Christmas shopping and DH!!!

[golfgal]

I am so tired of this year after year. I come up with ideas to get the kids for Christmas and DH doesn't "like" the ideas yet he never has any ideas of his own. We are getting the puppy and then I thought we could get the kids a new computer, they have our old one and it just doesn't work any more so we are all trying to get on this computer. DH doesn't want to get another computer. I quit. He gets to do the Christmas shopping this year!!!!!

 

[KelNottAt]

I can relate! DH and I always have a talk around Thanksgiving to firm up our plans for what to give the kids. I even put it in writing for him! Then, by now (Dec 6), he has forgotten everything we agreed to and starts second-guessing everything I've done so far.

Then, he gets going with the "you don't have to do everything; I can help, too" speech. (Like he feels guilty that I'm so stressed, plus he feels left out.) So I say "OK...you're responsible for getting DD her ___________." Well, guess what. He doesn't follow through and actually make the purchase until the last minute.

This adds more to my stress and leads to more offers from him to "help." I say, "sure, as soon as you get DD her ___________, I'll let you know what else you can do." This burns him up b/c I'm treating him like a child. Well, duh! If he demonstrated he could help more, I'd ask him to do more. But when he can't even accomplish one thing before Dec 23, there's no way I'm giving him lots to do.

(In his defense, he's self employed and works about 80 hours, 7 days a week. I really regret having him to anything cuz he has no time. But, he insists on participating. So, I'm in a catch-22 no matter what: Either I let him help and risk that he doesn't come through, or I get all stressed out cuz I do it all myself while excluding DH and hurting his feelings.)

 

[CEDmom]

Wow, sorry about this. Can't you just go ahead and get what you think they'd like? As long as you don't break the bank what's the big deal. Honestly, my DH will ask what DD wants and what we're getting but beyond that he leaves it up to me. Since he's working full time and in school his spare time is very limited. Plus I just like being the planner.

 

[KelNottAt]

Wow, sorry about this. Can't you just go ahead and get what you think they'd like? As long as you don't break the bank what's the big deal. Honestly, my DH will ask what DD wants and what we're getting but beyond that he leaves it up to me. Since he's working full time and in school his spare time is very limited. Plus I just like being the planner.

Yes, if time is running out, I do usually go ahead and buy what he's responsible for...so we'll have it as a back-up. If he comes through with the purchase, then I just take mine back and he never knows the difference. I hate being a sneak like that, but even doing the extra work is a little better than losing sleep over DD's iPod. This year, I take matters into my own hands on Dec 16.

I love being the planner, too. Just wish I could be left alone to finish. It's much easier that way.

 

[golfgal]

I always buy the Christmas presents and then get to listen to him gripe about it. His idea of Christmas would be no gifts and we would just sit around and be happy about it. My Dh is the cheapest man alive, and I mean that is a good way . It isn't that we don't have the money he just doesn't like to spend money, ever. He thinks I should be able to outfit 3 kids year round, in MN so they need summer clothing, fall/spring clothing and winter clothing, for $100 TOTAL. Because he never shops he is just out of touch with reality about how much stuff costs and our kids aren't into name brand anything either. He thinks we should be able to feed a family of 5 on $100/month, not realistic. Our kids are at tough ages right now, not into clothing yet and too old for "toys". They don't really have anything on their Christmas lists and what little they do have the Grandparents already bought them. I thought getting a computer would be a great solution, easy shopping and something they all will like. My next idea is a BIG tv, 50" or so, which is twice as much as the computer. I have no more ideas after that.