Child-free, but not by choice?

[want2bamommy]

I tried to get pregnant for 10 years. How's that for an infertility timeline? (granted, if our insurance had covered infertility treatments we might have had success earlier)

In that time though, we never quit doing Disney. I was actually able to take a vacation from trying to get pg and we always had a lovely time.

I hope you are able to enjoy WDW 100% while there and not focus on infertility and losses. Enjoy all the 'grown up' rides! Check out the night clubs! Because you WILL get pg (one must keep hope!) and one day you won't be able to ride those rides or go to the clubs for many years!

Last May we got to take our DS to WDW for the first time (18 months old). It was really fun! But I'm looking forward to taking him this fall even more since he'll recognize the characters at that point.

I'm very sorry for your losses. I hope you are able to get pg soon and that everything works out well for you.

Wanted to add - I had an IUI on Jan 22 (2004) and had a trip to WDW scheduled for the 27th. I asked the doctor (R.E.) if I had to be careful on any rides (and specifically mentioned M:S and how it was a giant centrifuge) and he said no. Enjoy whatever I wanted to. I still give M:S credit for helping the pregnancy along. I think the centrifuge helped 'snug' DS nice and firm into my lining. So, in all reality, he's been to WDW twice.

Thank you for your story and support! You are so right about enjoying the adult rides and clubs, etc while we can! My BIL/SIL went to Disney with their 3 young children, me, and MIL, FIL this past year and they really couldn't enjoy it themselves. Don't get me wrong they had fun but they couldn't ride the adult rides, etc. This July they are going alone for the week and I am so happy for them!

Have a great week!

Missie

 

[want2bamommy]

Today, when I thought things were getting better, my DH calls me at work and tells me he had a wreck and totaled our one and only car that we have only had for a year. I don't know what I am going to do. He is okay, only got some minor burns and cuts on his arms from the airbag. I still owe about $700 on it, and we have no extra money for this right now. I, of course, am the one that will have to stress about it, my DH doesn't worry about much, he lets me worry about all the big stuff. I didn't need this right now. We are getting ready to move back into the family home (long story) with my mother and she is going to sell the house that we are in right now. So I went this morning and put a deposit on a storage building because we have to put some of our stuff in storage until my grandmother's estate is settled and my aunt and uncle get what they want out of the house, then we can finish moving in. I have too much on my plate for this to have happened. I am so greatful that he is okay and we have insurance, but it still isn't a good time (when is it ever). And do you know what he says to me while waiting to be seen in the ER, he says I guess we will have to cancel our WDW trip in August because we don't have a car. I told him not to worry about that right now, WTH

Suzanne

Suzanne,

I am sorry to hear about the accident. Glad to hear that DH is doing well though! I am sure it feels like the old saying "when it rains, it pours..." Big hugs to you!

I am sorry I didn't get to respond to this earlier!

Hope you have a good week and be sure to come and vent whenever you need to. That includes sharing TMI, lol

Missie

 

[want2bamommy]

Hello all!
Infertility SUCKS!!!!!!! We have MF infertility and have been TTC for the past 8 years (3 fresh IVF, 1 FET, 2 DIUI's) with no success. DH doesn't get that I would want to go to Disney again, with all the kids there. He didn't get it the first time last summer, but came with me anyways. He had a good time, but I don't know if I'll ever get him to go again. I'm a kindergarten teacher, and a big kid at heart, so I'm obsessed with going, but DH won't let me go alone - he's worried about me going all that way by myself (isn't he sweet!). It would be so nice to have kids to bring with me instead! It's nice to see that there are other crazy people like me - obsessed with Disney, yet going through this miserable stuff.

Welcome Starr! I'm sorry about all you are going through! Infertility does indeed SUCK! There are so many days when I can't get past the self-pity "why me" stage. ESPECIALLY when I see/hear about children being abused by their so-called parents! ****steps off soap box, lol.

I always wanted to be a Kindergarten teacher and even went to college for it for 2 1/2 years but chickened out and quit school. I know this sounds silly but I couldn't stand the thought of speaking in front of a class. NOT IN FRONT OF KIDS but in front of professor's, a principal, etc. I worked in Day care for 3 years and loved it. I had no problem with circle time, singing with the kids, etc but I just froze when my supervisor would come in the room.

Anyway, thank you for all your hardwork!

Missie

 

[want2bamommy]

Hi all,
Just checking in to let you know how my hsg went. R Dog Walt, you are correct it wasn't SO bad... well I can think of other things that would be worse... but I didn't get much cramping afterwards, just walked a bit gingerly for a while. Had cramping and pain at the time, and the nurse couldn't find my cervix! LOL what's that about? Found it eventually, and the x-ray seemed to be normal - we have up to 3 weeks to wait for official results, but the dr said we wouldn't need a lap and dye, so I guess that's fairly conclusive

On another amusing note, when booking dh's next SA, I noticed that there was something odd about the form with it! It had MY name on it! So now we have 2 possible reasons for us not conceiving - 1, I have no cervix; and 2, my sperm count is too low! LOL - What are they thinking about???

Well hope that puts a smile on your faces!

Glad to hear that the HSG went well. Too funny about no cervix and a low sperm count!! Sometimes we need to hear something amusing to keep us going!

Missie

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Suzanne,

I am sorry to hear about the accident. Glad to hear that DH is doing well though! I am sure it feels like the old saying "when it rains, it pours..." Big hugs to you!

I am sorry I didn't get to respond to this earlier!

Hope you have a good week and be sure to come and vent whenever you need to. That includes sharing TMI, lol

Missie

Thank you Missie, I am just looking forward to Friday, I am going to Destin with my mom and a friend from work, actually looking forward to a few days away from DH (I know that sounds horrible, but he is driving me crazy ).

Have a great week

Suzanne

 

[R Dog Walt]

Starr- Welcome! Yes- IF totally blows! We haven't stopped going to Disney through all of this. Actually, we've gone more often to get away from it! I'm a teacher too. I teach elementary gifted (K-5). I find it most difficult to work with the little ones. They make me LONG for that baby!

Hematite- 1 week of waiting down! Do you get a "beta" on a certain day or just POAS yourself? I hope this cycle works for you!

Brightspark- glad your HSG wasn't too bad! I hope the results are good! Sorry about having no cervix. My partner's is in the "bargain basement" according to our RE!

Princess Suzanne- I'm glad you're getting away for a trip! You definitely deserve it. Destin should be lovely this time of year.

Missie and everyone else- HI!!!

I do start my donor embryo cycle soon- I can't believe it's FINALLY May! I start Lupron on the 17th and Estrace on the 27th! I'm glad I'll have my trip to WDW to keep my mind off things between my two ultrasounds (5/29 and 6/11) or I think I'd go crazy!

 

[WDWfeelslikehome]

DW and I have been trying for three years. We can get pregnant, but can't stay pregnant. The last time we got a heartbeat on the ultrasound, they told us we were likely in the clear. A week later, no heartbeat. We've gone through many tests, and the doctors don't have any clear reason. We go to WDW twice a year, we love seeing kids smiling and having a great time with their families, someday it will be us too. We have decided to adopt a child. We may go back to a specialist after the adoption to try again for a biological child, or we may just continue to adopt. WDW is a great place for everyone, it helps to heal, no matter what. After our fourth miscarriage we headed to WDW two days later, we had already planned the trip and decided that we needed it. I hope that everyone in this thread has found comfort and strength in their fellow Dis'ers and the Mouse.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

I do start my donor embryo cycle soon- I can't believe it's FINALLY May! I start Lupron on the 17th and Estrace on the 27th! I'm glad I'll have my trip to WDW to keep my mind off things between my two ultrasounds (5/29 and 6/11) or I think I'd go crazy!

Congratulations and I feel baby vibes for you this cycle.

I feel like I am coming to the end of my journey. I have been taking Soy this cycle and feeling little twinges in my overies (a first for me), so I'm thinking it minght be working, then DH can't perform his husbandly duties, I am so depressed right now . He is just so not on board and it is getting worse. I haven't been much in the mood for anything lately, but I thought I would give this a try this cycle, and NOTHING. This is only CD9, so hopefully something can still come of it, but I'm just so down right now. Hopefully with us being away from each other this weekend will brighten the spark. I just feel like screaming, but that wouldn't do a whole lot of good .

Well enough pity party for now.

WDWfeelslikehome: Welcome and I am sorry for your losses. It is great that you can chose adoption, it just isn't the route for us for many reasons. WDW is wonderful. I can go and just forget who I am. I love WDW and the Mouse

Gotta get back to work.

Suzanne

 

[Starr_DJ]

Hi all! Thanks for the warm welcome!

Missie - I know what you mean by not being able to speak in front of adults. I can keep a huge group of little kids entertained and focused, but clam up in front of adults. I just had my evaluation this week with my principal, and all I could do was smile and nod my head when we were discussing it. Fortunately it went OK.

R Dog Walt - You are so lucky to teach gifted kids. That would be my dream job! Unfortunately we don't have programs like that here. Good luck on your DE cycle! Using donor is a hard choice, but the way I figure it is at least we'd end up pregnant, and it would be just like adopting, without the endless mounds of paperwork!

 

[R Dog Walt]

Suzanne- I'm so sorry that you are depressed right now. I know it doesn't help when your husband isn't being supportive or "available". I'm hoping the spark happens, the soy helps, and everything comes together. However, I also understand the depression, the feeling like nothing is going to ever work out, and the desire to just have your FREAKIN' pity party! Don't feel bad about having your party! We're hear to listen to you vent! Have a good trip.

Starr- Yes, I do love teaching gifted kids. It can be challenging but MOST of the kids really want to learn and be challenged so it definitely helps! And, like you, I speak much more easily in front of a group of kids than a group of adults!!!

I also feel that the donor embryos are a better option for my partner and I at least right now. I know there are just so many legal hurdles for us to adopt.
With this, at least for sure, at least one of us will be recognized as a parent. And the whole money thing. This donor embryo cycle, if it works, will be a true blessing because we will only have to pay for the FET. After spending $15K last year on fertility treatments, I'm hopeful this works! But it did take a long time to grieve never having a child that will have my DNA. Now I'm focussing on the fact that both donors are really healthy- so my child will have better DNA!

 

[sl_underwood]

WDWfeelslikehome- W went through several miscarriages as well before adopting. Adopting will never take away the hurt of the lost babies or never having a bio child but it gives you so much. I truly feel it was meant to be for us. My children were meant for me, if I had been able to have bio children, these kids and I would not be together now and truly I cant imagine my life without them.

Suzanne- I am sorry things arent going well. Infertility can be hard on a marriage. I know you are upset that dh isnt on board, have you talked to him to find out why? My dh went through this and when confronted I found out why. He was sick of sex being nothing more than an attempt to get pregnant. He truly felt as though he was not wanted at all, just his sperm. Its kinda hard to enjoy lovemaking when it has to be done only at certain times and its not about the two of you wanting to be together and for my dh, he felt like he failed when we didnt come up pg just as I felt like a failure every time we lost another baby. Once we talked about things it really helped.

Want2bamommy- I understand how you feel about parents who abuse their kids. I went into a tirade earlier in this thread on the same subject. It is hard enough for us, that one just adds to our pain.

Mickeys Main Mami- I hope you get that little girl you are hoping for, sending lots of sticky vibes, keep me posted.

 

[DznyLvr2005]

Hi everyone...
I wanted to tell you what my lovely doc told the the other day...
Well, to refresh everyone's memory..
I had 2 miscarriages, one at 10 weeks, one at 5 weeks.
The first m/c was a blighted ovum.
The 2nd we don't know what it was, only that my progesterone was 2 the day before I miscarried.
Now...
My MD called me two days ago and tells me to get all my blood tests, but giving progesterone while pregnant is "controversal and is not nessary and does not prolong a doomed pregnancy"
I am so mad because I know for a fact that progesterone supplements have worked for some people. My cousin for one!!!
He said he's discussed it with the high risk MD and they both agreed that it doesn't help.
This is making me all the more scared to get pregnant again!!!

 

[Mickey'sMainMami]

DZNYLVR - I am now almost 18 weeks along, 3 miscarriages 3mos and under and one preterm labor. I go to a maternal fetal specialist. They said they would not give me progesterone before 16 weeks, because, if you are going to miscarry in the begining, there is really nothing they can do to stop it. Also, some miscarriages are from genetic problems, and other things that might be your bodies way of telling you there is something wrong with the baby. Having said that, my doctor did say that a major study was done, and that for some reason, and they don't really know why, progesterone has been proven to prevent pre-term labor. Now obviously it doesn't work for everyone, but for some it did. The way my doctor explained, if your body is going to try and get rid of the baby, it is going to do it no matter what they try. I think you should go get a second opinion by someone else, call your heath insurance company and see if they can recommend someone. Did the doctor say they wouldn't give it to you at all or just not in the begining? Let me know, because I am really curious, because like I said, I heard it does help. Don't be discouraged, I could tell you some stories that some doctors told me and I felt like slapping them. IF you want to talk more, PM me, I have been through a lot also, and might be able to give you some more info.

 

[TravelinGal]

Hi everyone...
I wanted to tell you what my lovely doc told the the other day...
Well, to refresh everyone's memory..
I had 2 miscarriages, one at 10 weeks, one at 5 weeks.
The first m/c was a blighted ovum.
The 2nd we don't know what it was, only that my progesterone was 2 the day before I miscarried.
Now...
My MD called me two days ago and tells me to get all my blood tests, but giving progesterone while pregnant is "controversial and is not nessary and does not prolong a doomed pregnancy"
I am so mad because I know for a fact that progesterone supplements have worked for some people. My cousin for one!!!
He said he's discussed it with the high risk MD and they both agreed that it doesn't help.
This is making me all the more scared to get pregnant again!!!

I'm sorry for all that you've gone through. I too know many women who progesterone HAS helped. I do agree that it won't help continue a pregnancy that isn't viable, but many m/c occur because the body can't sustain it for some reason - not because it wasn't viable to start with. You have every right in the world to ask, no, INSIST on the treatment. It won't harm you or the baby to do it.

You need to find a Reproductive Endocrinologist. The RE is trained in fertility issues more than a regular MD or OB/GYN. Personally, I wouldn't waste one minute more with a family practice MD if there are fertility issues.

Best wishes!

 

[R Dog Walt]

This just seems really weird to me too. I've done 6 IUIs and 2 IVFs and have ALWAYS had to do progesterone suppositories from before the IUI or transfer. My RE says requires progesterone for a minimum of the 1st 8 weeks and then, when you are released to your OB they will likely wean you off of it.

I'm on a lot of infertility boards out there and it seems like MOST RE's protocols involve progesterone suppositories or PIO shots from the very beginning.

I didn't realize that some MD's term it "controversial".

I would be frustrated too. It sounds like your last m/c could have been prevented with more progesterone supplementation. Maybe not, but I agree with Travelin' Gal- a majority of RE's would not do this if it was in anyway harmful.

 

[hematite153]

The problem with the progesterone debate is that all sides are right. (Note: I didn't say both since there are more than two).

Yes, if you've had a miscarriage where you had a low progesterone level then you should be getting your progesterone checked and possibly supplemented.

Yes, sometimes you will have a low progesterone level BECAUSE there is another problem with the pregnancy and it is not viable. (Do you know what your other hormone levels were? I'd be particularly interested in the hCG level. When my DW had her chemical pregnancy they were able to tell us before she lost it that she would because of the combination of hormone levels.)

Yes, some women have problems with the production of a specific hormone or with the hormonal feedback loop stopping production before it should. In these cases, specific hormonal supplementation can help. For some this means clomid or estrogen shots to build follicles. For some this means hCG or progesterone during conception and pregnancy.

Yes, taking progesterone early won't prevent miscarriage of a non-viable blastocyst.

Yes, taking progesterone early can stop the body from shedding the uterine lining for women whose bodies don't get the hormones flowing quickly enough. (Since I spotted briefly this cycle, my doc will be prescribing it for me in my next cycle.)

Yes, taking progesterone later in pregnancy will help SOME women to avoid preterm labour.

YES, YES, YES, you need a more knowledgeable doctor!!!!

I don't know what's available for you but consider a wide radius of places to go. I know that people drive several hours to come to the clinic I go to. When I am spending 3 hours a day in transit, blood tests, ultrasounds and consultations for 2-3 weeks in a row I alternate between being frustrated about the time and feeling lucky that I have a clinic in town willing to do daily monitoring. I know that some people travel hours just to get there.

 

[hematite153]

Okay, now to update....

I've entered the range where the early POAS kits claim to be able to tell and I'm getting antsy. I always end up breaking down but it just depresses me when I get the negative result and I worry that in the 24% chance that I AM pregnant but don't have high enough hormone levels yet the depression will cause me to bleed. (Not logical, I know, but true nonetheless.) My clinic's policy is to call them on day 14-17 if I haven't bled yet. They'll have me come in for a blood test (not sure which day since I've never successfully hit this goal) and then for another one 2-3 days later. There is a part of me thinking that I always bleed 14 days after my temperature dip which has been 12 days after IUI in the past (stopped charting it because these discrepancies were freaking me out) so if I don't bleed this weekend my hopes will go up even though I won't have hit 14 days yet.

PrincessSuzanne: I'm really sorry that you're having a rough time everywhere. It sounds like both you and your DH have gotten depressed over the TTC issue. I wish you luck working your way out. I am always willing to listen (and to join the pity party if you want). My DW got pretty depressed when on clomid; what are the side-effects of soy-isoflavones? Given that clomid didn't work well for you, can you arrange for ultrasound follicle tracking so that you will know if the isoflavones are working? (The ultrasounds are covered under our government health plan here but I know that in the US it is harder to get access to such things.) Also, if they aren't working, could you try taking estrogen shots without going to IVF? You may have already tried this and I forgot. I'm mentioning it because I was reading my clinic's reasearch information and it said this was the most common treatment they offer yet I hear about it less than IVF in other circles.

RDogWalt: We're going to be waiting with baited breath for the next two months. I am so excited for you!

Starr_DJ and WDWfeelslikehome: thanks for sharing your stories and welcome!

 

[Mickey'sMainMami]

Yep, I agree with the above 3 posts. you guys have such a more clear and nicer way of putting things sometimes. I agree, I know almost everyone going through IVF takes Progesterone from day 1, I couldn't understand why my doctors wouldn't give it to me from day 1 either. I still don't understand, but I guess it's different than when you can't get pregnant at all or when you can get pregnant but can't hold on to them. I would definately suggest seeing someone else, although I am sure that your doctor told you the same thing my Family Doctor told me, 1 to 2 miscarriages are soooo very common and your next pregnancy could be fine. Not something I wanted to hear, but it is true. I do know sooo many people who have had 1 mc and a lot who had 2 who went on to have healthy babies. I hope you will be in this lucky group, and your next one turns out perfect. Unfortunately A lot of doctors won't even take you seriously until you've had at least 3, this is where I felt like slapping my doctor! You mean I had to go through this 3 times at least before they would even considering doing a full work-up on me!?!?! WHAT?!?!? Do they understand how emotionally and physically draining, upsetting, maddening it is to go through it?!? I am 18 weeks along and still can't allow myself to even tell anyone other than my immediate family. I can't allow myself to even start getting excited, because of my history. They say once you have a pre-term labor, the major risk factor of having a pre-term labor is if you've had a previous one. Being pregnant is nerve racking!! Find another doctor if you can, you deserve to know what is going on and shouldn't have to wait for another failed pregnancy. I hope you can get some answers and good luck on the future.

 

[sl_underwood]

Hi everyone...
I wanted to tell you what my lovely doc told the the other day...
Well, to refresh everyone's memory..
I had 2 miscarriages, one at 10 weeks, one at 5 weeks.
The first m/c was a blighted ovum.
The 2nd we don't know what it was, only that my progesterone was 2 the day before I miscarried.
Now...
My MD called me two days ago and tells me to get all my blood tests, but giving progesterone while pregnant is "controversal and is not nessary and does not prolong a doomed pregnancy"
I am so mad because I know for a fact that progesterone supplements have worked for some people. My cousin for one!!!
He said he's discussed it with the high risk MD and they both agreed that it doesn't help.
This is making me all the more scared to get pregnant again!!!

My docs were also reluctant to give me the progesterone shot before 12-16 weeks. Even with them my pregnancy was doomed, my baby was born to early and died shortly after. But you have to have hope, many women go on after miscarriages to give birh to healthy babies, some with, some without these shots. I know one woman who had 7 miscarriages but went on and had 2 healthy babies and the docs were never able to figure out why. I second the opinion to find a RE or at least a OB that has experience with high risk of miscarriage.

 

[Mickey'sMainMami]

Hi everyone,
Just thought I would give you an update, we had a little scare on Sat night. I started to bleed at around 8pm, called the doctors office and left a message with the answering service. The doctor called me back and told me to go to the hospital so they could check me out. Luckily, everything was fine, they said it was old blood that I was bleeding, they think from my cervix which they said can be sensitive during pregnancy. The baby is fine, AND, the doctor did an ultrasound and thinks it's a boy, pretty sure he saw a scrotum sac. I just hope everything keeps going ok. The doctor says I need to make it to at least another 7.5 more weeks for it to be a viable pregnancy. So please keep your fingers crossed, sticky vibes coming and any prayers you can offer. Thanks so much for being there for me ladies, I really appreciate it!