Cemetery responsibility?? **update at top**

[kacaju]

Ok I found grandma yesterday!! Turns out a big wad of crabgrass grew right over her marker. The marker that was gone on Saturday was replaced with a new marker and grandma was directly below that marker, so I had the location right, just the wrong row.
It took me 40 minutes to find grandma yesterday. We have not really had much rain this summer, I really cannot believe how much that crabgrass had grown over it so much that I could not find it for 40 minutes. As I had mentioned, we were last there in June and we had no problems finding it then.





Over the weekend we went to the cemetery where my husbands grandmother is buried. The grave marker is gone, you can see where it was...there is dirt and you can see cement (where I assume the urn is buried)

My daughter and I were last there in June, I took pictures of it, so I can prove it was there. (I take pictures of all my relatives grave markers, headstones)

Anyway, I called the office over the weekend and left a message. Did not hear back so I called today.
The woman who answered was not helpful at all and said she would have a supervisor get back to me, but it is not their responsibility.

Of course no one got back to me today. I work until 2 and thy close at 1.
At least I am off the next two days, so I may need to head back there and speak tot hem in person.
I just cannot believe a cemetery would not be responsible for a marker that got stolen??

I am assuming they will not cover the cost of a new marker, which could be why she is saying they are not responsible...but she didn't seem to even care that it is gone...
That is what I am upset about... who would steal something like that??

Anyway...What do you think??

and BTW..we are talking about a marker thatw as flat to the ground, she has been gone almost 20 years now. It was sunk in the ground..no way of it getting damaged by being run over or anything like that.

 

[golfgal]

You probably have coverage under your homeowners insurance or someone in the family does for theft of a headstone. Call your agent and have him/her investigate for you.

Also, on the off chance, would any other family member have taken it in for cleaning or anything??

 

[LuvOrlando]

I would ask for the name of their insurance company and tell them you intend to file a claim. If they are operating a public facility like that they must be insured against liability. They SHOULD do the right thing and have it replaced themselves but if not insurance should cover it. I would not take their word for it though, insist on the name of the insurer of Insurance Broker and push on from there. It's just not right that they didn't contact you themselves when the grave marker disappeared.

 

[JessicaR]

I say they absolutely are responsible. I would go over that persons head and press for answers. Sorry this happened.

 

[Geoff_M]

I just cannot believe a cemetery would not be responsible for a marker that got stolen??

I'm guessing that you in fact will find that they are not responsible for the replacement of complete stolen headstones. Cemetery associations are mainly responsible for the up-keep of the grounds and maintenance of "common" assets like fountains, fencing, drives, opening graves, etc.

As far as not contacting you, I don't think that most cemeteries keep "next-of-kin" contact lists for those buried there. And even if they did, when was the last time you called a cemetery to give them your new address or phone number?

 

[kacaju]

You probably have coverage under your homeowners insurance or someone in the family does for theft of a headstone. Call your agent and have him/her investigate for you.

Also, on the off chance, would any other family member have taken it in for cleaning or anything??

Not a chance someone would have taken it to be cleaned. It was flat in the ground, and as we found out, it needed to be dug out...it is not something that would have needed cleaning.

Since it is My MIL's Mother...and she is the one who lives the closest... I guess if we did have to file a claim it would be through her insurance.

 

[luvmy3]

I'm guessing that if you looked up the original contract with the cemetary you would find that they are not responsible for damage unless it was done by them when maintaing the property. My great-grandmother's headstone was vandalized and my grandmother was responsible for it, sorry this happened

 

[agnes!]

Was the marker copper? It could have been stolen for scrap and sold... (And I'd report the theft to the local police, regardless of the cash value of what was stolen there's probably some kind of local statute about grave desecration.)

agnes!

 

[kacaju]

I'm guessing that you in fact find that they are not responsible for the replacement of complete stolen headstones. Cemetery associations are mainly responsible for the up-keep of the grounds and maintenance of "common" assets like fountains, fencing, drives, opening graves, etc.

As far as not contacting you, I don't think that most cemeteries keep "next-of-kin" contact lists for those buried there. And even if they did, when was the last time you called a cemetery to give them your new address or phone number?

I do understand the fact they will most likey not replace it. I really don't care about that, our family will replace it. it was more in the manner of this woman, wouldn't you be alarmed if someone just told you something was stolen off your property? The fact that she was so... oh well... we are not responsible and sounded like she could care less is what got to me.

They do keep the grounds nice, while I do not expect them to contact us... shouldn't they be aware that something is wrong and at least care if someone calls and says their family member marker is gone?

 

[cirquelovers]

We were told it was not the cemetary's responsibility unless they damaged the headstone. I doubt they would admit if they did though.

Our cemetary just had a rash of robberies. They were stealing urns and had broke into the Columbarium! I spent almost a week trying to track down info on whether or not my MIL was stolen Thank goodness she wasn't touched.

The police told me that they thought people were stealing them because loved ones are buried with personal items, like rings and things! He also said people sell the urns on ebay and craigslist.

What is the world coming to!

 

[Geoff_M]

They do keep the grounds nice, while I do not expect them to contact us... shouldn't they be aware that something is wrong and at least care if someone calls and says their family member marker is gone?

It does sound like the woman on the phone could have been a little nicer about the issue, but perhaps she got the impression that you were expecting them to replace it and decided to squelch that idea. I also agree that they should have returned your call.

I think the reason that they likely didn't notify you in the first place was because they likely don't have the information needed to call someone based on a name on the grave site. Many of the deceased purchase the grave sites themselves, so the sales records wouldn't likely mention sons, daughters, etc. And after the site is occupied there isn't much reason for a cemetery to keep a contact list. I suppose that if you live in a small town, the workers might be able to call "the family" based on personal knowledge, but beyond that I think it's asking a lot.

I understand that you're right to be upset about what happened... Genealogy is a hobby of mine, and nothing is worse then looking for an old headstone of a relative in a cemetery and wondering "Is that so-and-so's grave?" when you see a missing, unreadable, or broken headstone.

 

[buckler]

Interesting article on the subject of cemetery theft. Yes, it might be possible that the marker could be replaced by home owner's insurance. I'd replace the marker with stone, not metal.
Metal Thieves Stalk Cemeteries

 

[Geoff_M]

Interesting article on the subject of cemetery theft. Yes, it might be possible that the marker could be replaced by home owner's insurance. I'd replace the marker with stone, not metal.
Metal Thieves Stalk Cemeteries

However, I'd think that such insurance would only work when one of the owners of the plot is still alive... like a spouse or child. Otherwise, it's not your "property" that was stolen, but a relative's.

 

[buckler]

However, I'd think that such insurance would only work when one of the owners of the plot is still alive... like a spouse or child. Otherwise, it's not your "property" that was stolen, but a relative's.

I wondered about that too. But perhaps her MIL's mother is buried in a family plot. And maybe the MIL paid for the marker.

 

[happily single]

I would call the police and report the theft of the marker. I'm sure the police will get a return phone call from crazy lady in the office

 

[scrapquitler]

The woman who answered was not helpful at all and said she would have a supervisor get back to me, but it is not their responsibility.

I would not assume that it is their responsibility.

A shopping center is not responsible if your car gets stolen, to me, this seems like the same kind of situation.

Check with your homeowners insurance to see if this is covered on your homeowners policy somehow (though I doubt it).


Are you absolutely positively sure that somehow it isn't buried further down under the dirt that you think? If a nearby grave was dug up, maybe it got covered in dirt somehow and now its just buried or something?

 

[MaumeeMom]

We were told it was not the cemetary's responsibility unless they damaged the headstone. I doubt they would admit if they did though.

Our cemetary just had a rash of robberies. They were stealing urns and had broke into the Columbarium! I spent almost a week trying to track down info on whether or not my MIL was stolen Thank goodness she wasn't touched.

The police told me that they thought people were stealing them because loved ones are buried with personal items, like rings and things! He also said people sell the urns on ebay and craigslist.

What is the world coming to!

Grave robbing is nothing new, unfortunately. As far back as ancient Egypt, robbers tunneled into tombs to remove jewelry and items buried with the dead. That is why King Tut's tomb was such an important find, it had not been robbed so it was largely in tact.

It's not just theft, unfortunately, kids are destroying grave markers for sport around here. It is so disheartening to hear about it on the news.

Good luck, OP.

 

[kacaju]

I would not assume that it is their responsibility.

A shopping center is not responsible if your car gets stolen, to me, this seems like the same kind of situation.

Check with your homeowners insurance to see if this is covered on your homeowners policy somehow (though I doubt it).


Are you absolutely positively sure that somehow it isn't buried further down under the dirt that you think? If a nearby grave was dug up, maybe it got covered in dirt somehow and now its just buried or something?

Absolutely positive it is not buried further down. When i saw the grave in June, there was grass along the edge and the marker was clear as day. Saturday, there was dirt and a bigger area dug up where the marker was and all you can see is a dirty cement block.

I am going back there tomorrow.

I truly do not expect the cemetery to pay for a new marker, I understand that is not their responsibility. I am more upset...now that I have had the day to think about it...about the woman's attitude. Dh's Grandmother died almost 20 years ago. We were actually on our honeymoon when she passed.

To think that after 20 years someone coming by and taking her marker (it was a very small marker too, I doubt it was even worth anything) is upsetting.

Just to be told...coldly...it is not their responsibility...was heartless.

I have had issues with my grandparents headstone (different Cemetery) where it had been leaning and then had fallen over (ground shifted) and those people at that Cemetery were very nice about the whole thing.

I will also add that today is my Dad's Birthday.. He would have been 70 today..he passed away 6 years ago. So I think I am being a little emotional over this.
Thank Goodness my Dad is at the same Cemetery as my Grandparents....at least I feel they care about those they have buried there!!

 

[Planogirl]

Stones are stolen or vandalized constantly. Unfortunately, people do collect the markers.

I don't think that a cemetery association is responsible. I'm sorry that they weren't nicer about it.

 

[jenrose66]

I would think the cemetery would be responsible. My grandmother had a stillborn child. She doesn't talk about him much but did mention to me around his birthday this past May that he would have been 55 and for the last couple years she can't find his gravestone. I went to the cemetery and couldn't find it...so I went to the office and asked if they could help me. They said they'd put in a work order and I'd see the marker in about 3 days. They then called me the next day and said they excavated it. It didn't cost anything. I took my grandma...they excavated the stone completely (it was a flat marker) and also dug out about 2 inches on each side and filled it with gravel to inhibit weed growth. I thought that was a wonderful thing and it made my grandma so happy.