Christmas budget for kids and grandkids

[Cruising Engineer]

We don't have kids or grandchildren but have a niece and nephew, both married. For my niece and her husband, we get them a case of very good wine. She's an engineer and he is a doctor. It's a gift, they don't need the money. For my nephew and family, I get each a small useful gift (PJs for the kids, scarf, sweatshirt, gloves, etc. for the adults). Each child gets a DGC because they are going to MK and DCL next year and the family gets $500 to spend on what they need.

 

[RogueX]

My daughter is 13 and my only child, so she's had the benefit of getting many gifts over the years. While we don't set a specific budget for gifts, we evaluate our current financial situation and go from there.

As she has so many toys, we started gifting "experiences" together, like going to the chocolate bar in Boston, a trip to the zoo in a nearby state later in the year, and sometimes an add on to a Disney trip, such as Disney After Hours at Magic Kingdom.

 

[Ellie008]

When DH and I were dating my parents got him a small gift. When we got married they would give him a gift nearly equal in value to what they gave me. When we had kids, they got their own budget. Each grandchild gets a similar $ value in gifts each year.
MIL has two children (DH and sibling). When DH and I were dating she got me a token gift. When we were first married that continued. To me it felt unwelcoming. Everyone else was exchanging nice gifts and I got to sit and watch and then open one small gift that usually seemed to be a regift rather than something she actually picked out for me. It wasn't that I was greedy for more gifts, I truly didn't care about the gift itself, but the level of difference in price, number of gifts, plus the lack of thought was hurtful to me. Years and years later, DH now tells her something to get me and it is closer in value to what she gives her own kids. Sibling never married, never had kids. When we had kids they got their own budget.

When my own kids are older I plan to do equal gifts. Kids and spouses each get one amount per person, grandkids each get one amount. You don't get penalized with a smaller gift because you decided to have kids. And I would never spend different amounts on grandkids from each family just because one family had more kids. That seems like a recipe for disaster.

 

[tinkerone]

Here's my game plan. I purchase those photo boxes you can get at the craft stores, the ones that are about the size of a shoe box. I put stocking stuffer type stuff in them and then an envelope with $250 inside. That is for each of my adult children, spouse (only one is married) and grandchildren. I started doing this about fifteen years ago, once it started to get to be to much trying to figure out what each person wanted and trying to keep things even. I'm way past that, sometimes it's good to be old, lol.
Yup, in my house cash is king. They can buy their own gifts .

 

[RamblingMad]

I usually do $50 Amazon gift cards.

I’m not doing Christmas exchange this year. And I let everyone know.

 

[_19disnA]

There are probably as many variations to how this gets handled as there are participants on this forum. The $$$ amount (regardless of whether by family or per person) depends on someone's financial means and what past practice has been within the families, I don't see a value in discussing amounts on here. What does make sense is if the adults get together ahead of time and agree on what they plan to do for this year. Everyone in your extended family may not be as financially well off as you are and perhaps don't want to discuss that with their extended family. I doubt in most large extended families if you even know the financial situation/income for the others and probably don't discuss yours with them as well. Maybe someone is changing jobs or had large medical expenses and can't afford what they did in the past. Maybe some family member got married within the last year and now there is a whole new 'extended family' to consider......etc. Others should be sensitive to that when making their plans.

I know some large extended families draw names and each person only gets ONE gift with an agreed upon price limit. Just depends on what works for your situation.

 

[wishuponastar1984]

There is no right answer other than don’t spend more than you can afford to on Christmas. Growing up my mom was very careful that each child got the exact same number of gifts. We are one of the annoying families that only one person at a time opens a gifts and we go around the room till all the gifts are gone so kids would notice if they didn’t have a gift while others had things still under the tree. As an adult I sort of get it but adults shouldn’t be sitting around with a calculator as folks are opening gifts. I finally got my mom to stop the math madness. I am single but have a very successful career, so I really don’t need anything and just appreciate that she buys me things that she thinks I would like. My sister and her husband have much more modest jobs and also have a son. I really don’t care if she spends more on them than she does on me. It would be a little awkward if one person was snubbed with an unthoughtful cheap gift while others were showered with expensive items but I always love that she is very thoughtful (not always expensive) gifts she gets me as she really thinks about what I would enjoy but may not think to buy myself. She always asks for lists from all of us and I try to come up with several inexpensive items as she can satisfy her urge to have relatively the same amount of gifts for us. Last year my sister really needed a laptop and I was genuinely happy that she got one.


If there are youngish grandkids and there is uneven mix amongst families then I would try to keep things pretty “even” as kids are more sensitive to things. Gift giving doesn’t have to be tit for tat and if one year someone gets something more then be happy for them if it is something they really needed.

 

[amcnj]

I try to keep things close, but don’t sweat it if it is not always exact. Especially if I was buying actual gifts versus cash or a gift card.

I would set an overall budget and keep things kind of equal for each person in a certain category (child, son/daughter-in-law, grandchild).

 

[DisneyHardin]

So, before you were married, did you receive $1000.00 worth of gifts from your parents? Or less? This is my concern. When my DD gets married - am I expected to then give $2000.00?

Not the person you were quoting, but thought I would chime in on what my Mom did. Before my sister and I were married, Mom usually spent about $300 each on us for Christmas. After we got married, she upped that to about $400 per couple. She prefers to buy a household gift if there is something we need, but will buy individual gifts if there isn't a household thing we need. She doesn't worry about dividing out as $300 for sis and I and $100 for the son in laws, but generally Sis and I get more than our spouses if we don't get a household gift. Not too scientific, but it works in our family.

 

[Tallis]

All grandchildren get about the same amount spent on them ... $30 -$40. I pick something from their Amazon wish list in that price range. I don't like the "per family" idea as some families have 3 children, some none or one child.

Adults in our family don't exchange gifts. With over 20 of us, from my parents down, just too much pressure and financial investment.

I do make a stocking for the youngest two adult children who are still living at home. Mostly edibles.

Instead of gifts, we have a big family get together on Christmas eve. All the adults bring a wrapped ornament. We play a white elephant style game with them. I usually bring vintage ornaments and they are always popular.

 

[pxidst119]

For years my mom would buy tons of stuff for everyone. We would leave with so much It was overwhelming. We have switched to pick a name among the adults with an agreed upon dollar limit so we all get one nice gift. Mom still insists she buys for all the grandchildren and we still buy one thing for them from the grandchildren. On DHs side we pick a name and we have recently added our teens in this. They really like giving and getting one nice gift. Everyone gets a nice gift and it simplifies the shopping aspect for everyone.

 

[AnnaS]

I have three "kids" married - two have children/one just got married.

Son 1 - has three children - each child gets $$ plus a small gift to open - son and dil - get $ same amount each
Son 2 - has one child - child gets same amount/small gift to open as each child from Son 1 - son and dil - get same amount as Son 1 & dil
Daughter 3 - just married - each one will get same amount as my sons and dil's

The 4 grandchildren are all under age 5. They have everything and all the toys/games/arts crafts I can think of. I go to the store, walk down the aisle and repeat, they have this, they have this, they have this, etc. Even though they don't "need" any extra's, I will get something small in the $20 range for them to open in addition to the $$.

I know the parents save the $$ for their future in their own accounts.

 

[luvsJack]

I have done it different ways over the years.

When all 3 were unmarried, I spent the same amount on each child.

When the oldest was the only married and no children I divided his budget between him and his wife.

When younger ds got married and had a baby, I divided his budget between the three. (The baby actually got more of course but that was my starting budget).

Now they are all married. Yds has two children and his gf has one. Older ds has two children. So now, I spend the same amount on everyone. I tell them what I am spending and they decide if they would like a couple gift or individual gifts. If they want a family gift, the children still get a separate gift to open.

Now that, again, is my starting budget. If one of the three needs something, I will get it. Any “extra” gifts for my child or any of the grandchildren will be given to open at their house. At my house, everyone gets the same number of gifts in their age group (so each of my kids/kids in law get the same number and each grandchild gets the same number).

The only person I give money to is ods’s oldest. He is a teenager and likes cash. Besides between two sets of parents and 4 sets of grandparents, there isn’t much to buy him.