Children with Parents in bathroom

[FlightlessDuck]

Heck, in college the bathrooms were co-ed.

First of all, they weren't in my college.

And second, there's a difference between sharing between people of the same age of different genders and sharing between a grown adult and a young child of different genders.

 

[pacrosby]

First of all, they weren't in my college.

And second, there's a difference between sharing between people of the same age of different genders and sharing between a grown adult and a young child of different genders.

The was the least significant of my points.

And to be quite honest, I'm not sure what you're getting at anyway. As an adult, if I had a choice, I'd be much less comfortable sharing the bathroom with an adult male than with a little boy (and 8 -10 yr olds are still little boys). What exactly do you think that little boy is going to do? Try and 'sneak a peek'? Most people in public bathrooms are not worth sneeking a peek at LOL

And you didn't comment on my other points? What ABOUT that communal family locker room at private clubs and YMCAs (which is quite common)?

I really do wish someone would comment on what exactly makes them uncomfortable in a restroom with row upon row of privacy stalls? Or is this one of those 'just 'cuz' arguments. I'm really not trying to start something. Just would love to understand .

 

[GinnyEmma]

I think part of it is just comfortability, and ideas one is raised with pacrosby. It wasn't until the last 10 years or so that i started to notice women being overcome with the belief that their boy was going to be be molested or killed if he went in alone. I never saw older boys in the rr at all. Ever. And now it is common place.

I don't care if a male is in the changing room. I don't have anything to hide, and I am old enough to yank a knot in the tail of anyone who chooses to look in. I don't know how I would have felt as a teen girl, because it was never tested. I also don't have girls, and would never think I'd "get" all of the issues in raising them.

My issue with it now (as an old mom of teen boys) is that the act of overly protecting boys in fear of the boogeyman stinks for the boys. And it teaches them that as soon as they hit 13 they transform from babies that need protection into the boogieman, themselves. They become suspect and the object of fear. Really sad, imo.

I've probably wandered off your question too far...sorry!

 

[Vijoge]

. . .she has been going in the stalls by herself since age 5

Oh, if we're talking about going in the stalls by themselves, my nearly-three granddaughter does that.

 

[pixiewings71]

I said 9-10 but really it's more like 10-12 for me. It really doesn't bother me to see boys in the bathroom, unless they are obviously teens. Even then it doesn't "bother" me so much as it surprised me to see them there. I think this is something each family needs to determine on their own no one number works for everyone.

 

[pacrosby]

I think part of it is just comfortability, and ideas one is raised with pacrosby. It wasn't until the last 10 years or so that i started to notice women being overcome with the belief that their boy was going to be be molested or killed if he went in alone. I never saw older boys in the rr at all. Ever. And now it is common place.

I don't care if a male is in the changing room. I don't have anything to hide, and I am old enough to yank a knot in the tail of anyone who chooses to look in. I don't know how I would have felt as a teen girl, because it was never tested. I also don't have girls, and would never think I'd "get" all of the issues in raising them.

My issue with it now (as an old mom of teen boys) is that the act of overly protecting boys in fear of the boogeyman stinks for the boys. And it teaches them that as soon as they hit 13 they transform from babies that need protection into the boogieman, themselves. They become suspect and the object of fear. Really sad, imo.

I've probably wandered off your question too far...sorry!

no worries! Thanx for an explanation.

And btw...you're welcome to call me Pamela from here on in

 

[FlightlessDuck]

And you didn't comment on my other points? What ABOUT that communal family locker room at private clubs and YMCAs (which is quite common)?

I don't belong to a YMCA or private club. I've never had the experience of being in a family locker room. I don't think I'd find it comfortable.

I really do wish someone would comment on what exactly makes them uncomfortable in a restroom with row upon row of privacy stalls?

As I said before, it's the urinals that bother me.

 

[Hannathy]

And you didn't comment on my other points? What ABOUT that communal family locker room at private clubs and YMCAs (which is quite common)?

Actually our YMCA is extremely strict about opposite sex in the dressing rooms. I do believe it is 5 and under may be 4, and they mean it. They do have some individual rooms like dressing rooms you can go in with kids but absolutely not into the dressing rooms.

And even tho I lived on a coed floor we had single sex bathrooms. all the dorms at my DD's school have single sex bathrooms.

The big problem with older boys in the women's room is the older girls. What older girl wants to come out of the stall after, sorry about this, passing gas, etc and have a boy her age standing there? How about a girl dealing with her period and a ten yr old boy is standing there gawking at her. Girls at that awkward stage are embarrassed by life enough as it is without having to deal with it in the bathroom because of over protective Moms.


What if you spilled something on your shirt and would like to lift it up to clean it, can't with an 11 yr old staring.

I always say if your son needs to come into the Womens room take him in your stall with you. If he is too old to be in there with you then he is too old to be in there with my daughter or me.

 

[pacrosby]

I don't belong to a YMCA or private club. I've never had the experience of being in a family locker room. I don't think I'd find it comfortable.

Like a women's restroom, they have privacy stalls; both for changing and for the toilets. There have been no age restrictions at ANY of the Y's/clubs I have been too (and I've been to several)

As I said before, it's the urinals that bother me.

THAT I understand (and made an exception to in my previous post). It was the little boy in the women's restroom I was inquiring about.

 

[spacemountainmom]

I will say that I do not believe that older boys need to be wandering about the women's bathroom. I guess I am just unlucky, but I have been peeped at in the stall more times than I care to remember and then there are the little darlings who don't know where mom is and start crawling under all of the doors to try and find her!!!

I say loudly anytime I see little eyes peeking in, "It's rude to peek at someone in the bathroom!" Thankfully, most moms yell for junior to knock it off. However, some people are completely oblivious that junior is peeking at other people.

The other problem is that many public restrooms are not maintained very well and the locks do not work as they should. I really would rather not have the door come open and see a boy looking at me.

It is a tough dilemma. I have a son and do not like sending him in alone in certain places. I also have enough respect for those around me to not drag my 11 year old into the women's room. I also have a teenage daughter who would not be happy to see a boy her brother's age or older in the women's room.

My daughter and I have already been taking bets on how many boys we'll see in the ladies room this week.

 

[pacrosby]

Actually our YMCA is extremely strict about opposite sex in the dressing rooms. I do believe it is 5 and under may be 4, and they mean it. They do have some individual rooms like dressing rooms you can go in with kids but absolutely not into the dressing rooms.

And even tho I lived on a coed floor we had single sex bathrooms. all the dorms at my DD's school have single sex bathrooms.

I wasn't trying to suggest that it is true of ALL YMCA's or colleges...just that it is definately true of some and therefore perhaps, doesn't require the outrage expressed by some here.

The big problem with older boys in the women's room is the older girls. What older girl wants to come out of the stall after, sorry about this, passing gas, etc and have a boy her age standing there? How about a girl dealing with her period and a ten yr old boy is standing there gawking at her. Girls at that awkward stage are embarrassed by life enough as it is without having to deal with it in the bathroom because of over protective Moms.


What if you spilled something on your shirt and would like to lift it up to clean it, can't with an 11 yr old staring.

I always say if your son needs to come into the Womens room take him in your stall with you. If he is too old to be in there with you then he is too old to be in there with my daughter or me.

As far as your other 'concerns', hey, I can't argue with them as they are your concerns and you have a right to them. I just don't agree because they are 'extreme' examples. Possible, but not probable. A 10 yr old boy standing there "gawking" at a girl as she comes out of the stall after taking care of business? IDK My son would be hiding in the corner waiting for me to come out not staring at all the ladies as they came out of the stall (not that I would take him in , but if I did LOL) And in my 49 years, I've never LIFTED up my shirt to clean a stain.

I actually prefer GinnyEmma's explanation - "just not comfortable". Gets to the root of the issue....personal preferance. As long as they don't go to my college or apply for membership at the YMCA's I'm familiar with.....all should be just fine



ETA: Well, spacemountainmom above debunked my claim that it wasn't probable huh? LOL Guess I've been lucky as I've been in plenty of restrooms in my life and NEVER experienced anything remotely like that

 

[figment3258]

Thats a tough question i have two girls 4 and 8 and I won't let them either one go alone there are so many sick people out there. For me it's easy though we we go in the girls room but when m husband has them-he finds a family one room bathroom that way they can go in b themselves and not have to worry.

 

[Ava]

I was just talking to my DH about this the other day. He took our boys to our local highschool for basketball practice, and they went in the locker room to change from pants into shorts. There was a mother in the men's locker room with her 8 or 9 year old son (the child is in my DS's 3rd grade.) She was helping him change for swim class, and she had 3 younger little girls with her! Can you imagine. A mom and 3 little girls in the MENS locker room! Crazy!

My question is... why does her 3rd grader need help changing his clothes? Unless he's disabled in some way, I'd think an 8-year-old should be able to dress himself.

 

[Hannathy]

My question is... why does her 3rd grader need help changing his clothes? Unless he's disabled in some way, I'd think an 8-year-old should be able to dress himself.

He doesn't the Mother does............


Betting on a case of the helicopter needs to land.
(there is always the chance he is special needs but even then the chances are good he could pull his pants on himself, or wear his suit under his clothes but your DH would probably have noticed)

 

[hroyale]

I didn't vote because it hasn't happend for us yet. This past year DD and DS (almost 7) have started to insist on going by themselves in public restrooms here at home. If it's just me with DS I will try to find a family or single person bathroom, but if not I wait out side the door and worry.

I'm surprised nobody has mentioned the noise of the toilets at WDW yet. One of the things I worry about with DS is that the very loud toilets self-flushing when he doesn't expect it will throw him over the edge if he doesn't have the comformting voice of DH to keep him calm.

And DD would not look for a low soap dispenser, even if there was one. If she couldn't reach the one closest to her she'd skip that.

So I expect DH to go with DS on every visit and I'll go with DD.

Yes, they can handle going to the bathroom by themselves, but I don't think they can handle the crowds and the self-reliance needed to go to the bathroom by themselves ad WDW or a highway reststop or the air port.

 

[Altoqueenkelly]

My dd3 has a bathroom fetish and thinks she has to visit every bathroom wherever we go so we have plenty of opportunities.

Good to know we arent the only ones!! My DD 3 (almost 4) does the same thing!!!! I dont understand it!!!

 

[mamaLori05]

my dd is 5 and I have no problems letting her go in and use the bathroom by herself. No need to haul everyone else in the germy bathroom if no one else needs to go. I just wait outside the bathroom door. If she can't reach the sink, then she comes out and lets me know, but 95% of the time if she just stands on her tippie toes she can reach the sinks/soap. If she can't reach one, she will try a different one. If it starts to take more than a few minutes, I peek my head in and yell to make sure everything is okay. If dh is out and about with her, he sends her in the women's rest room as well. If she can't reach the sink, then he will take her in the men's to help wash her hands, but that doesn't happen very often.

ds3 still goes with one of us because he can't reach the sinks yet and needs some assistance once in a while, but by the time he reaches K I will be completely fine with having him go in the men's by himself.

I wouldn't feel uncomfortable if I saw a 12 year old boy in the women's bathroom, but I most definately would feel sorry for him. That is a little too old IMO to still be needing assistance in the bathroom. Most kids over the age of 8 or 9 should have no problems reaching everything they need to reach, and should be responsible enough to be able to take care of business.

 

[lady_bug_888]

I haven't been to DW yet but I am going in August. I know it's REALLY busy and there are more than one entrance/exit to bathrooms but I will be allowing my DS (7 turns 8 while there) to use the bathroom by himself. The reasons for this are: 1) I feel it is inappropriate for him (not necessarily ALL 8 year olds) to use the woman's washroom for me as he is quite aware of male/female differences AND 2) he feels embarrassed to be in the women's washroom. I think #2 is the real indicator that he is ready to be using the washroom by himself. My DH will be with us and he may use the washroom with my DS at times but I think it's perfectly acceptable for my DS to go alone.

We plan on having a meeting spot, reminding him that he should use the same entrance he came in to exit, and to have an emergency plan in place to use if he gets separated from us. He has been using bathrooms by himself since he was 6 and I have noticed in the past 6 months that his apprehension of going in to the bathroom alone has dissipated.

 

[GinnyEmma]

I didn't vote because it hasn't happend for us yet. This past year DD and DS (almost 7) have started to insist on going by themselves in public restrooms here at home. If it's just me with DS I will try to find a family or single person bathroom, but if not I wait out side the door and worry.

I'm surprised nobody has mentioned the noise of the toilets at WDW yet. One of the things I worry about with DS is that the very loud toilets self-flushing when he doesn't expect it will throw him over the edge if he doesn't have the comformting voice of DH to keep him calm.

And DD would not look for a low soap dispenser, even if there was one. If she couldn't reach the one closest to her she'd skip that.

So I expect DH to go with DS on every visit and I'll go with DD.

Yes, they can handle going to the bathroom by themselves, but I don't think they can handle the crowds and the self-reliance needed to go to the bathroom by themselves ad WDW or a highway reststop or the air port.

Your 6 year old needs comforted from noisy toilets?

Pamela, call me Gin.

Is anyone else surprised there are 5 votes for "over 12?"

 

[mjkacmom]

Your 6 year old needs comforted from noisy toilets?

Pamela, call me Gin.

Is anyone else surprised there are 5 votes for "over 12?"

YES - very disturbing! Good Lord, what a generation we are raising (or not raising?). My parents let me take the monorail to the MK by myself at the age of 9.