Chore/responsibility charts

[TwistGrl101]

So as school is starting up, I need to start getting DD8, DD6, and DS3 on a better schedule/routine and start getting them to help out a little more.
I am thinking that each kid will have his/her own chart with individual chores to fit his/her needs.
I just don't know where to go from there.
I wanted to do some type of reward system. Do I do something like give a star for each completed chore? Then they can redeem a certain amount of stars for a reward?
How do you implement a chore chart and reward system in your homes, and what are some age appropriate chores so I can make sure I'm not missing something?

 

[erincon23]

I had something like that for my kids. They got points for everything - not just chores, but completing homework, As on tests or quizzes, and since I had a hygiene-averse child, he got points for brushing his teeth without being prompted, etc. They could turn points in for a pre-set list of rewards- small ones were ice cream out, lunch at McDonalds, etc., or save them for a new video game or a bigger day out.

Chores we had - emptying the dishwasher, feeding the dog, folding towels, pulling weeds, dusting, cleaning up after dinner. I'm sure there were more, but this is more than 10 years ago! It worked well -- I really only had to do it for my younger son (the above-mentioned child), but since I did it for one, had to do it for the older one too, even though he didn't need the prompting or reward system.

 

[dyna]

It only works if both parents are on board. DH would never back me with the chore charts etc an would do the work for the DD's an give them the point for doing it GRRRRRRRRRRRRR

 

[hereyago]

It only works if both parents are on board. DH would never back me with the chore charts etc an would do the work for the DD's an give them the point for doing it GRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Please don't take this as a jab, but how does he think your kids will learn basic living skills?

For the record, my exdh is the same, but he knows since dd14 lives with me that she has to help.

 

[aaarcher86]

Please don't take this as a jab, but how does he think your kids will learn basic living skills?

For the record, my exdh is the same, but he knows since dd14 lives with me that she has to help.

I disagree with not giving kids chores, but I didn't have any and I managed to figure it out when I needed to I'm sure he thinks she'll work it out too.

 

[mom2travel]

Our kids are 13 & 18 now. They never had any set chores. We took the approach that everyone in the family needs to contribute around the house. We'd adapt what each did based upon age and schedule. For example, on a day when one had a long practice after school & alot of homework, they might not do anything, but on an open day would help however needed. It worked for us. Both kids know how to cook, clean, do laundry, take care of the pets, shop for food, etc.

My problem with chore charts is really just that they didn't fit nicely into our life. It would have been more work for me! Plus I didn't want the kids to grow up thinking they get rewarded for everything they do - sometimes the job stinks (literally) but it must be done

As to what chores your kids can do, OP... Setting the table
Clearing the table
Helping unload the dishwasher
Helping to fold laundry
Dust
Feed/water any pets
Maybe vacuum
Water plants
Help cook
Put away toys
Put items in recycling bins

Good luck!!

 

[sbtrfly74]

I made a chart using Works and each child had a different color. No reward system but if they had their chores done then could do the fun stuff they wanted like going to the movies or whatever.

I started mainly when I went back to school and needed the extra help and kids were teenagers. Now with DD17 starting college in a few weeks and DD20 working 4 days a week I need to revamp the chores they have to fit their schedule better and give them a little more slack.

Youngest DD had chores but we never really kept up with hers but now she's 10 and Im going to add her to the list more to help out. DD20 does the dishes and DD17 takes out the trash, they have to vacuum either upstairs or downstairs twice a week. Thats about it with the exception that I have their laundry, bathroom and bedroom set to a specific day of the week just to remind them to do it which is usually iffy if they do or not.

 

[A_Princess'_Daddy]

Please don't take this as a jab, but how does he think your kids will learn basic living skills?

For the record, my exdh is the same, but he knows since dd14 lives with me that she has to help.

Please don't take this as a jab back, but since you asked, I see a major difference between developing a work ethic and learning how to do basic chores. I don't think I need to start training my children how to dust at six years old for them to be ready to dust on their own as adults, nor do I think that giving them a list of jobs prepares them for basic living. I think it's much more important for them to learn to work hard at whatever they do, and when they get into the real world, they'll cognitively understand where dust comes from and how to remove it, that plates need to be put on the table when it's time to eat and that clothes don't magically wash themselves.

Growing up, I did not have any chores, per se, but we were all expected to contribute to the family. That approach is also working for our children, so I expect that we'll continue to use it.

 

[eliza61]

We also did not do a chore chart. Our feeling was every member of the house has to contribute to the upkeep of the house. Why would I reward someone for making a bed they slept in? Lol. So maybe we just didn't call it "chores".
Anyway they always had to make their beds, fold their clothes, wash the tub after they bathe and walk the dog. Once a week they empty the trash and separate their dirty clothes.

 

[Conservative Hippie]

My kids are 5 and 3. We don't have a chore chart, but we do have chores. Right now DS's only chore is to put the toys away in the evening, although he helps with several other things. DD's chores are to put the toys away, keep her own room clean, fold put her laundry away when I've done laundry, sweep under the table after every meal, and put away the silverware from the dishwasher. I don't really have a reward system, they do it -- and if they refuse they get disciplined and do it anyway.

 

[hereyago]

Please don't take this as a jab back, but since you asked, I see a major difference between developing a work ethic and learning how to do basic chores. I don't think I need to start training my children how to dust at six years old for them to be ready to dust on their own as adults, nor do I think that giving them a list of jobs prepares them for basic living. I think it's much more important for them to learn to work hard at whatever they do, and when they get into the real world, they'll cognitively understand where dust comes from and how to remove it, that plates need to be put on the table when it's time to eat and that clothes don't magically wash themselves.

Growing up, I did not have any chores, per se, but we were all expected to contribute to the family. That approach is also working for our children, so I expect that we'll continue to use it.

No jab taken. Thanks for your perspective. As long as your kids know how to do basic living skills when they are older. A 18 yo who doesn't know how to do laundry isn't cute. I believe everyone has to contribute.

 

[2disneyboys]

We sort of do both. Both of my boys have set responsibilities that they are required to do. They are required to maintain these responsibilities correctly and without being prompted. as they get older, they get more responsibilites. This is just a perkof being a member of our family and living in our home... they sure are some lucky kids

We also have a chart on the fridge of available tasks to earn $. Each job is worth a small amount (anywhere from .50 per job to a few dollars - value depends on how complicate the job and how often it needs to be done) These jobs are 1st come 1st serve and once a month they get "paid" for thier jobs they did. This is thier money to spend, save, whatever. We do not pay allowance though in our home. If we do something as a family, then mom & dad pay, but if one of the boys wants to do something with friends/cousins, etc, then they have to pay. When we go on vacations, they have to buy thier own souvineers (we may buy something, but it's not a given and we will not be nagged about I want this I want that!) This is helping them to plan and budget. they know they want to go to laser tag with a friend next weekend, well, it costs xyz so they can't buy that icre cream or whatever so they can save $ for lasertag. When we are getting ready to go on vacation (Disney in Nov, Cruise in May) we generally make more jobs available to them as a way to earn some extra money, but we don't make them. One vacation, my youngest had saved over $80 for his vacation money, yet my older son only had $20.. man was he annoyed! but.. it only happened once! part of this system is also "fines" they get fined for violations (not doing regular assigned tasks,being disrespectful, lying, stealing, cheating, fighting, etc) So as an example, they earned $30 in work and got fined $5 and get paid $25.

Now my boys are 13 and 10 right now, but we started this process when they were around 6 and 9 and for now this system has been working great for us over the past 4 years. We have tweaked it over the years based on thier age, maturity etc and I know as we enter the TEEN years it will be tweaked some more.

The one thing is to be consistent and clear. Clearly state the rules, expectations and consequences and follow through. As long as you do this, any program or process you set up will work just fine. Good Luck