Chivalry is dead.

[DisMN]

My husband often gives up his seat to others and frankly I often wish he wouldn't. There are plently of people (both male and female) who look like they need the seat more than he thinks he does, and so he will give it to them. Then there are the women who expect to have a seat handed to them simply because they are female and they stand and glare at any men who remain seated. Frankly it isn't their business why those men are seated. Maybe they don't feel well, maybe they have an injury, maybe they are tired, or maybe they just don't feel like standing up. In the end, it doesn't matter. Those who choose to ride a bus that has standing room only are free to choose otherwise if they don't want to stand. They have other options. They shouldn't feel entitled to someone else's seat.

Chivalry isn't dead - I see it every day. I don't think the fact that someone isn't willing to stand on a crowded bus is really a very good test of their chivalry.

Yep I agree with ya. Not giving up a bus seat doesn't really mean anything bad. LOL

Years ago we tried to give up our seats to others...but the bus was so crowded and chaotic and trying to shift our bodies between other hot sweaty bodies just bordered on silly. We usually just stay seated now unless there's a really clear need........

 

[jaminmd]

Maybe the people who are seated waited for another bus so they could have a seat. Now they have to get up & accomodate you & yours (referring to those that are mad when they aren't offered a seat)?

Is that fair?

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

In the real world I take public transportation on a daily basis and ALWAYS give my seat up if someone is older, pregnant, infirm, with kids, etc. Some of these people really need it.

In Disney - not so much. If you are so worried about your childs safety - you would have rented a car and buckled them into a car seat. If you are exiting at the end of the day and are simply too tired - too bad. You could have left earlier (when busses are not as crammed).

Why does NO one want to take responsibility for their own comfort and wellbeing?

 

[jdads2]

On the way to the park we always give up our seats. On the way back it depends. If we are especially worn out I ussually wait for the next bus so we can sit. We won't get up for the person, man or woman, who has to squeeze on this bus because he/she doesn't want to wait for the next one. That being said I don't remember when that has happened. If we're feeling, even OK, we always give up our seat on the way back as well. The most i have to do is motion to one of my kids, 2 boys and a girl, and up they are, offering their seat.

 

[KellyNY]

This is one of those topics that...just dosn't make sense, because when you put this situation in any other group it's a tabboo.

1. How do you know they are not less able to stand, and you are MORE able? Do you see their injuries? Can you tell that the guy sitting across from you had knee surgery and had to head back early because he was in pain? You don't know.

So true

4. Does having a ***** make is any easier to stand? I mean really?
You nailed that

 

[Nutz4Dizney]

Then there are the women who expect to have a seat handed to them simply because they are female and they stand and glare at any men who remain seated..

My hubby ALWAYS gets up. He jumps up pretty much for everyone. He is 6'2" over 200 lbs. One night on one of the Disney buses hubby had my sleeping son (about 2 or 3) in his arms and I had TONS of bags (on the floor, on my lap, I think I had some behind me, plus hubby had some in front of him on the floor-it was a very nice shopping day for me )

Anyway, this lady (glamorous body, big ****s etc) gets on the bus, I guess she DESERVES a seat just because she was born of the female sex. I watched her get on the bus all smiles and flirty and no man got up, she evil eyed every man on the bus. The woman on the bus (next to the hubbys) just watch her. Finally, she got to my hubby and gave him the evil eye. I said "problems." She just turned away I got 3 or 4 smiles from other woman on the bus (as to say thank you).


Women, just because you are women doesn't give you the right to have a seat on the bus. I do understand that it is nice that PEOPLE (men or women) are decent enough to those in need to do the "right" thing but to except a seat just because you are a woman is bull.

 

[DizzDoll]

My daughter and I ended up giving our seats to women holding sleeping children on a few occasions this past trip. No biggie. But what gets me is that, after waiting for bus #4 to show up after a looong day in the park, and being lucky enough to get a seat, how many people actually tried to stare us down because they felt we should have given them up. Sorry, but other people are tired too, and FWIW my son, who's 16, was recovering from heart surgery so I wouldn't let him stand. Mean me.

 

[TiggeRx]

What if the middle aged man has a bad back, and it was just about to give out?
What if the teen agers were autustic twins, who get agitated upon standing in a crowded environment?
What if it was a father who spent all day with his triplet toddlers, and instead of standing on a crowded bus, opted to wait for the next available one, and was finally seated?
What if the teen was stricken with dehydration from going non stop at a park, and was feeling woozy?

My point is, don't judge until you walk in their shoes.

Chivalry is not dead!
Sometimes, I think empathy is.

 

[blurrycat]

In my opinion unless you are a man in a wheel chair you should be giving up your seat. If you not in a wheel chair and you can manage to drag yourself around a theme park all day, you should have no problem standing for a few more minutes on the bus.

With all due respect, this isn't a good indicator. I have multiple sclerosis and use an ecv at the parks, but I have to turn that in at the end of the day. My balance is terrible and there is no way I could stand on a moving bus.

I'm also a healthy looking man in my 30s and have been given the "evil eye" before for not moving. I know that isn't always the case, but it is for me.

 

[Cindermommy]

I have never me so many rude people in one place as I did at Disney this summer. My family and I were just appalled at the nerve of a lot of the guests. The cast members have to be saints to put up with the likes of some of the people we ran into this August.

 

[disney_bob]

Whoa Whoa Whoa. Talk about a hot topic. But hey I'll jump in.

As a male who has offered his seat and will continue to do so, let me just say that nothing annoys me more on the topic than people who complain about someone not giving up their seat.

People who give up their own comfort for others should be applauded as they are going above and beyond. To expect this from other human beings to the point where you feel someone else should give up their comfort for your own.. well let me just say that if you want to talk about a sense of entitlement I'd suggest looking no further than your own mirror.

 

[DVCJones]

I agree, and I'm not just kidding.

If it is a parent holding a child I will get up. But not just for some random woman simply because she's a woman.

It's called "equality". It's terrible when you can't have your cake and eat it too.

I don't think the OP wants a man to give her a seat just because she is a woman.

I wouldn't want a man to give up his seat for me. However, I would want a man to give up his seat if I was holding my sleeping 3yo, if I was really pregnant, I was elderly, had a broken leg/arm or for my children who are too young and lack the coordination to lean into the turns when standing.

It is common sense...thoughtfulness...manners...decency...civility...graciousness...courtesy...
I am thankful that I married a gentleMAN who know the meaning of these words and gives up his seat whenever needed.

I also agree with the PP who said if people "think" they are getting dirty looks, it IS probably their inner guilt.

 

[JeffGoldblum]

In my opinion unless you are a man in a wheel chair you should be giving up your seat. If you not in a wheel chair and you can manage to drag yourself around a theme park all day, you should have no problem standing for a few more minutes on the bus.

I think that might be the stupidest thing I have ever read on this forum.

 

[avasdad]

The way I look at this is no one is FORCED to stand on a bus at Disney. If you get on a bus that is full you can get off and wait for the next bus. There will be another bus. You are making the choice to stand. Disney does a great job of making the buses handicap accessible and those who NEED a seat always get one.
In most cases I personally would give up my seat for someone who I feel needs it more than me but that is my personal choice and it should not be expected. If you really want a seat wait in line and get on an empty bus with seats available.

 

[~Kik-Kik~]

I think that might be the stupidest thing I have ever read on this forum.

I agree!!! If they are in a wheelchair, they automatically can't walk. I guess 1 + 1 = Fish to that guy.

 

[DVCJones]

What if the middle aged man has a bad back, and it was just about to give out?
What if the teen agers were autustic twins, who get agitated upon standing in a crowded environment?
What if it was a father who spent all day with his triplet toddlers, and instead of standing on a crowded bus, opted to wait for the next available one, and was finally seated?
What if the teen was stricken with dehydration from going non stop at a park, and was feeling woozy?

My point is, don't judge until you walk in their shoes.

Chivalry is not dead!
Sometimes, I think empathy is.

Yes, but the chance of ALL OF THEM being on the same bus......slim to none

 

[look1angel]

This is first taught in the home.

I too noticed the lack of folks (I'm old fashion) not giving up their seats. I would make it a point to get up & offer to women with children, older folks etc. My husband was taught well as were all 3 of my children 2 girls and a boy.

Manners just plain old manners!

 

[Disneyholic]

I have to agree that there is no reason to give up your seat just because there is a woman without a seat (pregnant, holding sleeping baby, elderly, infirm, sure, but just because they are a woman, no way). Sorry, but to me that seems too much like "oh, yes, we must let the little lady have a seat".

Let me add, before everyone jumps all over me for being a chauvinistic male, that I am a woman who is over 50 (and fast approaching 60 ).

And while I do think that chivalry is dead (or at least on life support), people should be aware of the attitude and lack of response that they may be giving. Let someone in front of you in traffic and don't even get so much as a wave in thanks. Hold the door for someone and get no comment. Give someone your seat and not even get a nod. Yes, they have all happened to me recently.

Have had all those things happen to me too and I am also female in the mid 50s range. I've even had people glare at me for not getting up. I have offered to hold little ones, but a lot of parents don't want anyone touching their children. I have moved over to make room at the edge of the seat and that was declined also. They wanted the whole seat for them & their child.
I have waited for the next bus a few times, even when the bus driver threatened that there wouldn't be another bus for a long time (right! There were still 100 people waiting and they weren't going to have any more busses for a while) The wait was, at the most, 20 minutes. Worth it to me to have a seat.

 

[Pecobill]

What if the middle aged man has a bad back, and it was just about to give out?
What if the teen agers were autustic twins, who get agitated upon standing in a crowded environment?
What if it was a father who spent all day with his triplet toddlers, and instead of standing on a crowded bus, opted to wait for the next available one, and was finally seated?
What if the teen was stricken with dehydration from going non stop at a park, and was feeling woozy?

My point is, don't judge until you walk in their shoes.

Chivalry is not dead!
Sometimes, I think empathy is.

The last one has happened to me quite often.

 

[Kickapoo Joie Juice]

One thing about women (since I am one)

If I say "No, thank you, I'm fine" then let it go.

Don't *insist* that I take your seat. I am a fully functioning human being, as you are, and are capable of making decisions. If I say no thank you, then you need to respect that.

I consider men who pressure me to take their seats after I've said no to be less interested in my well being and more concerned with their own code.

Which defeats the purpose of polite manners in the first place-doing a good act for the benefit of the other person.

However, a polite offer is always appreciated. Just be prepared to take "no" as graciously as you accept "yes".