Can't go to birthday party at last minute - still buy a gift?

[NikitaZee]

My 9 year old was invited to a classmate's birthday party and we RSVP'd yes. He came home sick from school today, so he won't be able to go to the party (it's tonight - at a Monster Mini-Golf place). I haven't bought the gift yet - does etiquette require that I still get one? Thanks.

 

[SC Minnie]

My 9 year old was invited to a classmate's birthday party and we RSVP'd yes. He came home sick from school today, so he won't be able to go to the party (it's tonight - at a Monster Mini-Golf place). I haven't bought the gift yet - does etiquette require that I still get one? Thanks.

I would say yes. I would also call and let them know your child won't make it because he's sick.

 

[NikitaZee]

I would say yes. I would also call and let them know your child won't make it because he's sick.

I have done that - I called and left a message with the boy's mom. I'm just trying to feel out people's opinions about the gift situation - it seems there's an invitation in the mail every week lately I thought that with the RSVP being yes, I might need to get a gift even if we can't attend.

 

[XYSRUS]

I say yes. Kids like gifts. Period. It doesn't have to be big but it should be thoughtful.

 

[mrsv98]

Since it is last minute and the mom most likely will have to pay for your son anyway, I say yes. Hope your boy feels better soon.

 

[ncmickeyluvr]

I'm not sure what's "correct"....I tend to not be "correct"....but I would get a gift. I would probably give the Mom a call and suggest a playdate at your house when your child feels better. Then I would probably have a cupcake or something and have a birthday "reinactment" with them. and give the gift them. I know my child would feel horrible about missing the party....this way they both sort of get something.

 

[mjkacmom]

Yes. If you RSVP no, no gift is required, but I always give the gifts if my kids can't make it, and I RSVP'd yes. I've noticed that people give my kids gifts if they get sick at the last minute, and my kids always give a favor to the child who got sick.

 

[minniebeth]

I personally say yes, and regardless of whether or not one of my kids can't make the party last minute or not, we buy a small gift for the birthday child. But to show the other side of it, we seem to always have one or two kids not be able to come last minute and I have to say, we've not received a gift unless it was a good friend that followed up with a recognition of the birthday.
I've never had to pay in full for all kids ahead of time at a party out, usually a deposit and then pay the rest for how many showed up. I think a lot of parents don't feel obligated to give a gift if the child doesn't attend the party.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I would. I'm sure you already have, but I'd make sure to call the parent to let them know, too, incase a sibling of a friend or something wants to take your child's spot.

 

[BellePrincessBelle]

I would (and have when my child has gotten sick at the last minute) buy the gift. You RSVP'd yes and they may have had to prepay a certain amount.

 

[glitterkittyy]

I would buy a gift and call with my regrets.

 

[cheermom1]

Personally if I was throwing the party and someone wasn't able to make it even last minute I would not expect a gift even if they RSVPed ...Why would you? If you call and tell the reason I see nothing wrong with it..here we don't do things like that if we can't make then we don't send a gift.

 

[NikitaZee]

Thanks for all the replies! I called again and spoke with his mom personally - I gave our regrets and said I'd love to have the boys get together over the weekend so we could give him his gift. She was really nice about it, and I feel like it was the thoughtful thing to do. Usually, if we don't attend a party we don't send a gift - but since this was a last minute cancellation and it was at a paid event, I thought I probably should this time.