Co-Worker Trouble--WWYD?

[DizBelle]

It sounds to me that this falls under the protection from "hostile working environment" under harassment laws. She should file a complaint with HR to at least get it documented.

 

[PeterPanette]

Or, you could do what I would do, have a "Come to Jesus" meeting with her and tell her to stop spreading her lies.

I'm seriously going to have to work that phrase into a conversation, very soon.

 

[ducklite]

There is no reason whatsoever that the OP should do any of these things! This isn't information to hide nor should she feel like she has to hide anything! What right did the coworker have to read her calendar and stick her nose into things that weren't her business!? This is nothing that the OP has to be ashamed of, nor has to hide from others nor has to "shorthand". Hiding her calendar away makes the OP seem more sneaky!

I bet if the OP had "Dr. Appt. 6:30 pm" if the co-worker would've asked "Oh, what doctor? What's wrong?"!!

I suppose I could really send her over the edge by letting it slip that Friday night I was sitting in a car with a guy who sings in a band outside a gin mill up in Daytona Beach listening to a CD. My husband is well aware of this as well, and it was also business related--I'm thinking about investing some money into this group as well. Would I go from harlot to hussy on that one?

Anne

 

[momoftwins]

Add notes all over your calender

Dinner with Walt
Dinner with Mickey
Lunch with Lumiere



or any of your other favorite Disney characters

She'll think you have a raging obsession with men

 

[PeterPanette]

Would I go from harlot to hussy on that one?

Oh yeah. A definite escalation from orange to red on the governmental hussy alert warning system.

 

[Bob Slydell]

I don't know ... couldn't it be justified as slander!!?

Slander? For misinterpreting something you saw on someone else's calendar? I don't know, I just don't see HR caring on something like this.

 

[Daxx]

Slander? For misinterpreting something you saw on someone else's calendar?

No, for the co-worker taking the dinner out of context and spreading around gossip that the OP's having an affair.
Ducklite stated:

Another co-worker came in to my office a little while ago and asked me if everything was OK between my husband and I. I explained the situation and she laughed it off, but God only knows where this is going to go...

If the co-worker's going around accusing the OP of having an affair, wouldn't that be considered slander?! I'm not sure ... I'm not an attorney ... just adding a thought.

 

[Pugdog007]

I agree wholeheartedly with the come to Jesus meeting with her. I would never advocate going to the boss or to HR before trying to resolve the issue with the person directly.

 

[lindakmonty]

I think I'd have to mess w/her... writing lunch w/John and who ever else at least once a week on your calendar now !!!! omg...she must be so sheltered...I work w/ALL men...the only female out of about 70 guys...I always go out to eat w/them, what am I supposed to do eat alone? She needs to get over it...and mind her OWN business!

 

[ducklite]

I'm not going to sue her, that's a bit ridiculous--first I'd have to prove damages and second you can't get blood from a stone.

After thinking it over she and I are going to have a discussion about minding ones own business. I'm also going to tell her that just because SHE has not been able to have a successful marriage after two tries, doesn't mean that everyone is the same way. (yeah, I'm going to get a bit nasty) That DH and I are very happy together, and we aren't so immature and untrusting in our marriage that we aren't allowed to socialize with anyone of another gender. And that next time she wants to spread gossip about me, to fist get her facts straight and second be prepared to have a chat with HR.

I'm not even going to get into my "relationship" with "John" as this chick is a celebrity ***** and will then bug the daylights out of me to get his autograph for her.

That is if I have a chance, it's a good shot that's she's going to get canned for this other offense earlier today. Frankly I think she wants to get fired so she can sit home and watch soaps all day while her boyfriend supports her.

Anne

 

[safetymom]

Ignore it. People will think what they want to think no matter what you tell them. You and your husband know the real story.

 

[Daxx]

I'm not going to sue her, that's a bit ridiculous

Oh, I totally agree that you shouldn't sue her ... and it would be ridiculous to do so! But, a good threat wouldn't hurt! A "You know, I *could* sue you for slander/defamation of character ...."! Shake her up a bit!!!!

 

[grlpwrd]

...If the co-worker's going around accusing the OP of having an affair, wouldn't that be considered slander?! I'm not sure ... I'm not an attorney ... just adding a thought.

Yet isn't that what the OP is doing, too, posting here and calling the other person a whack job and celebrity *****?

 

[Daxx]

Yet isn't that what the OP is doing, too, posting here and calling the other person a whack job and celebrity *****?

Big difference as the OP's not naming any names and is not circulating this around the office where others know and have to work w/said coworker. We do not know who the coworker is! It's not as if the OP's saying "Jane Doe, at my company XYZ on 123 Main Street, Any Town, Any State USA is a psycho." The coworker remains anonymous to us. The co-worker could be my SIL for all I know!

 

[ducklite]

Big difference as the OP's not naming any names and is not circulating this around the office where others know and have to work w/said coworker. We do not know who the coworker is! It's not as if the OP's saying "Jane Doe, at my company XYZ on 123 Main Street, Any Town, Any State USA is a psycho." The coworker remains anonymous to us. The co-worker could be my SIL for all I know!

EXACTLY! I didn't even use the real name of the person I'm having dinner with for exactly this reason. No one on these boards knows where I work, no one knows which co-worker I'm referring to. It was basically put forth as a hypothetical situation, so NO ONE is being slandered.

Anne

 

[TerriP]

After thinking it over she and I are going to have a discussion about minding ones own business. I'm also going to tell her that just because SHE has not been able to have a successful marriage after two tries, doesn't mean that everyone is the same way. (yeah, I'm going to get a bit nasty) That DH and I are very happy together, and we aren't so immature and untrusting in our marriage that we aren't allowed to socialize with anyone of another gender. And that next time she wants to spread gossip about me, to fist get her facts straight and second be prepared to have a chat with HR.

That's the ticket...a "Come to Jesus" meeting is JUST what little Chatty McGossip-Hound needs!!

 

[Am_I_There_Yet]

This co-worker went stamping off basically muttering under her breath about me being a heathen and harlot.

Anyone who still uses the word "harlot" isn't worth wasting your time on, IMO. Didn't that word go out in the 18th century?

She sounds pretty old school to me, and I wouldn't give a rip about anyone's opinion other than my DH's anyway.

Give her some smelling salts and tell her to get over it.