Can't sleep...had my 4th treatment today

[Taximom]

I am NEVER up at 230AM! Yet, here I sit. I had my 4th treatment of rituxan today for Non Hodgkins lymphoma. I see my oncologist in March, and I am praying for remission. I don't know if I'm not sleeping because of the rituxan or the steroid I had before the rx. It could be that I slept a couple hours from the benadryl during my rx.
A question for those who have been in remission or are a cancer survivor. I will now be "living my life" waiting for the next appt to see what the outcome is. (I hate that part...I had been in the "watch and wait" period for TWO years before treatment was started...therefore I "lived my life" just waiting for those every 3 months appts) Can anyone understand what I mean? (I think I have rituxan brain right now) Will it ever be a distant memory? Can you ever just push it out of your mind? Right now, I just tell myself to take one day at a time....
Hugs and prayers to all that are going thru difficult things. I know there is a plan and God has control. I must say, in a strange way, cancer has been good for me. It has made me a better person, made me appreciate what I have. I really want for nothing...my sister said I have the "content" gene....she does not. I have not worked FT since mid December. I am an RN, just working 1 day a month. I had given up my FT RN position to watch my 2 year old nephew this past year. I'm hoping to be able to watch him at least 1 day a week eventually. But, surprisingly, we are managing...and my DH just got laid off (Always expected, he is a landscaper...so he snow plows when he can, but until these past several weeks, no snow)
So, life is good, even tho I can't sleep and I'm rambling in a major way!

 

[Mackey Mouse]

Hi Susan.....first and foremost sending hugs your way..

I am awake myself and have been since 4:00am......I am the caretaker of this wonderful guy who is battling a reoccurrence of pancreatic cancer... Today is chemo day....so of course, I am up worrying....will everything go ok...I want no pain for him.. etc. etc.

I wanted you to know that although I personally am not feeling what you are feeling in your body and your brain, I do understand. My husband decided to drop the steroid from his treatment as it was making him a bit hostile and he was not sleeping. He did not actually know he was being so caustic, but he knew something was wrong as we were sort of staying away from him....that is how bad it was. We asked the doctor why the steroid was given and we were told to help combat the nausea and since his chemo is one of the ones that usually does not make you that kind of sick. he dropped that from his treatment.. This is a very sweet man, but the steroid turned him into a Mr Hyde from his usual sweet Dr. Jekyl. Also, he talks about his brain being in a fog after chemo... we have added acupuncture to his treatment on our own. It seems to help a bit with all that is going on.. she is trying to build his immune system. Our insurance does cover a portion of this and we will supplement the rest.

He goes today for treatment, we dread this day, and hopefuly the nurses will be paying attention to what he needs rather than just following what they need to do. The last two times the chemo has burned going in his arm, just no need for that, so hopefully we will try a new vein and not have that experience....It is bad enough sitting there knowing what is going on, but there is no need to experience it with pain.

Tom's oncologist here, not his oncologist in Boston, says we want people to live with the cancer.. like they live with diabetes, heart disease, etc. etc...I thought that was a great way of putting it....live with the cancer, he is trying to do that, just live his life..

Hugs to you... I am usually here and will try to respond and give a hug or a helping hand when I can... Please take care of yourself.. Ask about the steroid and its use.....maybe you can do without it and sleep more...

 

[N&B'smom]

I hope you got some sleep!! Sorry to hear about all you're going through. You have a great attitude! Keep that chin up. Should I start praying that you get a ton of snow so your hubby will be kept very busy?

I didn't deal with the same that you are but I did find out last August I had cervical cancer and needed a radical hysterectomy. (I was 33 at the time) Thankfully everything went well and I didn't need any other treatment. But I know all about cancer changing your outlook on life. It can be a good thing.

Shelby