I was there last week, and I think we must have also been on your cruise the three days prior to the Spring Break Melee! We also stayed at AKL (which was have done in the past). It was overwhelming, buses were very slow, parks were packed, lines to order at QS were easily 30-45 minutes, and that was at 1:30pm or later (not "prime lunch" time). We had ADRs, FP+ etc, but it was still more challenging than I expected.
Overall, I left there feeling that Disney greed was getting the better of them. I felt that Disney was not at all upset that everything felt out of control to the average, well-planned guest because this chaos would just drive us all to use the upcharge-services.
Don't like how slow the buses are coming: buy upgraded Express Transportation from Disney (or pay for an Uber, which we did, to make sure we made our 1900 PF ADR on time)
Don't like waiting in line: use FP+ and get prepared to possibly pay for that (look at what they are proposing at DLR for monetizing "MaxxPass" which is essentially FP+ while in the parks)
Don't like only having 3 pre-booked FP+ and VERY limited 4th FP: Pay for a VIP group tour or a VIP personal guide to get FP on many/all the rides (we did a personal VIP guide for our family 2 years ago, and did it again this trip for a day; it is very $$$ and I cringe just thinking about it, but we have very limited time in the parks and I am self-employed so time "off" means I make no money, so I have to minimize time away)
Don't like waiting at QS: Make an ADR and pay Disney prices, but guess what, you still have to wait for your "reservation"...
Don't want to wait in long bag check and security lines: buy upgraded Express Transportation and bypass this
Don't like booking FP+ 30 days in advance: book on-site hotels at 4x or more off-site rates and book FP+ at 60 days
Don't like lining up 1-2 hours prior to fireworks or nighttime entertainment to get a good view: buy upgraded viewing via Dessert Parties, or Dining options (we did the Galactic Nights Dessert party this time and LOVED it, but it's a significant upcharge...)
I really feel that the more crowded and crazy it is, the happier Disney execs are because not only are they raking in money on tickets and hotels, the chaos is driving those same guests to spend even more to "upgrade" their experience to something reasonable, and so Disney makes even more money. I feel Disney charges high rates (though supported by the "market" because they keep selling the tickets to thousands, including us) for tickets and then charges high rates to stay onsite. I think the return on that investment to the individual is diminishing, at least for me. If you want the same Disney experience you used to get (and that was at a lower price), you need to pay today's prices and then even more money to "upgrade" your experience to overcome the hurdles that Disney won't manage. Of course, the only way this gets corrected is if people stop spending their hard-earned money and time off at Disney. Then prices would come down or service levels would increase due to lower crowds, and crowds would go back up again! UGH.
I do not expect walk-on rides, buses waiting at my arrival at the bus stop, or no lines for QS. I do expect Disney to use their vast pool of data (they know exactly how many people have entered each park each day, know where you are using your FP, know where you plan to eat your ADR, when you re-entered your resort room) to make things run more smoothly. If they continue to allow so many people into the parks without expanding offerings such as rides/shows/entertainment, it will get worse. Think about how long it has been since EPCOT got a new ride? It literally has about 4 rides that most people want to ride. I understand that there are many other things to do in EPCOT, but the bottom line is most people come to ride at least some rides. And having essentially 4 main rides for the entire park is ludicrous. No wonder the waits were greater than 200+ minutes at times like Spring Break. Where are you going to put all those people if you only have 4 main rides? Yes they are expanding HS and AK, but the pace is glacial. It won't take some of the burden off the existing rides for years, and if crowds increase with the opening of the new lands, we will be back to square one or worse, for lines and crowds.
We are making our next trip to DLR, and I will see how that goes in comparison. As OP said, it is going to take a while for the buyer's remorse to fade after this trip, for me. I am speaking with my wallet, and I won't pay to have that kind of experience again. Maybe I am a wimp compared to many on these boards who always travel in crowd level 10 and have a stupendous time. It was simply too expensive for the return on investment for me. I don't mind getting stepped on and waiting in tremendous lines when I am at a FREE outdoor concert, for example, because it is FREE. But when I have paid for PH tickets, paid to fly in, paid to stay on-site Deluxe, I have a different expectation of the experience.
On the positive side, our girls did have a great time this trip Pin Trading with CMs. We used some of our time to do this since the rides were nearly impossible, and they enjoyed quite a bit!