Christine
DIS Legend
- Joined
- Aug 31, 1999
- Messages
- 32,603
Now I have to handle this situation with my neighbor...
We just got internet cable about 2 weeks ago. I've been struggling to get all the firewalls, security, etc. up. Most of it is done. The only thing I had not done was the parental controls, but that hasn't ever been a big deal in the past. Never thought about it. Kids did AOL dial-up, I saw everything they did--they had never tried anything.
So yesterday, DS (9) goes next door to play with the neighbor's boy (10). They don't play together much, but occasionally they do. When they do, it lasts for about one hour because the boy next door is either physically aggressive with my son (but no one ever sees it) or he just does something so irritating my son cannot stand it and he leaves. The boy's mother is a wonderful woman and his sister is great too. In fact, the mother provided before/after care for my son last year as well as summer care. My DS now goes to another school so the day care relationship is over. Now we are just "next door neighbors." The husband--I don't like--BIG talker, wheeler/dealer, Mr. Slick, if you get my drift. Junior seems to be just like him.
Back to story. My son comes home. Later in the evening he asks if he can get on the computer and go on nick.com. He does so. While he's on the computer I take a 30 minute phone call with my mom. After it's over, I'm heading to the computer and telling my son "Hey, it's time to get off now, I need to check my e-mail." I go in there and he's trying to shut the whole thing down. I said "hey, why are you doing this, you just need to log of your name." Now XP is new to us so I didn't think this was strange. He gets up from the chair and watches me try to stop what he is doing. I do so and notice that he has something running and it is minimized. I maximize and
!!! You would not believe what I saw. He immediately starts crying. He then tries to tell me it's a pop-up. I go to his history and I see that he has put in 5 different porn websites. I sent him out of the room and looked at each one. My gosh, they were so graphic. So, we have a talk and he tells me that while he was next door earlier, the boy took him to their computer and showed him all the sites and told him that he could do this at home on his computer and showed him how. DS felt compelled to come home and do this. I'm pretty sure that this is the first time he's ever done something like this. He has only started using the computer alone in the last 2 weeks because he has been afraid of being alone in the basement. Also, on AOL we could not access the kind of stuff HE got into.
I'm just crushed that my son's first exposure to sexuality at to be sooooooo bad. I mean, I'm certainly no prude, but this was as bad as it gets. I've also had it with the neighbor's kid as this is about the bazillionth BAD influence he's had on my son. I know that all kids get up to no good and mine is no angel but the kind of stuff he says to my son--well it's usually the first place my son hears of these things.
My DH wants me to discuss this with his parents and let them know what happened. I'm kind of worried about doing that. Maybe they think their son "does no wrong" and will get offended that I might be accusing their son of something. I have to live next door to these people for a LONG time. On the other hand, they probably should know what their child is viewing?
I just don't know what to do. How would you guys handle it with the neighbors.
Oh, and the parental controls have definitely been configured!
We just got internet cable about 2 weeks ago. I've been struggling to get all the firewalls, security, etc. up. Most of it is done. The only thing I had not done was the parental controls, but that hasn't ever been a big deal in the past. Never thought about it. Kids did AOL dial-up, I saw everything they did--they had never tried anything.
So yesterday, DS (9) goes next door to play with the neighbor's boy (10). They don't play together much, but occasionally they do. When they do, it lasts for about one hour because the boy next door is either physically aggressive with my son (but no one ever sees it) or he just does something so irritating my son cannot stand it and he leaves. The boy's mother is a wonderful woman and his sister is great too. In fact, the mother provided before/after care for my son last year as well as summer care. My DS now goes to another school so the day care relationship is over. Now we are just "next door neighbors." The husband--I don't like--BIG talker, wheeler/dealer, Mr. Slick, if you get my drift. Junior seems to be just like him.
Back to story. My son comes home. Later in the evening he asks if he can get on the computer and go on nick.com. He does so. While he's on the computer I take a 30 minute phone call with my mom. After it's over, I'm heading to the computer and telling my son "Hey, it's time to get off now, I need to check my e-mail." I go in there and he's trying to shut the whole thing down. I said "hey, why are you doing this, you just need to log of your name." Now XP is new to us so I didn't think this was strange. He gets up from the chair and watches me try to stop what he is doing. I do so and notice that he has something running and it is minimized. I maximize and
!!! You would not believe what I saw. He immediately starts crying. He then tries to tell me it's a pop-up. I go to his history and I see that he has put in 5 different porn websites. I sent him out of the room and looked at each one. My gosh, they were so graphic. So, we have a talk and he tells me that while he was next door earlier, the boy took him to their computer and showed him all the sites and told him that he could do this at home on his computer and showed him how. DS felt compelled to come home and do this. I'm pretty sure that this is the first time he's ever done something like this. He has only started using the computer alone in the last 2 weeks because he has been afraid of being alone in the basement. Also, on AOL we could not access the kind of stuff HE got into. I'm just crushed that my son's first exposure to sexuality at to be sooooooo bad. I mean, I'm certainly no prude, but this was as bad as it gets. I've also had it with the neighbor's kid as this is about the bazillionth BAD influence he's had on my son. I know that all kids get up to no good and mine is no angel but the kind of stuff he says to my son--well it's usually the first place my son hears of these things.
My DH wants me to discuss this with his parents and let them know what happened. I'm kind of worried about doing that. Maybe they think their son "does no wrong" and will get offended that I might be accusing their son of something. I have to live next door to these people for a LONG time. On the other hand, they probably should know what their child is viewing?
I just don't know what to do. How would you guys handle it with the neighbors.
Oh, and the parental controls have definitely been configured!
Sounds like your DS is a great kid and was just curious, as kids are. 
). My son *tried* to place the blame on the boy next door--that he "makes" him do things. I know that he does at time; however, I told my son that when he came back to his own house HE made the choice to log on ALONE. I told my son that is where he went wrong in a big way. I told him that I realize that if the boy just pulls this stuff up in his home and my son happens to be there, that is one thing (he should leave), but he came home and did it on his own.
