Children and lying

[kpgclark]

What reasons do you use to get it into your child's head that lying is wrong?

 

[jwsqrdplus2]

I don't know, but when you figure it out, tell me please!!

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

It's hard to trust someone that lies. If children expect to gain trust (which includes increased freedoms as they get older) then lying is not the way to go about it.

 

[Kallison]

Well my oldest rarely fibs and even when he does he usually comes clean very soon after. The two youngest are starting to see the consequences, as I usually take his word over theirs.

 

[holycow]

I think in talking to them about lying you have to talk about Trust...that if they are honest you can trust them and then they will be able to do important things, but if they lie and continue to that you can't believe what they say.

Also I know with my kids they were more afraid of the punishment they thought they were going to get , so we tried to praise them when they did so something honest.




I use the analogy that lying is like a spiders web. You may think the first one isn't so bad but then you keep doing it and doing it and pretty soon you are stuck! You are in a sticky situation that is hard to get out of! And everyone knows that they can't trust you!

Another one is take a rope or string and have the child tell one lie...then wrap it around them, then another and another pretty soon they can't move their arms and are stuck...(ame concept.

Then when they get older I also impress upon them that you can go to jail for lying! (I didn't take that money in your room mom!)
Or I didn't take that toy etc...

Hope some of these help...

Lisa

 

[BHFan25]

I agree with CJMickeyMouse. That and the fact that God has told us that lying is wrong. DD got in trouble for lying last week. She got in trouble with her daddy. After he dealt with it, she has been extremely truthful this week.

 

[Robinrs]

Every parent has this problem once or more in their children's lives...

Children, heck PEOPLE tell fibs at time mostly to keep themselves out of trouble or sometimes to make themselves look or seem better.

Since we are the authority figures we are the ones they tell the fib to because we are either the punishers or the ones they want to impress.

Depending on the age or morals of the child you can use lots of different ways to get to them. My son is very concerned about how I feel about his actions. I told him if I find out it's a lie it makes him look much worse and I can forgive the truth, no matter what it is MUCH more than a lie.

Like holycow said, PRAISE them for being honest. Let them know the repercussions for truth are much less than being dishonest.

It's actually a cycle. I remember knowing that a lie would blow up in my face with my parents, so I chose NOT to do the things that I knew I'd have to lie to them about. It kept me on the straight and narrow for many years! I'm hoping that my son feels the same but even if he doesn't, he knows without a doubt my views on dishonesty and the repercussions of a non truth.

God bless, and remember, you're not alone in this!

Robinrs

 

[DoeWDW]

When my kids were younger, we would tell them all the stuff about trust. Then, within the next day we'd tell them lies, like "we're going to Pizza Hut for dinner" or something like that. Then we'd later say, "oh sorry, we lied". That got through to them pretty quickly.