Check Out This Husband On Stike!!!!!

[A4Disney]

Yeah, the printed the story in one of the Detroit papers.

Basically, she's making the classic young mom mistake....only her kids count now, and she's cast her husband aside.

I saw this story on GMA this morning.He said she let's their 2 month old and sometimes their toddler in bed with them and he can't/won't put up with it anymore.She said she is sticking to her guns and that they're only little once etc.I think he seems like the jerk...I know of so many people who bring their infants in the bed with them for a few months because it makes nursing easier or whatever,luckily they are married to more mature men...

 

[AnaheimGirl]

Just curious....why do so many people who have posted in this thread think that with two children under 2, she must be exhausted and he doesn't help. I haven't read anything that stated that they did not share the chores.

I know I'm probably jumping to conclusions in my reasoning, but like someone said, he's pulling such a childish stunt, that I guess I expect childishness from him on other counts, as well.

But I base my thoughts on his words, off of his site.

my wife still refuses to take my advice about how to fix these problems.

To me, this sounds like he thinks the wife is responsible for taking care of the kids, and he just gives advice. My husband would never talk that way. When we disagree on parenting, he does it his way, and I do it mine, neither one of us defers to the other, merely giving "advice", rather than actually parenting the kids.

This is what I face on a daily/nightly basis.

next to a photo of a bed with maybe 5 or 6 toys/books/diapers on it. Um, yea, so if you don't like it, move them, it'll take you about 2 seconds. Again, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions, but to me, this implies he's not willing to pick up after the kids. Again, my dh would never in a million years say something like that. If he didn't like the toys scattered around, he'd pick them up, just like I do.

 

[declansdad]

You are the first to make this assumption. Throughout this thread, many posters have mentioned that their DH's help out and do a good job with their kids, so your arguement doesn't hold water.

Just because he is a man and men can't possibly know what they are doing when it comes to raising a child????

This is not my argument, just me trying to determine why earlier posters assumed that he didn't so anything to help out and she must be exhausted.

 

[declansdad]

Quote:
my wife still refuses to take my advice about how to fix these problems.



My take on this is that she feels that her way is the only way and will not listen to his ideas.

 

[mom2riceboys]

Just because he is a man and men can't possibly know what they are doing when it comes to raising a child????

This is not my argument, just me trying to determine why earlier posters assumed that he didn't so anything to help out and she must be exhausted.

I think the reason we assume she must be exhausted is because WE have given birth! Been there, done that -- twice. My husband helped me out a lot, but I was still exhausted. Breastfeeding every 2-3 hours and taking care of a toddler can really take a toll on you.

This lady's husband is doing her no favors by staging this ridiculous strike. The time he is spending picketing, doing media appearances and updating his website, could be used to clean the house, make dinner, take the 2-year-old to the playground, etc. If this guy was my husband, I'd kick him to the curb.

All you moms out there, can I hear an amen?

 

[AnaheimGirl]

Quote:
my wife still refuses to take my advice about how to fix these problems.



My take on this is that she feels that her way is the only way and will not listen to his ideas.

But why can't he just move forward with his ideas? If we were in that situation at home, if dd was coming into our bed and dh minded, he'd just pick her up and take her back to her bed. He wouldn't wait for my permission to do so. Maybe the wife is controlling and won't listen to him, but he can still take charge and do some things his way, rather than head to the roof. Honestly, we don't know the whole story, and they are both likely being unreasonable. What kind of married couple doesn't talk to each other and come up with compromises when they can't agree? They've got some issues to work out (unless it's all just a game, as I'm beginning to believe). They both want all the control, if you ask me.

Oh, and I think most are basing our assumption that the mom is exhausted, not on how much work he does or doesn't do, but simply on the fact that she has a 2 month old baby. Moms are usually much more sleep deprived than dads, simply because they usually have to do all the feedings. I have a cleaning lady, and my dh did a lot when the kids were newborn, but I was still exhausted from getting up multiple times each night, every night. Heck, I'm still tired and our youngest is three.

 

[AnaheimGirl]

I think the reason we assume she must be exhausted is because WE have given birth! Been there, done that -- twice. My husband helped me out a lot, but I was still exhausted. Breastfeeding every 2-3 hours and taking care of a toddler can really take a toll on you.

This lady's husband is doing her no favors by staging this ridiculous strike. The time he is spending picketing, doing media appearances and updating his website, could be used to clean the house, make dinner, take the 2-year-old to the playground, etc. If this guy was my husband, I'd kick him to the curb.

All you moms out there, can I hear an amen?

AMEN!!

 

[DVC Sadie]

Seeming normal and being normal are two different things. Most rational, well-adjusted adults do not camp out on the roof when things don't go their way.

Maybe if he helped out around the house (instead of setting up this web site and sitting on the roof), his wife might be more open to his point of view.

You have a valid point. I truly don't know how normal anyone really is but I've done a pretty good job of trying to figure it out all these years. I've known a lot of rational, well adjusted women who have gone on strike until their husbands and kids started picking up the slack and helping around the house. I say more power to them. Just my point of view.

 

[DVC Sadie]

What I find funny is that the people here on the disboards are so much more upset than the wife of the husband thats on the roof.

 

[poohandwendy]

I think a whole lotta things are being assumed based on our own personal experiences (many due to gender stereotypes) rather than facts about this particular couple and their situation.

I would rather see a man stage a stupid 'strike' campaign to get his wifes attention if he is that frustrated than just live with resenting it and eventually find another woman who wants to share his bed, alone. Cause that is what happens sometimes when you do not make it clear that you really cannot continue living with the current situation. Or when you ignore your spouse when something is really bothering them.

All of the time we see posts from Disers who are fed up and cannot get their spouse to listen to their concerns...spouses who are not taking them seriously. We see wives who say "He just doesn't get it...He just doesn't hear me...he is not taking me seriously" And we OFTEN tell them to 'go on strike' until he 'gets it'...this is not much different. It's just more public.

No, what he is doing is not conventional and isn't the best way to go about change, but I would bet my next pay check that this stunt has caused them to have serious discussions they may not have otherwise had. And you know what, I'll bet it brings some changes in their house.

Bottom line, I hope it works out for them.

 

[corie161]

But why can't he just move forward with his ideas? If we were in that situation at home, if dd was coming into our bed and dh minded, he'd just pick her up and take her back to her bed. He wouldn't wait for my permission to do so. Maybe the wife is controlling and won't listen to him, but he can still take charge and do some things his way, rather than head to the roof. Honestly, we don't know the whole story, and they are both likely being unreasonable. What kind of married couple doesn't talk to each other and come up with compromises when they can't agree? They've got some issues to work out (unless it's all just a game, as I'm beginning to believe). They both want all the control, if you ask me.

Oh, and I think most are basing our assumption that the mom is exhausted, not on how much work he does or doesn't do, but simply on the fact that she has a 2 month old baby. Moms are usually much more sleep deprived than dads, simply because they usually have to do all the feedings. I have a cleaning lady, and my dh did a lot when the kids were newborn, but I was still exhausted from getting up multiple times each night, every night. Heck, I'm still tired and our youngest is three.

I agree, there have been times that my DH doesn't agree with something I've let slide by, like bed time rituals and will tell me that it should be done a certain way. I tell him, more power to him, if he thinks it's that easy than he can do it his way.

If it's a matter of the wife just wanting to sleep with the baby all the time for her the sake of snuggling, then that's one thing, but if the baby is having sleeping issues and this is her way to remedy it it's another and if the husband had a better solution you better bet your butt he better be stepping up to the plate and trying it his way, not just suggesting.

I wonder if the wife's cooking his food when he comes down from the roof on his little tangent? Wouldn't be happening here!

 

[chobie]

I think the reason we assume she must be exhausted is because WE have given birth! Been there, done that -- twice. My husband helped me out a lot, but I was still exhausted. Breastfeeding every 2-3 hours and taking care of a toddler can really take a toll on you.

This lady's husband is doing her no favors by staging this ridiculous strike. The time he is spending picketing, doing media appearances and updating his website, could be used to clean the house, make dinner, take the 2-year-old to the playground, etc. If this guy was my husband, I'd kick him to the curb.

All you moms out there, can I hear an amen?

AMEN!

Let's not forget that a woman spends nine months being pregnant which is physically and emotionally draining, goes through labor and birth, or a major operation to have the baby, has to recover from the birth/operation while breastfeeding a baby every couple of hours and then often has to care for other children as well. it can take months to get our bodies and lives back in sync after having a baby.

How dare this woman be exhausted and not be thinking about her husband's needs first?

 

[Miss Inga Depointe]

or whatever,luckily they are married to more mature men...

I don't think this is a fair statement. The wife in a marriage shouldn't get to decide everything herself about how kids are raised.

It should be a decision made by 2 parents together.

I don't know about this guy in the story. It would be hard to tell who's right or wrong unless we actually could be a fly on the wall in their home for a few days.

 

[jekajekalynn]

I think a whole lotta things are being assumed based on our own personal experiences (many due to gender stereotypes) rather than facts about this particular couple and their situation.

I would rather see a man stage a stupid 'strike' campaign to get his wifes attention if he is that frustrated than just live with resenting it and eventually find another woman who wants to share his bed, alone. Cause that is what happens sometimes when you do not make it clear that you really cannot continue living with the current situation. Or when you ignore your spouse when something is really bothering them.

All of the time we see posts from Disers who are fed up and cannot get their spouse to listen to their concerns...spouses who are not taking them seriously. We see wives who say "He just doesn't get it...He just doesn't hear me...he is not taking me seriously" And we OFTEN tell them to 'go on strike' until he 'gets it'...this is not much different. It's just more public.

No, what he is doing is not conventional and isn't the best way to go about change, but I would bet my next pay check that this stunt has caused them to have serious discussions they may not have otherwise had. And you know what, I'll bet it brings some changes in their house.

Bottom line, I hope it works out for them.

Thank You!!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I don't think this is a fair statement. The wife in a marriage shouldn't get to decide everything herself about how kids are raised.

It should be a decision made by 2 parents together.

I don't know about this guy in the story. It would be hard to tell who's right or wrong unless we actually could be a fly on the wall in their home for a few days.

While this is very, very true it does not apply to newborns. My dh would run the other way.... After the baby was 3 months he would finally relax.

I will say that they are BOTH lousy parents because they can't seem to work things out. Both of them prefer to "play to win" which is sucky parenting.

 

[Maleficent13]

I will say that they are BOTH lousy parents because they can't seem to work things out. Both of them prefer to "play to win" which is sucky parenting.

I think I would agree with this.

 

[AnaheimGirl]

I don't think this is a fair statement. The wife in a marriage shouldn't get to decide everything herself about how kids are raised.

It should be a decision made by 2 parents together.

I don't know about this guy in the story. It would be hard to tell who's right or wrong unless we actually could be a fly on the wall in their home for a few days.

Yes. 2 parents together. Not just the wife, but also not just the husband. Tough situation for them, not as easy to compromise or to just do it differently when with the other parent, as it is in a disagreement over TV time or junk food.

 

[declansdad]

I think a whole lotta things are being assumed based on our own personal experiences (many due to gender stereotypes) rather than facts about this particular couple and their situation.

I would rather see a man stage a stupid 'strike' campaign to get his wifes attention if he is that frustrated than just live with resenting it and eventually find another woman who wants to share his bed, alone. Cause that is what happens sometimes when you do not make it clear that you really cannot continue living with the current situation. Or when you ignore your spouse when something is really bothering them.

All of the time we see posts from Disers who are fed up and cannot get their spouse to listen to their concerns...spouses who are not taking them seriously. We see wives who say "He just doesn't get it...He just doesn't hear me...he is not taking me seriously" And we OFTEN tell them to 'go on strike' until he 'gets it'...this is not much different. It's just more public.

No, what he is doing is not conventional and isn't the best way to go about change, but I would bet my next pay check that this stunt has caused them to have serious discussions they may not have otherwise had. And you know what, I'll bet it brings some changes in their house.

Bottom line, I hope it works out for them.

I totally agree.

My reason for posting was not to defend the husband or the wife. There is no way in the world any man would be able to feel what the mother feels and goes through. That being said, no mother would be able to go through what the father goes through after the birth of a child either. A man cannot create the same type of bond with a child simply because of mother nature. The relationship between a father and a child and a mother and a child will always be different.

Men often have difficulty understanding the change in the husband/wife relationship and why in some cases, they don't seem to get equal billing so to speak in the parenting roles. On the other side of the coin, some women will not understand why men can sometimes feel like the third wheel in the relationship and be left confused as to why they no longer seem as important in the relationship.

To simply state that in this case he should move forward with his ideas is not being realistic. If he continously takes the soother from the older child and the mother gives it back and allows the son to use it, they are going to be back where they started from. Parenting is about working together.