Blondie
~*~*~*~<br><font color=blue>This TF always enjoys
- Joined
- Aug 18, 1999
- Messages
- 17,306
The Merry Widow: It's been said before but bears repeating: Nothing says class like an ink-stained ankle and ruby-and-diamond necklace that proclaims, "TrimSpa, Baby!" At the AMAs, an almost coherent Anna Nicole Smith styles yet another slinky gown from the ersatz Marilyn Monroe meets flamenco dancer collection, and apparently finds her slimmed down shape so darned irresistible that even she can't help copping a feel. As usual, the rapidly spiraling, octogenarian-loving reality star sports sloppy peroxide locks, blinding white teeth, and half-lidded eyes, which, unfortunately, are not a sexy affectation. In the words of Dean Wormer from "Animal House," "fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life." Anna, you've admirably licked the first problem -- it might be time to tackle the other two.
That Was Gwen ... This Is Now: If Willy Wonka had a wife, she might look a little something like Gwen Stefani at the American Music Awards -- i.e., top-hatted and surrounded by teensy-weensy whimsical creatures. Like any good pop chameleon (see Madonna), the now solo No Doubt frontwoman liberally borrows from cultural touchstones to create a persona that's an unholy alliance of kiddie lit ("Alice in Wonderland" and "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory"), Japanese culture (the doll-like Harajuku Girls, her seemingly indentured entourage), not-so-innocent school girls (open-toe white tights, bows, ribbons, and ruffles), and drag queens (her vertiginous RuPaul-esque lace-up platforms). Gwen, we get it. You're hip and edgy. Now give Abe Lincoln his hat back and set your pint-sized posse free.
Not So Peachy Ricci: This sunken, shrunken creature you see before you is the once beautiful and bodacious Christina Ricci, whose stick-thin neck now seems ill equipped to handle the weight of her noggin. The actress makes the scene at a Louis Vuitton event (she currently appears in the company's ads) in one of the designer's creations, a form-fitting but lady-like cream and blush-pink dress with keyhole cutout that only emphasizes her dire need for a balanced meal, with maybe a couple of grilled cheese sandwiches thrown in for dessert.
Under Pressure: Here's a piece of advice that will serve you well in life: If someone tries to talk you into wearing crimped, Rapunzel-like, Ronald McDonald-colored extensions, punch first, ask questions later. At the Vibe Awards, Tyra Banks continues her transformation into an alien leader with a hairstyle so puffy she could fit several of America's next top models under it. Another suggestion for the hypermammiferous mannequin: Just because you have a body that can handle being wrapped in gold-toned sausage casing, it doesn't mean you should. Our guess is more than one worried bystander, upon seeing Tyra's stressed-out bodice, took cover, plugged their ears, and waited for the inevitable explosion.
Smock-Down: We've cut Kirsten Dunst a lot of slack over her sometimes kooky ensembles because, unlike most starlets her age, she doesn't take a cookie-cutter approach to red carpet couture. But with this shapeless Chloe smock (which, by the by, looked loose and lovely on the runway), the actress has stepped one Christian LaBoutin-clad toe over the line. Kirsten, a black turtleneck and black tights are fine if you're going to an avant-garde poetry reading in the Village (in the '50s), but under a delicate, crystal-studded dress, they are sartorial suicide.
You Can Leave Your Hat Off: Heather Locklear hits the red carpet at the AMAs in a get-up that proves she really loves the '80s. From the waist up, the preternaturally preserved star pays homage to both Kim Basinger's striptease in "9 ½ Weeks" and Paula Abdul's heyday as MC Scat Cat's duet partner as she dons a wide-brimmed black hat and tuxedo jacket. From the thighs down, Heather is all about "Flashdance" in what appear to be floral legwarmers but are in actuality the most expensive and dainty designer waders ever made.
You're right....what were they thinking? I love the comments under each photo. Too funny.
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She looks so much younger now, and like a totally different person.
