Co-workers

[J/T Gramdma]

I don't post very often but maybe you could help me with a dilema. Can you tell me what you expect from your co-workers and how do you expect them to treat you. Do you talk about your homelife or yourself? Do you ask them questions about them and thier life? do you tell stories about events inyour life or just say hello and go about your day. I just started a new job and am trying to start right but I think I am just nervous about how to act. It has been 10 years since I was in the job scene. Thanks for any and all help.

 

[Big V]

Hi J/T Gramdma and welcome to the Dis. I would just say to act like yourself. Most people like it when you ask about their families ect. If they know you're not just making small talk and really do care. I'm sure you'll do just fine!
Scott

 

[Tony-NJ]

J/T Gramdma I guess the attitude will vary from different envirnments. I know where I work, I share an office with someone and since we spend so much time together we pretty much know everything about each other LOL. But I also know people who work in such evironments where it's very stuffy and folks don't really socialize with one another. I guess just be friendly in the beginning and try and get a feel for how others act.

 

[Margie J]

Before revealing too much about yourself, sit back and observe the co-workers first. Be friendly but don't offer too many details. Talk about the basics; married, kids, travel, light news items, etc. Don't talk (or ask) about marriage troubles, your kid that's having issues, personal finances or hot topics just yet. Keep things light.

As in other places, some people may become trusted friends and a few may be backstabbers. Be particularly aware of the "gossip train" as I call it. It can be used for good or bad. For example, if you happen to mention to a co-worker that you are having trouble with your personal budget that info may get passed and warped into you are "almost bankrupt". If the boss gets that info it could cause mistrust and other problems.

I speak from experience with regard to the "gossip train". We have an ugly one at work, with one conductor and several associates. A few people have innocently added to the ugly gossip too, usually when they are caught offguard or new. It has caused many problems where I work. Most people I work with are good, decent folks. However, all you need is one nut to start trouble. Ours is a wolf disguised as a "good guy".

 

[Dan Murphy]

Hi J/T Gramdma, nice to see you, and yes, say hello here more often.

I am very open with my assistant, Karne, who over many years, has become like family. Also, a few selected associates I feel very comfortable with, but most I see rarely (I am out a lot) and have little contact. You will know your limits, do waht is comfortable. My best in the new job.

 

[onecoolmama]

I agree with the poster that said sit back and observe first. DH and I are really skepitcal about who we let into our worlds. He is worse than I am.


So he talks sports, current events, but he wont get into personal info right away. At the last job he was at, he made two really good friends and we all go out to dinner and on trips (white water rafting and things) but this is the frist time he did and it took two years!

 

[Pin Wizard]

You'll find those you click with and those you don't. I usually give as little info as possible until I'm comfortable. Some people are strictly on conversations I need to have to get my work done. Not much they know about me. They're usually the ones I see as "acting" and not being sincere. I stay away from them except for what I have to do. But I do have a lady from my last job at the hospital two years ago that I chat with (online) on a daily basis.

 

[Robinrs]

I studied Dale Carnegie YEARS ago and use a lot of his methods to deal with others. Good points everyone has made so far.

Always remember that people see in you what you reflect back about them. If you make someone feel good about themselves, they will always see you in a good light. Listen more than talk and comment on what THEY say.

I've seen this work on the worst types of personalities. I actually do it regularly and it has rarely failed.

oh and btw....

WELCOME!!

 

[J/T Gramdma]

Thank you for all your help and info. I am going to take slow and hope my mouth doesnt open by itself.