Class Placement Request?

[MNT568]

My DS's school sent a letter home regarding class placement for next year. The letter states that you can not request a specific teacher but does ask for any parent input regarding placement. My DS will be going into the 4th grade. There is one boy who my DS has had issues with since kindergarten. They just seem to rub each other the wrong way. They were in the same 1st grade class and the teacher had to keep their seats separated and she never put them in the same work group. They have not been together since. I asked my DS if there is anyone he doesn't want in his class next year and he mentioned this boy. He said that he is bothering him at recess.

I have never requested that my DS not be placed with a certain child. However, I am considering sending the letter back asking that my DS not be placed with this child. I kind of feel bad doing this, singling out another child like this. But I don't want my DS to have miserable year.

Has anyone else ever requested that their child not be placed with another child?

 

[JoyG]

That sounds like a perfectly reasonable request.

 

[Just Jan]

Definately mention that these two boys need to be separated and the reason (s). I was an assistant in an elementary school for many years and the teachers always took this into consideration. Hopefully the teachers in your school will include the assistants in placement as we see how kids interact in the lunchroom and playground too. Chances are someone may mention this during placement meetings, but I would definately write it down.

 

[aka-mad4themouse]

I did.

There was a boy who was, shall we say "a bad influence" on my DS when he was in Gr. 4. The kid was not a "bad" kid. It's just that the two of them together was a bad combination. They distracted each other in class and pretty much ran the show on the playground. I mentioned this to his teacher at the end-of-year conference and she was the one who suggested that I request that the two boys be separated the following year.

In Gr. 5, my DS made a whole new set of friends. Some of them were boys that he had nothing to do with the year before because of Teddy's influence. DS is now a freshman in HS and those "new" friends are still some of his best buddies. Teddy is nowhere to be found.

In my case, I owned up to the fact that my DS was part of the problem. He was not a nice kid when he was with Teddy. And having a teacher who saw eye to eye with me on the matter helped.

 

[Just Jan]

I just wanted to add...Don't feel bad about making this request. It will be saving the teacher (along with your son) a lot of grief as well LOL.
Jan

 

[minniecarousel]

It's perfectly reasonable to request that your son NOT be placed in the same class as a particular boy.

 

[ktturner]

I'm a fourth grade teacher. Let me tell you, we'd rather know that in advance! Please turn in those names. We do it as well. If you have a chronic problem with this and turn in so many names it is difficult to seperate your child, that is different. But there is no reason to make an already difficult year worse by complicating it with students who already are at odds.

Also, if there is a teacher you prefer, the way around this system is to describe him/her and their teaching styles. For example, My son learns best when he is in a highly structered environment that also promotes fun in learning and is motivational. He learns best from teachers who are supportive and guide him in his learning experiences.

blah, blah, blah, you get the idea. If you know of a teacher who is especially _______, and you want them, simply describe that _______ to a t and say it is how your child learns best or suits his needs the best. . . it's not a guarantee, but I've seen it work many times. Good luck!

 

[polkadotminnie]

I'm a fourth grade teacher. Let me tell you, we'd rather know that in advance! Please turn in those names. We do it as well. If you have a chronic problem with this and turn in so many names it is difficult to seperate your child, that is different. But there is no reason to make an already difficult year worse by complicating it with students who already are at odds.

Also, if there is a teacher you prefer, the way around this system is to describe him/her and their teaching styles. For example, My son learns best when he is in a highly structered environment that also promotes fun in learning and is motivational. He learns best from teachers who are supportive and guide him in his learning experiences.

blah, blah, blah, you get the idea. If you know of a teacher who is especially _______, and you want them, simply describe that _______ to a t and say it is how your child learns best or suits his needs the best. . . it's not a guarantee, but I've seen it work many times. Good luck!

I am a second grade teacher and I agree 100%.

 

[daisyduck123]

Hi! 1st grade teacher here :

Send in a note stating your request.
It's no big deal...we get a few of those every year.

 

[RLccweems]

I did this...and I'm so glad I did. My ds is so much happier. You really need to do what you thinnk is best for your child.


lettie

 

[MNT568]

Thanks for all your replys. You all made me feel better. I am going to send a note to school requesting something like "for the piece of mind of all involve, please place these boys in different classrooms". I don't want to come off as one of those parents who thinks her child is perfect. I know my DS is as much at fault as the other boy.

Thanks again.

 

[mickeyboat]

My DD's are both in first grade this year, and will be going together to second next year. Every year since Pre-K I have requested they not be put into the same classroom, and the school has never had a problem honoring that request. I don't even have to ask anymore. And they would be sorry if they put them together.

I think the problem with requests comes when parents try to take all the discretion away from the teachers and administrators when they demand their child have a certain teacher, classroom, curriculum, etc. I figure for the most part, teachers know a whole lot more about teaching than I do, and unless I have a huge problem, I am going to trust their judgment.

OP - Good luck to you. Make sure you give the teachers the opportunity to discuss your son's issues with this child if she would like more information.

Maybe say something like this: Placement with a particular teacher is not a concern. However, in the past DS and Little Johnny have had confrontrations which I feel might detract from the learning environment of both involved. I would like to request the boys be placed in separate classrooms. If you have any questions or would like to discuss this further, please don't hesitate to contact me.

 

[ckay87]

Also, if there is a teacher you prefer, the way around this system is to describe him/her and their teaching styles. For example, My son learns best when he is in a highly structered environment that also promotes fun in learning and is motivational. He learns best from teachers who are supportive and guide him in his learning experiences.

I just wanted to know that I am in the middle of doing a teacher request myself and I literally copied and pasted that part of your message! Thank you - is it okay if I don't cite my source? That would be weird

OP - Do it and don't worry. I did it myself way back when my first son (now 14) was in Kindergarten. He never, to this day (8th grade) has had a class with the kid again.

It's tricky - you want to teach your kids to deal with the bumps rather than avoid them, but there is a fine line where the bumps become road blocks. It's sometimes hard to identify when that happens, but it sounds like you got it right. Good luck.

 

[debster812]

I made just the same type of request for 3rd grade for DS. He had a REALLY rough second grade year, courtesy of one little twerp on the bus going from school to their after care program. I called and spoke with DS's teacher, and the guidance counselor. Both of them assured me that these types of requests were fine, and it ended up that this boy moved out of town over the summer anyway.

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

I'm a fourth grade teacher.

Also, if there is a teacher you prefer, the way around this system is to describe him/her and their teaching styles. For example, My son learns best when he is in a highly structered environment that also promotes fun in learning and is motivational. He learns best from teachers who are supportive and guide him in his learning experiences.

blah, blah, blah, you get the idea. If you know of a teacher who is especially _______, and you want them, simply describe that _______ to a t and say it is how your child learns best or suits his needs the best. . . it's not a guarantee, but I've seen it work many times. Good luck!

we do this! It was suggested by DD's second grade teacher - after DD clearly had a bad year with her 1st grade teacher. Second grade teacher asked "what happened to this poor child???". Luckily she was the best teacher and helped our DD bounce back...then suggested this for us. Last year was also the first year the teachers were allowed to give input so that helped as well.

I agree - therre is nothing wrong with your request! I would do it!

 

[Dory's Twin]

Now this is funny....

I worked with a teacher (both of us teachers in the school reading lab)...until she decided to take a classroom.

Her second year, she went from teaching 3rd grade to teaching 5th grade....my son was entering 5th grade. She sent a note to the 5th grade teachers requesting that my son not be put into her class!!!

They all knew then that she was crazy! She cited differences with the "parent". I had spent years not letting the cat out of the bag about how I despised her and her teaching style(more like bullying-style). As a teacher, you can't speak ill of another teacher in the building, so I just kept mum.. I had spent years teaching at that school, so they all knew I wasn't difficult!

Needless to say she didn't last long at the school!

 

[Just Jan]

for the piece of mind of all involved,

LOL, I LOVE how you stated that!
When kids in the same classroom that mix like oil and water..............by 1pm your ready to pound your head on the desk.

 

[ktturner]

I just wanted to know that I am in the middle of doing a teacher request myself and I literally copied and pasted that part of your message! Thank you - is it okay if I don't cite my source? That would be weird
Good luck.

No problem. I believe a citation would really be inappropriate! I'm glad it was helpful. I have parents ask this so often, and that is my answer. That and make sure the person your focusing on is really what your kiddo needs. . .

Good luck with your request!

 

[poohs_hunny]

The letter you received sounds just like the one my district sends out. My advice would be to send in the request. If these boys end up together, not only will they be miserable, but so will the teacher. We do our share of separations for the next year if we know there is a problem between students, but since your son and this other boy haven't been together since 1st grade, it is very possible that the teachers don't know about their history. You're not requesting a certain teacher, so go ahead and send in the request.

 

[Rock'n Robin]

I do this. For DD#2 I requested she not be with her best friend in grades 1-3. They at that time did dance together and were together about every minute, and the bf tended to overshadow DD sometimes, so I thought being away from her would be a good idea. It turned out she wasn't placed with her in grades 4-5 either--and they are on the same 6th grade team, but in no classes together. It does work out. They are still best friends, but not together too much.
For DS in grade 1-3 I wanted a teacher who would understand he is sensitive and not the tough boy (although he is getting tougher). For grade 3 I asked for someone good at math skills. For next year I asked for a teacher good with parent communication (newsletters, etc.--I like his teacher but it is work to find out what is going on when). I never request anyone specific. Out of the four teachers in grade 4, 3 were new this year and one will (or should) retire this year, so I don't know anything about any of them. I am placing my hopes in the principal's hands. She takes the letters to meetings of the teachers and they figure out who goes where next August. God bless her, she always does an awesome job, and I just found out she is retiring. I was going to ask for a male teacher for grade 5 too since DS hasn't had one. I hope the new principal is as accomodating when that time comes. Can it be that DS only has 2 years left of elementary school?
Robin M.