Canadian Buffoon's Disney With a Teen Vacation - 08/13 - The Wrap

[DizzneyDi]

It's so sad when you get to the end of a trip. It's even sadder when you get to the end of a trip report. I think you should just keep this report going forever, Ponzi. You have 2 actual trips coming up, and who knows, you might need to drive all the way across Winnipeg to get your oil changed, right? (Sample bonus questions: How long does it take? Were there line jumpers? How much oil was required, and is that in quarts, litres or Imperial quarts? What did you have for lunch? Did you stop anywhere on the way home?) Just imagine our joy if you decided to visit the mall!!

Congrats to our esteemed winner. Well played, jandlinz! I'm actually shocked that I made the top 10. My goal since retirement has been to flit from pillar to post (I don't know what that means either), never stopping long enough to finish doing ANYTHING. It's amazing how the old habits kick back in when the right trip report comes along. Of course my former job title was library assistant, which pretty much meant I read books for a living, so getting back in the saddle was relatively pain free!

Your report left me with one burning question:

A giant space whale could swallow the earth and then spit us out.
That would undoubtedly slow things down.
If he didn't spit us back out, things would be moot, of course.

Do you think this giant space whale will show up on my weather app?

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

I was actually really interested in this, although I thought he was calculating how many stairs, not how many flights.

I can do that (heck, you can do that)…

A bit of research leads me to believe that there are eight steps per flight (which is also fairly standard for risers in the US in general) and two flights per story. As such, getting to the fourth floor require a total of six flights or… 48 upward steps per trip.

48 steps x 17 assents = 816
(disregarding the additional shuffle steps required to traverse the landings, of course)



Or - to put it another way - 102 total flights; equaling 51 stories climbed.
You ought'a be tuckered.

 

[jandlinz]

I can do that (heck, you can do that)…

A bit of research leads me to believe that there are eight steps per flight (which is also fairly standard for risers in the US in general) and two flights per story. As such, getting to the fourth floor require a total of six flights or… 48 upward steps per trip.

48 steps x 17 assents = 816
(disregarding the additional shuffle steps required to traverse the landings, of course)



Or - to put it another way - 102 total flights; equaling 51 stories climbed.
You ought'a be tuckered.

See... Now that is facsinating! Thanks for enlightening me more.

 

[Steppesister]

They leave their homes behind and move to Florida.

My faith in humanity is restored. There are yet some very smart people roaming the earth. Apparently I am not rich enough yet to be one of them.

"Dad. Can you finish packing for me?"
<sigh>
"Sure."

Totally saw this coming.

Then again, I am incredibly dashing, you know.

Yes. Yes you are.





Oh. Wait, the contest is over.

Steppesister - 33

Dam....it. 5 stinking minutes.

Thanks to everyone who read along
and a special thank you to all those whose comments
and stories helped make this TR a joy to read
and a pleasure to write.

That's what TRs (and PTRs) are all about!

Go find other TRs to read,

Mine ain't bad..... a formal invitation to your readers.

 

[SnowWhiteOz]

But before I get into that,
I have to say a big THANK YOU! to you.

And an extra special thank you to those of you
who are from countries other than the US
who offered to help.
I respectfully declined those offers
(when I remembered to!) as I felt
it would be too much of a burden on them.
I figured it would be easy for a more "local" person
to grab it and pop it in the mail when they got home.

Shut up! You're ruining my pity-party!
Sheesh.

Minutes later, feeling a bit more alive...
Take this from a long time shift worker.
While a shower is not a substitute for sleep,
it is the second best thing.

Then again, I am incredibly dashing, you know.
So perhaps I shouldn't be overly surprised.

How could anyone forget an encounter with @pkondz?

Our flight was scheduled to depart at 6:55am
and Disney, in its infinite wisdom, had determined
that the optimal time for guests to be thrown out of their rooms
was four hours before international flight time.
This actually makes sense if you take into account possible scenarios:

There may be an accident on the highway which closes it down,
resulting in a snarl that backs up traffic for miles.
Except no one's driving at 2:55am except us.
Still, could happen.

Maybe our bus might break down.
This could result in an extended delay.
I mean no one else would possibly be up at that God forsaken time,
so it would take a while to wake people up to come get us.

A giant space whale could swallow the earth and then spit us out.
That would undoubtedly slow things down.
If he didn't spit us back out, things would be moot, of course.

MCO security screening...
'Nuff said.


So that's why we were catching DUD four hours
before our flight time.

Nope, don't try and use logic to explain their terrible logistics. 4 hours is the worst.

Would our VIP bus package turn into a pumpkin*
now that we were checked out?
(It was after midnight you know.)

*Thanks to @cinderkelly for that line!


You don't really believe that we waited do you?
I mean, we did have the VIP bus package.

We walked through the doors and the bus driver
was standing beside his bus saying
"Are you pkondz? I was waiting for you."
We tossed our bags in the belly of the bus.
As soon as we boarded, the bus departed for the airport.

Oh, there was a wall separating us from our point of origin.
Wouldn't want people to see their destination is only six feet away
when you can force them to walk
"The World's Longest Hallway (part 1)"!

Maybe if you'd have one of these

Since we were first in line, a second line had formed.
And since we were first in line, the second line started to get served.
The first few passengers were checked in and on their way
before the attendant serving our line motioned us forward.

That would irritate me to no end. I always seem to pick the shortest queue that happens to move slower than a glacier.

"Why yes. As a matter of fact I am in a Plus seat."
Envy me, people. Envy me.

The flight was dull.
I ordered a drink (probably juice or ginger ale) and a sandwich.
I watched a movie.
Get Hard starring Will Ferrell and Kevin Hart.
It's a comedy.
Well.... it's supposed to be a comedy.
I didn't find it funny.
Maybe it's because I was leaving Disney and I was a little down.
Maybe because it's just not a very good movie.
Probably the latter.
I don't even remember much of it.
I just kind of stared at it, hoping something amusing would happen.

It didn't.

Your first mistake was watching a movie with Kevin Hart in it.

Security was sloooow.
It took about half an hour from the time we got in line
until they were scanning and poking our bodies
in an obvious attempt to humiliate us.
Ha! Jokes on them! I'd already publicly humiliated myself in Orlando!
Hmmm... That might explain the wide berth people were giving me.

I'm guessing it was a lot like this.

When we landed and deplaned,
(deplaned! deplaned!)
we headed out and scanned the welcoming crowd for Ruby.
I knew I'd spot her and grins and waves would ensue.

The End

If any of the top 4 had guessed "bags"
they would have won the contest.
@SnowWhiteOz came close when she guessed "tie".
Sorry but no cigar smoking boomer.

Final Points Standings:

jandlinz – 250 points
Saturn23 – 248 points
GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes – 245.72 points
DISNEYMOON10121991 – 240 points
SnowWhiteOz – 236 points

That's all folks!
See you in Maui!

 

[DonnaBeeGood]

.

 

[Backstage_Gal]

so sad your report is over. Sorry I didn't comment, but I have read every word!! I'll be along
for the Maui trip for sure.

 

[seashell724]

I LOVED reading this trip report. Most helpful of all was probably not the most exciting part. The horrible transferring of planes in Toronto. I did it years ago but now going with a family I am dreading it. We are only flying home through TO but still....I really am dreading it. I go to Pearson a few times a year and I cannot STAND that airport. Now doing it with kids?! Yikes. Thanks for walking me through! (I am still baffled as to why we have to pick up our own suitcases and drop them off again....)

 

[MAGICFOR2]

Wow! I actually ended up in the middle of the pack this time. Thanks for all the bonus points!

So cool that you made those special memories with your daughter. Thanks so much for writing and for taking time for the contest!

Now I am looking forward to a nice Hawaiian punch - I mean vacation, yours!

 

[pkondz]

I will comment more fully later but I just have to say

Sorry! You were close, though!

Sad your trip is over...

but at least you have Hawaii to look forward to!!

The ME does leave ridiculously early for flights to Canada...sigh....makes sense in some ways...but really...not lol...I think it should be the same 3 hours as flights to the US...oh well.

I have no idea why they think we need that extra hour.
We don't clear customs until we land, so that's irrelevant.

Say it ain't over!!!

Okay. I won't.


But it is.

I didn't get my final guesses in!

I know!
I waited as long as I could.

I wouldn't have won anyway!

Well.... you would've had to do some MAJOR sucking up.

I haven't had much DIS time and I've been reading other peoples reports. Sorry I was cheating on you!

I saw that.
I thought you were mad at me or something.

I thought Mickey Moose would get a mention in one of your updates.

I sort of did.
I mentioned that we had to stop in Canada to pick something up.
But I didn't want to say what, I was hoping you would post a picture!

I can't believe that total transportation wait time! It's ridiculous!

Is that not normal?
Should have been less time, right?

When are you going back to WDW?

I don't have any dates in mind.
And with our dollar taking the pounding that it is... not in the foreseeable future.

I know Maui is next and then Baniff. Will you add Maui onto this TR or start a new one?

Yes!
I'll be starting the Maui portion... oh, I dunno... a week or so?

But you know me, I don't really do PTRs so much.
So things will be pretty light until I get back.

Did you buy Kay's plane ticket to Cleveland yet for this summer?

No.

When are you coming back to Cleveland?

I'd like to. But see above comment re our tanking dollar.

Thanks for a great TR. Later!

Thanks, Carrie!

 

[KathyM2]

I have no idea why they think we need that extra hour.
We don't clear customs until we land, so that's irrelevant.

Exactly!! I tried to tell them that logic...but no dice lol

 

[pkondz]

Excellent! I hope the quest has a happy ending.

Me too!

If there's one thing you can count on, it's that Rob will keep track of and remember things from your own TR's that you forgot ages ago!

And he did a good job, too!
That never even occurred to me.

Exactly.

Those people drive you nuts, don't they? They're what we call "smart".

Yeah. Where do they get off?

Quoth the pkondz, "Nevermore. I'm moving to Florida like the smart people!"

Story checks out.

You too?

Also, there's that loss of sleep that is concerning.

Oooh... Hadn't thought of that.

Or their customer service is so good, they're well-trained at the polite laugh.

I did think that. But she actually looked surprised too.
And that's harder to fake than a laugh.

By the way, have you seen "Angie Tribeca" on TBS? It's a spoof of cop shows done in the style of Airplane! or The Naked Gun. It's like a half-hour of nothing but Dad jokes.

No! I'll have to see if we get it.

Please remember to take photos.

I did.
They just came out black.
Got a grainy shot of the uvula as we went by, but that's it.

Oh man, I'm going to have a story for you in my next TR.

Standing by.

I hope you enjoyed this trip, because that's never happening again!

I should hope not! A minute and a half? Ridiculous!
Anything over a minute is unacceptable.

I found this out when trying to walk with 3 young kids (at the time) and a father-in-law with a walker and an oxygen tank.

Oy. How many days did it take?

Seriously, don't get me started on MCO...

So...Mark. How do you feel about MCO?

They're thinking, "Ah, nobody's here this early. It won't matter."

Pretty sure we weren't on the first DME bus they've ever seen.

So that's where they moved the Norway ride.

I liked the part when you went backwards.
No... that's not it...
The part with my backside.

That's it.

If you've got it, flaunt it.

Otherwise what's the point?

I'm sorry to read that. I really am.

Sorry. Had to happen sooner or later.

Thank you for writing it. It was a pleasure to read. You never cease to make me laugh, and I find myself wanting to go back and read your earlier TR's, since I was late to the party. In fact, maybe I'll do just that. Your obvious love for your family shines through.

Awww... shucks.
I guess I'm a better writer than I thought, 'cause I despise the little heathens!

Yes, please! Can't wait!

Probably start in a week or so?

I'll settle for a respectable showing. And for beating Andy.

You like that, do you?

 

[irene_dsc]

I have to admit, it feels weird that I don't have to figure out contest responses before posting after a big Ponzi TR update!

Home again, home again...jiggety jig. Keeps running through my head when I see the thread title. I'd get points for that if there were points to get, right?

And if only I had chosen to go for flattery points, I might've ended up higher than 12th!

 

[pkondz]

Rob's good at keeping track of useless information.

This is what I'm hearing.

I think we all get it.

Yup. I'm sure we all do.

But why?????

Because life ain't fair.

Didn't have to fill the ice bucket with water?

I'm not climbing those stairs again!

You've got to be kidding me!! This is just ridiculous!

If there was some way he could've been there earlier than zero wait,
I'm sure it would've happened.

Nope, going straight to the end!

Dang it!

In other words... you somehow got to the airport.

Pretty sure we got there by bus...


pretty sure.


maybe.

Um... 2 eternities? And one longer than another? Do you even know what eternity means???

I do!
Eternity. Definition: The time it takes for the bus to come when Andy's waiting for it.

Wait a minute... we're gonna miss our plane!!!

We'll be stuck in Florida!

Quick, get on the phone and see if Pop has a room for tonight!

The thought might have crossed my mind.

Naturally. Always seems to happen this way.

Yup.

No one got that!
(At least not yet. Haven't read ahead.)

And you weren't going to offer to help them???

This is how it happened.
There was a family in front of us at security.
I thought they might be going to Canada, but I didn't really know.
By the time we were approaching the monorail,
they were already heading back from it saying "This is the wrong one."

I didn't get a chance to tell them anything.
Otherwise I would've.
Done that more times than I can count.

It is ok a day or 2 later, but it is much better fresh.

That's what I figured.
Oh, well. Still good.

Yay... and booo!

Yup. Pretty much sums it up.

That should be a fun trip! Looking forward to hearing about it!

Starting in about a week, I think.

 

[pkondz]

Thank you for a fun TR to read and be a part of!
I thoroughly enjoyed it!

Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it!

See you in Maui!!
Well, not "in" Maui. I've never been, nor to Hawaii at all... it's on my bucket list!

It's a good place to have on a bucket list.
We love it there.

So sad that the trip is over. . . even sadder that the trip report is over! What am I going to read now?

Well... I've got the Maui one coming up shortly....

All in All it seems like you had a wonderful trip with Kay.

It had its moments... but most of those were good.

There is nothing that will replace those memories. And that is all we can really ask for right?

Absolutely!

Now plan another trip, so I can live vicariously through another trip report already!

I did! Maui's just three weeks away now!

 

[pkondz]

Aw! That's so sweet. We all just want to help out.

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, people here are really nice.
But it does.
"You're willing to do that?... For me???"

Well, for Kay... but you get the idea.

17! That's crazy!

I KNOW!!!!

Too bad the park wasn't open late. You could have just stayed at the park until the wee hours of night.

It was open a little later, but by then we were beat.

Nice way to end it.

What would've been better would've been
"Congratulations! You've won a permanent free lifetime stay
at any resort with parkhopper and more passes!"

I don't think that's asking for too much, do you?

I'm surprised she's never heard that before either.

It took me by surprise that I took her by surprise.

I, I, I couldn't help it.

No, I suppose not!

Grrr... A door would have been nice.

But then the airport employees couldn't point their fingers at you and laugh.

Nice way to keep your composure. I'm sure Kay had no idea.

That's what parents do.

That is so funny. My mom actually didn't empty her pockets completely and the scanner picked up on something in her pocket. When a couple of security guards surrounded her and had her empty her pockets she showed them a wet wipe she uses after using the bathroom. She had to explain she likes to be clean in more than those words. It really was funny and the security men were so red in the face.

OMG! I did the same thing!!
Well, without the, uh... extra explanation (now that's funny!)
I had a couple of those in my pocket too.
Why not? We got kids. They get messy. They're handy!
And foil lined too... Whoops!

To this day, Elle (DD18) asks me if I have wet naps in my pocket
whenever I go to the airport.

I totally envy you.

As you should!

Haha. Sweet thing was exhausted.

I got a chuckle out of her.
"I won't sleep! zzzzzzz..."

We have Tim Horton's in Michigan and when we first came from Ohio I had no clue what it was and Ohio is only one state away.

Interesting.
Ever go to it?

I like what you did there.

Thanks!

Me! I'm super honored! Thank you.

You're welcome! You earned it!

I was actually really interested in this, although I thought he was calculating how many stairs, not how many flights.

Uh, oh. Now you've done it...

 

[pkondz]

It's so sad when you get to the end of a trip. It's even sadder when you get to the end of a trip report.

Sorry! Had to come home. Ruby was waiting!

I think you should just keep this report going forever, Ponzi.

Well, it is going on at least a little longer,
with the Maui trip just three weeks away now.

You have 2 actual trips coming up, and who knows, you might need to drive all the way across Winnipeg to get your oil changed, right? (Sample bonus questions: How long does it take? Were there line jumpers? How much oil was required, and is that in quarts, litres or Imperial quarts? What did you have for lunch? Did you stop anywhere on the way home?) Just imagine our joy if you decided to visit the mall!!

I'm actually shocked that I made the top 10.

Why? Well deserved!

My goal since retirement has been to flit from pillar to post (I don't know what that means either), never stopping long enough to finish doing ANYTHING.

You're retired. You can do whatever you want!

Plus. Some say that it might be derived from going from the whipping post to the pillory.
Pillar to post is easier to say than post to pillar. But it originally was turned around.

It's amazing how the old habits kick back in when the right trip report comes along.

And this was the right one?? Thanks!

Of course my former job title was library assistant, which pretty much meant I read books for a living, so getting back in the saddle was relatively pain free!

I was always jealous of librarians when I was a kid.
All those books! And you were right there! All the time!

Your report left me with one burning question:

You can buy an ointment for that.

Do you think this giant space whale will show up on my weather app?

It should, but only if you have it on National setting as opposed to local.
Right now, the whale's over Buck Knob, Arkansas.

 

[pkondz]

A bit of research leads me to believe that there are eight steps per flight (which is also fairly standard for risers in the US in general) and two flights per story. As such, getting to the fourth floor require a total of six flights or… 48 upward steps per trip.

48 steps x 17 assents = 816
(disregarding the additional shuffle steps required to traverse the landings, of course)



Or - to put it another way - 102 total flights; equaling 51 stories climbed.
You ought'a be tuckered.

I didn't see any pics of the stairs at Pop, but I did see some for ASMu.
And there were indeed 8 steps/flight.


I am currently in the process of re-writing my will to exclude her.
After all, it looks like she's trying to hasten my demise.

See... Now that is facsinating! Thanks for enlightening me more.

You did this!

 

[pkondz]

My faith in humanity is restored. There are yet some very smart people roaming the earth. Apparently I am not rich enough yet to be one of them.

Or retired enough.

Yes. Yes you are.

Oh. Wait, the contest is over.

Dam....it. 5 stinking minutes.

Thought you were going to win it... up until near the end.

That's what TRs (and PTRs) are all about!

Mine ain't bad..... a formal invitation to your readers.

She's right. Hers ain't bad at all.

 

[pkondz]

You're very welcome, little girl.

Personal only.
You do not want to be around me when I'm pouting.

See? See? She gets it.

How could anyone forget an encounter with @pkondz?

Most don't.
It's just that it's usually followed by a shudder.

Nope, don't try and use logic to explain their terrible logistics. 4 hours is the worst.

Agreed. It is.

Why yes. Yes I am.

Maybe if you'd have one of these

Just not in that particular hotel, okay?

That would irritate me to no end. I always seem to pick the shortest queue that happens to move slower than a glacier.

There was some "scientific" explanation for why the short line is always the longest.

That's crap, of course.
The longest line is whichever line "I" pick.

Your first mistake was watching a movie with Kevin Hart in it.

Correct.
But I think there was nothing else that either remotely interested me,
or that I hadn't already watched.

I'm guessing it was a lot like this.

Pretty close... pretty close.
(best movie ever)

Awwww... poor li'l ozzie.

Why would you say that? You did quite well!

Better get a bucket.