Our ride begins with Ariel having discovered something new from above the waves.
The other fish, knowing darned well what she's found decide to have some fun with her...
Ariel, being totally clueless, is very happy with her little statue.
The fish, being not dense, tell her it's actually an ornate flask,
but tell her it's filled with a magical wishing potion.
Of course it's actually filled with 80 proof vodka...
Ariel, being not the brightest bioluminescent fish in the sea,
drinks it down and gets totally plastered, as seen below...
So Ariel, totally hammered, decides that she really,
really
likes this "potion" and wants more.
But to get more, she's gotta have legs.
Because what self-respecting guy is gonna buy a drink
for a chick with a fin instead of legs? Am I right?
Yeah, I would. But I said "
self-respecting"...
Eventually, Ariel sobers up enough to actually think straight.
Or as straight as she possibly can.
(Poor thing. If she spent less time finding trinkets
and more time schooling with the other fish she'd be smarter.)
She figures if anyone would know about getting extra limbs, it would be an octopus.
I mean, they've got a
ton of them, right?...
So she goes and visits her kindly Aunt, Ursula.
Ursula agrees that if she really wants to get schnozzed on a regular basis,
the surface is where it's at.
She warns Ariel that if she wants legs, she can have 'em.
But it'll cause short term laryngitis.
Ariel agrees to pay the price and gets legs.
Nearly drowns, 'cause she's underwater, but still.
She's got legs...
When she gets up to the surface, she realizes that she's been tricked.
While she was expecting the laryngitis,
she didn't expect that to get some vodka, she'd have to have money.
So she latches on to the first dude that wanders by and she tries to seduce him...
Unfortunately, the first dude she sees is about as dense as she is.
So even though she's throwing every trick in the book at him,
the guy doesn't clue in that she wants him to kiss her.
This, of course, is every male on the planet in a nutshell.
If you don't come right out and
say "Hey stupid! Kiss me!"
we just aren't going to get it.
But she's got laryngitis, remember?
Anyway, the guy finally clues in and thinks he's Don Juan,
while she's thinking "Finally!"...
But then who shows up to ruin everything?
Dad!
Because that's what Dads do.
Prevent boys from kissing their daughters, of course...
So Dad says, "Hold it right there bud! That's my kid you're putting the moves on!"
He tells the poor schmuck that if he wants to snog with his kid,
he's going to have to marry her first.
Otherwise he's going to take this trident and stick it right up his, uh...
He brandishes his trident menacingly!
So naturally, one thing leads to another, and the next thing you know,
the poor sap is roped into a wedding with a girl he hardly knows.
I mean, look at his face!
If that's not apprehension mixed with doubt and apprehension,
covered with a fake smile, I don't know what is!
Well, at least they all lived happily ever after.
At least until he finds out that she drinks like a fish.
But that's another ride.