Class Fundraiser - Opinions

[RachelEllen]

I'd love people's opinion's on my DSS's school's fundraiser. I'm really uncomfortable with this, but, as a stepmom, I'm keeping my mouth shut!

He goes to private school, and their big fundraiser each year is a benefit dinner and auction in the spring. The tickets to the fundraiser are expensive, and parents are being asked to give voluntary donations and a class "gift basket" donation for the auction.

Fine so far. However, now we got notice that another tradition is that each class in the lower school has a class party, thrown by parents, and tickets are sold to the party at the benefit. We got an email asking for volunteers to host the party, along with a note that the kids really want a dance.

I'm so uncomfortable with this for so many reasons. One, I really feel 4th grade is too young for a dance. Especially a dance hosted at someone's house. Then, why on earth would they talk this up amongst the kids? In order to buy tickets, which are I don't know how much money, you have to attend a $100 a ticket fundraising dinner. I'm sure many parents will not be able to afford it. Why create this big "dance" event (the very first one in their grade) talked up in the fourth grade, that only some kids can attend.

If they have to do this, why not have a low key pizza and movie night. Or ice cream sunday's after school one day.

I guess this is half vent half hoping for commiseration. I don't know if I'm cut out to be a tween parent!

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

My boys have been going to school dances since the 2nd grade. No "couples" things - just fun dance parties.

As for these "fund raisers", they amount to asking for the parents to write large checks to the school. Not the kind of "fund raisers" that I would support...

 

[RachelEllen]

My boys have been going to school dances since the 2nd grade. No "couples" things - just fun dance parties.

As for these "fund raisers", they amount to asking for the parents to write large checks to the school. Not the kind of "fund raisers" that I would support...

Yeah, I might be over the top with worrying about a dance. We just didn't start having them until middle school, so my perspective on what a school dance is is colored by that. But it will be a big deal to the kids.

I also don't mind the fundraiser. We can afford it, and really like the school, so we did write a large check. But I hate the nickle and diming on top of that. ($20 for the grade level basket. $100 for the auction tickets.) And then to get the kids involved in the pressure because of their "first dance" yuck! (And some parents are pressed just with tuition. Who needs peer pressure for their kids on top of that)

 

[happygirl]

I guess I have a bad stereotypical image of a private school parent RICH, I guess that's not the case.

I don't see the big deal about the dance party. It's not like they are going to be playing slow love songs ( or I hope not any way)

 

[RachelEllen]

I guess I have a bad stereotypical image of a private school parent RICH, I guess that's not the case.

I don't see the big deal about the dance party. It's not like they are going to be playing slow love songs ( or I hope not any way)

Some parents at the school are RICH. Some are like us, really lucky to have two good jobs in the family and able to afford the school with some moderate sacrifice in other things. Some parents are really stretching. And some are on financial aid.

The public schools in are our area are not good. So this is a priority to us.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

In TX I went to a "rich" public school. They did the same thing. Only it was the parents that had "the dance", along with their fancy dinner and auction along with the gift baskets. The auction was a ruse for the parents to donate thousands of dollars.

They would raise a mega amounts of money this way. The "rich people" did this and would use their businesses to make donations so they could write it off on their taxes.

Yea, did they beat the PTA system this way, you betcha. However they felt a need to do this since TX schools fall under the "Robin Hood" mandate. Basically money was taken away from the "richer" schools and given to the "poorer" schools.

All I can say, if it works don't break it.

ETA.......As far as "the kid dance" that is funny. My dd went to her 7th grade dance and it was a bunch of kids talking and little dancing. No big whoop. Your dd won't miss anything if she does not go. I would stop stressing about it.

 

[RachelEllen]

I have no problem with the auction or fundraising or all that stuff. Like I said, we just wrote a check to the annual fund. I just don't like the fact that now they are pushing this dance to the kids that is going to cost parents several hundred dollars for their kid to attend. Doesn't seem right to create such a have vs have not aura around a school dance.

Actually, I just got a call from my husband that he feels the same way. I think he's going to write the room mom asking if we could please make the party a little low key. We were not planning to attend the benefit auction (we gave all we can afford with the check) and so our son will not be able to go to the party.

I appreciate all the other opinions, however. Like I said, I'm staying out of this, so this is my only forum to get other's opinions and express my own.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I have no problem with the auction or fundraising or all that stuff. Like I said, we just wrote a check to the annual fund. I just don't like the fact that now they are pushing this dance to the kids that is going to cost parents several hundred dollars for their kid to attend. Doesn't seem right to create such a have vs have not aura around a school dance.

Actually, I just got a call from my husband that he feels the same way. I think he's going to write the room mom asking if we could please make the party a little low key. We were not planning to attend the benefit auction (we gave all we can afford with the check) and so our son will not be able to go to the party.

I appreciate all the other opinions, however. Like I said, I'm staying out of this, so this is my only forum to get other's opinions and express my own.

Here is the thing....

You are teaching your child that "life is fair" and is not. Disappointment is a normal thing for a child to learn.

Yes, your child will be "left out" however she will survive it.

If you want to host a fundraiser party then you do it YOUR WAY. To go after parents that are trying to raise money for the school is cutting off your nose to spite your face in my book.

But then again, my kids are older and I have been there, done that. I know when to keep my trap shut when it comes to school fundraisers having been in the PTA.

 

[mjkacmom]

How many fundraisers do they have? My kids go to public school, and our ONLY fundraiser is a tricky tray (basket auction). The tickets are reasonable - about $40 - which includes a full sit-down dinner, and parents are asked to donate a basket worth a certain amount of money. I gave a DSi this year. The whole thing cost me about $200, and I'm done for the year.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

I have no problem with the auction or fundraising or all that stuff. Like I said, we just wrote a check to the annual fund. I just don't like the fact that now they are pushing this dance to the kids that is going to cost parents several hundred dollars for their kid to attend. Doesn't seem right to create such a have vs have not aura around a school dance.

Actually, I just got a call from my husband that he feels the same way. I think he's going to write the room mom asking if we could please make the party a little low key. We were not planning to attend the benefit auction (we gave all we can afford with the check) and so our son will not be able to go to the party.

I appreciate all the other opinions, however. Like I said, I'm staying out of this, so this is my only forum to get other's opinions and express my own.

I would tell my child that we have already donated in other ways, so they would not be attending the dance. Within a week of the dance, it will be ancient history...

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I would tell my child that we have already donated in other ways, so they would not be attending the dance. Within a week of the dance, it will be ancient history...

Exactly.

 

[RachelEllen]

How many fundraisers do they have? My kids go to public school, and our ONLY fundraiser is a tricky tray (basket auction). The tickets are reasonable - about $40 - which includes a full sit-down dinner, and parents are asked to donate a basket worth a certain amount of money. I gave a DSi this year. The whole thing cost me about $200, and I'm done for the year.

The spring auction is the biggest fundraising event. Tickets are $100 each. There are numerous small events throughout the year that actually raise money for this fundraising. (Wine and cheese parties, that sort of thing) Then, we are asked to donate items to the auction. We have also been asked, as part of the grade to donate to the grade "auction basket"

There is also the annual fund that you can just donate to. We had budgeted "X" amount to donate to the school for the entire year. We happened to get a phone call just last night from an annual fund voluneer and we went ahead and pledged "X" as it was convienant. I think "X," while it will not be getting us on any plaques, is a generous amount.

We have had no issue /at all/ with any of the fundraising. Much preferred to gift wrap sales

We got this new email, about the party, this morning. It's the first thing we've had an issue with.

I guess I'm just suprised that no one else would have a problem with their 10 year old being hyped for a party at school that will cost over $200 for them to attend.

 

[Crystal0608]

$100 plus buying a ticket to dance at someone's house? Wow, thats the cost of prom!

My dd's school won an award so they are having a dance for the 4th & 5th graders in the school gym. Advanced tickets $3/door $4- dj included, pizza slice $1, soda or snack .50, so about $6 per kid including supper. It's all my dd has been talking about this week.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

...I guess I'm just suprised that no one else would have a problem with their 10 year old being hyped for a party at school that will cost over $200 for them to attend.

I have a bigger problem with the political hype that they are exposed to. This doesn't end. Their entire lives they will be exposed to ideas and expectations. We can't teach them that all are to be accepted. We have to think for ourselves and choose wisely what to do or believe...

 

[RachelEllen]

$100 plus buying a ticket to dance at someone's house? Wow, thats the cost of prom!

My dd's school won an award so they are having a dance for the 4th & 5th graders in the school gym. Advanced tickets $3/door $4- dj included, pizza slice $1, soda or snack .50, so about $6 per kid including supper. It's all my dd has been talking about this week.

$200 would be the cost for two parents just to attend the fundraising benefit to have the ability to purchase tickets for the party. So the actual party would cost a two parent family more.

 

[krcit]

Are you sure that tickets will not be available to purchase outside of the auction/dance? That seems a bit unfair. Money issues aside, I'm sure not everyone can make it to the auction because of prior committments/work. I would find out if other arrangements for buying tickets can be made IF you want her to go to the dance. As far as the dance I wouldn't worry, my kids school has a 'dance' for the 4th,5th and 6th grade. The boys are on one side, the girls on the other and once in a while the DJ plays a big group dance like the Electric Slide and they all dance. It's cute. I am fed up with the fundraisers at our school so everything now goes in the garbage. They have about 10 a year plus all the food drives and Toys for Tots and Help for Haiti. It never ends and I can't do it anymore, just don't have the $ and I don't feel bad at all.

 

[RachelEllen]

No, that was just confirmed. You can only get the tickets at the fundraiser. The whole point of the party is to encourge parents to attend the fundraiser. I'm not just annoyed on behalf of DSS. Although I have a feeling my husband will say no to the dance based on the cost, we certainly could swing it if we really wanted to. And we definitely could have done it if we had known about this yesterday before we pledged to the annual fund! But I know there are many kids whose parents cannot afford this.

 

[krcit]

No, that was just confirmed. You can only get the tickets at the fundraiser. The whole point of the party is to encourge parents to attend the fundraiser. I'm not just annoyed on behalf of DSS. Although I have a feeling my husband will say no to the dance based on the cost, we certainly could swing it if we really wanted to. And we definitely could have done it if we had known about this yesterday before we pledged to the annual fund! But I know there are many kids whose parents cannot afford this.

Wow!! That's terrible. I agree with you completely. I think I would have to open my mouth about that one, lol.