Characters vs. Costumes

[aliciadisfan]

Ok - here's a question for those with multiple children. We took a trip last September with my then five and three year old. We are going back this November with a fresh 7 year old and a 4 year old. Last year, both of my kids were enthralled and into the character experiences. This year, my soon to be 7 year old seems to be 'into' the characters, but he's announced to his 4 year old sister more than once, "it's only a person in a costume." I always shoot him a "shut up" look, but I've not talked to him yet... She's still naive enough not to believe him.

So the question is... do I sit him down and confirm that it may indeed be people in costumes but that we don't have to tell his sister that right now... or do I sit on this and see how it goes once there?

How did you all handle this when some children 'know' and some don't?

 

[sproutmd]

This has happened to me, and I talked to my 7 year old about allowing our 3 year old to enjoy the characters in the way a 3 year old wants/can. He seemed fine with the conversation, and almost happy that he had insider info. as an older child. Hope this helps!

 

[Nancyg56]

WE took the two little girls on ur street in August. One was 7 and the other 5. The 7 YO repeatedly asked before we left for the trip if the characters were real or fake, and I just told her that when I am in DIsney, they are all real to me. That once we arrived, she woulf need to decide for herself, but until then, I asked her to make sure that she never let her opinion ruin her sisters fun.

I really figures d that once we got there, even if she did not spoil her sisters fun, she woudl not believe, but Holy Pleasant Surprise! Sh enot only held her opinion back, she was the one who absolutely loved every character interaction. Not one got by without an extra hug, a huge smile and a whole lot of chatter.

I woudl just tell the 7 YO that it is really important to make those decisions for themselves but that it is never okay to spoil someone elses fun.

 

[Thing 1]

Please talk to him before the trip. My DN, who was a really annoying kid that trip, kept telling the characters that they were just stupid people in stuffed animal costumes. He ended up having to go back to the resort for his behavior, but I was sad for the kids that heard him. My boys never believed the characters were real. We never told them there were or were not, they just sorta knew on their own. Chances are your little one has doubts already, especially after her brother's input, but if you want her to believe, I would for sure talk to your 7 year old about this.

 

[msmama]

I have no advice for the sibling aspect, but my son told me probably around 4 ish that he knew that they were just people in costumes. That, however, has never stopped him from having fun meeting the characters!! Yes, Mickey is a guy in a costume (or girl actually) but as far as he's concerned, that is still THE Mickey Mouse that everyone travels to WDW to meet!!

Now face characters on the other hand, terrify him.

 

[Baklava]

He knows. There's no benefit to not "confirming." There's a *huge* benefit to not ruining things for your younger child and everyone else's. 7 is by nature a sort of jerky age. The desire to show off how much more you know than "babies" is age-appropriate but still needs to be curbed by a parent. Save everyone the unpleasantness of having to do it AT WDW by bringing him in on "the secret" and letting him be one of the big people who keep it special for the "babies" rather than someone who needs to assert his superiority out loud. Redirecting him in advance is your best bet.

 

[magicmomms]

My 4 year old knows the characters are not real and are in costumes and it hasn't hindered her enjoyment at all! It's one big day of pretend and imagination- she loves it!

 

[JustCallMeMommy]

In that case, I would explain to the 7 year old that he needed to help keep the secret. We would talk about it being fun to pretend, especially when our little sister believes.

That is not the same tact I would take if the 4 year old was asking questions, for the record. In that case, I would ask the child why they think that and follow the child's lead. If they want to believe, they will rationalize it, but we (or an old sibling) need to give them the space to do their own rationalization. DD figured out that Dora was a person in a costume at age 3 - Dora should be a little kid like her, so it made no sense that the giant costumed character was actually Dora. Based on this experience, she never thought the characters at Disney were real. But that didn't mean it wasn't fun to pretend! She didn't figure out the big secrets until many years later.

In your case, one child is ready while the other is not, so I would ask the older child to play along.

 

[kamik86]

I would tell the 7 year old and then tell them that its part of being a big kid that you help keep the secret from the little ones.

This is why my siblings didn't tell me as the youngest kid (They made a few little recoverable slips... like the time my older sister asked my mom how many Easter eggs were hidden... then when I asked how mom would know quickly explained that the Easter Bunny doesn't want you to not find some of them so they tell the parents how many there are).

Then when I was 7 and 8 my older nieces were born and this is why I didn't tell them.


Also this would be a good time to talk to your 7 year old about how fun it can be to pretend they are real even though you know they aren't. I sure knew by 22 when I first went but still have met many characters.

 

[scrapquitler]

I would tell my 7 year old that now he gets to be in on the secret, and then tell him that he has to play along with it for the 4 year old's sake.

We did the same thing with Santa...we never played Santa in our house, and we explained to our daughter that she had to keep the secret for those kids who did believe. She understood that even at 4.

 

[ruthies12]

my 6 year old has asked that question and I very pointedly told her that a Disney vacation is expensive and if the characters aren't "real" then I'm not spending the money to go there. she hasn't said a word since! We all "believe" they are real when we are there, even DH and I.

 

[aliciadisfan]

You all are great! thanks so much for the input! We're going to sit him down and let him in on the 'fun' of being in the know