Child-free, but not by choice?

[Mickey'sMainMami]

Just another question, why the heck does it cost so much to do IVF?? Yet something like an abortion only costs like $300??? First of all you are taking MY egg which from what I heard isn't that big of a procedure, and my husbands sperm, which for him obviously there is nothing to the procedure but the cost of a plastic cup, putting it in a petrie dish or whatever they do, then put it in a syringe which costs what $20.00? then inserting into me. Again, not really a big deal. I think we should start a petition that we want to see what the costs of the $10,000 is going for and see if we can get the price lowered, seriously! I know a lot of people say if you can't afford the $10,000 to get IVF then how will you afford the money of raising a child in the long run, well I work steadily and so does my husband, and my child may not have everything name brand, but I can certainly keep a nice, clean roof over their head, keep them in fresh and clean nice clothes and always have 3 square nutritous meals a day in their bellies along with giving them all the love and attention they will ever need, along with the bi-yearly trip to Disney that I and my husband both said we would get seasonal jobs to save up for so our child can experience the magic. I mean I don't want you to think we are poor, because we are way past that, but we still struggle at times, who doesnt? So yeah, a lump sum as high as $10,000 up front is not something that I could really do but I will get it but I wouldn't be able to do it more than once unless we keep pushing it back to save up enough money and I am already 4 months away from my 30th b-day and my husband just turned 36, and I know the older you get the more complications can occur, so I don't want to keep waiting, but if I have to go without the designer purse so my child has clothes, shoes and food, than that is what I will do. I just don't understand the high price of IVF and adoption.

 

[SumMickeyfans]

Oh and the kicker I can pay $10,000 for one round of IVF. That is a joke, where am I going to come up with that kind of money.

Suzanne.....I know what you mean...when I did my 1st three IVF's...I travelled all the way to OHIO for them!! Yes, I live in TX...but there was a R/E there (in 2003) who had just opened his practice and was offering IVF for $2800 (((could ot beat that!!)). Anyway...3 years later and no baby...we decided to go to an R/E in Mexico for the other 2 IVF's....Needles to say I am still in the same boat !!!

It would be wonderful if your sister in law could be your surrogate. How much would it cost (if you don't mind me asking)?

R Dog Walt.....I think it really depends on the place where you go for the surrogacy there are a lot of Internet Surrogacy Agencies. It can get really expensive though...I have read on the (IDOB.org Board....another place I post) that it can cost up to $25,000 dollars!! But if you get a family member...that would really cut the cost!!

brightspark.......Hello...you and your husband sound like good candidates for IVF with ICSI...That is where they inject your D/H sperm directly into your eggs (basically does the work for the sperm)...Have you asked about that?

I just don't understand the high price of IVF and adoption.

Mickey'sMainMami.......join the club hun!!! I lost count on how much we have spent on IUI/IVF/D/E procedures ...But I THANK GOD everyday for our D/D (we adopted 7 years ago) It was an Open Adoption. The adoption was not as expensive as we thought it would be (don't mean to sound tacky, it was around $15,000) and we do not regret any penny of it!! We do not know where we woudl be without her today....I really think she is the reason I have not gone insane!!!

hematite153....Hi hope all is well....

 

[hematite153]

I think we should start a petition that we want to see what the costs of the $10,000 is going for and see if we can get the price lowered, seriously!

If they aren't giving you a price breakdown then you should definitely ask for it. (And, if they can't provide it consider a different dr.)

We were given a VERY detailed set of information about possible costs should we do IVF. It includes the costs of ALL drugs we might need (some of which our plan might cover), includes costs for ICSI even though we are using donor sperm and shouldn't need it, etc. The only costs it didn't list were the tests that they can bill directly to government health insurance that we never see. Grand total: roughly $6000. However, I'd bet that if you added in the stuff that the government pays for it would reach $10000. Every step of their pricing chart seemed reasonable and as low as they could make it. (I've even learned to use the in-house pharmacy because I save money that way.)

Again--I'm lucky to be working with the clinic that I am.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time. You're are welcome to scream here. We're listening! I know we can't change the day-to-day, but we do care!

Thank you for being so supportive. I have really found a great group here. I hate that we all have to go through this, but it is nice to have each other

Suzanne

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Hi,
Just found this thread, and wanted to say hi. Dh and I are 34 and been ttc for 18 months (not long in the big scheme) dh has had a number of tests and all except the last have shown his swimmers to have pretty much no motility! I see a gynae next week to decide what tests they want to do on me, but our dr has also referred us to an IVF clinic.

We've been to WDW 3 times together and it was really hard this last time (we had dh's first set of test results the day before we went) and I just kept crying... the whole 'just believe and your dreams will come true' theme this year was so hard! It's just not that easy is it. Dh hasn't been desparate for kids, but even he was making comments about 'what if we never have a little one to bring here...'

We bought into dvc last year full of dreams of bringing our little ones along with us... can't imagine never being able to do that.

We have some little disney baby clothes in a bag, which we bought ready.. hope we get to use them one day.

I love that 'things you shouldn't say' post.. lol made me laugh a lot - it's so true isn't it. I hate it when people come up and say 'so you've been married a while - when are you going to have kids?'

Another one that gets me is when someone who got preg really easily starts offering advice and saying things like 'I've got a book you can borrow so you know all the things to do' as if I'm a complete idiot and didn't have all the books long before they even started thinking about it!

And of course the old favourite ... don't worry I'm sure it will all be just fine!

Welcome to our group, and know we are here for you. Each of us has our own story of IF and have been through different treatment regimes (?sp), but in the end, we all have one goal and that is to be mothers.

I thought that when we last went to WDW, it would be hard (we took my 7 year old cousin on our first trip) to see all of the children, but I was so focused on what I wanted to do and see, that I didn't seem to notice the children, except a few times and they were being so cute, I couldn't get upset. I do look forward to the day I can take my child to WDW, but if that never happens, I will still enjoy the magic for myself.

I think I could open a book store with all of the books that I have, don't think I need any more.



I have found a clinic in India that only charges $3000 to $5000 for IVF, because doctors over there and in other foreign countries don't need to make a huge profit that the U.S. doctors feel they have to make. I am deathly afraid of flying, or I might go over there, you only have to be there for like 10 days to 2 weeks, of course you have to take your sample with you packed in dry ice, if your partner can't go with you. They can even arrange to have alot of the pre-procedure blood work done here so that you only have to go for a short stay.

I read an article recently, can't remember where, about women in the U.S. paying women in I think it was India to carry a baby for them It only costs about $5,000 and that is a 1 year salary for these women, they are happy to do it for us, many of them have lost their husband and have several children of their own, which is one of the requirements. This allows them to make a better life for their families.

I am close to Atlanta, and they have several clinics, but they all require that you have to be skinny to go through their program. That seems like discrimination to me. They have 2 and 3 cycle programs and if they don't work, of course you get most of your money back, but I of course don't qualify because I don't fit their image requirements

I hope everyone is having a great day, well I should say evening now.

Suzanne

 

[R Dog Walt]

Yes, IVF is expensive- but then again there is a lot to it and a lot that can go wrong. I agree that your RE should give you a breakdown. My IVF cycle was $9750 ($7000 for IVF + anesthesia+ ICSI- we used donor sperm but still did ICSI- based on a previous IVF cycle they thought my egg shells might be hard to penetrate). I wish I worked for a company that had infertility coverage or lived in an IVF mandated state. But alas, we don't... So that brings us to a HELOC and saving like crazy to afford the treatment. Luckily, my DEFET cycle is "reasonable"- "only" $2300!

Suzanne- I'm sorry that they have such stringent requirements at the clinics near your house. This does seem like discrimination. I'm wary of doing the shared risk (2-3 cycle programs) anyway because they require that you continue essentially the same course of treatment. At my clinic, if I had done one of these, I would be stuck doing 2 more cycles of IVF that more than likely wouldn't work for me (my embryos didn't make it transfer- poor egg quality). I couldn't have switched to donor eggs or embryos. So essentially I'm glad that I didn't do it. Hindsight is always 20/20. KWIM?

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Suzanne- I'm sorry that they have such stringent requirements at the clinics near your house. This does seem like discrimination. I'm wary of doing the shared risk (2-3 cycle programs) anyway because they require that you continue essentially the same course of treatment. At my clinic, if I had done one of these, I would be stuck doing 2 more cycles of IVF that more than likely wouldn't work for me (my embryos didn't make it transfer- poor egg quality). I couldn't have switched to donor eggs or embryos. So essentially I'm glad that I didn't do it. Hindsight is always 20/20. KWIM?

I'm glad you told me that, because of course they don't tell that on their website. But then again, I didn't pay alot of attention after I saw I didn't qualify because I didn't fit the image. We would probably have to have ICSI, because DH's little guys aren't great.

I hate to sound stupid, but what is DEFET?

Suzanne

 

[R Dog Walt]

I hate to sound stupid, but what is DEFET?

Suzanne

I don't think you sound stupid at all! It's a donor embryo frozen embryo transfer. Couples who were finished with their embryos at our clinic "donated" their extra embryos. So in June, I'm doing a frozen cycle with 2 embryos donated from another couple. My embryos were the result of a donor egg/donor sperm IVF cycle so I feel really fortunate. We only have to pay the cost of the frozen cycle. It's a wonderful program that my RE runs- the embryos are a straight donation. I feel so fortunate that other couples have donated so we have this opportunity.

I'm not saying all shared risk is bad, but make sure you look at all of the fine print. I've heard many women sing it's praises! But for me, it would have been a bad deal in hindsight because my eggs have little to no chance of producing a viable embryo that could sustain a pregnancy.

 

[DznyLvr2005]

Just another question, why the heck does it cost so much to do IVF?? Yet something like an abortion only costs like $300??? First of all you are taking MY egg which from what I heard isn't that big of a procedure, and my husbands sperm, which for him obviously there is nothing to the procedure but the cost of a plastic cup, putting it in a petrie dish or whatever they do, then put it in a syringe which costs what $20.00? then inserting into me. Again, not really a big deal. I think we should start a petition that we want to see what the costs of the $10,000 is going for and see if we can get the price lowered, seriously! I know a lot of people say if you can't afford the $10,000 to get IVF then how will you afford the money of raising a child in the long run, well I work steadily and so does my husband, and my child may not have everything name brand, but I can certainly keep a nice, clean roof over their head, keep them in fresh and clean nice clothes and always have 3 square nutritous meals a day in their bellies along with giving them all the love and attention they will ever need, along with the bi-yearly trip to Disney that I and my husband both said we would get seasonal jobs to save up for so our child can experience the magic. I mean I don't want you to think we are poor, because we are way past that, but we still struggle at times, who doesnt? So yeah, a lump sum as high as $10,000 up front is not something that I could really do but I will get it but I wouldn't be able to do it more than once unless we keep pushing it back to save up enough money and I am already 4 months away from my 30th b-day and my husband just turned 36, and I know the older you get the more complications can occur, so I don't want to keep waiting, but if I have to go without the designer purse so my child has clothes, shoes and food, than that is what I will do. I just don't understand the high price of IVF and adoption.

I think it's because they do chromosone analysis on the sperm and egg to make sure they are 'healthy'... Chromosone analysis costs ALOT of money... INSURANCE SHOULD COVER THIS!!!! IT's not fair!
We just went through genetic testing because I keep having miscarriages and the genetetist said that the tests we had just to analyise costs over $4000... thank god insurance covers (I HOPE, it's what they told me!!!)

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

I don't think you sound stupid at all! It's a donor embryo frozen embryo transfer. Couples who were finished with their embryos at our clinic "donated" their extra embryos. So in June, I'm doing a frozen cycle with 2 embryos donated from another couple. My embryos were the result of a donor egg/donor sperm IVF cycle so I feel really fortunate. We only have to pay the cost of the frozen cycle. It's a wonderful program that my RE runs- the embryos are a straight donation. I feel so fortunate that other couples have donated so we have this opportunity.

I'm not saying all shared risk is bad, but make sure you look at all of the fine print. I've heard many women sing it's praises! But for me, it would have been a bad deal in hindsight because my eggs have little to no chance of producing a viable embryo that could sustain a pregnancy.

I have heard of that now that you decoded the acronym for me. The RE I saw is all about money. I don't know what condition my eggs are in, they have never been tested. I have had numerous blood tests, an HSG, US's, DH SA, but beyond that nothing else has been tested, and many of those weren't discussed with me. I feel like I don't know much more today then I did when I was going through the procedure 2 1/2 years ago. I haven't shared this yet, but we used donor sperm on our 2nd and 3rd attempts, so now the more I think about it, the more I think I am the one with the problem. I wish I had the guts and the money to go back, or find another RE.


Suzanne

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Just another question, why the heck does it cost so much to do IVF?? Yet something like an abortion only costs like $300??? First of all you are taking MY egg which from what I heard isn't that big of a procedure, and my husbands sperm, which for him obviously there is nothing to the procedure but the cost of a plastic cup, putting it in a petrie dish or whatever they do, then put it in a syringe which costs what $20.00? then inserting into me. Again, not really a big deal

I actually thought about trying an IUI using a turkey baster. . That syringe probably cost about $1.00. I don't know why we can't get together and create our own clinic

Now who could we get to be our RE?

Suzanne

 

[hematite153]

I wish I had the guts and the money to go back, or find another RE.

When you are ready to go back, going back to another dr/clinic might be worth doing. (And/or be high maintenance and tell your dr that you want more information about the cycles you've already done.)

 

[hematite153]

I actually thought about trying an IUI using a turkey baster. . That syringe probably cost about $1.00. I don't know why we can't get together and create our own clinic

While this looks like it was intended as a joke, I actually have a friend who is pregnant right now and got pregnant this way. (Not with a turkey baster but with syringes purchased and used at home.) She called it "artistic insemination".

Only problem is, she had no facilities for other IF treatments and, because it's not washed, is supposed to be placed just outside the cervix (some people risk this but infection could put a permanent end to pregnancy dreams so I don't think it's worthwhile). So, you'd have to do multiple inseminations every month. She said that "artistic insemination" has better odds of success. But, I wonder if that's about who's trying it. (It still took her about 6 months which is similar to averages for IUI through fertility clinics.)

But, for those of you who are taking treatment breaks for financial reasons it couldn't hurt to try during the break. (Well, it could hurt emotionally if you're like me....)

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

While this looks like it was intended as a joke, I actually have a friend who is pregnant right now and got pregnant this way. (Not with a turkey baster but with syringes purchased and used at home.) She called it "artistic insemination".

Only problem is, she had no facilities for other IF treatments and, because it's not washed, is supposed to be placed just outside the cervix (some people risk this but infection could put a permanent end to pregnancy dreams so I don't think it's worthwhile). So, you'd have to do multiple inseminations every month. She said that "artistic insemination" has better odds of success. But, I wonder if that's about who's trying it. (It still took her about 6 months which is similar to averages for IUI through fertility clinics.)

But, for those of you who are taking treatment breaks for financial reasons it couldn't hurt to try during the break. (Well, it could hurt emotionally if you're like me....)

It was actually, because it was a sort of running joke for me when I was going through my IUI's. I thought it was a great way to save money, but of course, it doesn't seem that it would work for me either. That is one home remedy I am not willing to try.

Suzanne

 

[notafan]

Just saw the topic thread and don't usually come here. DW and I were on the fertilethoughts.com website a lot when we were TTC. Good support there. Best wishes in your journeys.

 

[aclov]

Just saw the topic thread and don't usually come here. DW and I were on the fertilethoughts.com website a lot when we were TTC. Good support there. Best wishes in your journeys.

I just found this website and there seems to be tons of information. I usually post on another IVF board (can't remember the name) but I think it's UK based because alot of Europeans post on there. Not that there's anything wrong with that - it just shows that other people in the world are going through the same misfortune.

 

[aclov]

Yes, IVF is expensive- but then again there is a lot to it and a lot that can go wrong. I agree that your RE should give you a breakdown. My IVF cycle was $9750 ($7000 for IVF + anesthesia+ ICSI- we used donor sperm but still did ICSI- based on a previous IVF cycle they thought my egg shells might be hard to penetrate). I wish I worked for a company that had infertility coverage or lived in an IVF mandated state. But alas, we don't... So that brings us to a HELOC and saving like crazy to afford the treatment. Luckily, my DEFET cycle is "reasonable"- "only" $2300!

Don't forget the drugs that go into a IVF cycle and injectibles are very expensive. I had to pay out of pocket for Menupor and it was $740 for about 7 vials. I don't think it's only the dr's that are trying to make money (I'm not saying ALL of them are like this) but also the pharmacetical(sp?) companies. Some RE's will give you a break on the cost if you do multiple cycles and I know someone on another board that did the shared risk program and is preg from her 1st IVF cycle. She will have to pay more but she said it's worth it for her. I wouldn't be able to do IVF if it wasn't for new insurance from an employer that I started last Oct., I actually got downsized and continued with Cobra which is expensive. I'm still not working but currently looking. Ugh, everything cost so much!

 

[aclov]

Hi,
Just found this thread, and wanted to say hi. Dh and I are 34 and been ttc for 18 months (not long in the big scheme) dh has had a number of tests and all except the last have shown his swimmers to have pretty much no motility! I see a gynae next week to decide what tests they want to do on me, but our dr has also referred us to an IVF clinic.

We've been to WDW 3 times together and it was really hard this last time (we had dh's first set of test results the day before we went) and I just kept crying... the whole 'just believe and your dreams will come true' theme this year was so hard! It's just not that easy is it. Dh hasn't been desparate for kids, but even he was making comments about 'what if we never have a little one to bring here...'

We bought into dvc last year full of dreams of bringing our little ones along with us... can't imagine never being able to do that.

We have some little disney baby clothes in a bag, which we bought ready.. hope we get to use them one day.

I love that 'things you shouldn't say' post.. lol made me laugh a lot - it's so true isn't it. I hate it when people come up and say 'so you've been married a while - when are you going to have kids?'

Another one that gets me is when someone who got preg really easily starts offering advice and saying things like 'I've got a book you can borrow so you know all the things to do' as if I'm a complete idiot and didn't have all the books long before they even started thinking about it!

And of course the old favourite ... don't worry I'm sure it will all be just fine!

Hi Brightspark - Welcome to this thread

Dh and I also own DVC and I know how difficult it is to wonder if you will every bring a child. I actually purchased a year before we got married in hopes to preplan ahead for some magical memories. Dh and I never went to WDW as children, our parents could not afford to take us so we wanted something better for our children. Dh has gotten to the point where he doesn't even care to go to the parks anymore, his attitude is that until he has a child he will set foot in there. I have been thinking of selling because it defeats the purpose of having DVC, and I actually did sell one of my contracts. I do love WDW and I can't see myself selling the other one so I guess I'll just go with my friends or family for now.

 

[aclov]

Oh, I just want to mention real quick about the at-home kit or doing-it-yourself syringes. I received a DVD and letter from a company and I can't remember the name, it was Conception something. I didn't see the DVD but the letter explained about a cup that you insert in the cervix and how many people have had success doing it at home this way. The cost was about $400. I guess this sounds better than a turkey baster

 

[R Dog Walt]

While this looks like it was intended as a joke, I actually have a friend who is pregnant right now and got pregnant this way. (Not with a turkey baster but with syringes purchased and used at home.) She called it "artistic insemination".

Only problem is, she had no facilities for other IF treatments and, because it's not washed, is supposed to be placed just outside the cervix (some people risk this but infection could put a permanent end to pregnancy dreams so I don't think it's worthwhile). So, you'd have to do multiple inseminations every month. She said that "artistic insemination" has better odds of success. But, I wonder if that's about who's trying it. (It still took her about 6 months which is similar to averages for IUI through fertility clinics.)

This is how DP and I started out actually!! We used frozen sperm, but we'd go to the cryobank, seatbelt in the cryobank, bring it home, and use a syringe to inseminate. When I first visited the RE, he actually suggested this! We used OPKs and did do 2 inseminations each month. We did this for quite a few months while we were getting some intial testing done and waiting to start the injectable IUI cycles.

aclov- I hate the cost of the meds too! I think I spent about $300-600 out of pocket a month last year while doing 6 injectable IUI cycles and 1 IVF. I was fortunate that I was always a good responder and had lower doses than others. Luckily, my insurance paid for a portion of the meds too. I agree that the pharmaceutical companies are making a lot of money!