Child Support refund check ??? UPDATE post 114

[rainy~daze]

My goodness—Why would this thread be closed?

People are offering opposing views. Does that warrant a thread closure?

but not many answers to the question I even asked. LOL!!!!

 

[julezdisney]

but not many answers to the question I even asked. LOL!!!!

 

[LuvMy3Monkeys]

Well, um, that is how you make a baby Unless he had a gun to his head, he chose this path




My God. That poor child




When he picked him up, why didn’t you guys keep him and give him a nice life?

This poor child I hope your husband fights every day to retain custody of him. What is his visitation schedule with you guys? I hope he has some happiness in his life

Again, I feel for the children caught up in these horrible situations.

We didn't pick him up!!! When we got there and put him in the car she followed us and nearly slammed us onto the curb and we pulled into a grocery store parking lot and she called the cops and said we came to her house to try and kidnap him She is insane, simply put.

We dont have a visitation schedule... his grandma has him and she has to let us see him behind his moms back. She always threatens the childs life and threatens to take him far away if she lets us see him. I dont think I beloieve her.. but the grandma does. And everytime she breaks down crying saying I'm sorry but I cant do it....

And you must not live in the real world.... because you cant just "pick them up and give them a nice life". Tell that to all the noncustodial parents who try and take their kids and GO TO JAIL.

And, no we're not pursuing custody. Been there, done that and I refuse to put my kids in danger any longer. She is far too crazy and has done too much to our home, cars and even my hubsand (physically). She was court ordered to undergo pshycological testing, but I dont know the status on that yet.. that was only about 3-4 weeks ago.

Its very easy to blow roses out your butt and say "oh, why dont you just make the world all better and swoop down and take him off to wonderland?". It doesnt work that way here. There are rules, and courts and law enforcement, and women who know how to run the system.

 

[hentob]

but not many answers to the question I even asked. LOL!!!!

Cash the check and put it in a card for the new graduate

 

[hentob]

And you must not live in the real world.... because you cant just "pick them up and give them a nice life".

.

Yes you can. You fight for the child. You pursue custody

And, no we're not pursuing custody..

Oh.

Poor kid. Failed by all adults involved. Heartbreaking.

 

[LuvMy3Monkeys]

but not many answers to the question I even asked. LOL!!!!

LOL I'm sorry!!! I guess we all got on a little bit of a roll here. I just get a little heated on this subject because I know how many kids are getting the raw end of the deal and theres not a darn thing we can do about it.

Anyway... Did you read what I posted way back at the beginning of the thread? About getting a notarized statement so you can get info about the case? It really is a helpful thing to have... especially if you need to drop off a payment and need info or want to get some updated information for insurance or what have you.

Okay, and scratch all that... because you wont have a CS case anymore. DUH

 

[julezdisney]

Again, agreeing with everything LuvMy3... is saying.

Only someone who hasn't dealt with the court systems and bi-polar baby mama's could spout flowers and trees.....

 

[julezdisney]

Poor kid. Failed by all adults involved. Heartbreaking.

And that's not true. Thank heavens for Grandma.

 

[LuvMy3Monkeys]

Yes you can. You fight for the child. You pursue custody




Oh.

Poor kid. Failed by all adults involved. Heartbreaking.

LOL you really just don't get it.

 

[julezdisney]

LOL you really just don't get it.

Nope! Seen too many Lifetime movies with rosy endings....

 

[LuvMy3Monkeys]

Again, agreeing with everything LuvMy3... is saying.

Only someone who hasn't dealt with the court systems and bi-polar baby mama's could spout flowers and trees.....

Exactly.

My ex-neighbor had been convicted of child endangerment when she knowingly allowed her boyfriend to stay in the house after he raped her 12 year old daughter. She went to jail for 90 days, got released after 30 days and did the remainder on house arrest. He got out after 1 1/2 years. Came home and the girl was 14. MOVED BACK IN THE HOUSE with the mom... and as of when we moved out about 8 or 9 months ago, they were going through a reunification program with child protective services to get custody of her daughter back. IF THIS CRAZY WOMAN and her rapist boyfriend are getting custody back of this poor girl.... then YOU TELL ME how the same court system is going to take custody away from a mom because she doesn't care about her kid???

Go ahead... I'll wait.

 

[hentob]

Edited-

Never mind.

Bless all of these children that come from such horrible, uneducated, unloving homes.

Remember to choose your sexual partners wisely, as you run the risk of producing a child with that person.

Good night folks.

 

[LuvMy3Monkeys]

How do you know these details? Is it hearsay? Show me the court report (is it online?) and I will give you my opinion.

No, it's not hearsay.

At this point, I'm going to stop responding. It is very clear that you are simply playing the devils advocate and probably dont give a darn about these kids anyway. Anything someone says you need to come back with some wonderful solution to the problem that you think will fix the world. And on top of it, you want me to give you first and last names and court records of my neighbor? Exactly how much time do you have on your hands to read court reports about other people and determine if you can "save" that kid, too?? Obviously alot of time... so maybe you could work on proposing a bill that would help these poor kids who are lost in the sytem with parents who don't care.

In the meantime, feel free to contact the judges here in Stark County Ohio and let them know that you've got a plan all worked out for my stepson, and we're just gonna "go pick him up and get him a better life"... as I believe those were your exact words. And while you're at it... see if you can get my five year old a pony.

 

[S. C.]

The person I know was succesful in gaining custody from the mom. He recorded every conversation between the two of them. Her screaming in the phone that she was going to kill herself in front of the children (children were in background crying for daddy).....etc etc etc. Several Police reports with knives involved. Well you get the picture.

Document and record everything. Yes it was a long, hard, expensive fight but very worth it to keep the children safe.

I'm glad yours are with a loving grandmother and not the mom.


ETA: check the laws in your state. Some states you are allowed to record conversations between you and another person. It is illegal for a 3rd person to record other peoples conversation without their knowledge.

 

[DVCBELLE]

Luvmy3monkeys: Please forgive me if this is an ignorant question.

Have you ever given the child support to the grandmother instead of the mother? If this woman is as unstable as you say - would she go to court?

 

[chloelovesdisney]

No, it's not hearsay.

At this point, I'm going to stop responding. It is very clear that you are simply playing the devils advocate and probably dont give a darn about these kids anyway. Anything someone says you need to come back with some wonderful solution to the problem that you think will fix the world. And on top of it, you want me to give you first and last names and court records of my neighbor? Exactly how much time do you have on your hands to read court reports about other people and determine if you can "save" that kid, too?? Obviously alot of time... so maybe you could work on proposing a bill that would help these poor kids who are lost in the sytem with parents who don't care.

In the meantime, feel free to contact the judges here in Stark County Ohio and let them know that you've got a plan all worked out for my stepson, and we're just gonna "go pick him up and get him a better life"... as I believe those were your exact words. And while you're at it... see if you can get my five year old a pony.

With DSS mom being unable to care for him, you can go to family court and sue for custody. Grandma cannot just take care of dss, when mom isn't up to the job and dad wants custody.

If you all get appointed as the custodial parents, you won't have to make payments anymore to the mom, who doesn't even take care of him. You all could also go to court for partial custody and have grandma also declared a partial custodian.

If you have court ordered payments, dad should at the very least have scheduled visits.

It does not make sense to continue to have dss living at grandma's, who does not have custody, and pay mom. It also does not make sense for the poor kid to be living like this, when he has a dad who is able and willing to care for him. The crazy ex should not be running the show when she is unable and unwilling to care for her own child. For the sake of your husband's son, I wish you all the best of luck.

 

[P.I. Squirrel]

Listen guys, if you want to start a "Child Support is Right or Wrong" or "My DH's ex is a bad mom" then go do it. Otherwise, answer OP's question and stop hijacking the thread! I have my opinions about my ex and CS, but they are not for here on this thread. It's not mine.


Now, OP, in Georgia child support guidelines are written into state law, so maybe also where you live. In GA, it says until the month in which they turn 18 (or 21 if going to college). So, at least in GA, the entire month gets paid with no proration.

 

[rainy~daze]

I hope they call back tomorrow and either talk to me or will call his cell phone b/c he is out at work all day.
I will definitely post when I find out why we got it, because I know a lot of people are curious how/why some of this stuff happens.

The crazy thing is I have read and reread PA CS laws/codes so many times, cause it was all so new to me and I like to know what is going on. But I haven't seen anything about prorate...but could have missed it. For his daughter it was for certain only till age 18 or graduates HS, no doubt there, I have seen the original info plus we went for modification hearing a while back and that was told to DH at the hearing.

So don't fight with each other about this, I think we are all truly upset at the person we are paying to or getting payments from, not each other. Hopefully I will have this resolved very shortly!!!

 

[LuvMy3Monkeys]

Luvmy3monkeys: Please forgive me if this is an ignorant question.

Have you ever given the child support to the grandmother instead of the mother? If this woman is as unstable as you say - would she go to court?

We send her money alot, but the court ordered support is taken out of his check and goes to the mom. We dont get to choose where it goes. The mom has custody but his son doesnt live with her.

 

[SereneOne]

With DSS mom being unable to care for him, you can go to family court and sue for custody. Grandma cannot just take care of dss, when mom isn't up to the job and dad wants custody.

If you all get appointed as the custodial parents, you won't have to make payments anymore to the mom, who doesn't even take care of him. You all could also go to court for partial custody and have grandma also declared a partial custodian.

If you have court ordered payments, dad should at the very least have scheduled visits.

It does not make sense to continue to have dss living at grandma's, who does not have custody, and pay mom. It also does not make sense for the poor kid to be living like this, when he has a dad who is able and willing to care for him. The crazy ex should not be running the show when she is unable and unwilling to care for her own child. For the sake of your husband's son, I wish you all the best of luck.

Again, GOOD LUCK! It is not as simple as that and many of you need to stop watching Lifetime. Parents are allowed to do despicable things to children and all the judges care about is reunification and the children suffer because of it. I am not saying there are not any happy endings, but they are the rare exception, not the rule. Not to mention, these types of parents are allowed to do it again and again. I know of a case another worker had where the woman had already had two children taken from her permanently in the previous five years and was pregnant with another one within that year...and ended having the baby girl placed in foster care while she "worked" yet another case plan. *heavy sad sigh*