Children with Parents in bathroom

[melissac]

i know this may be a dumb question but I'm curious when everyone started to let there child go into the bathroom alone. I just returned from Disney and when I was in the women's bathroom a boy that appeared around 12 came out of a stall with his mother. By appearance and language skills he appeared to have no disability. I know that not all disablities are noticeable. There was a campanion bathroom at this site. Anyway, I felt very uncomfortable with this. I asked my husband what he thought and he said if it would have been a girl in a men's bathroom it would have been even more uncomfortable. Have many of you seen older children in the bathroom of the oppisite sex parent, more so in the mens bathroom. Just some thoughts on this.

 

[Alexander]

DS was somewhere around 10 or 11 when I started letting him use the bathroom alone in WDW. I still stand right outside the door and wait for him. If I think he is taking too long, I will yell into the bathroom to him. I do the same at the airport. When we were flying out of MCO last month, I went into the ladies room and there was a boy about 13 or 14 sitting on the floor (the carpeted area) right inside the doorway. He looked quite unhappy, but I completely understood! There are so many whackos out there!

I am surprised that some people polled that they let their 5-6 y/o use the bathroom alone! There are so many restrooms in WDW that have more than one entrance! It would be so easy to get turned around and the child come out the wrong door! No-way would I let my 5-6 y/o go into a public restroom in a place as busy as WDW alone!

I understand the difference if it is a little girl in the men's room. But my family and friends have always just covered the little girl's eyes and taken her into the stall. Nothing is worth compromising your child's safety.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I don't think there is a magic age where it becomes okay. I think each child is different and so is each situation. I am curious though, why did it make you uncomfortable that an older child was in the bathroom? The stalls are private so you pretty much would just be around him to wash your hands.

 

[Mrsdennison]

We live in one of those rural areas where everybody know everybody. So when local my husband will send our two 7 and 4 into a womens bathroom if I'm not there. He also has been known to yell inside and tell the kids to sing a song.

Not that I dont have fears even locally. Generally if he is alone he still takes them in with him. Thank goodness for more family stalls.

At disney I would say maybe around the age of 10-11. My oldest sometimes still forgets she is not at home, there are thousands of people and such.

We do our best to use family restrooms and my girls prefer going into the ladies room but it is their safety.

Mrsdennison

 

[GinnyEmma]

My 5 year old knew how to go into a restroom and use the urinal or toilet without a problem. They used the restroom alone at school, scouts and church, and, frankly, the risks are much higher of being hurt by someone they know.

lol, my 11 year old would be mortified if i hollered into a restroom because his bowel movement was taking too long!!!!

mouse house, I do agree that each kid is different. If you have one that can't be trusted not to fool around, etc., it wouldn't work.

 

[kohlby]

I voted 7-8, however, the last time we went on a trip to Diseny, my oldest was only 6.5 and we did not let him go in alone. He's now 7 and I'm letting him go in the bathroom by himself (or wait outside the door without me) at some places, but not all. Our next trip will be when he's 8, and I'm pretty sure I'll be fine with him using the bathroom without me by then. However, I don't think I'll be comfortable with me using the bathroom while he waits outside the door - since there are crowds that walk by the bathroom and he's gets lost easily and is the type to wander off, not realizing he's wandering off. He might mature faster than I expect, but for now, I don't think he'll be ready for that by next year. (In which case, I'd vote 9-10 for him waiting alone outside the bathroom for me but 7-8 for him going in alone).

As for other people's kids, it doesn't bother me in most cases if the child is sent in WITH a parent. A younger boy often needs supervision. An older boy by himself who is bigger than me does make me uncomforable.

*Edited to add: I just remembered, I did let him use the bathroom by himself once on our last trip alone at 6.5, but I sent DH in partway through. DH had gone to do a ride by himself close by and ODS needed to poop - which takes a long time. There was a line for the women's restroom but none for the men's. I had an 11 month old and 3 year old with me as well and the 3 year old was still finishing her ice cream. So, though I was hesistant, the inconvience was worth it to send him into the men's with DH checking in on him once he was done with his ride. He did just fine.

 

[kohlby]

am surprised that some people polled that they let their 5-6 y/o use the bathroom alone! There are so many restrooms in WDW that have more than one entrance! It would be so easy to get turned around and the child come out the wrong door! No-way would I let my 5-6 y/o go into a public restroom in a place as busy as WDW alone!

The one time I let my son do it at 6, it was a bathroom with only one entrance/exit. I do understand how this would be an issue. My oldest would likely come out the wrong way of the bathroom even at 12. As an adult, I have to make an effort to pay attention so I come out of the bathroom the correct way even.

 

[luvsJack]

Younger ds was 5 on his first trip to wdw and he went by himself to the bathroom. We just gave him instructions. Go in and out the same door, and if someone did anything (even speak to him) that made him feel the tiniest bit afraid or threatened: YELL! If someone tries to grab him, go limp. Hard to hurry off with someone that is limp on the floor.

Most of the bathrooms at WDW are so busy that it would really be hard NOT to get someone else's attention.

Kids can be attacked at any age. They can be kidnapped at any age. The best thing to do is to teach them skills of what to do if something happens.

Dd knows now to yell, scream, kick, scratch or whatever else it takes to get someones attention.

 

[GinnyEmma]

We just told our kids that if they walked out and didn't see me they had gone the wrong direction. It worked well. Just in case you need a plan.

 

[lucyem]

I don't think there is a magic age where it becomes okay. I think each child is different and so is each situation.

I agree with this. Also determining age is very difficult. I have an 8 yr old boy who is often mistaken for 10+ due to his height. At 8 we judge each situation differently. Sometimes he goes alone but sometimes he needs to go in with an adult and sometimes the only adult with him is me. So he uses the ladies room. Case in point - scary highway rest stops.

 

[mjkacmom]

When we were flying out of MCO last month, I went into the ladies room and there was a boy about 13 or 14 sitting on the floor (the carpeted area) right inside the doorway. He looked quite unhappy, but I completely understood! There are so many whackos out there!
.

Yes there are - like this poor kid's mom! Heck, dd14 was flying alone at the age of 10. I'm in the 5 - 6 crowd, at at the age of 4, ds8 was going into the men's room with his 9 year old brother. I'm pretty sure that WDW bathrooms are pretty busy - it's not like a remote rest stop on the highway!

 

[nchulka]

I vote 5-6 for almost all areas. I just won't allow DS 7 to use a men's room alone at a rest stop on a road trip. He uses the men's locker room at the local pool by himself also. I do find it really odd that some think the over 10 crowd should still be going into the wrong room. I understand that between 5 and 10 there will be variations with what parents think is a safe age, but over 10 is really not acceptable at all unless there is a developmental issue and in that case you should try to find a special needs or family bathroom.

 

[Hannathy]

Younger ds was 5 on his first trip to wdw and he went by himself to the bathroom. We just gave him instructions. Go in and out the same door, and if someone did anything (even speak to him) that made him feel the tiniest bit afraid or threatened: YELL! If someone tries to grab him, go limp. Hard to hurry off with someone that is limp on the floor.

Most of the bathrooms at WDW are so busy that it would really be hard NOT to get someone else's attention.

Kids can be attacked at any age. They can be kidnapped at any age. The best thing to do is to teach them skills of what to do if something happens.

Dd knows now to yell, scream, kick, scratch or whatever else it takes to get someones attention.

This is what we have done also. I can't imagine a boy over 8 at the oldest needing to be in the ladies room for any reason (unless special needs then you had better start finding companion rooms). If a restroom is so dangerous that an older boy can't go in themselves then I need to think should I be going into the rest area alone either?

My kids have traveled extensively and have been using Bathrooms alone from 6 and younger in a lot of places.

 

[princessmom29]

A child who is in K should be able to go to the bathroom alone before going. If they can do it at school they can do it at Disney. It is no different. Yes ,there are more people, but how does that keep a child from sucessfully using the toilet and exiting out the door they went in? I don't see the problem, but I am not a "strangers might get them" parent either. We take reasonable percautions, and my child knows all of the stranger safety rules, bt we don't obsess about it. I refuse to force my child to live in fear. My mother gave me nighmares on a regular basis by telling me about all the horrible things that could happen if I left her side for a second. Totally not necessary.

 

[mrsr2ro]

I've seen these posts get heated on other boards on the dis... wonder where this one will take us...

For us - in places we frequent around home, DS 6 goes to the mens room alone. Will send DS 4 with him or if only DS4 needs to go he goes with me/DH. Random rest stops / gas stations on road trips -- they'll go with DH or I.

On our last trip to WDW I had mixed feelings ... we went in mid December - just the boys, my mom, and I - so no DH to take them. Since it was really cold and they had hats/gloves/etc to fuss with (which they are NOT used to wearing -- we live in TX and hardly ever have to wear them -- were a bit surprised we needed them in FL! ). I was worried they'd take forever, leave something behind on the floor , etc -- so I just took them with me. It was not croweded so no lines in the women's rooms. If it had been warm and crowded - I would feel comfortable sending DS6 or the two boys together to the mens room.

What I DID notice though -- that was the week when I read on the DIS later that so many people got the yucky tummy bug. None of us got it. When we were in many of the bathrooms, the boys could not reach the soap dispenser themselves -- I had to get some and put it on their hands. We did this each time and never got sick. SO - after reading about so many get sick, I was gald I made them come with me and ensure good handwashing. Maybe we were not looking hard enough - but I was surprised that the soap was so inaccesable to kids.

 

[mrsr2ro]

A child who is in K should be able to go to the bathroom alone before going. If they can do it at school they can do it at Disney. It is no different. Yes ,there are more people, but how does that keep a child from sucessfully using the toilet and exiting out the door they went in? I don't see the problem, but I am not a "strangers might get them" parent either. We take reasonable percautions, and my child knows all of the stranger safety rules, bt we don't obsess about it. I refuse to force my child to live in fear. My mother gave me nighmares on a regular basis by telling me about all the horrible things that could happen if I left her side for a second. Totally not necessary.

I somewhat agree with you but will point out something I just said in my PP -- at school, everything is accessible to little ones. At a lot of the bathrooms in WDW (and some stores/restaurants around us) the soap dispensers are high up on the wall above the sinks and my DS6 can't reach them (and he is in the 90% for height). At many places (airport too I remember) I had to squirt it and pass it over to his hand. Really annoying.

 

[princessmom29]

I somewhat agree with you but will point out something I just said in my PP -- at school, everything is accessible to little ones. At a lot of the bathrooms in WDW (and some stores/restaurants around us) the soap dispensers are high up on the wall above the sinks and my DS6 can't reach them (and he is in the 90% for height). At many places (airport too I remember) I had to squirt it and pass it over to his hand. Really annoying.

Almost every batroom at Disney had a handicap accessible sink that DD could reach as a small 5 year old. The one right at you go into world showcase is the only one that readily comes to mind where she couldn't reach on her own. I carry hand sanitizer for other public bathrooms wher DD cannot reach to wash. If they can successfully use the toilet at home they should be able to in a public bathroom as well.

 

[GinnyEmma]

I somewhat agree with you but will point out something I just said in my PP -- at school, everything is accessible to little ones. At a lot of the bathrooms in WDW (and some stores/restaurants around us) the soap dispensers are high up on the wall above the sinks and my DS6 can't reach them (and he is in the 90% for height). At many places (airport too I remember) I had to squirt it and pass it over to his hand. Really annoying.

It is easy for someone who doesn't have a son to be cavalier about it. You make some good points.

 

[~Kristina~]

It's all depends on where we are.

 

[princessmom29]

It is easy for someone who doesn't have a son to be cavalier about it. You make some good points.

What difference does it make? DD goes out alone with DH all the time and gets sent into the bathroom alone, even at Disney. Not a problem.