Chickens' Jackin' My Style...7/9 Generic Cereal

[AshClan]

I'm in! And already enjoying tremendously, of course!

DED on the Shiny Mrs. Sparkly Pants (is that right?) and you and your mom BOTH being so excited as to "accidentally" take pills that you weren't supposed to take!

I can't wait to hear how GB stole your vacation.

 

[Mrs. The King]

So I called my mother today. She answered, which admittedly she has gotten much better at.
“Oh, hi daughter. Where am I? I am at Aunt Blibbity Blobbity’s. They are having a tiling party. She needed her kitchen tiled, so they made it a party.”
I hung up shortly after to the sounds of laughing and hammering.
What a crock. Have you encountered this yet? A party for menial tasks? That isn’t a party. Have we stretched the word party to the breaking point? I think we have. I have heard of Botox parties, Tupperware parties, and divorce parties, which in my humble opinion, are barley parties. They are more like parts.

But a tiling party? How boring is that? All the bending over butt cracks. All the sweating? That sounds more like a Disney trip.

So fine, if we are all buying into this nonsense. I am having a body hair party. We can all take turns shaving Mrs. The King’s legs. Sounds like fun? I will order pizza and have a six pack of beer. Bring the kids.

Speaking of body hair, which we all know I love to do, PS was asking me about hair on the body today. In school she learned that our skin is covered with fine hair. All over. This tidbit has stuck with her and prompted many questions I may or may not want to answer just yet. After spying some prickly hair under my pits, she started to ask about the difference between kids and adults.

Hold up disboards, don’t ban me yet.

So, I mentioned as a species we have hair on sensitive parts that needed protecting, such as the armpits.

PS ~ “So when I’m adult it will just grow like a wild animal?”

Me~ “Pretty much. Anyone want an ice cream?”

Back to my mother who actually made me spit grape juice on the kitchen floor the other day.

We had just discussed a new recipe I loved that I wanted her to try. She called back about 15 minutes later.

~ “You know how you just gave me a recipe? Well, I am going to give you something you shouldn’t try.”

Me ~ “Ok.” I never know where she is headed when she says crap like this.

~ “Well, I decided to try tuna fish sandwich with a big blob of heaping relish for your father and I”

sidenote: Some people my actually like this style of tuna sandwich, but trust me, after mom is done working her magic, you would rather lick the bottom your shoe after walking around Manhattan.

continues: “So your father eats it, as usual.”
Me ~ ”Of course.”

~ “Your father would eat a piece of rubber between two slices of bread if I gave it to him”
Which had me wondering if she had actually tried that at one time.

Me~”Naturally”

Dad does it to be polite, he is a great guy. I also think my mother killed his taste buds years ago.

“So I ask him, ‘How did you like that?’”

I take a huge gulp of grape juice.

"He says (she does his deep monotone voice) “What was it?”
Spew/choke deep purple grape juice everywhere. Like a sitcom. Like we all pretend to do on our computer monitors, but rarely actually do.

Anyhoo. Wasn’t this trip report about Disney. Quit getting me off track.

So we arrived at Grandma and Grandpa’s, their house was still standing which is a testament to how fast my father is with a fire extinguisher.
PC had a list of things he wanted to try in a five hour period that was hilarious. And of course Grandma insisted we do it all. So we had a tennis tournament, swimming, some sort of ice cream party. We trashed their place like only we can do. This year we were headed to Disney the following morning. So we should have went to sleep sooner. But we never do. We stay up laughing and talking until way too late.

When I finally stumbled out of bed in the morning, it was 11:00am! We were hoping for early check in and I had snored that possibility off entirely.
I repacked our things as quickly as we could. We had about an hour and a half drive to the place. The best place in the world.
We stopped in Mickey D’s for lunch. * Gurgle, hurl *
Next thing we know the billboards are getting huge. The mascots on the building get huge!! Holy Crow, they super size everything in Orlando.

The plain green road sign say “Disney World.”

Squeals.

Then Disney takes over the roads and changes the sign color. Mickey’s ears pop up behind the purple signs.

Oh my!

Then, with grandpa’s car in the lead, we are taken to our hotel. Our tiny piece of Real Estate in the World.
All Star Music.

Which is great. Honest. We have even stayed there in the past. Gee whiz the mattress was so good, I slept like a dinosaur slapped me with his tail every night at bed time.

But now I will reveal how Great Biscuit stole my vacation.
We had originally tried to get into POP Century. It is our go to place. Check my previous reports. Where were we? POP. I like their chicken. I like their Hippy Dippy pool. I like their Goofy in his underwear splash park.
But there was no availability at the cast pricing. We checked again and again. So we went to our back up.
We also waited to purchase the dining plan at cast prices. And waited and waited. No cast program POPped up in June. So no dining plan this trip either.

Can’t be disappointed, we were in Disney right. And I was fine with it. Fine. No shakes no troubles.

I get over to Great Biscuit’s TR and find that low and behold, he had POP. He had dining plan. He had a large group. He had matching homemade t-shirts. He also posts pictures of his family and adorable children, which I don’t do.
So now, really, I am the generic version of Great Biscuit. Like the fake Cheerios. The store brand you buy when times are tight. It’s ok. I’m not even crying about it. We all need generic cereal sometimes. So what if you are only using it for arts and crafts projects for toddlers. You are using it.
So the Kings are there. In the lobby. Getting ready to check in. That’s a good place to stop right?

Next up: Will we get adjoining rooms? Will we find Nonnie and Poppy? Did Florida get moved to the surface of the sun? Do the horrific murals painted by THE DEVIL in the All Star Food Court come alive at night and eat what’s left of Mrs. The King’s brain?

 

[Mrs. The King]

and their nuggets too...... sorry I couldn't resist!!!!

Signing up for this ride.

I'm a fairly recent DIS convert and just returned from WDW on 6/15. So I've been spending my time discovering some of the "legendary" TRs - some of them several years old but hilarious still.

I must admit that I haven't read your old ones yet - I was working my way to them when I discovered this one. But I know your posts on some of the others - Zzub, LaLa, hucifer, Mr. Panic Attack, etc. And I just discovered GB's a couple of days ago - I'm enjoying that one a great deal. So I know that I'm looking forward to this ride.

Bring it on!

Poor Zzub. I miss him. Here's to hoping he lurks. Thanks for joining! Welcome to the addiction.

I have lurked my way through all of your previous TR's and decided I was not going to miss another.

Love your writing style and your sense of humor. Everyone needs one, some fail to realize that fact.

Keep up this fine report.

Ginny

Hey Ginny!! Thank you for lurking and for popping out, I hope I give you a few chuckles.

I am pretty sure I will do both, and maybe shart a little too...

We are staying at All Star Sports... It actually started out at Pop, then we upgraded to CBR, then upgraded again to AKL, but less than a week after we did that, we had some family need some financial help, so when we went to downgrade to be able to help them, nothing was available in Value or Mod besides ASSp so we grabbed it, now there are other mods available but we are kinda excited about Sports so we are just sticking with it... Long story, I know...

We are staying for 2 full weeks... 13 nights... We have 12 full days and a half day on each end for travel days... We leave in 69 days...

My husband has been practicing his stance with his monopod... I keep telling him that he is not following the instructions... So he reads them again and tries again....

Men and their monopods. (this is all I could type that wouldn't get me banned for real)

Yup were were ASSMU. So attractive sounding.

I'm in! And already enjoying tremendously, of course!

DED on the Shiny Mrs. Sparkly Pants (is that right?) and you and your mom BOTH being so excited as to "accidentally" take pills that you weren't supposed to take!

I can't wait to hear how GB stole your vacation.

We both did didn't we? Man, I am just freaking like her. Oh well.

Hey AshClan!! So happy to see you here.

 

[aaaateamsgrandma]

Good follow-up. Here in Missouri we have parties like that. We remodled a bathroom in a weekend and put up a deck in another weekend. Just furnish food and beer. DO NOT let the beer drinkers use a nail gun. Not pretty. And the emergency room people laugh. Then you have to find one sober enough to get them there.

I know people that cook like your mom. My MIL. She used to make spaghetti with a can of tomato sauce over noodles. Yummo.

Keep up the good work.

Ginny

 

[Normangirls]

Did you report GB to Disney security for stealing your vacation? If you complained about it loud enough, they might have comped your room.

Or given you a pin to "celebrate" it.

How about a Jiggler party? The mind just reels with the possibilities...


Anyway, great update, as always. Thank you!

 

[praisehisname]

Hi Mrs. the King! I'm coming along for the ride. I loved all your other reports, and was so excited to see another one!

Denise

 

[GreatBiscuit]

GB, of course. He would be busy taking his two handed picture. I would be running from my sparkle husband.

Definitely me. I can't tell you many times I was bumped, haranged, and mauled by strollers while stopping to take a photo. It was QUITE crowded.

Please. I don't even need to be crated at night anymore. I can't speak for him. * smirks *

First Lady Biscuit lets me out of the crate now, but there have been many threats concerning a strategically placed cork.

Anyhoo. Wasn’t this trip report about Disney. Quit getting me off track.

But it wouldn't be a proper MTK TR without body hair and humorous parent stories! (Which may or may not have made me pretend to spit a non-existent beverage on my monitor.)

When I finally stumbled out of bed in the morning, it was 11:00am! We were hoping for early check in and I had snored that possibility off entirely.

DOH!

The plain green road sign say “Disney World.”

Squeals.

Then Disney takes over the roads and changes the sign color. Mickey’s ears pop up behind the purple signs.

Oh my!

But now I will reveal how Great Biscuit stole my vacation.

We had originally tried to get into POP Century. It is our go to place. Check my previous reports. Where were we? POP. I like their chicken. I like their Hippy Dippy pool. I like their Goofy in his underwear splash park. But there was no availability at the cast pricing. We checked again and again. So we went to our back up. We also waited to purchase the dining plan at cast prices. And waited and waited. No cast program POPped up in June. So no dining plan this trip either.

Can’t be disappointed, we were in Disney right. And I was fine with it. Fine. No shakes no troubles.

Uh-Oh

I get over to Great Biscuit’s TR and find that low and behold, he had POP. He had dining plan. He had a large group. He had matching homemade t-shirts. He also posts pictures of his family and adorable children, which I don’t do. So now, really, I am the generic version of Great Biscuit. Like the fake Cheerios. The store brand you buy when times are tight. It’s ok. I’m not even crying about it. We all need generic cereal sometimes. So what if you are only using it for arts and crafts projects for toddlers. You are using it.

Sorry! We didn't mean to steal it! Honest!

And look at all the things you DO have. A monopod for one. And I gotta say, that ranks HIGH. I mean that's at least 50 bonus points right there. Plus you got hair jokes. Seriously, who can compete with body hair humor?

So the Kings are there. In the lobby. Getting ready to check in. That’s a good place to stop right?

Next up: Will we get adjoining rooms? Will we find Nonnie and Poppy? Did Florida get moved to the surface of the sun? Do the horrific murals painted by THE DEVIL in the All Star Food Court come alive at night and eat what’s left of Mrs. The King’s brain?

from a safe, Non-Biscuit-Killing distance.

 

[MissMagnolia]

Yeah! Back on the boards after a bit of a break (I tend to be a fickle DISer and obsess on the boards only when a vacation is in the works) and I find a TR from Mrs. The King! I've enjoyed the past ones and am signing on!

 

[jezaduck24]

Spew/choke deep purple grape juice everywhere. Like a sitcom. Like we all pretend to do on our computer monitors, but rarely actually do.

4 pages and 2 snarfs already. I think this TR needs to come with a complimentary Swiffer WetJet!!!

 

[Liz]

Great to see you back, bringing the funny as much as ever! Now if Zzub and LaLa would write TR's again my world would be complete!

 

[Simba22]

Just found your TR and I love love love it! You are tooo freakin' funny! Can't wait for more!

 

[walkerag]

OH MY DOG! Yay!! MTK is back!!! I just came across your new TR and am checking in

 

[Pinkpony]

So now, really, I am the generic version of Great Biscuit.
[/B]

Biscuit who!

You ain't no generic version of nothin'! You're Peter Pan Peanut Butter, Wonder Bread, Xanax, Coca Cola, Del Monte (who buys the generic green beans with the stems still in the can anyway? ) You're the full pop, missy!

Thanks for another chapter of heehawing and giggling.

 

[mybestieismickey]

So glad you have a new report in the works. I stumbled on to your last TR (I like to click on random links in people's signatures) and loved it. Seriously, I laughed out loud so much and so often that DH finally started reading along. And he almost never reads TRs with me. He prefers a different forum that involves fishing and other stuff for outside people. But even he laughed out loud so you are certifiably funny.

 

[OKWMom]

Woooooo-Hooooooooo!!!!!!! A new trip report by my favorite TR writer of all time! I read your last two and all I can say is - I laughed, I cried, it was much better than Cats.

Seriously (if that is possible in this forum) I so need some humor in my life right now and this report is like manna from heaven, or fudge from Main Street.

 

[whogirl'smom]

My kitchen has so many Kroger brand items in it, it's not even funny! So, you go with your Hydrox, Puffed Wheat, Processed Sandwich Slice, Ground Beef Skillet Dinner trip-writing self!!

 

[whogirl'smom]

, or fudge from Main Street.

Shhhh--you'll wake the beast....

 

[OKWMom]

Shhhh--you'll wake the beast....

 

[carrieannie]

I think you like Mr.TK better. you are nicer to him. And your chicken pets must be cute. Sure to you. Maybe I need a pic to convince me.

Maybe I`m just sucking up to Mr TK because my middle child is starting Middle School in the fall. or maybe not..but I definitely like you better! or your Mom.
You really want some pictures of my pet chickens?
OK...you asked for them!

 

[codyvt]

OMG - you are HYSTERICAL! Clearly my entire day tomorrow must be devoted to reading the past King family TRs. How have I missed them? LOVE, LOVE, LOVE IT!!!!