Career/general life advice from my DIS friends please!

[arieliwish]

Hi guys,

I'm at a bit of a crossroads in my life, and not sure if I'm looking for advice or just wanting to sound some stuff off you all. Here goes.

3 and half years ago my DH suffered a major stroke at age 49, he had been a piping supervisor working away from home and I was at home not working and looking after DD then 8 and DS then 5. Anyway we've pulled through the last few years and DH has made a decent recovery, he can't do much physical activity due to weekness in his right side from the stroke and irregular heartbeat makes him short of breath and fatigued. His main problem is his speech and understanding, difficult at times. I've worked for the last 2 years 3 or 4 days a week at a coach firm in our village, 2 minutes walk from home and 2 houses away from the kids school, and I love it. We've managed quite well on the money side of things with my pay, tax credits and DH benefits.

However he has just had his 2-yearly assessment and they have drastically dropped his Disability Living Allowance money by £200+ a month, a lot when you don't have that much coming in. We'll still manage but there won't be any spare cash at all, what comes in will go out on bills, etc. It turns out he can walk about 100 yards before discomfort (50 yards to claim DLA high mobility component) and can do a few things like dress himself so no medium DLA care component. He cannot read and understand, work the cooker or take messages on the phone. It seems he falls somewhere between not being able to work and claim DLA. And because he worked all his life and put some money away (we always said for the kids uni stuff) we cannot claim other things.

So I need to earn more money, but how?? I've recently done work's website and have been interested in web design for many years, I understand most HTML and am learning about style sheets and other things needed for professional web design. I am 37 but I don't know if I have the confidence to do it professionally. I'd want to keep my job and do this in my spare time. I'm not sure whether to continue to teach myself or spend time and money on a course, not even sure what course I'd do.

So I think I'm just looking for your thoughts, any help at the moment would be great, I find it hard to talk to DH about this as he gets upset at the financial side of things, think its coz he can't do anything about it now.

Sorry its so long, but thanks for reading,

Lynn

 

[mikki.young]

I can't help on the work front but I do think you should go to a Citizens Advice bureau and get help on appealing the change in DLA. My husband, who is registered blind, was initially turned down for anything. When we moved area the local social service were horrified and suggested he apply again with help from CAB. They were excellent andwilling to help with application and appeal (altho we decided not to appeal the lower level granted). i think you should be appealing and they are just the people to help you.

 

[signtalker]

I firstly would appeal the DLA, Ive filled in loads of these forms over the years not only for my DH but also DS and many others who have had claims turned down.
if you need help please PM me.


In terms of a job change, I did it, last year. Id always worked in education, and wanted a change, it took over a year but im now in the police force and im 39!!!, so if you want to do something then go for it!!!

Jules

 

[carolfoy]

mikki has given excellent advice, I'm not sure how these type of benefits work so my suggestion would be to seek out small local businesses and offer to do a bit of website design, explain upfront that you're not fully qualified at it and I bet you'll get some takers from businesses with owners who feel a bit overwhelmed by the whole tinternet thing, give a few basic lessons and I bet you could make some money when people realise you're not going to blind them with jargon.
I hope you sort things soon.

 

[natalielongstaff]

i can't offer any specific advice Lynn just wanted to give you a hug

 

[arieliwish]

I can't help on the work front but I do think you should go to a Citizens Advice bureau and get help on appealing the change in DLA. My husband, who is registered blind, was initially turned down for anything. When we moved area the local social service were horrified and suggested he apply again with help from CAB. They were excellent andwilling to help with application and appeal (altho we decided not to appeal the lower level granted). i think you should be appealing and they are just the people to help you.

Thanks guys. We went to a lovely woman at our local CAB and she's appealled for us, but DH doctors report states 'able to walk about 100 yards...and able to manage some self care...' so she doesn't see any way around the decision. He still gets low rate mobility DLA and low rate care DLA which equates to £34 per week, plus he gets £78 incapacity per week. That's it, 33 years of paying into the system and that's what he gets. We do get tax credits, but still have to pay full council tax of £186 per month and all our other bills. No wonder he gets depressed about it all.

Thanks for listening though, I just need the confidence to start the web thing, as they say the first step is always the hardest.

Cheers

Lynn

 

[fizz13]

Hi Lynn,
i wanted to send you big and hope that you are sucessful in your web design, i think it is an excellent skill to have and they are crying out for qualified people in this field, i wish you all the luck in the world, and hope that you all come through this ok,

 

[dlpSteve]

On the work side of things - having been involved in the web design business for many years I'd say that the proof is in the pudding, so to speak. A portfolio of working websites you've designed goes much further than any course which says you can design a website, in theory.

I am in the process of recruiting a web administrator for the company I work for and knowledge of HTML and graphic design is one of the main prerequisites. I won't be looking for qualifications in these but examples of their work. I will also be testing any candidates that get through to the second stage of the recruitment process.

I'd suggest putting together an online portfolio of your work - do some websites for family and even offer to do a website for a small local company for free in exchange for them agreeing you using it as a working commercial example of your work - if they pay you then even better!

I wish you luck in the future and your post makes me even more bewildered at the way our benefits system works and the distribution of funds.

 

[alisonbestford]

Oh, Lynn, how rubbish for you all

I can't even begin to write a reply without drawing on our own, personal, experiences and that's hardly helpful at all as every circumstance is unique

I left work (as an oncology nurse) almost 7 years ago now, and went to work as a volunteer at our local CAB, as I was so fed up of people not receiving the benefits they were more than, entitled to!

Long story short, by sharing my medical knowledge, and that of the CAB we managed to acheive so much, for so many people who were, unnecessarily, struggling against the 'system'!?

Good luck with everything and I hope the CAB turns up trumps (I have to say that, if I found a person's circumstances were medically deserving, I would exaggerate the truth a little in order to allow them to get their benefit..... )

 

[jen_uk]

I can't really offer any advice so just want to give you a hug

 

[arieliwish]

Thanks again guys,

I know in the grand scheme of things there are people with far worse things going on, and as long as we're ok then we should be thankful. My post and your replies helped put things into context a bit, strange how talking to people I've never met about trivial and serious things, really does make a difference.

Thanks all, will keep you posted on the web front, maybe you can be my testers if I ever get round to doing it....

and pixie dust to you all,

Lynn

 

[shellbell]

I'm really sorry your going though a hard time, i hope things start to get better for you soon. Have you applied to your council for help with your council tax? When DH had his car crash and was out of work we were told that we could be entitled to a grant towards the council tax.

 

[Minniespal]

Can't offer any advice Lynn ~ Just wanted to give you a big

 

[KayleeUK]

Wishing you all the best Lynn!!!

 

[mandymouse]

I really wish I had some advice for you, good luck with everything