Cheerfully child-free. Anyone else?

[UConnJack]

We don't have hostility towards children...We just hate the way some parents allow them to act in public and ruin it for others...Not all kids are bad but these days, we see a lot of them and it's no fun.

I'll tell you, nobody hates parents who don't control their children more than parents who do. Nothing irks me more than seeing lazy parents who either don't have the stones to displine and control their children, are too ignorant or oblivious to see the problem, or worse yet, don't believe their child's behaivior at the expense of others is inappropriate.

That said, some childless people do hold the standards a little too high and don't cut enough slack for kids being kids. As long as an obvious and concerted effort is being made by the parents, with removal of the child if the situation doesn't improve, I would hope that people at least have some measure of patience with the situation.

 

[PhotobearSam]

I also think that your emotions and reactions are on you, as an adult. As an adult, I'd hope you wouldn't allow the actions of someone else to ruin your vacation.

I only think this is true to a certain point.

I have gone to a restaurant and had my meal RUINED by a bratty child whose parents were not stopping them from running around and UNDER our table, who screeched at the top of her lungs for 20 minutes, and ran into waiter, chairs, patrons and tables. I was in that restaurant for a NICE meal and instead, I left with a headache. The child (but I mostly blame the horrible parenting in this case) DID ruin my meal...I can only "Put on a happy face" for so long until it's just ruined.

Now, I am not saying that all children are like this...My brother has 2 gorgeous girls who I love very much, and he would NEVER allow them to do what this child did.

Back when we were kids, parents made more of an effort on the whole...Now, it's more the exception than the rule to see well behaved children.

I have known several teachers who have quit teaching because of how unruly the majority of children have gotten.

When I do see well behaved children, we always comment to the parents what a good job they are doing...I like to think that people really appreciate the "job well done" when they work so hard at it.

What I don't....never mind.

 

[PhotobearSam]

That said, some childless people do hold the standards a little too high and don't cut enough slack for kids being kids. As long as an obvious and concerted effort is being made by the parents, with removal of the child if the situation doesn't improve, I would hope that people at least have some measure of patience with the situation.

That is what I consider myself...You described me to a Tee...If I see effort, I can handle it but you are not the norm anymore...Thank you for doing your job. We child-free people really do appreciate it.

 

[TurboKitty]

I only think this is true to a certain point.

I have gone to a restaurant and had my meal RUINED by a bratty child whose parents were not stopping them from running around and UNDER our table, who screeched at the top of her lungs for 20 minutes, and ran into waiter, chairs, patrons and tables. I was in that restaurant for a NICE meal and instead, I left with a headache. The child (but I mostly blame the horrible parenting in this case) DID ruin my meal...I can only "Put on a happy face" for so long until it's just ruined.

Now, I am not saying that all children are like this...My brother has 2 gorgeous girls who I love very much, and he would NEVER allow them to do what this child did.

Back when we were kids, parents made more of an effort on the whole...Now, it's more the exception than the rule to see well behaved children.

I have known several teachers who have quit teaching because of how unruly the majority of children have gotten.

When I do see well behaved children, we always comment to the parents what a good job they are doing...I like to think that people really appreciate the "job well done" when they work so hard at it.

What I don't....never mind.

That does sound like a terrible situation, and an exeption, not the rule when you go out, no? In that instance, I hope you asked the manager to present your bill to the parents of that child. I also hope that one experience doesn't color your view of all restaurants..or parents.

 

[PhotobearSam]

That does sound like a terrible situation, and an exeption, not the rule when you go out, no? In that instance, I hope you asked the manager to present your bill to the parents of that child. I also hope that one experience doesn't color your view of all restaurants..or parents.

You are joking right? The parents did not even try to stop their child's behavior and you think they would have paid my bill? I would not have put the manger in that situation. They tried everything except throwing them out to stop this child.

and of course, this did not COLOUR my view of all restaurants or parents...Even us Child-free people don't generalize that much.

 

[Aunt Michelle]

I'll tell you, nobody hates parents who don't control their children more than parents who do. Nothing irks me more than seeing lazy parents who either don't have the stones to displine and control their children, are too ignorant or oblivious to see the problem, or worse yet, don't believe their child's behaivior at the expense of others is inappropriate.

That said, some childless people do hold the standards a little too high and don't cut enough slack for kids being kids. As long as an obvious and concerted effort is being made by the parents, with removal of the child if the situation doesn't improve, I would hope that people at least have some measure of patience with the situation.

I do understand, as I am sure that many other Childless single and couples do, that "kids will be kids." I have the inexplicable joy to have seven nieces and a nephew, all currently under the age of eleven.
What I have a hard time understanding is why, as the childless person, I am always asked and expected to be the tolerant one. I am speaking for myself and not putting words at the fingers of any other of the frequent posters to this thread. I hear "you should be more patient, " "you have low tolerance," "you don't understand how _______ (fill in the blank with hard, difficult, tiring) it is to have children."
I think I have a fairly unique situation, my parents are still happily married, both my sister's are happily married, we all like and get along with each other, and we have all relocated and intentionally ended up within a very close area. When my sister and her husband want to go out to dinner, they call my parents or myself and ask if we can stay with the children, if none of us is available, they don't go out. They do not take their children out to dinner at 8:00 PM just because they feel like they need or want to go out. They do not take their children to the grocery store at 10:30 PM.
One of the previous posters mentioned that they hoped the bad experience was an exception not the norm. Thankfully I still believe that to be true, but it is not as true as it used to be. Sometimes it seems that people have children and expect to go on with their lives without anything changing, i.e. the people who take their already tired child to a $$$ restaurant at 8:00 PM on a Saturday night. If I know by looking at the child that they are exhausted, beyond hungry and about to have a meltdown, why don't their parents know? If they know, why don't they care? How nice can their dinner be if their child is unhappy all the way through dinner? I've heard the response to these situations, maybe they can't get a sitter, aren't people with children allowed to go out... etc.
It just seems that some people have forgotten that when they decided to have a child or two that they would become parents, not just an adult with a child. <- I'm sure that last sentence probably doesn't make any sense, and this post will likely draw all sorts of tsk, tsks.
My sister takes her five children aged (10, 8, 6, 4 and 15 months) to Chick-fil-A every other Tuesday evening for dinner (her husband travels during the week), she said she was a loss of explanation about a month ago when during this outing her eight year old asked her a question for which she had no answer. While they were eating a couple with a little boy came in and sat a couple of tables away. My sister said the gentlemen was in a Business Suit and the woman looked like she worked as well. The little boy sat with his (assumed) parents who were deep in discussion, and proceeded to take his ketchup and dipping sauce and smear it all over the table. The adults made no move to curtail this behavior. The child, then bored and covered in sticky sauce, was allowed to wander around the restaurant touching everything. My sister said that eight year old Caitlin leaned over to her and asked "why doesn't his mommy make him behave better?"
Do we always share the horror stories here? Of course. Why would anyone need to vent over "I was in this restaurant today and there was this child and he was so well behaved."

I am not even sure I made a point. I am just so frustrated with everyone getting scolded and bashed (not just in this thread but others) every time a negative comment is made in regards to a child.

Now back to your regularly scheduled program.

 

[katerkat]

We are 72 hours away from a 4 day cruise (not Disney)... already I am starting to worry about screaming kids running around the pool. But I researched this trip pretty carefully, and it doesn't look very child-friendly (It's Celebrity Cruiseline)
I also thought that end of Feb isn't close to Spring Break for anyone.
Of course, that won't stop some couple from bring "Precious" with them and thinking it's perfectly okay for Precious to have the run of the ship.
Oh please, let this trip be quiet and fun!
I'll let you know how it goes!

We just cruised with RCCL (slightly lower on the cruise line scale from Celebrity) and there were 80 kids total on the ship, including my son and niece. It was pretty quiet - we never ran into obnoxious kids (rarely saw any kids), but it was chilly enough that the pools were almost always empty. The worst behaved kid I saw was my own, who screeched the last night when his cousin was put in "his" high chair. (Luckily we were able to calm him down within a minute.)

However, the worst behaved people I saw were the Green Bay Packers fans. We Giants fans had to watch the game in our room because the bars were out of control. Thank God we didn't go two weeks later and run into Patriots fans.

 

[Hixski]

I do understand, as I am sure that many other Childless single and couples do, that "kids will be kids." I have the inexplicable joy to have seven nieces and a nephew, all currently under the age of eleven.
What I have a hard time understanding is why, as the childless person, I am always asked and expected to be the tolerant one. I am speaking for myself and not putting words at the fingers of any other of the frequent posters to this thread. I hear "you should be more patient, " "you have low tolerance," "you don't understand how _______ (fill in the blank with hard, difficult, tiring) it is to have children."
I think I have a fairly unique situation, my parents are still happily married, both my sister's are happily married, we all like and get along with each other, and we have all relocated and intentionally ended up within a very close area. When my sister and her husband want to go out to dinner, they call my parents or myself and ask if we can stay with the children, if none of us is available, they don't go out. They do not take their children out to dinner at 8:00 PM just because they feel like they need or want to go out. They do not take their children to the grocery store at 10:30 PM.
One of the previous posters mentioned that they hoped the bad experience was an exception not the norm. Thankfully I still believe that to be true, but it is not as true as it used to be. Sometimes it seems that people have children and expect to go on with their lives without anything changing, i.e. the people who take their already tired child to a $$$ restaurant at 8:00 PM on a Saturday night. If I know by looking at the child that they are exhausted, beyond hungry and about to have a meltdown, why don't their parents know? If they know, why don't they care? How nice can their dinner be if their child is unhappy all the way through dinner? I've heard the response to these situations, maybe they can't get a sitter, aren't people with children allowed to go out... etc.
It just seems that some people have forgotten that when they decided to have a child or two that they would become parents, not just an adult with a child. <- I'm sure that last sentence probably doesn't make any sense, and this post will likely draw all sorts of tsk, tsks.
My sister takes her five children aged (10, 8, 6, 4 and 15 months) to Chick-fil-A every other Tuesday evening for dinner (her husband travels during the week), she said she was a loss of explanation about a month ago when during this outing her eight year old asked her a question for which she had no answer. While they were eating a couple with a little boy came in and sat a couple of tables away. My sister said the gentlemen was in a Business Suit and the woman looked like she worked as well. The little boy sat with his (assumed) parents who were deep in discussion, and proceeded to take his ketchup and dipping sauce and smear it all over the table. The adults made no move to curtail this behavior. The child, then bored and covered in sticky sauce, was allowed to wander around the restaurant touching everything. My sister said that eight year old Caitlin leaned over to her and asked "why doesn't his mommy make him behave better?"
Do we always share the horror stories here? Of course. Why would anyone need to vent over "I was in this restaurant today and there was this child and he was so well behaved."

I am not even sure I made a point. I am just so frustrated with everyone getting scolded and bashed (not just in this thread but others) every time a negative comment is made in regards to a child.

Now back to your regularly scheduled program.

If you read vents from parents against other parents everyone seems to be much more sympathetic. If a parent was describing the above scenario people wouldn't be saying they need to be more tolerant they would be jumping on that vent too.

I have said numerous times that DH and I sit at the bar at places like Applebees, TGI Fridays, etc. At least there I don't have to worry about a child UNDER my table or putting food in my hair at a booth. (Yes, it has happened). We see well behaved children but sadly that is becoming not as frequent as it used to be.

 

[maddhatir]

O---M--G!!!!!!!!

This is the FIRST thing I thought of when I saw the word...."precious"!!!!

myyyyyyyyy precioussssssss

I am peeing!

 

[PhotobearSam]

Why do some people who have kids come on here just to ???

Why is it that if one of us says something, it's considered a slur and we are accused of thinking EVERY child is like that when we don't say that at all...

I know (as well as all of you) that NOT every child is misbehaved but that a lot are.

I think that as child free, we have a unique perspective on this subject because we can look at it from the outside. Since we don't have kids, we can get the whole picture as we are not immune to certain things because we don't see it everyday.

Sorry....rant over.

P.S. I am not going to let people bully me into their desired response. I know who I am. I am a child free 35 year old, wife, business owner and the loving MOM to 3 beautiful FURBABIES (cats) and I DON'T hate kids.

Thank you

 

[Dee & Greg]

Why do some people who have kids come on here just to ???

Why is it that if one of us says something, it's considered a slur and we are accused of thinking EVERY child is like that when we don't say that at all...

I know (as well as all of you) that NOT every child is misbehaved but that a lot are.

I think that as child free, we have a unique perspective on this subject because we can look at it from the outside. Since we don't have kids, we can get the whole picture as we are not immune to certain things because we don't see it everyday.

Sorry....rant over.

P.S. I am not going to let people bully me into their desired response. I know who I am. I am a child free 35 year old, wife, business owner and the loving MOM to 3 beautiful FURBABIES (cats) and I DON'T hate kids.

Thank you

Thank you.

You know what? I wasn't even going to respond to any of this.. but I was having too much fun watching posters pyschoanalyze every word written.
Did anyone look at my signature (no, not the dogs), but how many trips we've made to WDW? It's our favorite vacation spot. Surprise! It's full of kids... big kids, laughing kids, crying kids, excited kids. I know what I'm signing up for at Disney... kids in all shapes, sizes, and attitudes. And we love it. I have never criticized anything WDW related.
But let me mutter one tinge of concern ON A CHILDFREE THREAD about an upcoming vacation and all H*LL breaks loose.
C'mon folks, this thread is titled "Cheerfully Child Free"... you don't see me hanging out and posting on the Disney for Families Board.
Let's quit while we're ahead... and before this thread gets locked and we have to go play in another sandbox...

 

[TurboKitty]

PhotoBear, I feel that at least part of your last post was directed at me.

I don't think you hate children. I did some some posts on this thread (not made by you) that came across as especially hostile toward children and people who share a view diffrerent from that starting point, to me as I was reading them. Most of the posters here seem reasonable people that I would enjoy having an adult beverage in a childfree setting with.

I did not come here to stir the pot. However, I am just as entitled to share my opinion here as anyone else. I have said nothing against childfree by choice couples and do not hold your choices against you. Your choices are not mine, but certainly NOT worthy of scorn. But if you think I'll not say a word when people make do slurs against children (again IMO), I am afraid you are mistaken.

BTW, I think that you all should maybe reconsider that more often the parents are at fault than the children when the children misbehave or become monsters not suitable to be seen in public.

I do think you should have presented the parents with your bill in the particular scenario you described. That child should not have been outside of the house if he/she acted like that. The restaurant wasn't at fault for your disturbed meal, those parents were. Can you imagine the look on their faces if you could have gotten the manager to do it? Should you find yourself in a similar situation, as a parent, please do it. People like that are making us look bad!

 

[PhotobearSam]

PhotoBear, I feel that at least part of your last post was directed at me.

I don't think you hate children. I did some some posts on this thread (not made by you) that came across as especially hostile toward children and people who share a view diffrerent from that starting point, to me as I was reading them. Most of the posters here seem reasonable people that I would enjoy having an adult beverage in a childfree setting with.

I did not come here to stir the pot. However, I am just as entitled to share my opinion here as anyone else. I have said nothing against childfree by choice couples and do not hold your choices against you. Your choices are not mine, but certainly NOT worthy of scorn. But if you think I'll not say a word when people make do slurs against children (again IMO), I am afraid you are mistaken.

BTW, I think that you all should maybe reconsider that more often the parents are at fault than the children when the children misbehave or become monsters not suitable to be seen in public.

I do think you should have presented the parents with your bill in the particular scenario you described. That child should not have been outside of the house if he/she acted like that. The restaurant wasn't at fault for your disturbed meal, those parents were. Can you imagine the look on their faces if you could have gotten the manager to do it? Should you find yourself in a similar situation, as a parent, please do it. People like that are making us look bad!

I think the point is...We do NOT go on the family board and post on threads about kids and tell you our opinion on your posts...but I guess we are different.

I would never had gone to the table of those people with that unruly child because I would have been labelled a child hater by them.

by the way...You were posting about Dee & Greg and I have never seen them say anything that would even come close to child bashing...


Enough....I take it all back...Me wrong...Nuff...

 

[maddhatir]

.
C'mon folks, this thread is titled "Cheerfully Child Free"... you don't see me hanging out and posting on the Disney for Families Board.
Let's quit while we're ahead... and before this thread gets locked and we have to go play in another sandbox...

Over on the other CF thread we have worried a few times about getting closed b/c there are people on our thread that should not be. I actually threatened to report this one particular person to the mod b/c she just kept it up!

You have to figure- we would not be having this conversation amongst us CF people- it is only b/c there is someone here- with a child...on the CF thread.... that is stirring us up .

I can care less who thinks I can't stand kids.......Sorry- I just don't like them very much. If you have a problem with that- then go back to the family board...

 

[mollygirl13]

Over on the other CF thread we have worried a few times about getting closed b/c there are people on our thread that should not be. I actually threatened to report this one particular person to the mod b/c she just kept it up!

You have to figure- we would not be having this conversation amongst us CF people- it is only b/c there is someone here- with a child...on the CF thread.... that is stirring us up .

I can care less who thinks I can't stand kids.......Sorry- I just don't like them very much. If you have a problem with that- then go back to the family board...

Very well said! I like to come to the Child-free board because there are many others out there like DH & I who do not have children because we simply do not want them. We prefer our furbabies to human babies & are so happy to have 2 wonderful dogs to call our 'kiddies!"!!
I am glad I can come to a place where others won't judge me on our decision to not have children (trust me-I have had many people judge Chris & I on our not-so-popular decision) & that we all can discuss living our lives child-free.
And I totally agree with what Maddhatir stated previously- if there is a problem with CF couples may or may not liking children, please visit the families board where you will have more in common with those posters there.

 

[TurboKitty]

Very well said! I like to come to the Child-free board because there are many others out there like DH & I who do not have children because we simply do not want them. We prefer our furbabies to human babies!!And I agree with what Maddhatir stated previously- if people have a problem with CF couples may or may not liking children, please visit the families board where you will have more in common with those posters there.

I'll take that into consideration. I wish you'd re-reread what I've written in the voice in which it was intended, that of a normal speaking voice.

I have remained respectful of your choices and preferences. I don't have a problem at all with them. Nor do I have a problem with anyone who admits they don't like children. I used to be one of you, though my reasoning was different...I didn't want children because I had very poor role models and didn't think I'd make a good parent. I have since changed my mind on that, obviously. I also saw nothing in thread title that lead me to believe only the childless were welcome in this thread, on the community board.

What I took issue with was what I saw from some of taking the mindset of "us against them", the bashing of others for having differing viewpoints.

I shall remain respectful here. I hope that you can do the same.

 

[goofygirl]

Very well said! I like to come to the Child-free board because there are many others out there like DH & I who do not have children because we simply do not want them. We prefer our furbabies to human babies & are so happy to have 2 wonderful dogs to call our 'kiddies!"!!
I am glad I can come to a place where others won't judge me on our decision to not have children (trust me-I have had many people judge Chris & I on our not-so-popular decision) & that we all can discuss living our lives child-free.
And I totally agree with what Maddhatir stated previously- if there is a problem with CF couples may or may not liking children, please visit the families board where you will have more in common with those posters there.

Amen! We have just as much a right to say, "I don't like kids" just as much as some people say "I don't like cats/dogs."

 

[LoraJ]

It's people like the person in post #31 on this thread who make support threads like this necessary.

I spoil my nephew rotten now in hopes that he'll make sure I am taken care of when I am older.

 

[LisaZee]

Wow! You go to work all day and the thread blows up!

I have a few "I hear ya!"'s to give out. I have no idea how to quote multiple people, so bear with me...

Michelle - I hear ya on the whole "people have kids without the expectation that their lives will change" thing. You mentioned late dinners and movies. Well, many moons ago, JLo had a movie out called "The Cell". Very Silence of the Lambs-ish, scared the ever-lovin' crap out of me. Well, the spouse and I go to the 945pm show, and all of a sudden, I hear this smacking/sucking noise behind me. I turn around, and lo and behold there is a lady there NURSING a toddler. WHA?? Lady, if you have no babysitter, why are you there? Since I barely wanted to see that movie, I am pretty sure your 2 year old didn't want or NEED to see it. The poor kid probably had nightmares for years!

Sam - I do think some people come on here to That's too bad. What I don't understand why some *care* what our opinions are. If you have kids or want kids or like kids unconditionally, then for you! I'm not trying to convince you that you're wrong, or make my "child-hating" comments on your parenting threads. I don't *want* to - I'm secure enough in my beliefs to not have to challenge anyone else's. And for the parents who come here to "see how the other half lives" and are respectful, I think it's great that we can open up a dialogue. Thanks for that opportunity. BTW, a dialogue is a give and take - a request for info and an appropriate response, hopefully followed up by another question. "Don't judge parents or kids", "You're being too harsh", and "You're so negative" - these comments are not a dialogue -they're a scolding. Only my mom can do that to me, and she's way better at it than anyone else.

Kristie - you asked a few pages back about adults-only resorts. The spouse and I went to an 18 and over resort in Riviera Maya, Mexico on our honeymoon - it was called Aventura Palace, owned by Palace Resorts (they do the Moon Palace, Cancun Palace, etc.) It was heaven! The only time I saw anyone under 18 was on the buses for the excursions, and then I think it was only 1 or 2 kids (the busses pick up from multiple resorts along the way.) I would totally check our www.palaceresorts.com if you're interested!

Whew! So who watched the Oscars last night? And why did Rene Zellweger chop off all her hair? And was Ryan Seacrest wearing a BROWN tux? These are the pressing issues we should all be discussing!

 

[maddhatir]

Whew! So who watched the Oscars last night? And why did Rene Zellweger chop off all her hair? And was Ryan Seacrest wearing a BROWN tux? These are the pressing issues we should all be discussing!

I watched part of the Red Carpet show on E! and saw Renee.

All I could think of was, "um, yeah, Renee? They make this stuff called HAIRSPRAY! use some, and stop fussing with the do! You are annoying me!!"