
Bessie Margolin, U.S. Labor Department Appeals Attorney
Lynn Martin, Former U.S. Secretary of Labor
Virginia Dill McCarty, Former U.S. Attorney General; First Woman named to a full term as the Attorney General
Betty Montgomery, Attorney General of Ohio; First woman Attorney General
Lisa Murkowski, U.S. Senator (R-AK)
Offira Navon, First Lady, Israel
Francine Neff, Former U.S. Secretary of the Treasury
Maurine Brown Neuberger, U.S. Senator (D-OR)
Dr. Condoleezza Rice, U.S. Secretary of State
Margaret Chase Smith, U.S. Senator (R-ME)
Ivy Baker Priest Stevens, Former U.S. Secretary of the Treasury
Annette Greenfield Strauss, Mayor, Dallas, Texas; First woman mayor of Dallas
Jane Swift, Governor of Massachusetts
Alma Bell Wilson, Justice, Oklahoma Supreme Court


I see a some minorities in the bunch. Of course, there are also sororities established by and for minorities as well as those who are members of the NPC groups.

I was slender when I pledged as a sophomore, but my first roommate in the house was overweight. It didn't matter - she was our friend and was a beautiful person.

I am not handicapped, but we did have a member who had lost a leg in the house when I was there.

We had minorities; black, hispanic and Asian. One of them was and still is one of my best friends.

I was not from a wealthy family. My dad worked in a machine shop & my was a clerk in an A/R department. I paid for extras by working all my breaks and earning scholarships. My parents were also pretty protective & would not have been ready for me to move into an apartment my sophomore year....with me being VERY ready to move out of the dorms, living in the house was a good solution. A great solution. My little brother died when I was in my first semester in the sorority....those sisters pulled me through a very rough time. Without them, I would NOT have even stayed in school. I had kept in touch with many high school and dorm friends, but it was my sorority sisters who supported me. I won't ever forget their kindness and love.

I have seen both sides of things. I didn't pledge as a freshman - I spent my first year very involved in dorm life. I was president of the two dorm floors supervised by my RA. I never was a big partier & those students who stayed in my dorm were very into that scene. I rushed as a sophomore have never regretted my decision. I had an active social life both before, in and after the sorority & the bond with my sorority friends is very special.

As far as "buying" friendships - that isn't even true from a financial statement. My dd is in a sorority now; her social dues and her room & board added together are quite a bit less in total than her dorm bill her freshman year. The house is closer to campus than any apartments (and also less expensive). She can easily walk to class and has parking included. In an apartment, she would have to drive & play the parking game on campus or ride a bus. The house is brand new - her private space is larger & much nicer than her dorm room (come to think of it, it is nicer than her room at home ). She has one roommate & has access to an excercise room, a tv lounge, a study area with provided computers and printers, a snack kitchen, a full dining room with 3 meals a day prepared by a professional cook. Much tastier than the dorm food she says. All of this AND several very nice parties provided each year (and it's not like Greeks are the only ones partying on college campuses - the keg parties in my dorm basement made any frat or sorority look like a tea party). And the financial comparison isn't unusual; I am involved on a regional oversight level and this is the situation on most campuses that I see.

I agree that sororities are primarily a social organization - and I don't think there is anything wrong with that. The selection process is not intended to be exclusionary; it is intended to find women with like values, goals and interests. Always some fun mixed in - these are students, what is wrong with that? These social organization also hold their members to high expectations for academic acheivement, community and organizational leadership and philanthropy. Do some fail - sure, but that isn't the norm on all campuses.

It has been too many years for me to recall the exact charities we assisted when I was in college, but we raised money annually for women's cardiac care. The funds went to local hospitals, research and the American Heart Association. We also donated money and clothing regularly to a local battered women's shelther. We adopted families at Thanksgiving and Christmas. We tutored local elementary students. We organized and manned a campus-wide clean up and improvement day. Relay for Life, Susan Komen, etc., etc. These are/were in addition to participating with other Greek groups in their fundraisers for their chosen charities.

The point of this thread was to help the OP help her daughter feel better. I don't think pointing out perceived negatives is doing anyone any good - for the OP or her dd. The dd had a desire & I don't think it helps to dismiss or invalidate it. Sorority life is not right for everyone, but it is what that young lady wanted. Does it help her hurt to belittle her choice?

She got a tough break and I am very sorry. As a mom, all I can do is suggest the OP hold her daughter tight through the hurt and suggest alternative groups/activities for her when she is ready to move on. Let her know she is a valued and wonderful person, no matter what went wrong in the recruitment process for her.

 

[tinker&belle]

Is your daughter at a school where Greek life dominates? Most Big Ten schools are big enough that Greek life only makes up a small portion of the campus. I, for one don't like the idea of seeking acceptance from other girls based on superficial reasons - I know some say they base acceptance on grades, but my roommates that rushed a sorority had awful grades so I know some exist.

This may be the best thing that happens to your daughter. She'll find her place on campus. Good luck!

At IU Greek is HUGE. When I was there, 25% of undergrads are greek. I wasn't one of them, but had a big group of girlfriends that were all in the same one so I spent a lot of time at that house.

Oh, and in addition to finances, I didn't rush because all but about 3 or 4 girl's houses on campus have a reputation for only picking really thin, rich girls. The (legendary) process for at least one house was humiliating. (To be fair, I never witnessed this, but heard from several who did.)

 

[castleview]

At IU Greek is HUGE. When I was there, 25% of undergrads are greek. I wasn't one of them, but had a big group of girlfriends that were all in the same one so I spent a lot of time at that house.

Oh, and in addition to finances, I didn't rush because all but about 3 or 4 girl's houses on campus have a reputation for only picking really thin, rich girls. The (legendary) process for at least one house was humiliating. (To be fair, I never witnessed this, but heard from several who did.)

I did hear that about Indiana which is why I'm thrilled I didn't go. Fortunately, U of M was so HUGE that it really didn't matter. I only knew about the Greek system because I had a roommate pledging and her sisters stopped by frequently. I wish I could say they all squashed the stereotype for me, but they didn't.

I can't help noticing all the notable sorority members are from years ago. Isn't that because it's simply not necessary to join a sorority?

 

[jodifla]

Boy, I can tell you, I cannot recall looks or weight coming up at any of our selection sessions. That wasn't on our radar. We had girls of all shapes, sizes, haircolors and financial backgrounds.

What kind of person the girl was much more the focus.....

 

[jodifla]

I did hear that about Indiana which is why I'm thrilled I didn't go. Fortunately, U of M was so HUGE that it really didn't matter. I only knew about the Greek system because I had a roommate pledging and her sisters stopped by frequently. I wish I could say they all squashed the stereotype for me, but they didn't.

I can't help noticing all the notable sorority members are from years ago. Isn't that because it's simply not necessary to join a sorority?

I think it's less necessary, and on campus it varies how strong Greek life is. Greek life is pretty strong in the South, still.

Women should remember why sororities started....Mine started as a study group, basically. More than 100 years ago, girls were barred from many aspects of college life. Having a sorority gave them a chance to be in leadership positions that they were unable to have on male-dominated campuses.

 

[Geoff_M]

At IU Greek is HUGE. When I was there, 25% of undergrads are greek.

Yes, the drive up N Jordan Ave is something else, isn't it?

I agree that sororities are primarily a social organization - and I don't think there is anything wrong with that. The selection process is not intended to be exclusionary; it is intended to find women with like values, goals and interests.

rascalmom, I think "intended" is the key word in many cases. While I agree that it's unfair to paint every chapter house with the same broad brush, enough of us that have personally spent years on college campuses have observed that the members of Greek houses we saw that reportedly are selected for their leadership qualities, philanthropic interests, academic achievement, and personality just all too often also seem to have a lot of the same sort of physical characteristics. This isn't to say that during the final selection process people say things like "Nah, she's too fat!" or "Nah, he looks like nerd!", but maybe the frequent result is just coincidence... and thus the stereotype/reputation.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

This isn't to say that during the final selection process people say things like "Nah, she's too fat!" or "Nah, he looks like nerd!", but maybe the frequent result is just coincidence.

These types of prejudices may also be "unspoken".

 

[rascalmom]

I think it's less necessary, and on campus it varies how strong Greek life is. Greek life is pretty strong in the South, still.

Women should remember why sororities started....Mine started as a study group, basically. More than 100 years ago, girls were barred from many aspects of college life. Having a sorority gave them a chance to be in leadership positions that they were unable to have on male-dominated campuses.

I think it is also a factor of it taking awhile in most careers to attain noticable achievements. If you look at the list I posted, there are younger representative from certain fields; mostly entertainment and entrepreneurship. For most fields, you don't become noteworthy until after your career is well established. It will be interesting to look back in 10-15 years and see how many names are added from that list from the 1990's forward. You don't expect to see a Supreme Court justice or a Secretary of State in their 20, 30's or sometimes even 40's.

It hasn't been all that long since it was a truly male-dominated world. As the shift to more gender equality was made, sororities may have played a greater role in helping young women hone networking skills and attain leadership opportunities than is needed today. I have two daughters and I am glad the world has made progress for women and minorities, but that doesn't mean that the sorority doesn't still provide opportunity and enjoyment for its members.

Is it necessary? - probably not. But neither is the Rotary Club, Boy Scouts or the most sports teams. That doesn't mean that those who belong or participate in those organizations or activities don't receive benefit, enjoyment or commraderie from them.

All that is really necessary in life is food, water, shelter and love.

 

[ExPirateShopGirl]

OP, sorry your daughter is hurting. I know what it's like to not realize a dream. Tell her to try again, if she is up to it.

I didn't particularly care one way or another if I pledged a house. I was a Pi Phi legacy and my mother pushed me into pledging. Frankly, I'm glad she did. I made lifelong friendships and thoroughly enjoyed the comraderie with the other girls in the house, as well as the girls in other houses. We did participate in charitable causes. We also had an awful lot of fun. I have fond memories of my undergrad years and they were enriched by participation in the greek system.

And for anyone who believes it costs (or did cost) more to join a sorority than it does to live in the dorm... just the opposite was true when I went through.

Good luck to your daughter, OP.

 

[mykidsand_i]

And for anyone who believes it costs (or did cost) more to join a sorority than it does to live in the dorm... just the opposite was true when I went through.
.

I have to agree here... when I told my parents I wanted to join, they were worried about the financial aspect of it all. I did not come from money...I am sure my parents raised my brothers and I with somewhere between $35-45,000 a year.

But, when we added it all up...living in the KD house and paying dues were only $5 more per month than living off campus and renting a house with a few friends. Yes, I said $5 more per month...If I could afford to do it, anyone could!

And for a previous poster who 'oh so nicely' asked for what we PERSONALLY DID...yeah...be prepared for lists and lists of things from certain people here, because most of the sisters on this site have worked their tails off to do good things for others.

Some of you say that you don't like a 'group or society' that is based upon looks, or what ever and you are doing the same thing- you are saying that all "pretty people" are snobs and stuck up? Hmm, that makes a lot of sense. You get mad at others for it, yet you are doing it yourselves.

I looked up some facts and history from what I did in my house (WHAT I PERSONALLY DID IN MY HOUSE...REMEMBER, this is what you asked for???) here we go...

in the first year of living in the house:

I led a pancake feed for over 2,000 people in order to raise money for our local abuse shelter. They needed a new house and our sorority made a huge money goal to donate to build 1 shelter (yes, our sorority said they'd take care of 100% of the re-build)...Leading the pancake feed was a lot of work. I spent hours on the phone tring to get deals with grocery stores, I made fliers, I did interviews on the radio shows and was on local news twice to promote this feed. Our goal was to get 1,500 people attending the feed, but because of all my work in promoting, we had exactly 2,245 people. Not only did I LEAD this feed, I was out there making the pancakes, making the bacon, serving the people who attended. that project alone took in more than $13,000 and I felt pretty good about what we accomplished.

I was a big sister every year I was in my house. I was assigned to one girl from the shelter (as each girl in our house was) and I would spend anywhere from 1-4 hours with her at some point durring the week. I took her out of the shelter, we went and did fun activities together. I got her involved in girl scouts and that is when I, myself, became a full time helper/leader of our troop. I led girl scout meetings, organized special events for the girls and set up (and attended) camps with them. I felt wonderful to give back to these girls, because I saw that they truely enjoyed it. Three of the girls from my troop were from the abuse shelter, 5 were from an intercity school that never got to experiance much besides being home with no parents and going to school...they truely enjoyed the experiance and I was happy to help in any way I could.

Another thing that I personally did was take part in the habitat for humanity home BUILDING projects. Every single year I would be out there BUILDING the actual homes...our sorority raised money to donate to Hab. for Humanity and EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US was out there for several hours working on these houses!! Using hammers, saws, painting, laying flooring...what ever they needed us to do. I, personally, took part in building 8 homes in the four years I was in KD durring college. Not only did we build these homes, we worked on getting them furnished...stoves, fridges, beds, bedding, a few nice toys for each of the kids, we'd give them gift cards to get things they needed...SOME OF THE HOMES WE BUILT WERE NICER THAN THE ONE I GREW UP IN (other girls said the same thing about their homes!)

In my second and third years in the house, we started doing training at the shelter. We would teach women how to do sucessful interviews. I did several hours of the training there. YES, I MYSELF, actually went there and did the training. I'd bring some pizzas (using funds from our kd house account) and the women would actually be excited to have us come and spend time with them. We were there a lot durring my years...we'd go and take part in the game nights and their bible study nights. It was an amazing experiance!

Every year our house made blankets for several different things. We made blankets for the domestic abuse shelter, for the homeless shelters, for the families that moved into the habitat for humanity homes, for other college students (yes, other college students- it didn't matter how they looked, or how much they weighed...but it did matter how much money they had- because these were BROKE college kids (just like myself and 1/2 of the others in my house!!!) We did pizza party nights for dorms. We'd pick a floor from a dorm every other week and we ordered them all pizza. One of the girls that was in our dorm worked at a Dominos pizza and she'd always get us some good deals.

We had sign ups for people wanting free tutoring from girls in our house...I was only a tutor 3 semesters, but I had a lot going on! We found these students through the campus offices...they were students who REQUESTED ASSISTANCE with paying for tutoring...they were the ones requesting it, we offered it!

Well, I'm happy to say that in my 4th semester of living in the house, we had finally raised enough of the funds so they started building the new shelter for families of domestic abuse. It was built in less than a year and when it was almost complete, all of my sisters and I went in and painted it. We did ALL of the inside rooms. We saved $$$ by painting it ourselves, so we had some cash left over. Just enough to build a beautiful play room. We had two sisters in the house who were very artistic and painted kids pictures all over the walls, we made a built in gym and it was wonderful.
For those of you who believe sorority women don't do any thing for anyone but themselves, I really wish you could have seen this project at its completion! And, I would have loved for you to see those kids and moms faces when they walked in to check the place out. Some of these kids were crying tears of joy when they saw their new play room...and the families went from having to share several rooms with eachother, to EACH of them having their own "mini-suites" with their own bedrooms and bathroom (each family got their own "suite")...So, for those of you who don't believe that great things are done through sororities, I'm sorry that you believe that. Because many of us girls have worked very hard to change that "bad reputation" but obviously the bad has been out-weighing the good. I'm sorry for that...there is nothing that we can do about the bad ones...we can just talk about our own personal experiances and what we have done.

 

[bunny]

I
Some of you say that you don't like a 'group or society' that is based upon looks, or what ever and you are doing the same thing- you are saying that all "pretty people" are snobs and stuck up? Hmm, that makes a lot of sense. You get mad at others for it, yet you are doing it yourselves."

I think this is what is putting most people off- referring to yourselves as the "pretty people".

 

[Deb & Bill]

Gosh, when did you sorority girls find time to go to class?

 

[diznygirl]

It's nice to see that some sororities are responsible, but the fact is that not all of them are. I think we can all agree on that, hmmm?

The OP's daughter got involved with the wrong group. In time, she'll realize that not getting in was one of the best things that could happen to her.

 

[SomedayI'llBe]

Gosh, when did you sorority girls find time to go to class?

Hence our talking about time commitment.

Personally, I'm carrying 18 hour loads, when 12 qualifies you to be a full time student. Did it last semester too, and still managed a 3.83 average.

 

[mykidsand_i]

I think this is what is putting most people off- referring to yourselves as the "pretty people".

We have not ever called ourselves "the pretty people" it's everyone that is fighting so hard againsed us that say a sorority is only filled with nice looking girls who have money...I'm getting so tired of fighting this fight.

The fact is that there are sorority houses in this country that do things for the good of others...there are sorority houses that do not turn people away because they are "different"- overweight, poor, disabled...

If people come to this thread saying that "ALL sororities are bad"...well, how can they do that? They certainly don't know ALL sorority houses! KD works for nothing but the good of others. The entire 4 years I was there, we turned less than 15 people away...THOSE 15 were ALL aware of WHY THEY WERE TURNED DOWN...IT WAS BECAUSE OF THEIR POOR GRADES! It had nothing to do with looks.

The sisters in a lot of sororities are beautiful people...but it's not the looks that make them full of beauty. It's their attitutes towards life, it's their personalities, it's their willingness to help others that make them beautiful/pretty or what ever you want to call it.

There is bad everywhere in this world. Most sororities do their part to help others, and there should be nothing wrong with that.

 

[OK!]

Other posters: Being Greek means a lot more to me than just a group of friends. It's hard to explain- I'm not sure I have the words- but it is different. By no means is it right for everyone, and there are millions of non Greek women who are truly amazing people. It is not a requirement for any good things in life. For me, it lets me have a group of girls that I share something so deep with. It's a bond that's very special to me. It's given me opportunities to do things I never would have otherwise. And there are many women who were turned away from recruitment who very well could have been wonderful sisters, but there was some reason the groups couldn't take them- it wasn't those girls fault.

But please, there is really more to it than just "paying for friends", at least for me.

Thank you. My thoughts exactly. Not all sororities embody the Lifetime-movie hazing horror story experience, despite what so many people seem to think. My Greek experience was extremely positive and really helped me get to know many, many more people on campus than I probably would have otherwise (I was very shy back then). I went to a Big Twelve school that was a popular destination for many people from my high school, and being in a house enabled me to break free a bit from the group I was maybe too comfortable with and get to know so many different types of people.

OP, I'm so sorry your daughter's going through this. I know how much it hurts to be rejected for any reason, let alone ones that can seem so arbitrary. Nothing I can say will make it seem any less unfair, but it really could have come down to nothing more than numbers, as others have said. My house in particular happened to offer a spring rush my sophomore year, and while we did offer bids to a few upperclassmen, it was far and away more heavily weighted toward freshmen because they were the girls who were going to be with the house for four years.

Hugs to both of you!