Child-free, but not by choice?

[want2bamommy]

Hi Missie,
Now I want to know who was watching baseball, you or the dog , or both (my cat watches E Vets on Animal Planet).
Suzanne

LOL. I was watching baseball. I do watch a few shows on Animal Planet and the only time I can get Sarge to "watch" is when he hears dogs barking. He'll look around to see where it is coming from and then as SOON as it stops he loses interest.

Suzanne-- looks like you have some great Disney trips planned that are coming up. Where are you staying for the next trip?

Have a great day (everyone)!

Missie

 

[want2bamommy]

My week started looking up. I got a new (new to me) car this weekend. It is a 2000 Saturn LS2 . Last Thursday, I got some news that I hope will turn into wonderful news. My mom called me (while watching E Vets and I was crying about them putting a dog to sleep) and said I have to ask you something, so I said what hoping she didn't hear me crying, she says how would you like to take 2 babies.

Suzanne!! I will keep you in my prayers that this works out for you and more importantly these babies that need a wonderful mother in their lives!!!!!!!

Please keep us posted!!!

Missie

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

LOL. I was watching baseball. I do watch a few shows on Animal Planet and the only time I can get Sarge to "watch" is when he hears dogs barking. He'll look around to see where it is coming from and then as SOON as it stops he loses interest.

Suzanne-- looks like you have some great Disney trips planned that are coming up. Where are you staying for the next trip?

Have a great day (everyone)!

Missie

Hi Missie, My DH and I (and hopefully 2 baby girls) are going to WDW August 23-25 for DH's Birthday and we are staying at the All Star Movies. We have never stayed there.

My DH, mom, and I were supposed to be going to Tennessee and Dollywood for my Birthday next month, but I have cancelled that, because first of all DH wrecking the car and having to buy a new one (new to me), money is a big issue right now and I just had a sick feeling about the amount of money I would be putting out for that trip to happen. We are all going to WDW as a family in December 2008, but I will get a little fix in August. I wish we could go a little bit more often, but I will be much happier if I get these girls.

Suzanne

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Suzanne!! I will keep you in my prayers that this works out for you and more importantly these babies that need a wonderful mother in their lives!!!!!!!

Please keep us posted!!!

Missie

Thank you, I have everything possible crossed (fingers, toes). I went to my Gyn this morning and I broke down while talking to her, and told her that I was going to have to give up the quest to have a bio child, because I couldn't take it anymore. Then I told her about the 2 babies and she said that she would do whatever she could to help me get them, she told me that she was confident that I would be a great mother and she would tell anybody she needed to that I was fit to parent these girls.

Suzanne

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Suzanne!! I will keep you in my prayers that this works out for you and more importantly these babies that need a wonderful mother in their lives!!!!!!!

Please keep us posted!!!

Missie

Well unfortunately my world came crashing down on me today , the stupid state of Alabama, which I reside in has decided to let a mentally incompetant woman raise children , just because she gave birth to them. The girl can't even wash clothes or do dishes, that is how incompetant she is, and the state thinks that if they put her in an apartment with electricity and water, she will be able to care for them. They want to give her a chance, well I think her chance ran out when she took her children into a home that had no water and one filthy bottle.

I would just really like to run away and hide for a few days, unfortunately I can't do that. I am so lost right now.

Suzanne

 

[want2bamommy]

Well unfortunately my world came crashing down on me today , the stupid state of Alabama, which I reside in has decided to let a mentally incompetant woman raise children , just because she gave birth to them. The girl can't even wash clothes or do dishes, that is how incompetant she is, and the state thinks that if they put her in an apartment with electricity and water, she will be able to care for them. They want to give her a chance, well I think her chance ran out when she took her children into a home that had no water and one filthy bottle.

I would just really like to run away and hide for a few days, unfortunately I can't do that. I am so lost right now.

Suzanne

Oh Suzanne I am so, so sorry!!! Sending you TONS of hugs! Perhaps the state will see SOON that this is NOT the ideal environment for these children. I don't know what else to say other than I am here for you!!!


Missie

 

[hematite153]

Well unfortunately my world came crashing down on me today , the stupid state of Alabama, which I reside in has decided to let a mentally incompetant woman raise children , just because she gave birth to them.

I have to admit that I have been avoiding posting because I was afraid it would turn out this way. I have seen many people struggle with situations like these. Parental rights are strong and the state (general) will generally do EVERYTHING they possibly can to make it possible for children to be raised by their biological parents unless they voluntarily give up their rights.

If you can handle the ups and downs that are likely to come with it, I'd let your "Aunt" know that you are ready and willing to help out at any time. Then, make sure you are a licenced foster parent. If the "Aunt" continues to follow-up on the children and make reports to CPS when needed (make sure she only makes reports when there is something CPS will consider serious) then, either the children will end up getting the care they need with their biological mother or they will get pulled for foster care. If you are licenced and her family requests that they place the children with you, you'd have a chance. BUT...you have to be prepared to have your heart broken. Getting the children while on a temporary CPS pull would not give you any rights to them for the future and if their mother can prove she has jumped through certain hoops she'll get them back. You could end up falling in love with actual children (not just the idea of them) and then lose all rights to seeing them.

I should say, I have also known people who were foster parents without any expectation of eventual adoption who loved the time they got with the children and the opportunity to guide them through life.

Whatever happens know that we love you and are praying for your dreams to come true.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Oh Suzanne I am so, so sorry!!! Sending you TONS of hugs! Perhaps the state will see SOON that this is NOT the ideal environment for these children. I don't know what else to say other than I am here for you!!!


Missie

Thank you Missie, I have been really upset about this today. Hopefully it won't be long before thye realize that she isn't capcble of taking care of them, because she isn't with out their father, who is in jail for a looong time. I will keep you posted.

Suzanne

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

I have to admit that I have been avoiding posting because I was afraid it would turn out this way. I have seen many people struggle with situations like these. Parental rights are strong and the state (general) will generally do EVERYTHING they possibly can to make it possible for children to be raised by their biological parents unless they voluntarily give up their rights.

If you can handle the ups and downs that are likely to come with it, I'd let your "Aunt" know that you are ready and willing to help out at any time. Then, make sure you are a licenced foster parent. If the "Aunt" continues to follow-up on the children and make reports to CPS when needed (make sure she only makes reports when there is something CPS will consider serious) then, either the children will end up getting the care they need with their biological mother or they will get pulled for foster care. If you are licenced and her family requests that they place the children with you, you'd have a chance. BUT...you have to be prepared to have your heart broken. Getting the children while on a temporary CPS pull would not give you any rights to them for the future and if their mother can prove she has jumped through certain hoops she'll get them back. You could end up falling in love with actual children (not just the idea of them) and then lose all rights to seeing them.

I should say, I have also known people who were foster parents without any expectation of eventual adoption who loved the time they got with the children and the opportunity to guide them through life.

Whatever happens know that we love you and are praying for your dreams to come true.

In the back of my mind I too knew this would happen, but it isn't right
If these children are taken from her, the likely hood of her getting them back is nil. She really is mentally incapable of taking care of them(I wan't saying that just because I was mad) and never will be, no matter what happens. She is I think 20 and is mentally only about 12. The CW/SW said that it was good that there was someone that would take them, so they won't go into foster care, I am family(more or less), so that makes a big difference. I am sure I will have to do something (certification/home study) but I will cross that bridge when the time comes. I believe this CW/SW has been going out or went out once to f/u on a report, but she was able to give them better care with the father, but he is in jail for a loooooong time now, so their care has significantly decreased. The girl really needs to be in some kind of home where she can get some help. The CW/SW asked if there were any family that would take her and the children and my aunt told them no, because she has too many problems. The CW/SW PROMISED my aunt that they would look in on her alot more often, but I really don't think it will take long for something to happen, especially since there are 2 babies involved. I believe in her case, if they take them away it will be permanent, no ifs, ands, or buts about it this time. I will keep eveyone posted as I find things out.


Suzanne

 

[darlak]

PrincessSuzanne,
I don't know where you live in Alabama, but I would like you to PM me with that info. I work for Jefferson County Family Court as an investigator in child abuse and neglect cases. In the state of Alabama, if these children are removed from their mother's custody and she wants them placed with you, (I know that's a lot of if's), you won't need to be liscensed as a foster parent through the Department of Human Resources. There also may be other legal avenues you might want to consider. That's why I would like you to PM me.

By "where you live", I just mean your county. I don't want your actual address.

 

[Mickey'sMainMami]

Hi everyone, I just wanted to tell you all on here that I lost the baby Friday night. I went in for my anatomy scan and cervical measuring, and when I got to the office, I went to the ladies room and I was bleeding. About 10 minutes later the cramping started. 20 minutes later my water broke, the ambulace came and got me and took me to the hospital and at 11:45 pm I had my son. He was so precious. He had my nose. My dad and husband were there and my dad named him Thomas Joseph because that was what his dad had wanted to name him, but his mom said no. It was another precious, devestating moment of my life. I feel so guity, why, if I hadn't been able to carry before, did I try to do it again and make my son suffer? This was number 5, I don't think I can do it again. Everyone keeps telling me that it is too soon to think like that, but seriously, how much more do I have to go through? I want to do surrogacy, but my dad who had once offered to give me the money, now seems to tell me to try again and find a different doctor. My dad had said before because my husband and I don't make a lot and he is paying child support for his other 2 sons and that is like half his check every two weeks, that he would lend us the money. I can come up with some, but not all of it, and since he owns a house, and we don't, except we do pay the mortgage every month because we live in it, he said he would borrow. Now it seems like they are expecting me to try again. I don't want to. It's one thing to lose a pregnancy early on, yes it is still devestating, but going further to the point that you have something to hold onto is so hard. I really thought this one was going to make it. I prayed so hard, tried to stay so positive, take it easy. I keep hearing people tell me that they know people who have been like through 8 or 9 or 10 losses, I give a lot of credit to them, because they are strong women, because I can't do it. You know what really kills me, is that when I first went for my consultation 2 years ago with the specialist, I was told I was not a candidate for a cerclage, but the doctor from my doctor's office came to see me before I left the hospital and said next time they would probably do a cerclage. I know sooo many women that have had them. I know of someone who never lost a child, yet had cerclages and bedrest for both of her children. Why did they give it to her and not to someone who has had so many problems? It's so not fair, why does God keep doing this to me? I hope the rest of you are doing ok and I will keep praying for all of you, I hope someone on here gets some good news soon, I can use some cheering up!

 

[R Dog Walt]

Hi everyone, I just wanted to tell you all on here that I lost the baby Friday night. I went in for my anatomy scan and cervical measuring, and when I got to the office, I went to the ladies room and I was bleeding. About 10 minutes later the cramping started. 20 minutes later my water broke, the ambulace came and got me and took me to the hospital and at 11:45 pm I had my son. He was so precious. He had my nose. My dad and husband were there and my dad named him Thomas Joseph because that was what his dad had wanted to name him, but his mom said no. It was another precious, devestating moment of my life. I feel so guity, why, if I hadn't been able to carry before, did I try to do it again and make my son suffer? This was number 5, I don't think I can do it again. Everyone keeps telling me that it is too soon to think like that, but seriously, how much more do I have to go through? I want to do surrogacy, but my dad who had once offered to give me the money, now seems to tell me to try again and find a different doctor. My dad had said before because my husband and I don't make a lot and he is paying child support for his other 2 sons and that is like half his check every two weeks, that he would lend us the money. I can come up with some, but not all of it, and since he owns a house, and we don't, except we do pay the mortgage every month because we live in it, he said he would borrow. Now it seems like they are expecting me to try again. I don't want to. It's one thing to lose a pregnancy early on, yes it is still devestating, but going further to the point that you have something to hold onto is so hard. I really thought this one was going to make it. I prayed so hard, tried to stay so positive, take it easy. I keep hearing people tell me that they know people who have been like through 8 or 9 or 10 losses, I give a lot of credit to them, because they are strong women, because I can't do it. You know what really kills me, is that when I first went for my consultation 2 years ago with the specialist, I was told I was not a candidate for a cerclage, but the doctor from my doctor's office came to see me before I left the hospital and said next time they would probably do a cerclage. I know sooo many women that have had them. I know of someone who never lost a child, yet had cerclages and bedrest for both of her children. Why did they give it to her and not to someone who has had so many problems? It's so not fair, why does God keep doing this to me? I hope the rest of you are doing ok and I will keep praying for all of you, I hope someone on here gets some good news soon, I can use some cheering up!

I'm soooo sorry. I wish I could say anything to make it better, but I know there is nothing to be said. I can't imagine such a loss. As for trying again, I really believe that that is YOUR decision and nobody else's. If you believe that you can't do it again, then I think you should go with that. If you are ready to look into a surrogate, do it. There's nothing wrong with gathering information. Talk to your dad. If he offered before, I'm sure he meant it and I'm sure he would understand your feelings. Trust me, there is strength in knowing your limits and moving forward with subsequent steps.

You're in my thoughts.

 

[R Dog Walt]

In the back of my mind I too knew this would happen, but it isn't right
If these children are taken from her, the likely hood of her getting them back is nil. She really is mentally incapable of taking care of them(I wan't saying that just because I was mad) and never will be, no matter what happens. She is I think 20 and is mentally only about 12. The CW/SW said that it was good that there was someone that would take them, so they won't go into foster care, I am family(more or less), so that makes a big difference. I am sure I will have to do something (certification/home study) but I will cross that bridge when the time comes. I believe this CW/SW has been going out or went out once to f/u on a report, but she was able to give them better care with the father, but he is in jail for a loooooong time now, so their care has significantly decreased. The girl really needs to be in some kind of home where she can get some help. The CW/SW asked if there were any family that would take her and the children and my aunt told them no, because she has too many problems. The CW/SW PROMISED my aunt that they would look in on her alot more often, but I really don't think it will take long for something to happen, especially since there are 2 babies involved. I believe in her case, if they take them away it will be permanent, no ifs, ands, or buts about it this time. I will keep eveyone posted as I find things out.


Suzanne

Suzanne- I'm so sorry. This is very disappointing. You are in my thoughts too.

 

[R Dog Walt]

Well, I started Lupron this morning for my FET. I forgot how much the first needle hurts. I know by next week, I will hardly be feeling a thing. Not much else going on. Only 9 more days of work this year!

 

[want2bamommy]

Hi everyone, I just wanted to tell you all on here that I lost the baby Friday night.

I am soooo sorry!!!! I will keep you in my prayers!

Missie

 

[DznyLvr2005]

Hi everyone, I just wanted to tell you all on here that I lost the baby Friday night. I went in for my anatomy scan and cervical measuring, and when I got to the office, I went to the ladies room and I was bleeding. About 10 minutes later the cramping started. 20 minutes later my water broke, the ambulace came and got me and took me to the hospital and at 11:45 pm I had my son. He was so precious. He had my nose. My dad and husband were there and my dad named him Thomas Joseph because that was what his dad had wanted to name him, but his mom said no. It was another precious, devestating moment of my life. I feel so guity, why, if I hadn't been able to carry before, did I try to do it again and make my son suffer? This was number 5, I don't think I can do it again. Everyone keeps telling me that it is too soon to think like that, but seriously, how much more do I have to go through? I want to do surrogacy, but my dad who had once offered to give me the money, now seems to tell me to try again and find a different doctor. My dad had said before because my husband and I don't make a lot and he is paying child support for his other 2 sons and that is like half his check every two weeks, that he would lend us the money. I can come up with some, but not all of it, and since he owns a house, and we don't, except we do pay the mortgage every month because we live in it, he said he would borrow. Now it seems like they are expecting me to try again. I don't want to. It's one thing to lose a pregnancy early on, yes it is still devestating, but going further to the point that you have something to hold onto is so hard. I really thought this one was going to make it. I prayed so hard, tried to stay so positive, take it easy. I keep hearing people tell me that they know people who have been like through 8 or 9 or 10 losses, I give a lot of credit to them, because they are strong women, because I can't do it. You know what really kills me, is that when I first went for my consultation 2 years ago with the specialist, I was told I was not a candidate for a cerclage, but the doctor from my doctor's office came to see me before I left the hospital and said next time they would probably do a cerclage. I know sooo many women that have had them. I know of someone who never lost a child, yet had cerclages and bedrest for both of her children. Why did they give it to her and not to someone who has had so many problems? It's so not fair, why does God keep doing this to me? I hope the rest of you are doing ok and I will keep praying for all of you, I hope someone on here gets some good news soon, I can use some cheering up!

oh my god, Im so sorry

 

[hematite153]

Hi everyone, I just wanted to tell you all on here that I lost the baby Friday night.

Oh dear! I so wish there was something I could do or say to help--but I know there isn't.

I agree with R Dog Walt, you know best what you are capable of. It's good to know there is an option (cerclage) they haven't tried yet so that if you try again you'll be able to get them to step up the interventions. But, it's also okay to say, "enough, I can't do this anymore." If your father had offered to pay for surrogacy before then he can probably be convinced to pay for it now. Maybe he just needs time to grieve first.

You'll remain in my prayers.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

I am going to WDW for my birthday . I just convinced my mom to go and, well of course, my DH didn't need any convincing. We are going down on June 7 and leaving on June 9. My birthday is June 8 and I get to spend it at the MK, yeah me!!!!!


Suzanne

 

[want2bamommy]

I am going to WDW for my birthday . I just convinced my mom to go and, well of course, my DH didn't need any convincing. We are going down on June 7 and leaving on June 9. My birthday is June 8 and I get to spend it at the MK, yeah me!!!!!


Suzanne

That is awesome Suzanne!!! You really deserve that right now and I just know that you will have a wonderful time!

Missie

 

[R Dog Walt]

I am going to WDW for my birthday . I just convinced my mom to go and, well of course, my DH didn't need any convincing. We are going down on June 7 and leaving on June 9. My birthday is June 8 and I get to spend it at the MK, yeah me!!!!!


Suzanne

What a great place to spend your birthday! You'll just miss us. We're headed down the 1st and coming back on the 8th! I agree with Missie, you deserve this right now!