The call of the jungle woke me
at a relatively late 8:00am.
The jungle is very considerate these days.
I decided to leave the rifle with
the aide, calculating that I would
be able to survive on my wits,
whereas he had demonstrated that
he had but half the required amount.
I'm not sure I trust your math there.
Hey, I finally got one right!
I paused to let my personal
photographer record the moment
when I came across the tribe's
sacred tree, whom they'd named
Hoyle Derrick. A curious name to be
sure, and one that I would attempt to
drill down to the bottom of.
Nice. You're just a well of pithy remarks.
I beg you not to look at the following
photo if you are of delicate constitution.
You will see that the beast has spied a
tempting morsel and the victim has his
arms raised in a defensive posture,
knowing that his demise is soon
forthcoming.
Man, you think you're just going on a fun vacation, and then you end up as dessert.
I was able to spy a rare Brownschmuck duck;
prized for its golden hued eggs and fatty meat.
Mmmmm...schmuck meat.
Surely, the lifespans of these people
could be measured in mere decades.
As opposed to other, more advanced civilizations, who can prolong that number by a factor of 1.
And don't call me Shirley.
Proceeding deeper into the
jungle, I shuddered as I spied
the scraps of clothes, hung akimbo
in the trees, marking where others
had ventured, but not returned.
I'm getting a Predator-vibe here.
After abating my hunger somewhat,
I continued in my search.
Signs of previous, unsuccessful
explorers were abundant.
This is it. This is where Forrestal cashed in.
A friend of yours?
A competitor. He was good. He was very, very good.
I was fortunate to find myself approaching
the village market where I traded some
jerky and a small pocket knife for a
drink that I loosely translated as
"Frozen Flamingo".
You traded yourself? How does that work?
I would not eat there, however.
I had heard far too many warnings
that the market food was tainted
and I did not want dysentery to
plague my exploratory expedition.
I didn't know they had a Taco Bell!
I was given a seat of honour...
Or was the empty seat upon which
I was the sole proprietor merely a
ruse to enable the carnivores easier
access to my defenseless self?
Or they knew you went to the Taco Bell.
While they look forbidding, they are actually
quite docile. The native children like to paint
their broad backs and ride them downriver.
Always a good time for the Florida kids!
They were obviously neither
alligator nor crocodile
as I did not see them
later nor in a while.
Story totally checks out.
Up ahead in the distance,
I saw some long-necked wild dogs.
All the animals were feeling lazy, I see.
We passed some of the villagers'
pet dogs along the way.
More animatronics! They're everywhere.
As we made our escape, we stumbled
upon a wide-eared Snortblast.
Isn't that from the Little Mermaid?
The spotted Cheeto-cat, was on
the hunt for kibble.
Mmmm...Cheetos...
<Off theme comment.
After I took the above photos of the cheetah,
I turned away to see what was approaching next
and a few people exclaimed.
Apparently, the cheetah had actually been hunting
and had pounced on a mouse or small bird.
Wish I'd seen that.
Continuing on...>
Dang. That would have been pretty cool.
This one was
obviously fake. A clever simulacrum
to fool the unwary.
I knew it!
My guide was not as fortunate.
Don't feel too badly, though.
He now works at a Caribbean Pirate
attraction somewhere in Florida.
I mean, Arrr...
Or is that vomit no evil??
Dang. Beat me to the joke.
Whoops.
This was not my encampment.
In my defense, all these jungle
camps of similar Value, look alike.
I arrived precisely at 5:30, and...
realized that I had forgotten my
telephone.
D'oh.
I allowed myself to be served a slice
of jungle mango pie.
Which was delicious.
Now we're talking!
A small example of encroaching
civilization in this rustic village.
Imagine my surprise when they both
proceeded to remove the top buns
and ate their meals with knives and forks.
I mean... really! In the jungle!
You can take the city folk to the jungle...and I don't know how to finish that thought.
And while the land was certainly
pretty enough, its true beauty
did not reveal itself until after
nightfall.
Oooh, pretty pictures!
Seriously, nice job.
I proceeded to the meeting point,
arriving at 9:10pm.
My driver was not there.
I was quite unimpressed with his
tardiness and told him so when
he arrived an inconceivable ten
minutes later!
Ten minutes!!
Unacceptable! An outrage!
I agree!
Carrie
