After drinking one too many beers, John allowed his buddies to play soccer with him. Unfortunately, John had no body and was kicked into the ocean during some rough play and drowned.
Dear Mom and Dad; sorry that I haven't written more, but I've been up to my neck in schoolwork. My roommate Ken makes sure that I get enough liquids or I would probably be too weak to write. These past nine years of college have really expanded my mind. In fact, I think I need a new hat to fit my enlarged head. Please send money. Johnny
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