Co-worker quit without saying goodbye! :(

[MouseJunkie]

So, I worked really closely with my co-worker (team situation - I was his subordinate) for almost 2 years and I'm kinda hurt that he didn't say a word. He just quit. I know why. So, I don't need an explanation. I just would have thought he'd at least say goodbye.

I know it's not because of our working relationship. We worked extremely well together. We won awards for the work we did. He always made a point to thank me for my work and to tell me what a good job I was doing.

I just walked in this morning and found out he just quit. I thought we had a good working relationship and I guess I'm just feeling a little betrayed as I worked my butt off for this person including weekends and sometimes from home.

Deep down, I know it's not really about me. I know he wasn't happy and was pretty sure he was likely on his way out soon. I just didn't expect it to happen the way it did. I do wish him well, but I'm just feeling like maybe he didn't think as highly of me as I do him.

I texted him this morning and wished him well (which I really meant it.), but I'm just really sad and I just can't shake it. He hasn't texted back or called or anything.

 

[clh2]

So, I worked really closely with my co-worker (team situation - I was his subordinate) for almost 2 years and I'm kinda hurt that he didn't say a word. He just quit. I know why. So, I don't need an explanation. I just would have thought he'd at least say goodbye.

I know it's not because of our working relationship. We worked extremely well together. We won awards for the work we did. He always made a point to thank me for my work and to tell me what a good job I was doing.

I just walked in this morning and found out he just quit. I thought we had a good working relationship and I guess I'm just feeling a little betrayed as I worked my butt off for this person including weekends and sometimes from home.

Deep down, I know it's not really about me. I know he wasn't happy and was pretty sure he was likely on his way out soon. I just didn't expect it to happen the way it did. I do wish him well, but I'm just feeling like maybe he didn't think as highly of me as I do him.

I texted him this morning and wished him well (which I really meant it.), but I'm just really sad and I just can't shake it. He hasn't texted back or called or anything.

Did he quit? Or was he terminated? You mentioned that you knew why...maybe he was trying to stay out of any drama.

 

[Minerva Mouse]

I completely understand where your coming from, but give him some time to explain. Maybe you don't know the whole story.

 

[MouseJunkie]

Did he quit? Or was he terminated?

He quit. I had a feeling it was coming, but he just didn't say a word.

 

[low-key]

that's how I did in the Navy, told everyone I was coming in the next morning to say bye to everyone, and I took off for home before anyone woke up. I just couldn't say goodbye (forever) to everyone

 

[MouseJunkie]

I completely understand where your coming from, but give him some time to explain. Maybe you don't know the whole story.

I kinda figure maybe he's just disengaging from all work associations and trying to reconnect with his family, but I can't help feeling the way I do.

I almost feel like he broke up with me, in a weird way.

 

[Sammy0220]

That how i would do it. I hate saying goodbye

 

[MouseJunkie]

Did he quit? Or was he terminated? You mentioned that you knew why...maybe he was trying to stay out of any drama.

Possibly...I mean he even went out his way to stick up for me over an unfair overtime policy, recently.

So, I'm kinda just dumbfounded. He didn't quit because of me (though I'm sure my OT issue played a part) , unless there's more to the story that I don't know about. He quit because of turnover, heavy workload with unrealistic demands, long hours (lack of work/life balance) and crappy pay.

 

[usnuzuloose]

I did the same thing when I left a job after 8 yrs. I thought it best not to say anything as any rumors were just that rumors because no one knew why. It was nothing personal against them.

 

[MouseJunkie]

That how i would do it. I hate saying goodbye

Maybe...doesn't stop me from feeling crappy for now though. Though from what ya'll are saying, maybe I'm taking this too personally.

 

[Jillpie]

I don't think you're taking it personally. I actually think after working so closely to him, you kind of deserve a goodbye? Doesn't make sense. Would you ever just give him a quick call?

 

[burnurcomputer]

Just because you got along at work it does not mean that he is a friend to you. It easy to have a friendly relationship at work when you are in a team, even sharing some personalish things like kids, funny stories about a spouse, or standing up for an injustice in the work enviroment. But, that does not mean that you are friends or that he owes you anything.

When I put in my 2 week notice at my job ,years back, many people were schocked and surprised because they all thought they knew me very well. In actuality, I shared only anecdotes of my life but people felt invested because I was a friendly person. I was leaving to get married and had never shared specifics about my wedding date so people assumed it was around a year after we were engaged, which was not the case at all. I had people upset that they weren't invited to the wedding after the DON shared with the scheduler, who shared with everyone why I was leaving.

I enjoyed the people at work but they weren't my friends, they were my coworkers with whom I had a good report. I did not or do not feel like I should have contacted them after leaving.

It is very possible that you felt more invested in him as a person, but he may have just been a friendly coworker.

Where did you get his cell number from? Did he give it to you to hang out with him in after work hours, like to go out personally and have a platonic work date or was it for work purposes or on a work contact list? If it was not given to you to use for platonic work dates and was for work purposes.....I would skip on the contact and just delete it because your contacting him could be considered very inappropriate. I also mention this because it is highly doubtful someone left work for any reason to have to do with you, as you have mentioned might or might not be a possibility. If you had no idea about his leaving....then he is more then likely going to delete your text because its none of your business and he no longer works with you so he doesn't really give a rip because you worked together. Period.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

Sometimes when people quit abruptly, they are escorted out by HR. That could have been the case with your co-worker and he didn't have a chance to say goodbye. It's also possible that he's been told not to have any contact with anyone in the company, so he's not returning your calls.

 

[powellrj]

I did the same thing when I left my job. I didn't expect to quit when I did or how I did and I was so overwhelmed by everything that was going on in my life that I have just walked away from everything. I had one friend that had left the year before I did and I still keep in contact with her because she was sick at the time she left and I am concerned about her health, but I haven't talked to any of my other co-workers.

 

[MolonLabe]

You said he was your supervisor...

Perhaps all you two had was a work relationship. Work is over, so is the relationship.

You mentioned he stood up for you a few times. Perhaps he was standing up to bad policies and not for you in particular, even if you felt that way.

He was just doing the right thing.

It's been awhile since I've been in that spot but when I supervised a dept, I didn't take time to say good bye to everyone I worked over. I just shook the dust off and moved on.

It's probably the same thing, he was in a bad environment and is moving on. Also, you may be one of many people looking for an extra explanation... how many times would you want to rehash that if you were him?

 

[Pea-n-Me]

He may not be ready to talk about it just yet. I'm sure his emotions are running high if he up and quit. Give it some time. You may or may or may not ever hear back from him, but know that it was probably much bigger than you're imagining (it always is) and probably had very little to do with you, if anything. People keep a lot of work problems to themselves, but once you hear details it can be astounding what actually went on. Therefore, try not to take it personally, IMO.

 

[castmemberb4]

Two years is so little. I worked with someone for 13 years who quit, we understood, but she almost walked away without saying GoodBye. I stopped her and gave her a hug.

 

[Hrhpd]

Maybe...doesn't stop me from feeling crappy for now though. Though from what ya'll are saying, maybe I'm taking this too personally.

I kinda figure maybe he's just disengaging from all work associations and trying to reconnect with his family, but I can't help feeling the way I do.

I almost feel like he broke up with me, in a weird way.

This is very telling. If you are feeling like he broke up with you, you have way more invested emotionally in this person than just a co-worker situation.

You said he treated you very well and very professionally. He said thank you for your work, he supported you when he needed to. But it sounds like the consummate professional boss.

If you are having romantic feelings for him, feeling like it is a breakup, you need to back away, take a deep breath and remember that your relationship with the guy was a work relationship and nothing more.

Possibly...I mean he even went out his way to stick up for me over an unfair overtime policy, recently.

So, I'm kinda just dumbfounded. He didn't quit because of me (though I'm sure my OT issue played a part) , unless there's more to the story that I don't know about. He quit because of turnover, heavy workload with unrealistic demands, long hours (lack of work/life balance) and crappy pay.

Sounds like he had some very valid reasons to leave, all involving a poor work environment. So, don't take it personally.

 

[Bob NC]

A lot of folks confuse "friendly co-workers" with "friends."

If you and your coworker spent weekends at each others houses, went on vacations together, etc, I could see it unusual he didn't say goodbye.

If you were just co-workers, you are just cogs in the same machine.

I think maybe you thought you were friends while he thought differently.

 

[ez]

I left my job of 18 years without letting anyone know or saying goodbye to anyone. (except one person my very best friend) I had a new baby and there was something wrong because he was unable to drink out of a bottle, and other things, later turned out to be autistic but we didnt know that at the time. I was so stressed over the decision I had to make and the loss of income that for the 2 weeks after I gave my notice I was kinda sick to my stomach, and I certainly didnt want to be discussing it with anyone. I had a perfect employee record and perfect sick leave for many years. My manager who of course knew I was leaving, came over to me at the end of the day and told me to turn in my badge. No goodbye good luck or anything. Gotta love the Post Office.