Step One: Talk to your cat. Explain how it makes you feel when she bats at your favorite ornaments, chews the needles and then hacks up bile and needle clusters, or climbs the tree and lets out the low growl that says, "I'm staying in here and if you reach through these branches, I'll slice you open like a sharp knife through sushi. She'll not pay you one lick of attention, but you'll always be able to say that you were reasonable.
Step Two: Reward your cat for NOT getting "all up in the tree's business." Give her treats, rub her belly, or scratch behind her ears. Tell her she's a good kitty. She won't give a rat's *** because she's a cat and generally she'll do as she pleases whether it pleases you or not, but at least you'll be able to say you tried positive reinforcement. When that doesn't work....
Step Three: If she remains persistent in efforts to mess with your tree, tie a bell around her neck on a piece of velvet ribbon. Sometimes, bells annoy the crap out of cats. She'll literally drive herself bonkers trying to keep the bell from ringing, which means she'll stay still, which means she won't be bothering the tree. She may also drop significant fur, get a glazed look in her eye, and generally act as if she has a migraine, but this will all pass when the tree comes down at the end of the season. Do prepare for "punishment" which include your cat crapping anywhere she damn well pleases just so you'll have to pick it up - and move furniture if necessary to locate the cat turds, but after all, you do own a cat....If she likes the bell, well, then, move on to....
Step Four: Buy an air-horn. Every time you see the cat get within paws distance of the tree, blow the air horn and send her running for the hills. Sometimes, this will cause the cat to actually jump into the tree to seek shelter. Blow the air horn again to extricate the cat. That may not work, and if you blow out her ear drums, you'll need to move on to....
Step Five: Some people use squirt guns because many cats simply do not like water. But when it comes to Christmas trees, a squirt gun is going to be ineffective. A Super Soaker - on the other hand - is quite effective AND you moisten the tree all at the same time. Give her a good steady stream, right in the face, and she'll start to understand that you don't want her in the tree.
Step Six: A determined cat will still investigate the tree once she learns that you can't be there all the time to drow.... I mean squirt her with water. And this is where you have to start getting serious. Taser guns can be had very inexpensively at most military surplus stores. You do not want the kind that require you to manually hold the taser to the cat. You want the kind that shoots charged barbs at the cat to really send the message that "No KITTY" really means "NO."
Step Seven: If you're not a particularly good shot with a taser, you're going to have to up the ante a bit to really make sure kitty learns that the tree is not a toy. Sometimes, if you'll heat up a fire poker pretty good (get it nice and orange) you can first attempt to threaten (hold poker near cat and threaten in a stern voice). When that doesn't work, you may, in fact, need to lightly touch kitty on the rear end. This should cause a smoking cat to shoot out of the room and perhaps begin to associate being near the tree with some unpleasantness.
Step Eight: Hang a few M80 firecrackers at the base of the tree. When you see kitty begin to bat at a few, light several, and step away for your personal safety. Kitty will start to bat them again, and with time, an explosion will occur that should send kitty heading for the hills - or at least the big fluffy pillows on your bed. This method can cause damage to your tree or home, so use with caution.
Step Nine: A motion triggered spring gun can be very effective at controlling unwanted visitors in the vicinity of your tree. All the components you will need can be found at your local hardware store/pawn shop. Do warn your children after setting the spring gun.
There's more, but get started with these and let me know if you need any additional assistance.
& bought only wooden & fabric stuffed ornaments. Didn't even attempt a tree when we got our two bengals.
